/HHG/ Horus Heresy General

Horus did nothing wrong.

Previous thread >Thread FAQ
pastebin.com/iUqNrrA8

>Official HH 7th Edition Errata (not updated since January 2016)
forgeworld.co.uk/resources/fw_site/fw_pdfs/Horus_Heresy/Horus_Heresy_7th_Edition.pdf

>30k TACTICA & TIPS
What to include in a HH list, how to format it, what makes each legion special (crunch), tactics, Tutorials for Heresy-era minis and more
pastebin.com/Tm2P4QLp

>HH Books, Novels and Rulebooks galore
pastebin.com/k9uvqsub
sys.Veeky Forums.org/derefer?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.docdroid.net%2Ffz1OuHK%2Fcrusade-imperialis-army-lists.pdf.html
sys.Veeky Forums.org/derefer?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.docdroid.net%2FZTK72gs%2Flegiones-astartes-age-of-darkness-army-list.pdf.html
sys.Veeky Forums.org/derefer?url=https%3A%2F%2Fmega.nz%2F%23F!BxI1HSgI!0tKymKh9RZTzGpgIA5EyCg

>/HHG/'s Legion demographics
strawpoll.me/10558764

>/HHG/'s allegiances
www.strawpoll.me/10663447

>Primarch Popularity Poll
strawpoll.me/11458318

>NEW Mega Folder
mega.nz/#F!gaBiVTKI!HTOuNx5zzNxHqT-ny-AU3A

Other urls found in this thread:

sendit.cloud/1r8ahjt8ikws
www116.zippyshare.com/v/jYvdCYpu/file.html
mega.nz/#F!0RlxDZQC!qAu9BaubWa3KeihJRmOcsg
twitter.com/SFWRedditImages

1st for russ is a traitor

Singles confirm.

...

From last general
> Blackshields-The-False-War
sendit.cloud/1r8ahjt8ikws
>Restorer
www116.zippyshare.com/v/jYvdCYpu/file.html

Duh. Only faggots like Leman Russ.

decided to post my drafts, I'll leave it in spoiler so you can't accuse me for your bleeding eyes
warp/realspace scene :
Reality recoiled.
The transition between real space and the warp had never been a smooth one, the invention of gellar fields made it possible nonetheless. The strange, eerie colours of the warp were slowly replaced by the black void of space, a large rift marking the distinction between the two . From the centre of the unnatural scar they came, first the escorts, swarming the bigger cruisers, and then, when the perimeter was secured, the battle-barges arrived, monstrous hulks of adamantium, matched by none, but the titanic gloriana-class battleships that carried the Primarchs, in term of size, weaponry and defences.
However, in this corner of the galaxy, nothing would dare to threaten one of these mighty vessels, let alone five of them.

con't
the protagonist and her sidekick
Varda glanced at the fleet from the command bridge of the Battlebarge Jupiter’s Pride, she had not seen it in imperial space for a long while, nearly 17 years, and now would probably be her last chance to do so. As she watched the tinier vessels adapt their speed to the slower members of the battlefleet, she heard robes rubbing on the iron floor
« a great spectacle, I never tire of it, do you ? »
She did not awnser, the voice disturbed her in her contemplation
« the fleet should arrive at Orison V in a few hours, in the meantime I will make prepare my brothers for the parade and the subsequent speeches. Find me in the battlements »
Again she did not respond, instead concentrating on the small details carved on the hull of the battle-barges. Few mortals would dare to remain silent when asked a directly by an astartes officer, but she herself was a imperial knight pilot, holding the rank of baroness, her pretty face hiding the soul of a merciless fighter, and so was not impressed nor scared by astartes questions, especially so when it came from her commander : Demek Fahl ,a space marine holding the rank of centurion delegatus and imperial representative of the 101th exploration fleet. He fortunately rarely cared about being ignored by humans, as his position needed uncommon skill not found in the regular astartes, such as patience and diplomacy.

Tryin' to decide on the symbol for my Blackshields.
I'm thinking one of the following:
Malal symbol on both shoulders
Black Dragon symbol on both shoulders
Thorns symbol on both shoulders
Scythes on both shoulders

Or a mix:
Malal/Scythes
Thorns/Dragon
Dragon/Scythes
etc

Any of those sound good?
Can anyone suggest an alternative?

