ElfxHuman relationships

>Can somebody tell me what the fuck happend?
You made a shitty story.

Negative: "Sarah, it'd be like fucking a chimp. A chimpanzee Sarah. Disgusting, hairy primate sex!"
Aaaand now it's a positive.

Let 'em have their RP. Better just let 'em have it than have the hassle of shitting on it.

>killing yourself over and over again and have your elf friend reincarnate you again until you're an elf too
>Yes, I've had players who have done the above mentioned suicide/reincarnation about ten times until they finally became an elf.

I'll be honest, that's a fucking new one for me I've heard as far as Veeky Forums shittery goes.

You're her knight errant now. It's sorta like being married and her guard dog.

Don't listen to these little shits, user. I liked your story

Elf+nonelf can't not be at least a bit creepy to me. It's like an 80-year-old man trapped in the body of a 20-year-old, relationships do not work on a purely physical basis and age is a huge factor. How can you not consider elves to be extreme pedophiles as they are attracted to what is, in comparison to them, infants? They are only young on the outside. Being into an elf is understandable though I still feel like few real relationships would work on the human end either.

>Let 'em have their RP
I remember some time ago elf threads would be flooded with greentext stories about how all these elf cuties would be so much into the self-insert human, because he's oh so humanly! and I don't really want these dark times to come back.

Not really. Assuming the human is ~25 (or at least 20) and whatever age elves are mature at, they've both matured physiologically and psychologically, so its not really a factor. This is more of an issue:

>and psychologically, so its not really a factor
Depends on the writer. That DnD elves only consider elves above 100 years to be adults, meaning that they have a different understanding of adulthood, should make it clear that relationships with a race that is about to die when they reach elven adulthood would be frowned upon.

On the other hand, elves could regard it in sort of the same way that human parents regard getting a dog for their young kid.

"Ah, let Calahir have his relationship with that red-haired human girl. When she dies it'll help teach him about death."

>that human parents regard getting a dog

*that SOME human parents MIGHT regard. Mea culpa.

Some folk just want a doggo.

>Depends on the writer. That DnD elves only consider elves above 100 years to be adults, meaning that they have a different understanding of adulthood, should make it clear that relationships with a race that is about to die when they reach elven adulthood would be frowned upon.
Well thats the thing, there is a link between physiological and psychological maturity. The latter encompasses the former (and more). Even once you reach physiological maturity, you require time to finalize your understanding of the world, and yourself.

All that is besides the point though. The point is, assuming both individuals are physiologically and psychologically mature, its not like pedophilia.

Because like all species we have seen that grow really fucking old, they mature at the same rates as species that are similar but die off pretty quickly.

Any other Interpretation is stupidity.

>elves could regard it in sort of the same way that human parents regard getting a dog for their young kid
That's insulting to both races.

>The point is, assuming both individuals are physiologically and psychologically mature
They are not regarded as equally mature, that is my point.

Pedophilia is defined as an attraction to children (the exact age I can't remember, lets just say its prepubescent). Assuming both individuals are physiologically and psychologically mature, its not pedophilia.

Go on and shift the goal posts some more if you want though, have some fun with that.

>They are not regarded as equally mature, that is my point.

Elves have a different definition of "maturity" that doesn't match up to human ones, though. You're projecting human societal standards onto a race that doesn't just live longer, but ages differently. By the standards of a human society, elves are mature at ~20-25 years old. By the standards of elves, however, that degree of maturity - being old enough to have kids, get a job, etc. - doesn't actually constitute "mature."

Or in other words, to an elf, you're not necessarily an adult just because you've shat out a few babies and raised them to the human's very limited definition of "adulthood".

>That's insulting to both races.

I don't really see how it's insulting to the elves. As for it being insulting to the human, oh no, the pwecios widdle gnat had its feewings huwrt.

You feel sad? You gonna cwy for the 40 years you have left in life?

>H-humans don't cry for years at a time!

What, seriously?! How can you know if you're actually sad, then?

>Go on and shift the goal posts some more
What the fuck are you even talking? Calm down. Elves have a different understanding of adulthood, that's my point. They would naturally look down upon a relationship between an elf and a creature that for their understanding hasn't really grown up before thy wither away. If you don't undertand that you can keep accusing me of moving some goals isntead of arguing this point.

>Elves have a different definition of "maturity" that doesn't match up to human ones, though
That's my point, though.
>You're projecting human societal standards onto a race
I'm not, though.

>Calm down
I'm just stating facts. You keep shifting the goal posts.

