Dear /elf/

What do you do when the humans try to take your sacred forest to turn into farmland because they cut down all the trees near their lands and ruined all their crops?

This is the fifth human city state that's pulled this stunt. We keep killing the attackers and replanting those forests, but they just come back again, clear the land, and try to take our forest when they get overpopulated, only for us to wipe them out.

It's fucking simple. We stay within the greenwood and guard the gate to the underworld as the pact with the Gods dictates, in Exchange we get awesome magic and immortality.

Maybe a depopulation plague? Or just kill them all like we did the lizard people?

Try for some higher quality bait and next time I might include an actual image with your (you).

I have sex with all the human men

That'll teach them

No idea what setting we are talking about here.

I and my family went to ask them to cease and only take from outside our borders. They readily agreed to a supervisor to observe them. My wife and daughter have been regularly visiting the humans to make sure they are obeying, and their logging and burning has completely stopped! Sometimes I wonder why they want such meagre pickings beyond the border s of our forest, but they're only humans, after all.

[x] Activate them.

>(you)’s
>OP

Shouldn't you be on /qst/ right now knife-ears?

Leave. It's useless to try to save the forest. Of course, I would curse the land with perma death and bad luck.

>knife-ears

Whoa, look at the spoon-eared faggot trying to come up with an insult.

It's simple.
Use your immortality and magic to kill all their men and impregnate all their women every decade or so.
Within a century there won't be any humans left.
Just elves and half elves.

Have you ever tried actually telling the humans about your pact with the gods? Or talking to them about ANYTHING instead of attacking whenever they try to expand for the sake of their growing numbers?

Or do you just rush out of the woods like a pack of rabid wolves whenever they get close? See, turns out most of 'em appreciate information and honesty about what you're up to. Why do you think they're so willing to leave us alone, even in lands they consider "theirs?"

Knife ears could be a pretty valid insult if there's a history of cutting off elf ears. You would probably have a hard time making "spoon eared" really mean anything to anyone though

/ss/ their boys. It's the proper elven move

I don't think you have the right idea.

Fine. Fuck the women too. There's lesbian elves.

You mean "knifed ears" or "cut ears" or something like that.

And spoon ears immediately indicates being soft, round, soupy, and generally comical in appearance. It sounds insulting, while knife-ears was coined by video game writers who were terrified of coming up with a slur that actually sounded like an insult.

It's an insult used by guys who suck at insults.

>these fucking elves
HAVE YAH CONSIDERED BUILDING YOUR SACRED GROVE ON A MOUNTAIN YAH POOFS.
OR SOMEWHERE ELSE HARD TO GET TO?
Or is it too much work for you limp wristed pansies
A human did better than that, pushed a fucking massive garden in the middle of no where.
Must be nice be able to squat in a forest all day and let it do everything for you, not have to work, not have to even fucking make food and sit on pinecones all day.

If you love spoons so much why don't you marry spoons

seriously the "insult" sounds comically bad, not helped by the fact that most of the world has fucking "spoon" ears in most settings

Tips for taking human dick? The length I can handle, but the girth is a real pain - literally!

OP doesn't get (you)s, dummy.

There was a chance for this thread to be fun, but humans have to ruin it.

>Shouldn't you be on /qst/ right now knife-ears?

This user has a point. Veeky Forums is only for getting clarification about rulings in Warhammer 40k and Magic: The Gathering. Any other RPG-related thread needs to be on /qst/.

'AS YOU EVA TRIED GETTIN' SUMMA DA BOYZ TAGETHA TA THROW A 'UMIES OFF YA LAND, IF YER SO WORRIED ABOUT DEM TAKIN' WOTZ YERZ?

DEN AGAIN, ELFS IS WEAK AN' PUNY, SO MAYBE DA BEST FINGZ YOU CAN DO IZ JUS' LAY DOWN AN' DIE! STOOPID ELFSEZ CAN' EVEN MAKE A DECENT CHOPPA, MUCH LESS USE IT ROIGHT.

>Any other RPG-related thread needs to be on /qst/
What rpg? This doesn't seem to be a thread about a campaign, about player actions, about crunch or fluff. It's actively role-playing, or after looking through this thread, shitposting.

