10 sessions in

>>He will die alone and unloved
>>He will own at least 6 cats over his lifetime
He will die surrounded by hungry cats

Sauce?

kill yourself

How fucking new are you?

That guy is cool and a true gamer.

>10 years in
>he still doesn't know his to hit bonus
>he still confuses his damage bonus and attack bonus
>other players know his bonuses and can't even see his sheet like he can

Fixed to accurately portray a current player of mine

Bait,
Bait never changes.

The guy who's still whining about nobody liking 4e, or the guy with the theoretical 6 cats? Neither seems like a shining example of anything good in particular

>Playing for almost a year together
>He still can't grasp aimed shots
>He still forgets dodging takes fatigue points
>He still ponders for at least 10 minutes about his moves, always changing mind at least few times
>He still can't figure out situational modifiers, always charging blindly

same party
>Playing for over a year
>He still tries to throw a hatchet at everything and everyone
>He still forgets it has a range of 15 meters since forever with his ST
>He still tries to aim his throws, making already impossible actions even worse

same party
>Playing for over a year
>She still doesn't remember about armour divisor
>She still asks if she can get a better rifle than her custom-made special
>She still thinks being hit is equal with being instantly dead
>She still didn't rank up that Spotting, despite being party's eyes and ears
>She still think vintage point is an universal bonus
>She still panics if horses are involved in the scenario due to a phobia

In the entire party there was only another guy other than me who wasn't incompetent with numbers and rules, while in the same time was also an absolutely epic-tier role-player.
That's why I snatched him for another group I've assembled in the background and it's fun, while those three stooges still torture our former GM

Last time I was "on times" with what's hot and popular in anime, it was very early 00s.

I think you misunderstand the nature of why he said that

Your a fucking idiot.

Boku no pico

you're
kill yourself

>thatguy plays a broken 3rd party character
>dm somehow okays it
>proceeds to break game and "forgets" his character mechanic wast suppose to be doing insane damage all at once
>FOR OVER A YEAR
>oops lol
>gets away scott free
>learn about this after the fact

fuck you. you know who you are, you cheating bastard. this is why i dont even play magic with you because you cheat, even with newer players who dont know all the rules. you are scum.

ITT: DMs who don't know how to train their players properly.

I had a group of six 100% new players start my campaign. 1 month in we still had to halt the game on every roll because people were trying to roll d6 to attack and couldn't figure shit out.
So start of session 6, I sat everyone down, went through rolls. And explained, if you remember how to do this stuff yourself, I'll be handing out in-game bonuses (BONUSES are key. make the players believe they are getting something extra for doing well. NOT being penalized for playing poorly).
ONE FULL SESSION LATER. Everything is fine. Once the munchkin was finding 50 extra gp a couple times (and I would say "you find X with your investigation. And with a proper roll like that you also were able to spot just a couple extra coins tucked into a corner that would have been hard to spot"). And the min/maxer found they could squeeze out a couple extra damage on a hit by figuring out how to do it themselves. They sorted everything out.

Now the game goes smooth.

>bribing your players to remember their rolls

genius

I've seen new players quickly get a full understanding of mechanics from reading shit before the game and old players that still don't understand basic shit. It really just boils down to the player in question actually giving a fuck about the game

>positive reinforcement works better than negative reinforcement
>genius
Shame it's so rarely seen in the education system at large.

This is pretty smart. Treat your players like less loyal and less cute dogs, with all the positive reinforcement that implies.

They're both necessary. There's a reason that the concept is referred to as "the carrot and the stick". The carrot alone breeds entitlement, the stick alone breeds resentment.

What if they actually are loyal and cute?

That'd be the ideal user, but we can't always work with ideals.

>It really just boils down to the player in question actually giving a fuck about the game

It 100% does
but bribes/positive reinforcement make it easier to give a fuck about the game. If you think the DM is just going to correct everything and baby your rolls, you will never remember anything. But if you think you'll get something extra, you'd be amazed how quickly people will pick things up.
And as the DM, you have the power to enforce this. Give the barbarian a shit load of dex saves until they can do Danger sense (or even remember they have it) properly. And if they remember to do danger sense, and do it properly, cut them some slack on a pass, or cut off some damage.
Once this becomes second nature to them. You can enforce it regularly.

I find training your party to be super valuable in all areas. If they aren't doing investigations properly. Have them miss things and have to go back. If they attack too much, have them get fucked up and get caught/punished. If one player is stealing, give your players the chance to have magical containers that lock better, or magical perception items to spot thieves.