>Elves have a different understanding of adulthood, that's my point. They would naturally look down upon a relationship between an elf and a creature that for their understanding hasn't really grown up before thy wither away.
Thats nice, but I never made a comment about what they think about this. Only that it isn't pedophilia according to the human definition, or even like pedophilia. If both of them are physiologically and psychologically mature *for their species*, then you're literally delusional if you think its pedophilia.

>Elves can live up to 700 years
>But they mature at the same rate as humans
What if that's like that one people Gulliver came across on his travels but nobody talks about? The immortals that are in a perpetual state of misery because they can't fucking die? What if elves age as fast as humans, and by the time they hit 100 almost all of them are blind, deaf, toothless and cripple and they STILL have 600 years left to go? What if elves envy the shortlived humans for how merciful destiny is to them, making the suffering of old age as short as possible? Is this perhaps why the elves seemingly have an endless number of warriors? Are most of them just old-timers who don't want to literally wallow in their own piss for literally centuries?

I want to bully that elf and make her eat weird foods.

>Thats nice, but I never made a comment about what they think about this
Did you... just move the goal post? The very thing you accuse me of?

>They would naturally look down upon a relationship between an elf and a creature that for their understanding hasn't really grown up before thy wither away.

That depends entirely on what they actually define as being an "adult". For my own part, stages of elven life goes like this:

>0-25:
"Childhood", equivalent of a 0-15 year-old human, except that the elf version of puberty doesn't happen. Elves of this age are treated like humans treat children.

>25-40:
"Adolescence". The elven version of puberty happens during this time. Elves can't typically get pregnant before ages 35-45. Elves of this age are learning how to be a parent and looking for a spouse.

>40-50:
The elf gets married and have a long "honeymoon" where they just focus on developing their relationship. Having a kid at this point is considered too early, though not scandalously so.

>50-100:
The elven couple by this point should have a kid. Their job at this point is solely to raise their children.

A fair portion of half-elves result from elves of this age (though not many since few elves leave their homes at this point). All it really means in practice is that the elf's parents and grandparents will be financially supporting their kids and grandkids for a shorter length of time, so in a way it's a positive thing (though there is pressure to "find a nice elf to settle down with", of course).

>100-110:
Finishing off any rearing of kids; and learning an actual trade or job so that they can support their kids and grandkids.

>110-160:
Elven adulthood. The elf's main goal is to financially support his or her kids and grandkids until the oldest grandkid is old enough to have kids of his or her own.

>160+:
By this point the elf is free to do whatever he or she feels like, with no societal obligations remaining. An elf of this age is the equivalent of a 35-ish-year-old human. Most half-elves are born to elves of this age.

Screw you, buddy! You want romantic hopeful? Play Blue Rose! This is D&D, a man's game!

>elf gets married before adulthood
Full retard.

Elves have a different definition of "adulthood" that does not match up to human definitions. Because they're not human.

What would be retarded would be expecting a race that can live up to 700 years or more to simply have "stretched out" human definitions of age.

They have different inheritance laws, too.

Nope. This is purely an argument about whether or not a human-elf relationship is even like pedophilia. Its not, and you're an idiot.

>to simply have "stretched out" human definitions of age
Nobody is arguing this. But getting married before what they also consider as "adulthood" doesn't make sense unless is something like marriage without consummation. Pumping out kids before even thinking how you will be able to feed them might make sense for a race that produces fast with a high mortality, but it looks out of place on elves.

>ElfxHuman
Pic related, the first result of such a union.

>This is purely an argument about whether or not a human-elf relationship is even like pedophilia
Not for me, though. Pleae stop assuming you are talking with the same user, especially since I got into this conversation witha completely different argument.

>Pumping out kids before even thinking how you will be able to feed them

Did you miss the part where in elf society, it's the grandparents' job to support the kids and grandkids? Elven parents know how they're going to support their kids. It's called their own mom and dad.

What, you're not seriously going to expect someone to both raise a kid AND hold down a job?! The kid will end up neglected!

Sounds unnecessarily grim, dark and too moody.

So you started responding to someone else about an argument you weren't making.

Did your mum drink when she was pregnant or were you just blessed with an extra chromosome?

At least it's something original instead of bog-standard elf girl x human male.

Well, I made you mad, which wasn't my intention but your decision since it's pretty normal around here that other anons might have to say something and getting buttblasted because you can't recognize if someone wants to add something to a conversation, reflecting on the topic from a different angle, is pretty stupid. So at least there is that.