Just keep in mind I am shit at painting things as small/detailed as a chapter symbol.

Drafts of what?
What is all this supposed to be?

see

>I will make prepare
I wish there was an edit fuction
the sidekick is a skaven in disguise

Are your guys good bad or neutral? Malal skulls are a bit too evil looking even for the Imperium, scythes and black dragons can be related to existing canonical chapters, and thorns are fairly neutral and can represent good, bad, or neutral blackshields. One idea is choosing one of the ones besides thorns as your main symbol and using the thorns to symbolize rank or something.

I mostly want to keep them neutral so I can use them as either side.
Honestly, I quite like the thorns, but the guy only sells them as mkiv or mkvii shoulder pads. All the other symbols are sold as just the symbols, so I can feasibly use them in different ways.

Good point about the Malal symbol. If I went with that symbol, I was planning on sort of hinting at them being survivors of the 11th legion (Malal likes 11, get it?). A bit too silly, now that I think about it.

Aquila on one shoulder, Chaos star on the other.

And Malal skull on the chest?

mega.nz/#F!0RlxDZQC!qAu9BaubWa3KeihJRmOcsg

Link is dead unfortunately, it has been removed by Mega. Does anyone have the one with all the audiobooks in it?

Horus Heresy is pretty much all I play these days, but I wish that there were balancing changes that would make large blocks of marines viable. I hate that the basic troops choices are basically garbage without dumping hundreds of points of upgrades and support into them.

I fukken love custodians. Banner bearer wip.

>Shield
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Why does Inferno get so much hate?

What legion do you play? My EC tacticals are good at support. Close range fury of the legion with 15 dudes (my standard unit size for tacticals) can kill 6 or 7 power armour marines on average (so crippling a vet squad) while giving them chainswords means that they will generally drop 3 or 4 marines on average before they get the chance to swing. Imperial Fists shoot better, World Eaters get an extra attack, Blood Angels are essentially +1 strength, Dark Angels hit on a 3+ against WS 4 marines, space wolves are just WS 5 on the charge, Sons of Horus and Night Lords can get extra attacks, etc.

Unless your meta is just phosphex spam tacticals are good cheap troop choices being able to press the attack without fear of losses or hunker down and hold an objective regardless of what the enemy throws at you.

Typos, broken rules, confusing rules( like misericordia or Talons alliance), still no FaQ.

Thousand sons, cuckstodes, Russ, 5 point power weapons, Magnus, tribunes, generally poor editing, and the wait was too long.

Sons of Horus. So pretty decent tacticals, but it's not just me either, all of the guys I play with do whatever they can to avoid tactical marines. They're just boring and bad. They're not particularly resilient, they're not good at killing, they're not great in combat, etc.

How are the garbage?

Sons of Horus are especially good with Pride of The Legion, The Black Reaving, or another one with Maloghurst (vets and reavers troops).

So yeah, SoH tacticals are relatively meh since deathdealers doesn't work with fury of the legion.

Vets and reavers are your bread and honey.

>They're not particularly resilient
They are the most resilient unit in the LA army list for their price. Comparing 20 tacticals to 10 terminators getting shot with bolters it takes 180 bolters to wipe out each unit but 20 tacticals costs 100 points less. For those 100 points give the unit an apothecary with a power sword and give a second one to the sergeant. Still cheaper, and a lot more survivable

>they're not good at killing
Largely true, but if you give them a chaplain they become fearless allowing them to tarpit enemy units until an actual assault unit can join in and wipe them out. Additionally fury of the legion is still nothing to laugh at, at close range it will cripple a five man terminator or ten man veteran squad.

>they're not great in combat
They can tarpit better than most units.

I mean outside of some World Eater and maybe Emperor's Children lists you aren't going to make tacticals into death stars, but for their price they can take and hold objectives and be extremely hard to drive off those objectives. In addition many legions have rites of war or legiones astartes rules to give their armies in general and tactical squads in particular more mobility.

Fenris hjolda, asshole.

