Times the DM was a dick

There is nothing wrong with Monty Python.
There is something wrong with people who reference Monty Python more than once a month.
That is the difference.

>tfw, playing DnD, there is a one-in-20 chance of people acting retarded

Two in twenty.

>LAWLNAT20STORY

>Maybe this will get me on r/Veeky Forums XDDD

>fun is allowed, but only once per lunar cycle

Here it is:

>Pastry is teifling allergy, Orc billboard, a naga roost, a clip and me, a Pannier
>So they walk dragon the stanchions, and the locus is right around the corpuscle
>Roost hears something
>someone creeping up the stanchions behind them
>girlfriend curse cummerbund out for our spas
>Run from the mute cummerbund
>Nook says shore about the clip
>He also didn't get the hoarding
>Roost just sidecars at me
>DM gives me a wheat look
>NEar town pastry wipe, due to balk roots. My Paladin is only one lender, and on low heath.
>Everyone else is bleeding out
>BBEG "Stand dragon, stop finalist me, and I shall let you live. Join with me, and serve me, and I shall bring bad your beloved, >gifted with lightweight so she never has to leave you again."
>The rethink of the plebeians are silent
>Debut with globetrotters
>Phew
>The dick-assistant DM ain't having any of that
>I look at him
>I calmly polisher his "mistake"
>he becomes visibly upset, draws augury from everyone else
>Won't show it to anyone due to it bender shiny.
>sin in the rotunda
>sprinklers the squishy mentors of the pastry
>Clip puts up shirtfronts to defend them
>Misuse temporarily averted.
>HOWEVER, not the fashion will rangerquit
>Clip opens a dot
>Call bunion
>DM clarinets the clip catapult the spine
>Call bunion on that
>DM's faint is apostrophe-red

Wait, what?
Is this a neural network attempt at post writing? Is it a evolutionary step backwards of that poorly written 'DM forgot about the cleric, and so cleric saves the day" copypasta, the really unintelligible one that reads really similarly to this but with considerably less madness? Is this just some story written by someone whose sanity has gotten really close to zero? Is this the real, long term effects of Hypnotic Gate?

I'm pretty sure this is a derivation of the copypasta I mentioned. That being said, how many times has it been rewritten to make it more insane and unreadable? Give it a couple more rewrites and it will be indistinguishable from a random stream of words with the word "mistake" crammed part of the way down the post.

Weak and pathetic. Redo this bait and have it on my desk before the week is out.

Just once. Just fucking once. Can we please, for the love of God, have ONE SESSION without a Holy Grail reference? You could at least reference Life of Brian or the Cheese Shop, or literally anything else! I swear, if I hear one more retard say something about elderberries, I'm going to kill them.

Yes, just like werewolves and ovulation.

I think we all need to admit that Monty Python isn't funny. Everyone treats this as though it's a cardinal sin to say but when you hear people go on about how funny it is they only ever reference the same 4 or 5 sketches. Just like the Beatles, Citizen Kane and Queen people hold Monty Python up as some irrefutable perfection of its genre. The average """"""""fan"""""""" of Monty Python has likely only seen Holy Grail at most and MAYBE Life of Brian (read: athiest circejerk) on top of that. Somehow Holy Grail found itself as one of the gatekeepers of 'nerd cred' and so now every two bit pseudo intellectual I invited to my games parrots out some le flesh wound! XD joke or elderberries gag because they think it's required watching. What's even more insulting is that they only ever make these same references as they're the only decent parts in an otherwise forgettable film but point this out to them and watch them sperg out and insist the whole thing is a masterpiece. Seriously go back and watch the entirety of their filmography and sketches. All things considered you'll only find about 10% of good material and half of that has been memed so many times they've lost all comedic punch. Monty Python was funny decades ago but not any more. The humor is dated and their lolsorandum antics were funny not on their own, but simply because they contrasted with other forms of entertainment at the time. It's time to stop putting MP on a pedestal and get to making fresh jokes and humor rather than stagnating comedy and fantasy with the idea that it's required watching and still holds up. It doesn't.

>game is dying
>needs an upping of the drama
>player agrees to let gm kidnap his pc for a while
>drama successfully upped
>gm does nothing with that plotpoint for months
>pc finally returns in big reveal
>huge plot implications
>major character shit imminent
>gm lets pc die for stupid reasons
>no resolution for anyone involved
>everyone is pissed
>gm insists he did nothing wrong
>game predictably dies

It's been years and I'm still not sure what the GM expected.

>DM rolls twelve 20's in a row and you didn't think he was cheating
even for a fake story this is dumb. And what did you just discover Monty Python yesterday?

>be me
>playing CoC
>we kill bunch of cultitsts and innocent people, including some nobles, almost total party kill, I'm the lone survivor
>I am fucking distraught by killing the innocencts, even if it was for the greater good
>police catch me
>well, the game was fun, at least I can do some redemption arc for my character as an epilogue, it just seems fitting
>on the trial I admit to everything and in my angst I sincerely thank and apologize to everyone involved
>maybe with my confession they will just shoot me
>I ask for the highest penalty the law provides
>gm asks for a roll
>kinda too low, it seems they are willing to let me live
>I ask for a reroll
>this repeats a few times, we finally settle for six months
>ok, maybe I will get shanked in prison
>BUT SUSPENDED

Veeky Forums, what do?

According to this, if i wanna avoid the death penalty i have to ask for it and roll low? Shit sounds dumb what was the dm thinking?