See, this is why you become an archmage. Your elven lover thought that she was just getting the fun of a five or six decade fling without any long term commitment? Ha! Joke's on her! Now that you can bend physical laws to your will, you'll be the one outliving her!

and of course, once you're an archmage, all the elven women want the magical dick

Meanwhile, from the elf's point of view:
> My human boyfriend loved me so much he pursued and mastered epic level magic capable of reshaping reality just to stay with me.
> THAT IS SO HOT.

Elf dick are already inherently magical.

>once you're an archmage, all the elven women want the magical dick
Source?

>implying i need to be mad to insult someone
You really aren't too bright are you? I just enjoy insulting people.

Ask the master.

Elves are usually depicted as an extremely high magic species. Based on this you can safely assume that magical aptitude is something that proto-elves looked for when choosing mates, and this gets passed down as something that elves today find attractive.

What? Aragorn, the guy that surpasses human lifespan to the point that you can barely call him a human? Or Tolkien, that had maybe three elfxhuman couples in all of his works? Often with humans that are not really human.

Would Tolkien be disgusted by the half-elves of DnD and DnD-like settings?

>based on this you can safely assume things that never happened in any setting

This reminds me of the opening of one of those contemporary fantasy manga I saw, where the first page during the narration showed a young man and elf getting together, followed by a panel of him being an old man sitting down next to his still young looking wife while the main character watched.

Can't for the life of me remember what it's called though.

He'd probably dismiss d&d altogether and occasionally get annoyed by fan letters asking him about it.

Aragorn was part of some ancient super blessed half elf royal bloodline and had like a 300 year lifespan. Arwen was also his (very distant) cousin.

>You're her knight errant now. It's sorta like being married and her guard dog.

Zack Hutchins here and man am I glad I got a reply... And seriously??? I'm practically married to her now? Well goddamn, I know I find both elf men and women attractive personally, but I never expected to marry an elf or BE MARRIED to one... Also before I got back to my laptop. I reported back to the very spot I witnessed the qt elf mage gal; or should I say my wife, was attacked by Orc Raiders. the clean up crew was there already along with my sergeant and other local elf guardsmen, who thankfully spoke Common Tongue. Basically the following bellow is what transpired after that wedding ceremony:

>After that ceremony I told qt elf mage gal and her parents I needed to report back to base and my superiors; my sergeant specifically
>They understand as i bid farewell to the parents and wished the qt elf mage gal good night and she just giggled saying she'll see me again soon
>cleanup team with sergeant, along with other local elven guardsmen already there
>when i show up the clean up crew, who're my fellow soldiers look at me and start to laugh
>sergeant chuckels and asks me from where i got this ear ring
>i told him that some elf woman gave it to me as thanks for saving her life
>he laughs and says to just get my ass into humvee and that i need to write report once we get to our base
>next morning i'm told i have visitor
>it's qt elf mage gal
>she tells me she misses me and would really love it that I comeback home with her, as in the village she lives in
>i tell her base is temporary home untill my deployment ends
>she just grabs my hand and storms off with me
>on our way out i meet sergant and he just starts laughing and says my things will be delivered to me today
>i don't understand, am i being reloacted?
>i try to ask qt why am i still needed
>she just says to be quiet and that she'll have a talk with me once we'll come home

(.to be cont)

>I know I find both elf men and women attractive personally, but I never expected to marry an elf or BE MARRIED to one...
That's the power of fanfiction.

>Anyone mind telling me what just happened to me???
You're a faggot who thought GATE was good, so I'm guessing brain damage happened.

I've always felt this. The example elf character in GURPS mentions it as well.

The other thing is, consider the aging process. Until about 15 (give or take) you're a child. By 35, even most hot women are starting to look worn and visibly aged. By 45, they're infertile. So the relationship might last 50 years, but you only really get about 20 "good" years. And that's including early teen creepiness and 30-something faded beauty years. The hangover lasts longer than the party did. Those sweet human curves come at a price.

With a man, things are a little better. Guys look weedy and boyish until they're 20 or so. With good health and nutrition. A man can look good into his 50s. Visibly aging, but age sits better on men than women. Figure 30 to 40 good years, then 20 or so and he dies. Not great, but nowhere near as bad.

(A lot of the bitterness on /r9k/ and sex and the city stems from the resulting math btw.)

