*blocks your path*

''Well shit''

>talking to the Lady
>not getting mazed

pick one.

...

I wish Slugbox would draw all the other Praetors.

>First off I'm not against the Lady. However...
Good luck dealing with Sigil not having anything to keep it in check.
Plenty of Planar hubs seem to do this. There is a rather large list.

And ofcourse that is an advantage too. If you don't LIKE the Lady of Pain, there is a laundry list of other places to go. Go There!

1d4chan.org/wiki/Neutronium_golem
1d4chan.org/wiki/Pun-Pun

Hey there lady!

Heard you had some Vecnas in your Armory. Need me to handle that for you because you can't seem to?

Why is she even acknowledging I exist?

>Pun-pun

Step 1: Maze Pun-pun. No save (no it's not the Maze spell)
Step 2: Set maze's exit portal to require a portal-key of divinity to leave.

Wow. That was easy to fix. And that's even in the RAW.

The Mists of Ravenloft would take Pun-Pun and drop him in his own pocket world to rule over before the kobold even cast his first plane-shift- or during even.

" don't see what the big deal is", said the minotaur with a lantern. "Can someone direct me to the portal to the prime material plane?"

So in other words, you use homebrew stats for the Lady and let your players fight it.

Fag.

>As a PC and not an NPC.
>*Knowledge roll*
Huh shit. Lady of Pain herself. But I haven't broken any Sigilain laws... sooo...

>Walk underneath her. THROUGH her shadow even!

>Continue your pleasant walk unharmed.

>The REAL deadly part is how the DM cooks up some plot hooks based on other people witnessing this.

I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit her to pass over me and through me. And when she is gone past I will turn the inner eye to see her path. Where the Lady has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.

> THROUGH her shadow even!

So a failed knowledge roll then.

Pun-pun has a divine rank of 30 and plus-functionally-infinity to all stats and skills, He can craft portal-keys of divinity at will.

...

The shadow thing is a bit of hyperbole, i figure, because, since she just kinda goes *wherever* she wants in Sigil, her shadow must fall over people that are, you know, *underground* or *indoors* or *not staring at the nine-plus meter tall thing covered in pointy bits in the sky" and they are alright, usually.
Still, not the ideal thing to do, but i'd like to watch him go...

Why Hellllloooo~ trembling mortals!

Scared of your local Metropolis's menacing muted oppressive monarch? May I interest you in a new locale of wonder and amazement? From which you can be easily convened to your nearest quest destination or designated qaes vendor?

We- the HUMBLE servants of the grand consortium- can extend an offer with these coupons for a free "introductory-arrive" to the most glorious destination in all of the multiverse: The Grand City of Union!

One per visitor!

Please do not just take MY honest and true word for it! GO see for yourselves! And while you are there please feel free to peruse the markets, shop, and bazaar for anything your heart could possibly desire.

Stop moving and spin in place. I have no path now so she cannot walk across it nor block it.

He didn't break nirn's metaphysics, he touched them inappropriately and without concent

If you're not doing anything to piss her off, maybe it's just mildly uncomfortable, like pins-and-needles after you cut off your circulation for a bit. Lady of Pins-and-Needles wouldn't have the same ring though.

You know the Lady instagibbed more than one god, right?

Look at all those newfags worshiping her. They're about to get Mazed on, hard.

No statblock needed.

Just a little elbow grease, some street smarts and a few of the right spells and bam, no more Slut of Pain.

Yes, but Pun-Pun also has higher stats than *multiple* gods. Especially *wisdom*. Pun-Punk knows better than to fight the LoP, so he's probably happy he got off with such a light punishment as a "maze", and will be finding the next portal out, doesn't actually matter where it goes... just so he and his god-tier familiar can go there.

Ok. Except he can't he specifically needed to go through a process that involving his horde (or singular squirrel depending on method) of nut-pun the squirrel. And he can't do that when he is alone in a Maze and unable to gate in anything.

Also. Fine. Change the original post to Pun-Puns personal divinity to leave then.

Also
>craft portal-keys of divinity
It makes me think you don't understand what a portal-key is or can be, but I'm just going to assume you actually do know how they work and that was just a typing slip.

Whelp, someone else whose intestines will be spread around the streets like bunting.