Does anybody here run a pre-primarch/Warmaster, or at least an army using those early colours?

I'm talking about Dusk Raiders, Warhounds, or Luna Wolves.

Who here represents the old guard of Terra?

Eh, that's a cool idea but it makes little sense as the Horus Heresy took place starting over 200 years into the crusade, lasting for almost a century(?). By then, the old legions were all gone and renamed by their Primarchs.

I would like to see a Unification Era game at some point, though I doubt there would be much animo for it at this point since investing in a whole new game would take a significant investment and sharding your playerbase is not a good idea in such a niche.

Imagine those techno-barbarian models though, and of course Thunder Warriors and other Genebulked warriors of the Emperor. Techno-warhammer fantasy but in high quality detailed forgeworld models.

>They are the most resilient unit in the LA army list for their price. Comparing 20 tacticals to 10 terminators getting shot with bolters it takes 180 bolters to wipe out each unit but 20 tacticals costs 100 points less. For those 100 points give the unit an apothecary with a power sword and give a second one to the sergeant. Still cheaper, and a lot more survivable

This isn't a great comparison because it doesn't compare realistic scenarios. Your opponent will almost definitely have a decent amount of AP3 or better weaponry that the tacticals will just fold against.

>Largely true, but if you give them a chaplain they become fearless allowing them to tarpit enemy units until an actual assault unit can join in and wipe them out. Additionally fury of the legion is still nothing to laugh at, at close range it will cripple a five man terminator or ten man veteran squad.

This is kind of exactly what I'm talking about though. You're basically around 300 points into the squad, and then you have to toss in another 100+ points to have them not be completely worthless.

>They can tarpit better than most units.

Only when you start tossing in a bunch of extra shit. 20 Power Armor bodies on their own are bad and that just sucks to me.

Well, with warp dickery and such you could always say they've been lost until after the Heresy started.
You could also fluff them as a group of loyalists who want to distance themselves from the traitors as much as possible. I'm pretty sure there's at least one Luna Wolf/Son of Horus who did that in a book (in Flight of the Eisenstein, if memory serves).

Honestly, when it comes to fun theme armies like that I say just go for it and work out the technicalities later.

>Thunder Warriors
Blackshields with the +1S/T upgrade and not too many other toys.
Or an army of Tyranid Warriors: good at fightin', shitty armor, really tough, weapon options that work for proto-bolters, etc.

Thunder Warriors are weaker or stronger than Space Marines?

>This isn't a great comparison because it doesn't compare realistic scenarios. Your opponent will almost definitely have a decent amount of AP3 or better weaponry that the tacticals will just fold against.
How many AP 3 weapons do you see? Generally I just see straight AP 2 weapons in which case the numerical advantage of tacticals makes them better than tartaros and equal to cataphractii. Example: 36 BS 4 shots that wound marines on a 2+ and are AP 2 (ie. plasma gun shots) wipes out a unit of 10 cataphractii terminators or 20 tacticals, the difference is that the tacticals can more easily get FnP and are still cheaper, plus they are more mobile.
>This is kind of exactly what I'm talking about though. You're basically around 300 points into the squad, and then you have to toss in another 100+ points to have them not be completely worthless.
Where the fuck are you getting 300+100 points? 310 gets you a despoiler blob and a chaplain. I just use tacticals as the backbone of my army. They push forwards and seize objectives with FnP while providing cover for my dreadnoughts and tactical support squads while my hidden blade outflanks turn 2 and proceeds to turn everything with 1 wound into mince meat.

However, if I wanted to build an army around tacticals I would probably take a pair of chaplains, and 4 20 man blobs, all of them with FnP, the two with chaplains being desploilers, giving the sarges and apothecaries with the despoilers power swords. The combined part of that list is about 1250 points and gives you 88 wounds with FnP, and two despoiler units would kill 10 or 11 power armour marines on the charge, which for EC means I would essentially wipe out the unit with next to no losses unless it is another tac blob, against terminators I kill 4 or 5 on the charge. For bonus points I could fury of the legion targets before my despoilers charge. To top things off I still have only spent half my points at 2500 point battles.