>So start of session 6,
You do that shit during session 1, after they had their cherries popped during session 0 and now can no longer claim being "new". Just make sure it never goes into any other direction than positive feedback (so no fucking punishing and harsh tone).
Like training a puppy.

Other than that - I'm doing "your" shit for years and it works

well to be be fair, the cats won't be hungry for long

There is one thing that no amount of positive reinforcement is going to fix, however:
If you have party made out of people paranoid about getting their characters killed. Literally no way around this. You won't make it combat-heavy for them, since they are clearly not enjoying this (and neither do I as a GM). You can't cut them more slack than you are cutting already. You can't remove combat either (well, you can, depends on scenario and campaign, but that's not the point I'm making here), because when combat eventually DO happen, they will be 10 times more afraid of it, since they are even more reassured their PCs are made out of glass.
They don't need to be even bad at this shit, they can know the rules, they can be min-maxed even, they roleplay through pretty much anything... and still people like that fucking freeze in combat, scared shitless about dying, even if they can take a dragon on their chest and bash it to death.

To not play cat and mouse any further, I've got this issue with my current party. Out of 5 people, there is one guy that is not afraid of combat bits. Ironically, he comes with the weakest and least combat-oriented character. Everyone else pretty much stutter their actions in combat, making this uncomfortable for them and problematic for me to run, because there is only this many scenarios I can make completely combat-free before hitting the wall. I can't even have a good old dinner brawl without them getting tangled in their paranoia about dead PCs.

Thatsthejoke.jpg

I have a player like that in my party, and I found two things that have helped me bring them into combat more.
1. Ambushes with low CR shit:
I've sprung a few ambushes on the party, and I usually get the low level fodder CR creatures to appear close and focus on the person afraid of dying. After a couple of these types of combat where they are forced to fight, but massacure the low CR fodder, they have come to realize they aren't made of glass and can take a hit.

2. Magical safety net
I have given them some magical items that have "get out of jail free" properties. like not going to 0hp the first time cold damage would knock you out, or get a free dash on a hit. So they can get out if they are overwhelmed and afraid.

Both of these seem to work well.

actually looks like it could be funnily enough

You're about 6 sessions past the point where I would say "look guy, you can either figure this shit out or you can find a new game" and 2 sessions past the part where I'd say "look, I told you what you need to do and you didn't do it. Maybe FATE is more your level."

Have tried it.
Does not help.

user, trust me, the game you pick doesn't matter. It's the attitude. I've been running FATE for this entire summer for different groups. One had three guys in it (out of five) who never learned the fucking difference between each skill and how improving your abilities works.
Let me repeat that: I had players who couldn't grasp FATE rules for over 2 months of regular games.

And I'm normally repelled by BDSM and domination

>guy in my group still forgets which dice to roll sometimes
>he's been playing d&d 5e for 3 years at the very least now

kill you're self :DDDD

>4 hours after last post u reply
>8 hours since my reply
>this booty dusted

>Player brings his girlfriend along
>She obviously is being roped into this, doesn't want to be here, and isn't super invested.
>STILL MANAGES TO UNDERSTAND THE RULES BETTER THAN THE FUCKNUGGET THAT HAS BEEN PLAYING THE SAME SYSTEM FOR OVER A DECADE

Fortunately all you need to know is how to click one of the convenient links Veeky Forums inserts next to every picture

Strange I have been not playing DnD for years and is working for me. I had 0 problematic players.

You can have mine if you want.
I've tried FFG Star Wars, Mutants and Masterminds, FATE, Shadowrun, GURPS, Song of Swords, and fucking Everyone is John. Every damn group has had at least one mouthbreather who doesn't know basic rules six months in.

Oh, I see your problem. I don't play DnD or any other game. In fact, I just play one on one games with my gf, who I know is not retarded.

I imagine you're friends with this person, so you probably don't want to, but that sounds like the perfect opportunity for passive aggressive. "Wow, your girlfriend picked up all the rules for the game really quickly, didn't she?"

Not him, but pic related. I wouldn't be surprised if all he gets via reverse is Veeky Forums itself

Im just as new to the system as my players and, as the GM, I never have that problem. Honestly, I wouldnt be surprised if I found out they all pregamed hard or something, because the only time Ive had difficulty reading a character sheet is when Im drunk.

This is a massive exaggeration. Your own google data only affects search results if you're actually logged in to google in the browser you're using and you can fix that by deleting your search history or just logging out of your google account. You're more likely to end up with missing or vastly different search results because you're in a country that has filters on search results like China or the UK.

