With all these minion threads(skeletons vs golems) its pretty obvious that both sides have downsides...

...

half orcs, obviously

...

...

...

Here's some qualities I could think up
>loyal(cultist loyal)
>perhaps evolves to suit the wizard
>can be different power level to suit the job.

Experiment one might be a nice minion now that I think about it.

Lolis

Stop

Hydra/Orc hybrids, something along those lines. They'll be dumb as a bag of hammers, as solid as a brick shithouse, regenerate wounds, and be naturally inclined towards violence. If you can ensure their loyalty towards you, they should be a suitable savage horde for your purposes.

What kind of minion we looking at?

Strength? morale?

A willing human populace, of course. Treat 'em right and they'll do all the work for you, and as a bonus they can occasionally pop out some pretty capable wizards to do some heavier lifting. It also helps that they're a lot better at problem solving than most artificial beings.

>simulacra

A village is a good idea.

They would defy you.

I'll raise you goblins on that
>smaller
>higher breeding rates and less food
>built for casting
>cunning

Obviously, a vast horde of goblins to serve as slave laborers/cannon fodder, a few thousand kobolds to serve as trapsmiths and light infantry, and a large mob of armored, roid-raged ogres to serve as heavy infantry. For my personal safety, a few fake copies of myself scattered throughout my tower, guarded by summoned elementals, rune-forged sandstone golems, and elite kobold knights while I ready an ambush to assault whichever adventurers manage to defeat my fake copies should prove more than enough.

Kobolds, duh!

Why not just make people? Grow 'em in big vats full of chemicals. Then you don't have to convince anyone of jack shit.

>shotguns that shoot teeny tiny wizards that explode when they hit their target

>will rape you in your sleep

I prefer non-government entities rather than strictly single-race options. Gather a school of apprentices, followers, and people who're looking for simple, low-level magic solutions to their problems.

Work off of a mix of providing warlock pacts, tutelage, resources and services in return for building up a repartee of favors, karma, and influence.

Why create a race when there's plenty already abound to network into a conglomerate?

Shadow clones.
Say what you want about Naruto, but he's one of the most effective super villains in existence.

> implying that isn't a good thing

There are very few people in the world who can beat a DC 40 lock check

And even fewer can beat a magical boosted DC 40 lock check

Naurto ninjas are just wizards called something else.

Even jojo's pretends to have some balance.

Tulpas, of my own imagining, separated from my mind and given semi-existent forms of their own.

>We...

I stopped watching that shitty show years ago. How did he become a supervillain?

By the end, he had infinite power, was ruling the world, and anyone who had ever stood in his way was now either working as his ally, or dead.

skeleton golems

That's so stupid.

I'm so glad i didn't watch that

Rev up those rape factories, time to start making Half-Ogres.

Highly intelligent and manipulative kittens and puppies that can talk. Oh, and they have venom sacs like snakes.

Best minion race? Anime girls, of course.

"Pretends" being the key word.

...

Create a meme that pushes your goals forward. That way you don't even need to be the overlord. Society itself will do the work for you. Finally a reason to master enchantment.

Thrulls were this. That backfired. BONUS POINTS for all the RPers in the other threads, Thrulls were created using a mixture of Necromancy and Alchemy after someone got a hard-on for Thalon mixing Herbomancy and Alchemy to create Thallids. Which also backfired.

Nah. Vat-growns have weird shit with their souls sometimes, and lack a lot of the cultural knowledge you get from an existing group. They tend to be pretty socially inept, and not all that prone to heroism.

Intelligence shapeshifter mages with the capacity for radical self-improvement, but which also had an iron-clad core of their personality forcing them to not only what I tell them to do, as I mean it, but also to follow my volition and possible future will.

I'm not sure what I would make, but I do know I'd take it too far and create something I couldn't control or put down.

Wait, are you raping the ogre women or letting the ogres rape our women?

By that screencap I think that poster was referencing, the latter. The mothers do not survive.

Lizarmen caste society

Old ones pls go

I would make dogs that have human skin and human faces but the bone structure of dogs.

Define godly wizard?

I need some kind of restrictions

Mimic knights.

...

Woah; I forgot about that game.

...

both

Level 20 wizard.

How built is up to you.

The RAW infinite recursion wishes and other stuff like that is patched out but that shouldn't mean that much

Only if you design them that way
As god wizard, my warforged will be made strong and independent black women who dont need no man

Here's an idea

You charge 25 gp for a 1 HD minion(probably some kind of slime)

Then you make it so that the minion improves with the amount of wealth you feed it. This way a cheap wizard could spend 25 gold on a wimpy monster for bookkeeping or whatever. A wizard who wants a stronger minion could spend cash and upgrade one he has, or just buy a stronger one.

Think of a minion ditto.

You make them loyal to the wizard(maybe has to give blood to hatch egg) growable(levels and size) and improbable(stats)

Say I wanted a fake succubus to have as a secretary. I buy a 5 HD egg, feed it gold to improve its cha and int and boom, succubus secretary.

