Good day and welcome to Veeky Forums, the board where everything's made up and the experience points don't matter, that's right! The experience is pointless because we only get participation awards these days...
Today we'll be playing a game called Scenes from a Hat: Veeky Forums Edition! We carefully collected and randomized suggestions from fellow elegan/tg/entlemen them in this hat.
Anthony Sanchez
Bad things to find in your Bag of Holding.
Ian White
The remains of your pet troll's lunch.
Samuel White
A tribe of midgets that worship whatever you put in there.
Alexander Cook
The half-suffocated pet monkey of a deceased party member.
Gabriel Wilson
Pick up lines of the Planeswalkers.
Nathaniel Bell
Do you have a portal to elemental plane of water in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
Thomas Edwards
The elemental plane of water won't be the only wettest place tonight.
Jeremiah Bailey
Hey, let me and my magic wand take you out to Elysium.
Jaxson Fisher
Hey do you have a portal to the elemental plane of fire in your pocket or are you just that hot?
Jeremiah Young
Cologne advertisements for illithids.
Ian Gutierrez
It actually does smell like a squid!
Joshua Ramirez
... And you will never guess what you ate yesterday.
Noah Gutierrez
Bring that fresh brain smell wherever you go.
Grayson Ortiz
Smells like a Teen Spirit.
Aaron Anderson
Critical successes at mundane tasks.
Nathan Butler
You shitpost so hard they give you your own containment board.
Gavin Ross
>You cook those rations so good for a moment you forget where you are..... >Then reality comes crashing back in
Sebastian Hall
>When you chop wood your axe hits something hard inside the piece of wood. Upon further investigation you find an enchanted ring that someone had hidden in a hollow long ago.
Leo Reed
>you brush your teeth so well that if people look at them they break down in tears
Benjamin Gomez
I actually know a guy from discord that forced us to do that
Matthew Allen
>you awaken to find yourself clad in gold bars, despite being in the inn, apparently they're yours
Joshua Hill
The powerful cut cleaves the pie in two from end to end, revealing it's stuffing and spilling them on the ground before it. The pie is now quite dead. The area and the pie are now awash with stuffing. For the rest of the dinner anyone moving within four meters of the pie must make Agility test or fall over.
Evan Russell
You tie your shoe laces so well it would now require Hard dexterity roll or Very Hard strength roll to remove the shoes.
Oliver Wood
Critical success! Your piss cleanly slices the toilet in half like a watter jet cutter.
Ian Clark
...
Sebastian Adams
You roll 21 on d20.
Gabriel Thomas
The BBEG goes on holiday.
Ayden Collins
A portable hole. I bet I could part your waterveil for its awaken cost. >look at that drider >now back to me >back at that drider >back to me >thankfully, she isn't me, but if they used Wizened Thoughts cologne they could smell like me With a great heave you lift the wicker handbasket laden with foodstuffs. With great haste you make your way to the picnic, for you know that while you still have twenty minutes to rendezvous, it's never a bad idea to be early to a social gathering with your trusted comrades. Quickly, rally the homosexuals, now is our chance to strike!
Ryder Walker
What do you mean we can't take over "The Citadel of Ultimate Evil (tm)" because he's using it as an interdimensional camper van?
Jeremiah Miller
What the rogue is actually doing right now.
Charles Johnson
The party learns that skeletons are actually pretty cool guys when not compelled by lich to bone everyone.
Evan Kelly
opening up the baroness's "chests"
Liam White
Pleasuring mimic monster girl with his trusty set of lock-picks.
Carter Rivera
>I sneak up and stab her from behind. No, no, with my other "sword".
Ayden Hernandez
Stealing wizard's spellbook to use as a toilet paper.
Justin Davis
Showing the cleric why the ladies enjoy his Fast Hands skill
Leo Flores
Put a pixie NPC in there once. Forgot to take them out after
Michael Russell
Stealing 300Gp worth of virginities from local orphanage.
Oliver Davis
at the bar Detecting Traps
Nathaniel Gutierrez
Things you can say about the bard, but not about your girlfriend.