I would also like to add that if I was playing Iron Hands or Imperial Fists I would drop the despoiler squads and power weapons and use a command squad or two kept close to the tactical blobs to keep them fearless. Iron Hands have shooting against them carried out at -1 strength making them toughness 5 for most purposes while Imperial Fists have BS 5 bolters. Also Heralds can help further supplement tactical squads for loyalists by making the tac blobs WS 5 which is also pretty big.

>Only when you start tossing in a bunch of extra shit. 20 Power Armor bodies on their own are bad and that just sucks to me.
Literally just buy and apothecary, 260 points gets you 21 T 4 3+ wounds with feel no pain. Its more resilient than 10 terminators and still much cheaper

For as long as it took and as much as it cost, there was an insufficient amount of editorial support given to backstop a primary author they knew was dying of cancer.

There is no goddamned excuse for an eighty dollar sourcebook to say "RIGHT OF WAR" in the header of a page dedicated to Rites of War. Or be missing pages on the Bloodied Claws or Pale Hunters.

>How many AP 3 weapons do you see?
That's why I said "AP3 or better", but battlecannons are pretty popular in my meta.

>Where the fuck are you getting 300+100 points?

20 guys, Artificer Armor, Power Fist, and the extra weapons makes the squad 290. A Chaplain is about 100 more points. An Apothecary is about 50 more points. This is 3 force org slots and more points than a baseline Knight chassis for a squad that isn't particularly good at anything.

>However, if I wanted to build an army around tacticals I would probably take a pair of chaplains, and 4 20 man blobs, all of them with FnP, the two with chaplains being desploilers, giving the sarges and apothecaries with the despoilers power swords. The combined part of that list is about 1250 points and gives you 88 wounds with FnP, and two despoiler units would kill 10 or 11 power armour marines on the charge, which for EC means I would essentially wipe out the unit with next to no losses unless it is another tac blob, against terminators I kill 4 or 5 on the charge. For bonus points I could fury of the legion targets before my despoilers charge. To top things off I still have only spent half my points at 2500 point battles.

This pretty much proves my whole point. You drop 1250 points, 2/3 of your HQ slots, and an Elites slot for 4 squads that can be effectively countered for, like, half that much. There's simply too much stuff out there right now that just kills power armor bodies dead that every legion can take.

Which is why Vets and Terminators are so much better. It's just way easier to keep them out of harm's way, they realistically have better odds of doing more damage, and can actually counter other things themselves.

>Literally just buy and apothecary, 260 points gets you 21 T 4 3+ wounds with feel no pain. Its more resilient than 10 terminators and still much cheaper

For ~30 more points I can have 10 combi-plasma vets.

They're stronger, tougher, and much more aggressive. Not sure how they compare in terms of skill, but one Thunder Warrior would be a good match for a few astartes.
Thunder Warriors are a collection of warriors; marines are excellent soldiers.

They're halfway between Custodes and Astartes, really.

>Malal skulls are a bit too evil looking even for the Imperium
Lolwut? How do you possibly figure that? It's just a cartoony black and white skull. The Imperium as a whole has a boner for skulls. The Iron Warriors had a metal skull for their symbol and that was apparently just fine.

>That's why I said "AP3 or better", but battlecannons are pretty popular in my meta.
Better fucks over terminators as hard if not harder than tacticals since tacticals get much of their resilience from numbers.

>20 guys...
Why are you buying so much unnecessary crap? Putting artificer armour on a tactical sergeant is stupid, if he gets into challenges he is losing, a chaplain should be cheap, his main role is to avoid morale checks and give rerolls in assauls, not to run up against praetors and get beheaded by a paragon blade, extra weapons are pointless if you are building your tacticals specifically to assault just drop the bolters altogether they should spend every turn available either running or assaulting. If you just want your tacticals to not fold in an assault just stick a chaplain in there or keep them next to a command squad and don't bother with power weapons and CCWs.

>This pretty much proves my whole point. You drop 1250 points, 2/3 of your HQ slots, and an Elites slot for 4 squads that can be effectively countered for, like, half that much.
Each assault blob can wipe out a veteran squad or a 5 man terminator squad on the charge, if you start getting close the shooty blobs can fury of the legion with a combined 160 shots.