That picture is from the videogame Arcanum, which features a subquest about the Gnomish Conspiracy in a not so subtle reference to the Jewish Conspiracy. During this subquest you find out that the wealthy and influential gnomes, have set up secret rape factories where human women (random whores and beggars, but also the wives and daughters of political rivals, including the wife of a king they had assassinated when he came too close to exposing them) are constantly being raped by ogres in order to produce half-ogre offspring. The women usually do not survive giving birth, so a constant stream of new victims is needed to maintain it all. The half ogre babies, incredibly strong but also dumb as fuck and naturally docile, are then raised to be bodyguards and laborers for the gnomes. You find out that pretty much every Gnome in the game is either in on this or at least silently condoning it

When you try to expose this conspiracy, you're basically told "go ahead, nobody will believe you anyway" and that's the end of the quest. The gnomes destroy the one site you discovered so all evidence is gone, and you're made to understand that "exposing" the Gnomish Conspiracy without any evidence will only make you look like a crazy racist and make people more inclined to dismiss any evidence that does show up as insane anti-Gnome propaganda.

I'm currently working on this idea so don't let this thread die

It doesn't matter what I make, as long as they have massive daddy issues.

Top tier

My godly cleric ghaele eladrin made a race of chaotic good albino gnolls that lived in the sandy wastes of mithardir. Not so much a minion race, but it was neat. They were also large size.

I like this idea a lot. I might expand the system to all class followers.
>25 gold gets you a peasant
>30 gold gets you a peasant with a pitchfork
Etc.

>Big E posts on Veeky Forums.jpeg

Bone Golems

WUZ
the crystal gems!

Girl genius style Jaegers

Or Pacific rim style Jaegers. Either works, really

It's goldy wizard not bitch ass conjurer.
The clones work like the trinity.

I feel like the crystal gems aren't utility enough for a minion.

They are inherently non-human, and built for combat.

Something like a stand which has loyality, vast potential for growth, and utility, is far better suited for use as a minion.

>just wizards called something else.
I'm not going to lie if they would have just been wizards, I probably would have watched the show. I couldn't stand all the ninja this jutsu that shit.

If all the edgy ninjas where wizards and witches it would have been 200% better.

Especially glittered old wizards

Even young wizards would have been fine. I just want to too shout "Wizard Battle!" before every combat

By the godly level any wizard worth his void salts has discovered immortality. So while it's tempting to craft millions of neigh indestructible T-1000 golems as minions I'm gonna go with something that isn't going to require so much rare material and replacement every couple centuries. To that end it'd have to be something alive and capable of replenishing Their own ranks, learning new things and adapting to changing conditions. At the same time something so versitile and clever as humans could be a liability in the long run. Self relyence is the enemy of subservience so a life form talored to serve would be an ideal place to start. Enter the dog. Shaped by thousands of years of living with man, living to serve their human alphas in exchange for everything they require to thrive. Now a dog is I'll shaped for a great many tasks required of a minion and not smart enough to act autonomously and carry out my will without supervison. So first they would need to be uplifted and reshaped for tool use. This new race would likely be smart enough to ask some basic philosophical questions, which i would answer truthfully. You are here because i created you. Your purpose is to thrive, multiply and serve when required. Do these things and from me all that you require will flow. I will give you weapons, armor, food, shelter, security, mates and the dignity of honor should you fall in my service. I have lifted you up from common beasts and i require but one thing, when i call, you come, ready to serve.

here we gooooooo!

kondra, Koloss, and inquisitors

And thus, kobolds were born.

So I'm a Godly (important) wizard and Skeletons and Golems are insufficient, which I'm going to assume is because I need minions capable of lateral thinking and not spooking the shit out of everyone and ruining my public relations.

So I want minions that are:
Intelligent enough to do what I want them to do, not what I TELL them to do
Disarming enough that I'm not immediately declared the horrible necromancer creating abominations
Capable of performing tasks; so they have hands and legs standard loadout, extras optional
Aren't going to murder me and steal my trinkets, eat my heart for power, sell my tower's deed to another wizard, etc.

What I don't actually need is for them to be is particularly competent at combat since I'm, again, a GODLY wizard.

So the actual answer would be unionized Halflings, but if I'm stuck actually 'Making' a race then catgirls.

i forgot some things
slimes have the ooze type, they lack the mindless and blind qualities but possess all other qualities.

slimes are born from orbs of slime, and these orbs are only obtainable by the wizard who made them. they apparently lack any way to reproduce by themselves.

Slime eggs are inert until you place blood on the egg, the minion is bonded to the owner of the blood.

youtube.com/watch?v=ZJBLmBMy50A

I'm feeling zerg fed with sliver essence, just to pour on the apocalypse. Queen of Blades pattern servants for direct service and the 8 pool zerg rush would be insane if each powered each other. Best part, clarify to any opponents that if you kill me, you unshackle my army with a final order for vengeance. GG no re.

Morty(s) and/or Jerry(s)?

Slivers. Gotta love them buffs.

I was thinking more Dogboys from Rifts but i see your point and would find that outcome acceptable. Dogbolds are a cute

10/10 would go find plane and chill out with

What about a sentient meme that makes people fanatical to you?

Now we wait for the End Step

How do you feel about monkies?

It's not like things went badly for the last group of wizards to try that out.

Do you ever think a planeswalker could be a sliver Druid?

Thicc women with huge tiddies