I'm seeing now why most pairs are elf woman and human man. But Tolkien aside, and legends of elf lineage in the distant past of old noble families, most legends are about one night stands and flings with the Fair Folk, not marriages. And for an elf, this makes a lot more sense. Romance, love, poetry, consummated with all-too-brief passion. Then aching but artful sorrow at loss. For an elf, the affair is doomed anyway, right? So why not make it a doomed good parts version of love? Why drag things out to the bitter end? And why poison love with jealousy of your immortality? Or your own resentment at cleaning their bedpans.

So fair young maids wander alone into the forest at night, near the old fairy ring. They come back the next morning 10 years older and with a baby in their arms, and maybe a goodbye trinket. And happy memories that will hopefully carry them through as they realize how pissed off their family is that their marriageability is greatly reduced.

And yet for elf/human affairs, that might be the best case scenario.

>I'm seeing now why most pairs are elf woman and human man
Nah, that would be elf male with human women, so the guy doesn't have to deal with a half-elf bastard for the rest of his life.

(.cont)

So I guess this means I'm married then? Granted, never thought I'd get a gf or wife let alone an elven one. But the Idea of living in that quaint lil' elf town is also growing on me, plus thanks to my new waifu, I'm also learning to be more fluent in the elven tongue.

Plus just like my sarge told me, my personal belongings back at United Fed are all gonna be transfered to my new home and address. All with thanks to my parents and a few childhood friends who're all giddy and happy at the idea of me now officially married to a elf cutie. And I'm betting my ma and pa are eager for their new half-elf grand kiddies, hopefully not too soon, I still wana get to know my new waifu alot better. And so far asides being a novice mage, she's a decent musician who knows how to rock a human made guitar, she enjoys the comic books I read and is now starting to collect herself too. And I'm betting she's gonna have a fun time with Cable TV, videogames and the internet.

With military assets moving into this town to clear out orcish scum, also comes services and tech back from home to help accomidate, serve and make United Fed troopers like me happy being in this part of the elven lands. Plus sarge even told me I might even becoming an official member of the Elven Gendarmarie. From United Federeations soldier to a member of the elven guard, all thanks to me being hitched by an elf mage gril.

Or as some user said; I'm a Knight Errant to said elf mage gril *Non-RP response*

Well I don't know what to say to that but, who wouldn't find magical pointy eared men and women who're eternally youthful attractive?

Sorry but no, plus what is GATE even supposed to be? Not everyone might as be familiar as to what you's talking about. And I so happen to be such.

>plus what is GATE even supposed to be?
The same shit you are doing here.

>Yes, I've had players who have done the above mentioned suicide/reincarnation about ten times until they finally became an elf.
Why did you keep giving them the money to reincarnate

>writes some shitty fanfic about his self-insert where elves have to suffer through his prose and being a victim of his fantasies
>elfy adventurer
>mods TES elves to the point that they don't look like TES elves anymore
Guys like you are the bane of this fictional race.

There should honestly be alot more male elfxfemale human pairings. It only seems understandable, acceptable and truthful that human women finding elf guys; especially if said elf guy is a high wizard or an aristo, attractive and far more desirable than a regular human joe.

Why aren't there more male elfxfemale human pairings?

>inb4 I get accused of being a cuckold by some /pol/ shitfaces

>Just imagine the wealth and property an elf can accumulate over the years
Reminds me of Spartan women. They own the rights to the property of their husbands when they died and spartan men died a lot. A huge number of them marries multiple husbands so they ended up owning a lot of property and had a huge unofficial influence on how the state was governed. The kings of Sparta had to ask them for money in times of war.

Curious question, is the Elder Scrolls series the first to ever create the idea of elven men having beards? In most DnD and or similar settings and universes, elf males are often equally beautiful as their women and having such smooth and pretty faces too.

But it seems The Elder Scrolls is the only time I've ever seen where regular-full-blooded elves can grow beards and gentlemanly moustaches too and facial hair in general. And whenever I see a male elf with some facial hair, its often that elf guy is actually a half-elf who got the body-hair features from their human parents.

Probably not the first, but one of the few. Its also one of the few settings that made elven sub-races interesting.

I do vaguely like the idea of being a human third lover in an elf pairing.

You'd basically be a pet at that point,
so it might be my BDSM fetish showing.

>mfw another Dh'oine fucking and fetish thread

And I guess TES Dark Elves/Dunmer are potentially more interesting and cool or are equally cool and interesting as Dungeons and Dragons Drow Elves?

Elves have beards in warcraft, in d&d some magick beards fir fashion, and in tolkien they can grow them "with great effort"

Hmm okay, thanks for the info. But what I said at Is I'm inquiring if again; are TES Dark Elves/Dunmer are potentially more interesting and cool or are equally cool and interesting as Dungeons and Dragons Drow Elves?