And google image searches will match pictures exactly the fucking same regardless.

So yes, just fucking google it, and there's an IQDB button too if you're too autistic to figure out google.

>Your own google data only affects search results if you're actually logged in to google in the browser you're using and you can fix that by deleting your search history or just logging out of your google account
Please tell me you are just pretending

My theory is some people are more enamored with the IDEA of playing RPGs than ACTUALLY playing them. They just want the geek cred of being able to say they "play D&D" on Facebook and posting D&D memes on imgur, but they couldn't care less about the actual game itself.

>I hate playing characters with spell slots, they are too complex
>Fighters are so weak
>This system sucks

It does, but srsly man if you are gonna powergame just do it right

The real solution is to change the game. And I'm not sarcastic here or pulling free "Kick D&D" points. If your players flat-out tell you the game sucks and they are apparently aren't enjoying themselves, while you yourself are perfectly aware the game is bad, why keep playing it?

>Guy DMing has only ever played a warlock, he's played at least 15 sessions of warlock
>he tries to build a cleric for someone
>it has eldritch blast
>he thinks he can spend spell slots to cast eldritch blast at a higher level

We explained how warlock works to him at least 3 times when he played before. I don't get it

>Another issue created by playing DnD
Why I'm not even surprise? Seriously, when I've only got myself into the hobby almost a decade ago, my then GM said "4 out of 5 problems you will ever hear about is caused by people playing Dungeons and Dragons" when we asked him why we won't try DnD, since, well, everyone plays it.
I thought he was just kidding, but the more years have passed, the more I'm reasured he was only smiling to make the uncomfortable truth easier to bear.

It's not really a problem caused by D&D, but by the player. He prefers games more rules-lite than 5e because he can't grasp one of the easier classes

That's not really true with reverse image search, you will get the correct results. Also there's iqdb.

>It's not problem with the game, but caused by the game
Not him, but that's just semantics at this point. Case the point - D&D cause brain cancer. Editions under TSR caused minor brain cancer that was in recesssion. Editions under Lorraine caused minor cases of autism instead. And then any edition under WotC is causing progressively bigger brain cancer with multiorgan causes developing.
The game is awful and badly designed. The fact 5e is basically trying to be desperately being 3e only further points how they have no fucking clue how to fix their "own" game.

The player literally isn't a D&D player. He prefers other systems. This is the worst attempt at a shitpost I've seen, please pick up a different hobby

>Run a Forsaken game. Have 3 players 2 know english one only spanish. Spanish-speaking person wants to play a Ithaeur (shaman)

>i told her that is a difficult role to play and tried to steer her to more simpler auspice.

>They start with 1 gift and nothing else. 2 sessions in everyone keeps forgetting what their rolls and inherent powers are.

>I made them all cheat sheet with resume of the rules.

>I translate all 2nd edition powers and found the obscure 1st core manual in spanish for the spanish speaking person and told her to read only one chapter.

>She does none. Same problem other players dont read the rule either even though they know english.

>The elodoth (judge auspice) complains that his role is useless because he wont read how social merits works.

>We approach time skip, kill off the Elodoth PC and told him to make a punchy auspice. Told the rest of the table that from this time skip off, i am gonna take my glove off and assume the NPCs know the rules and will use them against them.

Now desperate enough to even try this
>I'll be handing out in-game bonuses (BONUSES are key. make the players believe they are getting something extra for doing well. NOT being penalized for playing poorly).

Can't you craft a bait that doesn't look so stupid? user is describing a player that doesn't understand the (pretty obvious) differences between two casting classes and howthey cast their spells. It has nothing to do with the shortcomings of a system at all, and no one would ever think that.

What if I tell you this is not a bait?
Oh, right, but you already know better, so reality no longer apllies to you.

excuses and mental gymnastics people will go though to not put in the effort and research to find what they are looking for. theyd rather put the effort in bitching and begging.

Not only is that mostly untrue, but google isn't the only or even the best way to find sources.

>Not recognising King Arthur Pendragon on his noble steed in the year of the Lord MMXVII

>Half of the day later, let's try to reignite the flame bait

Are you implying that cats can love?

Look up the gentle femdom thread in /d/.

But then why can't you recognize something from the early 00s?

>gentle femdom is /d/

You people amaze me sometimes, and not in a good way.

I never said anything about love. But the original line was "alone and unloved".
He won't die alone.
And the cats won't be hungry for long

One of the regular elements on /d/ is a genuine, sincere thread dedicated to hand-holding and similar content, with lots of blushing involved.