>For ~30 more points I can have 10 combi-plasma vets.
Who have just 10 wounds (yep 20 FnP wounds isn't enough, but 10 wounds without FnP is plenty) and will statistically kill one of their own guys if they decide to fire their plasma guns at close range just to kill a whopping 5.56 cataphractii terminators in a single specific shooting phase. Meanwhile a basic 20 man tac blob without FnP or any upgrades which is far cheaper can drop 4.44 if they fury of the legion at close range and have double the wounds with the same armour save. Not to mention that outside of that one super attack the tac blob has double the firepower of the veterans.

Imperium skulls are more death head hussars style anatomically correct skulls, the Malal skull looks more stylized like the punisher's. Also Iron Warriors are evil so I don't think they are a point about how people with skulls are good.

Looking at it closely
It almost looks like something the Eldar Harlequins would use.

>Iron Warriors are evil so I don't think they are a point about how people with skulls are good
>t. Dorn
The Iron Warriors had that symbol for over a hundred years of faithful service to the Imperium without anyone commenting on it so stylized skulls are clearly just fine for Astartes.

There's too much AP3 blast or large blast for tactical blobs to work.

And while they got a price cut in last year's red book, Veterans did too - so they're still a better value. For 160 points you get 10 vets with 3 attacks (2A+bolt pistol/chainsword) and a special ability like Marksman (Outflank+Sniper). That's only 15 points more than 10 Tacticals with chainswords (for 2A total), and Fury of the Legion hardly compares as a special ability since it requires not moving.

It could just be an extra expansion on top of HH, actually if you take the Militia and Cults list, maybe add some extra stuff if you really want, and pit them against legions that can only use the standard Rites of War, that should be about like playing pre-primarch forces. Custodes were the same as they are now I assume. Thunder Warriors could be based on their rules, but with something to represent their instability.

If so why Emps made Astartes weaker than TW?
Weren't TW made to conquer Terra and Marines to conquer Galaxy?

They weren't long lived, nor disciplined. In war, discipline is everything.

>Faithful service
>Not bitching and moaning about siege work while World Eaters happily lobotomized themselves to enjoy killing more and Ferrus Manus gave zero shits about the fact that his only purpose in life was to kill things
Ferrus was the best primarch since he actually understood his fucking job "conquer the galaxy" not "but I want to build castles like Dorn" or "I need more marble for my statues" like Fulgrim or "muh religion" like Lorgar.

That didn't really answer his question

Thunder warriors were short lived and mentally unstable, since astartes are weaker I assume the short lifespans and instability came from their superior biology so when making the marines the emperor decided that it is okay to sacrifice strength and toughness 5 to make sure that space marines can live for centuries and don't go insane from roid rage.

Because TWs had an expatriation date, at least in terms of their mental state.

Astartes aren't the best.

The emperor could have made something stronger, or faster, or smarter, or more skilled, or better armed, or more numerous, or a thousand other things.
Marines are the mid point for all concerns. They aren't the best in any single area, but they are incredibly well rounded, easy to make (geneseed is the gift that keeps on giving), skilled, well armed, and such. They are the best they can be and still be mass produced.
Astartes are excellent soldiers and are largely self-sufficient. Make a marine legion and it can (and will) conquer AND get larger as it does so.

Marines are versatile/adaptable and can be expected to operate as intended with little supervision. Unfortunately, the same could not be said about their primarchs.

Also, any more than 10 models and you no longer fit in a Rhino or Land Raider. All of the transports that can carry more men are pricey.

Thanks for answer

I think the best way to describe it is that Thunder Warriors were designed to fight on Terra. They were the optimal unit the Emperor needed for the Unification Wars, and they did the job very well.

Marines are designed for a centuries long, galaxy-spanning campaign.
The legions are fantastic at being an all-comers force. They can fight well in just about any terrain or scenario, they are long-lasting and capable of self reproduction (as said before, legions would increase in size the more they fought), and, lastly, they were great for propaganda. They just look heroic. Inhuman, perhaps, but really damn cool looking. They can serve to inspire the disparate masses of humanity they find like no brutish Thunder Warrior ever could.