No truer words have ever been spoken on Veeky Forums you win today friend.

ZOGGIN' UMIES RUIN EVERYFING.

>Implying Humans can find my sacred forest

Seriously if you can't even enchant a fucking forest hard enough to ward away some dedfags then you might as well go live in a city and knock out halfspoons.

/elf/ has gone down hill since they lowered the minimum age to 1800.

Maybe you learn what agriculture is you stupid elf.

Is it wrong to like Treant company more than humans?

WOZ DAT?

>the fact that most of the world has fucking "spoon" ears in most settings
Not really. Goblins, orcs, halflings, tieflings, demons and most beastmen don't have round ears. It's mostly just humans, dwarfs and gnomes(sometimes they're pointy). Knife ears is a cringy attempt of a fantasy racial slur, just call elfs sissies

It makes sense though. Seeing as how the only real difference between human and elves that's noticeable are the ears. Dwarves have their height, orcs have their beastial nature, elves have ears.
They're lankier than humans, but they're really just thinner humans, in that regard. Aside from the ears (and maybe the skull) not much difference.

I mean... WAAAAAGH!

Lanky stature and lack of facial and/or body hair(in some settings) is a better wound for insults specially accompanied by masculinity insults. What about fey ancestry? Call them oversized tooth fairys. If round ears are the odd ones, they are the ones who would be called out for that

I mean... No, don't chop that tree!!! He set me up with my wife!

My elfs learned what capitalism was and opened their sacred groves to human tourists. For a fee of course.
And grew great hotels in the treetops to sell rooms with views of branches for a dozen gold coins a night. And the humans pay it because they think they're living like the elves of yore.
Our old forest guardians used to be indistinguishable from a normal tree (and still are when you leave the tourist areas) but, due to demand, we've been crafting them in a more humanoid shape with lots of branches looking like spikes. Humans love hos scary they look. Especially the charred ones.
We're also building ruins to look like ancient castles and temples. Just so we can take humans deeper into our territory and show them that WE WUZ KANGS of this land in ancient times before the Great Tribulation (details to come later) shattered our glorious empire and we few forest folk are all that's left.
Never mind that we've only lived in this area for less than a dozen human generations.

Oi! Ye tree huggers are very funny! You still didn't learn that pink-skins are ravenous cunts, didn't ye, sharp-ears?

Just jokin', pal, don't get pissed.

Listen. The best way ye can get rid of these pink-skins is to kill them until they leave, or slaughter them all if they won't. How do you think we secured our chunk of land? By sitting in our caves and waitin' to be outnumbered?

The pink-skins are like rats, ye see? If you don't get rid of them soon enough, you'll have twice as much of them before the full moon has passed.

If ye want, we can help ye to burn their fancy houses and cut their bellies we keep their women and their iron tho, me and the boys had no real fun for quite some time.

May your iron stay sharp, sharp-ears.

DID WUNNOV DA BOYZ EAT A 'UMIE AND GET ALL WEAK AND PUNY FROMIT?

HEY GUYS AM IN THE RIGHT THREAD FOR THE ELF BULLYING

>What rpg? This doesn't seem to be a thread about a campaign, about player actions, about crunch or fluff.

It's talking about elves in a generic medieval fantasy setting, which means that in the past it would have belonged on Veeky Forums but now it belongs on /qst/ with all other RPG-related threads that aren't made to ask specific questions about clarifications for 40k or MtG rules.

Go ahead, OP made a shit thread, though he seems to be genuine, and despite this board being the one that's supposed to turn shit into gold Veeky Forums decides that it will not pretend to be elf but to be anything else and basically shitpost a thread top death.

>What do you do when the humans try to take your sacred forest
>forest

This is the problem with you wood elves, you love your forest so much it's going to be your own downfall, and if you like to attack us,prepare for the consequences...and once your beloved forest gets cut down like your self if you dare to attack us, know that it was your own fault.

Move with time like the rest of you kind or get buried in the past like the rest of "your" forest

You arent nearly as funny or clever as you think you are.

I ww.efled.com their women, so they fight one another.