And of course there is "gentle femdom" and "gentle dom", too, but that's pretty rare. Shame.

I said "very early 00s". Already find out what it is from. And for the record, 2004, along with 4 in a 0-9 scale is the middle of it, not "early". And most definitely not "very early".

It is fate/stay night probably or something else from the nasuverse (type moon stuff)

Whatever you say, newfag.

? ? ?

>Players can see eachothers sheets
wait is this normal? My DM doesn't let us do that

Every time that kind of guy in my group shows his poor understanding still it completely baffles me. How fucking stupid can you be? It isn't even basic fucking math just remember what numbers relate to what concepts, a fucking five year old can play DnD and better understand their character sheet than him. I guess that's why he majored in animation.

What's wrong, Faye? :(

She's up to her nipples in debt she doesn't remember accruing.

Does it effect anything? After a while a party should have a decent understanding of everyone's abilities anyway. That being said it isn't that hard to memorize someone's bonuses based on their rolls and either the outcomes or even simpler the end result. eg.
>Fighter rolls a 7 to hit
>After adding in his bonuses it is 14
>Fighter's strength bonus is obviously +4 if his proficiency bonus is +3
Alternatively
>Pinpoint an enemy's AC based on what attacks of yours hit and miss
>See what a player rolls
>If you know his level you can take his proficiency bonus into account
>Keep track of what rolls hit and miss
>Be able to pinpoint his ability scores

>4th is the only edition of D&D that isn't 100% garbage
No its 95% garbage. While ad&d 1e and 2e hover around 85%, 3.5 is 45%, and 5e is 55% garbage.

>Apocalypse World
Why am I seeing shilling for this lately? I mean don't get me wrong I love Apocalypse World, it's the only good pbta game, but I dunno why it's suddenly popped up into Veeky Forums consciousness again. The 2nd edition coming out maybe?

I eventually started using a turn timer and say if someone doesn't decide on a course of action by the time it runs out their character is too confused or overwhelmed to act. You have five other players before you, each player has 1-5 minutes to decide what to do (if I am running multiple enemies I give them less time, a few guys I give them more), you also have 1-20 enemies whose turns take a few seconds to a minute to resolve, if you haven't decided what to do by the time your turn is up you clearly are an idiot. If you need flash cards to remember spells or some shit I provide them for free, you have plenty of time to skim through the rulebook on other people's turns, it shouldn't take you a quarter of a goddamn hour to decide "walk backwards 20 feet and shoot this guy."

>session 0
I wish this autistic meme would die.

She also got sent to notDisney Chucky Cheese to find a bounty.
Proceeds to find said bounty, and gets owned.

>3.5e
>Better than 5e and 4e
Ahahahahahahahahaha. At least you aren't a nostalgiafag who thinks ad&d was the best edition ever any everything afterwards was objectively worse in every way.

This is annoying to be sure. Some people are just plain fucking stupid though or not paying attention.

Although I will say I don't know what the difference is between a to hit bonus an an attack bonus

This. Most normalfucks playing D&D immediately have an orgasm when they roll a natural 20 cause they basically equate it to a fucking roulette game or something and think "ok now something HILARIOUS has to happen." Even the people in my pathfinder group have started saying "oh well I got a CRIT on my perception roll" no you don't get crits you idiot. And no, when you ask if you can make a perception roll and I say sure cause fuck it, a nat20 just means you did the best you can do. It doesn't mean you saw into space and saw the BBEGs plan.

I didnt say it was better, just less garbage.

>Single mention of a game
>Shilling

>Session 0 is now autistic
>Session 0 is now a meme

I wish nu/tg/ never happend. It would solve by itself all the problems that got constantly posted, including "Why my players don't know how to play the game".

Depends entirely on situation. I remember one of my players asking me in secret if I would allow him to play Mage (Con artist), while everyone in the party was let to believe that he plays actual magic user. He knew grand total of 2 spells and that was all he needed, everything else was con tricks.
So in that particular case looking into his sheet would instantly end the ruse and it was enjoyable to see how he tries to pull it, while everyone was genuinely surprised when eventually the plot revealed him as a cheat rather than magician.

Everyone in my party was cooperative and open with one another, the DM just didn't let us look at the other sheets on roll20 for some reason.

Actually, this DM was always secretive as fuck, and railroaded super hard too. Maybe he's just a shit DM.

M'kay. Just don't you ever come on Veeky Forums to complain on your players never bothering to learn the rules or having friction between what you want to run and what they want to play.

That's the same thing, retard.