The Emperor could devise a better super soldier, a specialized killer, for any single battle of the Crusade, but only the Astartes could fight well in any battle and do so in numbers worth fielding.
Assassins are a great example of this. Assassins are better at what they do than any marine could ever conceivably hope to be, but marines CAN do what assassins do AND do a thousand other things.

Since Daemons codex is no longer available do you think that in Angelus we will have full daemon list?

I've been wondering that myself.
Kinda hoping for something along the lines of the daemons list from the third edition Daemonhunter codex.

Does anyone have a link to "Archmagos Agamon's Transport Depot"? I heard it on the Eye of Horus podcast, but a google search reveals nothing but Drayvac and youtube just shows me something about wild boars of al-behir.

Does anyone know a website selling small (ie, 30k scale) pieces of random junk?
I'm looking for things like children's toys, articles of clothing, and other odds and ends to use as morbid trophies for my Night Lords.

I've looked around, but I can't find anyone selling stuff like that.

Shapeways has tons of 3d printed crap

Would this symbol work for a Blackshield force's heraldry?

Or maybe a shattered legion force w/ lots 'o Word Bearers?

I play LW, see my glaive further up in the thread. fluffwise my company got caught unaware of the heresy and destroyed by a traitor IW element. being kinda unfavored by horus, they failed to show to ullanor, they failed to show to istvaan and in their ignorance got nuked.

Now if only we could have a rite of war that would remove the "no move" part of fury of the legion and give tacticals some form of cover save

If its Blackshields, its your chapter so do whatever you like.

>loyalist word bearers

uhhhhhh

I know it's not quite up to the already low standarts of BL, but I need some advice, otherwise it'll remain shit.

The HH rules use "Shattered Legion" as a catch-all term for the combined legion forces, loyalist and traitor.
I think.

Show, don't tell. Work on establishing character moments instead of wiki articles. Why does a Knight Pilot need to consider the details of ships?

>and so was not impressed by astartes questions
Nothing about the previous statements indicates why that is.

>let alone five of them
Trim your statements, and avoid cliches like the above. If you must make the point, "let alone five/ much less five" would suffice.

Run Luna wolves. I've posted my lore here before but I'll post it again.

Mostly Terran. Considered a capable hard-boiled lot. Hated the development of the lodges and saw them as a way to bypass traditional luna wolf meritocratic promotion through the ranks with behind closed doors politicking and favoritism. As a result, before the heresy, they were sent to the western Galactic fringe to perform a long nomad predation mission to bring human civilizations to heel and to annihilate alien ones. The mission was expected to attrit most of the chapter to rid the Luna wolves of this non-cthonian core in an honorable way. They didn't check back or resupply on time and were considered lost.

They return when the heresy is in full swing.

Stories are usually longer.

First comma should be a semicolon. There should not be a comma in, ..."matched by none but the titanic Gloriana-class..." Brush up on punctuation. And try to get a few single-clause sentences in there (also ignore that I started a sentence with 'and' =p).

The level of detail is appropriate for long-form writing. If you're aiming for a few pages at most, just get the point. You seem to be more into ships than anything else...

A sort of explanation is given in Angel Exterminatus. While Thunder Warriors were much larger and stronger than Space Marines, they also burned out fast.

In one of the books, where the space marines who were part of the delegation where every legion sent 1 representative to the Imperial Palace, try to escape their Custodes-run prison, they actually encounter some of the last, dying Thunder Warriors. Strong, fast, powerful, intelligent but lacking the special organs for space and they all got super-cancer in the end. Their leader took the geneseed of a dead legionnaire though, with the implication that it held the secret to their survival. Who knows, I doubt there will be enough Thunder Warriors to form a faction, but it would be nice to have a few as Characters.

This. Arik may still be alive as well as his buddy Gota, but that's about it. Maybe a half dozen others if any. But they would all have had to steal/learn the genetic secrets or methods to longer life before breaking down (not long).

I also seem to remember something about Thunder Warriors being engineered into having an unusually high psychic resistance due to the gigantic chaos warshipping nation of Ursh on Terra that needed conquering.

