ITT we describe modern items from the point of view of a medieval fantasy setting

A wily wizard learned how to harness the power of the storm and lightning, storing it into small pieces of rare earths. He then struck a deal with the tiny faefolk, noting their insatiable hunger for these powerful crystals: they would live in a small house he constructed of special alchemical materials and metals. He would feed them these crystals, replacing them with fresh ones when the pixies had emptied the old ones; in return the wee folk would sing beautiful songs at the behest of the one who feeds them. Recordings of the songs are kept on shiny disks of faerie make, a child's hand span across and as flat as two pieces of parchment.

>So, I was cleaning this wizard's tower the other day, and he had this weird metal box with a glass door on the front, and when I put some scraps of food that the wizard had left lying around inside and fiddled with the runes on the front, it warmed the food up through some sorcery.

"You fools! These sentient creatures are too Dangerous! They look harmless and fragile, and that is to justify its domestic uses. However, it's nothing more than fabrications! Their body is sturdy and durable. They have the speed and force of Murder Machines!
Hear me out and prepare, because this reality is in Great Peril!"

Their ancestors built their abodes inside taverns, where they waited for the customers to offer some coin before singing. It would seem that time has refined their taste, since precious metals used to be enough to win their good favour and listen to their songs.

I sometimes imagine trying to explain modern technology to Benjamin Franklin.

These fantasies usually involve me googling shit and then failing to adequately explain to him just what the internet is or what I'm doing

Nice dubs?

Oh but you are mistaken, my friend. For before the wily wizard I mentioned figured out how to store small portions of the storm's power, the pixies would only be swayed to sing their songs by being offered larger houses and a constant and steady supply of the power. The faeries' bartering even went so far, that the people of old devised a network of tubes that would distribute the faerie ambrosia all over the known world, like the network of roads that is travelled by merchants in our day.

This.
Medieval people aren't retarded.

>I sometimes imagine trying to explain modern technology to Benjamin Franklin.
I wonder about the first TVs.
>Dude, I wanna build a box here, and it literally shows a scene from far away, it will be awesome!
>Holy hell, ur drunk my man. Time to go home.

Hey Ben, check this shit out:
What if we built a carriage

WITHOUT THE HORSES

hear me out man

NO HORSES and

Ben are you listening

A carriage with no horses and it will be able to go faster than a peregrine falcon, without getting tired, for 500 miles at a time

And here's the best part:

we'll fucking fuel it with dead dinosaurs!

So we have to go to Dinosaur Island and hunt a dinosaur every time we want to ride in the horseless carriage?
Do you know how long that trip is?

Well, at the time TV would've been 'it's like radio, but with picture!'

I feel like anything you could explain to Benny Boy, he'd be figuring out before the words left your mouth. It's far easier to reverse engineer the methodology behind extant tech than it is to conceive of new tech.

The hardest part would be explaining why we built the electric automobile in the 1840s, then discarded it for a power source that destroys the countryside, poisons the air, and has triggered resource wars, only to return to it 150 years later. Those very human, counter-intuitive reasons why technology develops the way it does instead of in a conceivable direction (iPhones instead of Dick Tracy watches).

Because batteries are shit.

"Wizards? Don't even get me started on those. Just the other day, i saw one take this weird, glowing slate from his pocket, poke it a few times and start talking to it like he'd talk to that young adventurous fella at the magic college, you know the lad, and not ten minutes after he's put the slate away does the guy walk around the corner! And the wizard says he took his time!"
"I know, right? You ever hear what happened to Palmora the Green-Thumbed? Some wizard said he wanted an "elfie" or something, holds up a slate, bright light flashes their faces and after he shows the slate to Palmora, the poor druid goes pale as a lich and runs off screaming about soul thievery! It ain't right, i tells ya..."
"Well, they have their uses. I asked one for the time, and he could tell exactly what it was just looking at his slate!"
"I heard Briney Botch-Fingers got caught confessing to that big heist uptown because a wizard used that slate to copy his voice making the confession."
"A wizzerd let me play wif 'is slate once. I' had dese colored candies an' you poked any cluster o' four an' they'd go poof and more fell from above, an' you'd get points for each cluster you made go poof. I' was fun!"
"Alright, alright, i get it, ye doffos. It can't be all bad. Still bloody unnatural if ye ask me..."

I've had fantasies of explaining modern computers and their ubiquity to both Alan Turing and Lady Lovelace, and highlight that none of this would be possible without them. Just to show them what they gave to mankind and what came out of it.

A literal roomba could well exist in fantasy setting. You're forgetting thins like portal fantasy (from modern earth to fantasy world), ancient advanved technology and aliens. All of those are pretty standard fare in fantasy settings and then there's science fantasy which is whole new ballgame.

>So now, you have all this amazing processing power that you can use to post nazi frogs on the internet. Isn't it marvelous?

Behold, the messengers from above! Watchers from on high! Dispensers of warnings and good tidings alike! As they fly across the heavens, can they truly be anything but angels?

Don't forget the strange ass forms

Fuck FUCK FUCK!!!

TOO MANY ANGELS!!!