>Why aren't there more male elfxfemale human pairings?
I have some ideas:
>1)
It is more common, but you won't see it a lot around here, because on various factors, one being that there is still a majority male audience around here, which doesn't want to see it, especially the ones that dislike elves. There is also the fact that there is some kind of power-play in these kind of stories, meaning the high-born, beautiful elf maiden falls for the rugged, strong male human. Not the other way around which doesn't make much sense since it's the elf, male as female, that holds all the sexual power And the male audience wants to be the conquerer. The humans are their self-inserts and presenting a mostly mal audience a world in which their girls get taken by a different race will make them uncomfortable.
>1,5)
I'm unsure how much I could blame male writers as well. Tanis Half-Elves was written by a woman and a man.
>2)
Girls themselves would rather self-insert as the elf, either with a male human or male elf.
>3)
The perception of the elves being the feminine race something I would argue against, though it's still an idea that is very present puts the feminine part on the elf.
>4)
Porn.
>5)
Tolkien did it so we must follow suit at all costs.

...

>Liking elves
>Not liking or wanting to be with more superior faeries/fae beings

Plebs...

They are very different in both theme and execution, I would argue they are difficult to compare. Is your opinion an opinion? Yes.

You want to shrink yourself to the size of a thumbtack?

Kinky.

Potentially yes. Depending on how far you can take your sense of disbelief. Dunmer are in part modeled after several historical culture and thus is a bit more grounded, while the Drow also kinda did the same thing but they are farther in the realm of fantasy.

faeries are CUTE!!

Holy fuck faggot,this shit is cringey as fuck. Quit while you're behind.

>what is GATE even supposed to be?
A shitty self-insert anime exactly like what you're writing and despite it being about some faggot spec ops otalu gaining a fantasy harem, it's still less masturbatory than your godawful want you're spurting all over the thread

First, it literally depends on the setting, regarding elves's ages. I mean, if they're immortal it's one thing, if they live 200 years a human relationship isn't necessarily THAT absurd.

Second, elves age too, if they die.

Third, you aren't saying stupid things, but I dunno. If they really live in the now (chaos and all that) maybe their relationships in general are more carefree (consider an elf-elf couple: the baby will mature slower than an human, but it's not THAT long either regarding their adult lives).
So... I dunno, I don't think they really should be portraied as that shallow. I can see elves be shockingly blunt to humans about aging, actually, telling everyone they're in relationship with "listen, we will not be together to the end, you realize that, right?"
>mfw this would mean elves are the final one night stand race

>male elf wizard/female human knight

Yes please

>Why aren't there more male elfxfemale human pairings?
Because Tolkien had none?

>>Any sensible civilization with inheritance laws would flat out ban interspecies marriages
Or maybe they will invent their own Salic law

Femdom fags are obnoxious

>Implying a powerful wizard wouldn't be the dominant one
>Implying he wouldn't make the strong female knight feel weak and helpless for the first time in her life
>and she loves it.

Casters > martials.

>female
>knight
Pick one

In an RPG world, realistic things that make the world less fun can be ignored

>Autistic devotion to historical accuracy in a world where our history does not even slightly apply
>fun

pick one.

What's history got to do with it? Women are just too weak for combat roles. It would be silly to make one a knight

Besides, we all know everyone only includes them in things for fap fodder.

Drow are based on a real-world culture. Sort of. They're a gender-inverted version of the Mafia, at least in the Forgotten Realms - R.A. Salvatore did like 90% of the legwork in developing them, and he based them off of the Sicilian Mafia.

With liberal additions of sexual fetishism I hope

any elf that willingly bangs a human is a pedo.

having a human admit a crush on an adult elf would be like you having a 3 year old having a crush on you. You'd (hopefully) just laugh it off and say that's nice or something and ignore it. If elves were real I doubt they'd ever see humans potential mates for that reason alone. The sheer gap in experience, knowledge, and maturity would be incredibly large and end pretty much anything other than a casual friendship pretty quickly.

Pedo is a bit too much, since the intelligence between both at physical maturity isn't that great. But because of the difference in experience a comparison with hebephilia would be more apt.

This entirely depends on what kind of elves were talking here. In many settings elves are known to be much less fertile than humans, so while it might take an elf hundreds of years to reproduce with another elf, it could happen much faster and or more frequently with a human partner. So perhaps having a large family would be a good reason for the elf to be interested. The humans half elf children would also have much longer lives (presumably) so that would be very enticing