If the Dwemer had just let go and sailed out of the dream on Numidium like they intended, it all would've been fine. But they couldn't let go. It wasn't enough that they were right, but that they had to show that everyone else was wrong.
And that quite literally made 'em into a metaphysics raping machine.

*causes ass-pain in people who can't handle things existing that they can't kill*

All of the faggoty things you faggots listed would be instantly erased from all perceivable realities, no saves, no hope, no death, just fucking nothing. She's the physical manifestation of all space time and adjacent, unknowable realities. You aren't fighting her because all your seeing is non point. A physical representation that is a trick of perception to correlate uncertainty itself to the mortal, or immortal mind.

That sounds like a cool session, user. Me and my players ran a campaign where we convinced Lloth to become an exterminator and had to fight Santa Claus because he kept stealing toys from children, and we made

Pun Pun's existence assumes that he is already set-up, and has performed all of his buffs before getting involved.

He's got an arbitrarily high number to his crafting modifiers. Technically, (And Pun-Pun is nothing if not the living example of "technically"), he can craft everything from any D&D book, because D20 had the bright idea of unifying the crafting mechanics and equally providing additional modifiers for things like, having no tools, having no raw materials, etc.

So he could craft a divine portal key, and then just shed his ranks in divinity, scuttle out of the resulting portal, regain his divine ranks, and flee sigil.

Strike those last two steps, reverse them.

Are you a lawyer?

(You) have some weird issues and insecurities, don't you

I chuckled.

Can't comment about the other ones, but Brass God could prove at least a nuisance for her, given that she is a fundamental force like time and the fact that he fucks time in the ass

So sayth your headcanon?

>The shadow thing is a bit of hyperbole, i figure, because, since she just kinda goes *wherever* she wants in Sigil, her shadow must fall over people that are, you know, *underground* or *indoors* or *not staring at the nine-plus meter tall thing covered in pointy bits in the sky" and they are alright, usually.

Nah, the Lady appears and disappears at will so She's not a constant danger, but even "innocent" people who get crossed by Her shadow get flayed. That's why everyone with sense runs away when they see Her.

I pray to the lady for mercy and show her the holy symbol and "Church of the Lady" T-shirt I made.

I find a different path.

So sayth the people who made the Lady of Pain.

You don't fight the LoP.
You die.

So sayeth core. Granted, they don't explain lore wise what she is directly, but it's the only logical explanation for in a setting where elder gods and arch devils are statted, and she isn't. The literal primordial lords of existence have stats when she doesn't, ergo she is beyond having stats. She is a concept, and isn't real. Or to put more directly, she is all that is real or could be real. An abstraction of the immutable nature of reality itself. Possibility given the illusion of ego.

Incorrect, she is beyond forces. She is that which contains them. She is that which contains that which contains forces. Time and space are just another medium that she exists outside of. The Brass God would only be fleetingly aware of her existence, and would consider her projection to be anomaly beyond its perception.

The only way to actually kill the lady of pain would be to alter reality and give her stats. To do that you would have to hide several cults across the planes in places she would not be able to access to convert her into a deity (Something she directly tries to stop). Once she is converted, you kill her.

Nope, only the illusion you projected on her is killed. It might have some affect on her projection, but ultimately it is something irrelevant for an entity that exists outside of universal constants.

Oh, uh...I wasn't planning on going that way anyway.

No she doesn't.

There's really no guarantee any of that would work at all, let alone work as intended

I never understood the purpose of the Lady of pain.
In game terms I mean.
How am I as the GM expected to use her?
As a cockblocker for overconfident players/characters? A railroading device? Just some Tom Bombadil-level "it can't be explained"-bullshit?

She's there to insure that Sigil stays neutral. That's pretty much it.

She's a immovable block to avoid players to try to take over/destroy Sigil or some bullcrap like that. She's just a plot device.

So just an excuse/tool to keep the setting from getting annihilated?

OK, I guess.

I'm probably a too leniend DM then. I don't see why I'd not let my players try to take over Sigil.
They'd probably fail at it since their plots and plans are usually faily low-brow, but I'd let them give it a go.

In more specific terms it's probably so no particular faction monopolized a city with portals to everywhere. There's probably some definition of "taking over" that might not really rustle her jimmies

I can imagine what /pol/ would claim such a takeover would be.

