Running weekly game

>Running weekly game
>Characters emerge from windy plains, move through a tunnel to the other side of a mountain range
>Desert now, time for desert adventures
>One player reveals his "Akshually" card
>Takes up twenty minutes showing me proof that real world biomes don't work like that
>I tell him to just accept it and keep playing
>He hasn't shut the fuck up about my improvised geography since

Look him dead in the eye and say "it's magic I ain't gotta explain shit"

I see you got trapped with an autist in your player group. You have to weed them out early user. The easiest way is the potato test. Mention potatos somewhere in the first game session, like have a tavern serving them, and if no one spergs out, you're good. Autists are only going to cause you misery the longer you allow them in your group.

I hope you took a dump on his chest.

I'm retarded. Can you explain this to me?

They already know who the autist is. The entire exercise is pointless unless you want to find another one which is unlikely, we don't travel in packs. Too much eye contact and need for small talk.

If he keeps going, start taking away his class abilities because they wouldn't work in real life.

There were no potatoes in ye olden times

Potatoes weren't eaten by anyone but protospics until Sir Francis Drake (peace be unto him) brought them back from unga bunga land sometime in the late 1500s. Well after the days of hitting people with swords, and into the days of dakka.

That's pretty amazing, thanks Anons.