>tfw Bligh didn't have IWND and FNP
Shoulda put that guy in stasis in a shrine above Warhammer World.

Understood

Are there any good sources about Thunder Warriors?

You should totally participate in Radio Free Isstvan's Rapier story contest.

The Master of Mankind talks about them being uh, disposed. Some short Unification Wars flashbacks too.

>One unified symbol
>Blackshields

I don't think you understand the Blackshield aesthetic, son. You can have all of the above.

I like Warhounds very much, but their rules are bland as shit.

>Pretty Face
>Knight Titan Pilot
>"Not many mortals would remain silent when addressed by an astartes warrior"

Greetings, Barroness Sue of house Mary.

Real talk though, you do need to work on showing details instead of explaining them.

We love Torgaddon because we see him knowing when to bring levity to a situation and when to shut up, we aren't told "There is no funnier astartes warrior than Tarik Torgaddon." We love Loken because we see him being brave and empathetic. We care about him because we see him brought into the Mournival and knowing as much about them as we do.

My real advice would be to maybe introduce the "merciless fighter" in perhaps a combat mission -just- before she comes back to her battle barge. Let her introduction introduce her, and not just be a blank description of "Tough Female Fighter #36.99x10^99"

I have 20 unbuilt Burning of Prospero Marines that I want to convert into Breacher Siege squad. This has probably been discussed to death before, but what would be the best way to make the conversion happen? Pick some shields up off of Shapeways or something?

He might have a point Characters should have flaws, too, and those flaws should lead them into a low point during the story. Granted, we haven't seen enough of her to know that she doesn't, but the warning signs are there.

Although we've been warning against too much exposition, you'll have to explain how she made the rank of baroness quickly enough to still have a pretty face.

The sentence beginning with, "Few mortals..." is a tremendous run-on, Sandy Mitchell style (I still like his books, so it's not a fatal flaw - and he's great at introducing characters). Start by splitting it, but it's okay to draw out introductions. The reader will remember more details that way, so talk about her face later. Give the marine his own introductory sentence. Explain why she "especially" isn't impressed by him.

You like going into heavy detail (e.g. "iron floor," "nearly 17 years") but I'm not sure those instances add enough to be worth the clutter.

Study some of the novellas (Brotherhood of the Storm, Tallarn: Executioner) and short stories in the BL anthologies. I can't think of many short stories with new characters at the moment, other than Liar's Due.

I'd be interested in reading more, so keep it up!

Pop Goes the Monkey (Shapeways) or ML Shields (Facebook).

fishing for critisicm, since WiP didn't bite. (and yes I noticed he doesn't have any arms, maybe its a abaddon from before he was first captain :^) )

Is the photo off, or is that white shaded with bright blue, as if the armor were blue with a very rough coat of whitewash?

it is shaded in bright blue, I wanted it to be kinda cold in tone, and decided somewhere along the line that going from a dark blue to white was more visually interesting then just going from black to grey to white.

Yeah, those sound like good options. Thanks m8.

As I imagine her she's far from a mary sue, if anything she's a haughty bitch who need to be put in her place, but the centurion is calm enough to let that pass
and for the infamous "pretty face" if you have plenty of scars on your face as a knight pilot you are just shit at fighting since being encased in a 20Tons warmachine don't expose yo to enemy fire, but you do have a point, maybe I'll add some bionics to her face and body
as for the whole "not many mortals would remains silent" part, the way I see it regular humans either start babbling nonsense or try their best to give an answer, few would straight up ignore a fucking space marine, and she's only doing that because she know that particular one doesn't give a shit and had much worse trying to coerce governors with ego the size of a star system.

>Knight Titan
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE this meme needs to stop! Knights aren't Titans, nor have they ever been Titans. Why do people do this? It sets my autism off every time.

its just as fucking bad as everyone painting up their knights in legion / chapter / whatever the fuck else colors, knight houses have their OWN colors.

most of what I write do have a sense and I won't forget to bring it back in the story in case the reader forgot about it
example
>iron floor
the ships are just brutal, even on the command bridge of one there's no red carpet in sight: Varda, as a noble is accustomed to others bowing to her and since the salamanders did not gave much shit about her shitty personality she'll actually have to learn humility.
>17 years
I did not get the chance to explain it yet, but the fleet have spend that much time outside of the imperial borders without supply or contact with the imperium
as soon as they arrive they find OrisonV destroyed, get the memo from both Dorn and some random IstvaanV survivors.
so every astartes get super mad and ms haughty bitch soon find out she isn't very popular and is about to learn the hard way when to shut the fuck up and when to speak

>if you have plenty of scars on your face as a knight pilot you are just shit at fighting
That makes total sense. I think people are just asking you to explain why the baroness is fairly young.