What the fuck were we doing that warranted the incredibly violent personification of spacetime to step out from Sigil to stop us? Why aren't we yet removed from existence? Was it the porn the cleric drew of her? Does she want more? So many questions.

>No statblock needed.
if it has no stats you cant kill it

>if it has no stats
it can be ignored.

>Mazed
Nope, they're close enough that they're getting flayed.

>ignoring the walking TPK
bad idea

It has no stats. It has no effect.

He has no stats so he's not dangerous right?

She's a cool narrative device. A part of the setting, also mazing is cool as shit. Killing her is analogous to destroying the setting.

You're supposed to ignore the Lady of Pain, though.
You see, OP is doing it wrong. She should never block anyone's path. Player characters are beneath the Lady of Pain's notice. She is busy maintaining the nexus of the multiverse as a stable neutral ground, and doesn't give a single damn about what mortals are scurrying about in it.

Unless they're faggots. Like the Harmonium.

theres a difference between ignoring and acting as if its not there

Are these idiots worshipping her?

If you ever run a high level campaign, where your players end up making factions, cults, and what not.
Or even ascend to demigodhood, and keep on going. At some point, they might decide its a good idea to take over a plane.

So instead of making Sigil a place you can take over, the ruler of Sigil is just a convoluted form of party kill, to deny such a thing possibility.

if they did, she'd have already killed them, would she not?
it's probably just a bunch of beggars, would explain their shitty clothes

Yeah, I don't think there's any rules against asking her directly for stuff. She'll probably just ignore you, but you have to have a major pair just to go near what is the equivalent of a living black hole.

Wrong version bro.

Yeah, unless you are a transdimensional intelligence that can actually perceive the universe for what it actually is.

>archmagi ever actually interacting with the material universe
INSTANTLY fucking annihilated by rival archmagi for looking away from the great game for a femtosecond

>craft everything [Portal-Key]
I am well, well aware of what Pun-pun can do.

You are attempting a RAW argument but seem to lack the basic understand for what you are arguing.

Go read a planescape book, or the 3.5 MoPs? It might be in there. Figure out what I am talking about when I say "Portal-Key" then after you have read some basics and are actually equipped to argue this we can try this again. Now run along and do some reading child.

Man. I still argue Pun-pun CAN'T get divinity
Infinite stats? and "near" all abilities? Can't argue, pretty black and white. Divine ranks? No

>Why?
Cause he gets it from the Pazuzu wish trick.
>So?
Pazuzu is a Demon Lord. Demon lords do not possess divine ranks in the standard D&D world (Your homebew games may vary I guess), and Divine ranks can't be granted, EVEN through wish or other like magics, unless the granter has ranks themselves.

Just flat out: It's not an option.

It's just a means to actually attempt something like that. In theory the real one would die if done correctly. No guarantee though.

More importantly how do you make sure a nexus point isn't taken over by gods or fiends?
The fiends would love to take over the place as it would mean victory in the blood war
The Lady is some sort of demigod or whatever who has changed by taking in the essence of Sigil i.e. she is unique like the way Anubis is now

Or don't do that because this conversation is gayer than a three dollar bill.

Pun Pun gets his Divine Ranks from god-clones he creates from the Ice Assassin spell

>The Plane Below: Secrets of the Elemental Chaos suggests that Ygorl actually sprang into being the moment the multiverse finally died and has been perceiving time backwards ever since, so that the past is the future to him, and his "death" will be some time in the distant past. He is thus patient in his attempts to spread entropy, because he remembers the time when entropy claims everything, and regards it as inevitable.
Already won.

Thread is the ghey.

*humiliates you and gets away with it*

Found the dirty threeaboo.

PUT THAT SHIT AWAY BERK BEFORE YOU GET US BOOKED BY THE SWORD!

truly /ourgod/

According to Cook, she's entirely for narrative flavor. If the players ever see her, it's only to increase the weirdness and wonder of the setting.

One of the cooler theories I always enjoyed is that she's basically a mentally insane Power, and Sigil is her cell room. Within she is literally all powerful, but she can never leave it's walls.

He got his ass handed to him by a vampire before his ass got scattered across the planes.

>Yes, but Pun-Pun also has higher stats than *multiple* gods

I thought rule 0 for deities in the D&D universe was only avatars got stat blocks, while deities themselves had none.

God damnit I love this place