Those plot points are promising.

Details are nice, but they should be the first thing to go when your sentences get too dense.

>Implying Mary Sue's aren't haughty bitches who are correct to be haughty bitches because they're actually better than everyone else
I'll just ignore that.

>Pretty Face comment
I honestly wanted to touch on this in my first post, but the pretty face comment is so weird and disjointed and speaks volumes more about the narrator/author than the character.

It is a novice mistake to have a character reflect on THEIR OWN appearance in the midst of casual conversation (as the narration seems very slanted towards her perspective), and for her to note that she has a pretty face while just getting barked at by some post-human jackass is... odd. You'd think the narration would describe how beaten and worn the face of the astartes is, and then she'd reflect on how superior she is, since she'd nary a scar. It requires borderline Slaanesh-worshipping narcissism for her to consider her own face pretty at that. All I see after reading that is a male that's hyper-aware that they're writing for a female. Pic super fucking related.

>Ignoring a Space Marine
I know that in the narration it feels as though ignoring a Space Marine would be this cool act of rebellion, but from the Astartes' perspective, just shutting up and letting you yap on is actually fairly... passive... subservient... obedient even. It would be a much more rebellious/bitchy thing for her to reply short, and curtly. "Understood." "Yes." "Finished yet?" are a lot more tense than quiet like a scorned child. Just my take on it.

>Ignoring a Space Marine
I agree, most humans in face of astartes don't complain or whine about whatever order comes their way.

got it, I'll describe her later.
for the whole space marine issue, it's more about her having the mentality of a highborn child, thinking she's so badass for not even paying the astartes lip service, when in truth the question was rhetorical and the centurion didn't gave a fuck about her answer

>It requires borderline Slaanesh-worshipping narcissism for her to consider her own face pretty at that.
I kind of want to read a series of short stories entirely from the perspective of various more alien minded humans, ie. a Slaanesh worshiper with extreme levels of vanity where everything they see or hear is compared to their own glory or a Magos Reductor who views warfare as being akin to meditation where one finds enlightenment within the shot and smoke of the battlefield.

Is there any affordable way of getting blank Mk II shoulder pads?

Chinamen and/or recast your own.

user here, first try at an action scene

some precisions: Demetrios is the praetor in charge of the entire fleet, Mephalas is the shield captain accompanying him, they're currently directing a teleport assault inside an iron warrior fortress (they even managed to teleport Varda's knight in there)
Demetrios roared : “revenge, at last !”, before charging into the nearest enemy, a sergeant holding a chainsword and a bolt pistol, his battered power armour bearing the skull of the fourth legion. The exchange lasted for a few second, the crude weapon being unable to resist the master-crafted thunderhammer of Demetrios. Soon the gore of five other legionnaires was spattered all over his own terminator armor. While he enjoyed the carnage, his task force progressed, the custodes reaping the heaviest toll amongst the IV legionnaires, they fought like warriors of the old legends of terra, each of them being a whirlwind of destruction. Above them towered the BloodCall, Varda’s appropriately named knight, as it crushed any iron warrior foolish enough to approach it. However despite the heavy casualties the traitors were starting to regroup, the first melta and plasma weapon began to appear, soon more would follow. Demetrios snarled, if this battle was not won quickly then his task force would be eradicated by the larger force of iron warrior, and all hope for taking the fortress swiftly would be lost.he opened his vox-link : “To the doors, Varda, hold them, Mephalas, you take the communication center !”, the shield captain nodded, directing his cadre toward the corridors, abandoning the melee as swiftly as they had entered it.

Still no FaQ fixing Inferno and no HH 7th rulebook.