DMing 5e

>DMing 5e
>Players can't shut up for more than 30 seconds
>Constantly interrupt NPC conversations, scene descriptions and skill checks to make some OOC crack or joke
>Forced to shorten descriptions to no more than a sentence to get a word in before my players meme it up
>Emotional and storytelling context undermined as players don't care for what they're doing or why they're doing it and have to be constantly reminded

How do I deal with this shit? It wouldn't be so bad if it was just one or them doing it bit every single one can't keep their mouth shut for more than 30 seconds. I've tried telling them in game and out of game not to interrupt me as well as staying silent in game until they shut up but then they start doing it again 10 minutes later. I thought it may be boredom too but they all tell me they're having a lot of fun. I don't necessarily want to scrap the campaign either as, while I hate their constant interruptions, I still enjoy the game despite this and they're only this fucking annoying in game. How do I make them invested or polite enough to stop this?

Play on Roll20 rather then IRL - that way you have as much time as you want to write out your text and players have different chat channels if they want to meme it up.

...

I also struggle with this. I've had to end nights before due to people not shutting up. One thing that helped (and this is DEFINITELY not a suggestion, more of an anecdote) was starting to smoke weed at the table. People got much more contemplative and quiet after, I actually think it made them better roleplayers as well, but I would guess that this depends on each person individually.

My best suggestion, and this could go really wrong so maybe experiment with the idea:

Tell them you will deduct something from them for each interruption. Maybe even on a player by player basis, so that they start to see the quieter players excelling.

HP is a bad idea... and doesnt make much sense, maybe XP? Just make sure theres no bottom or the ''class clown'' guy will give up once he's gotten punished enough and start taking it as a challenge since he has nothing left to lose.

Sounds like you and your group want to play different games. Try to find a happy middle.

If they are memeing in response to what you say then that's a good sign. You know they are paying attention.
Also, just keep talking when they interrupt.

You gotta pee in their butts

>Sounds like you and your group want to play different games.
Yeah, OP wants to play a role playing game, and his players don't.

When this happens to me, I just stop talking until they shut up.

I might just walk away because there is a chaotic stupid "drunk" cleric that just will not shut his face.

Make it realistic. If they are talking while a NPC is talking then state outright to the player that is listening (if any) that "you were unable to hear anything due to your party goofing around in the background." If they want the information the NPC will give a shorter less helpful info filled chat about the subject if asked again, if he keep getting asked to repeat himself for the 3rd or 4th time he will state he have other things to do and it will cost them to hear anything from that point onward. If everybody else is listening OOC but the player who should be listening isn't then in character he doesn't have the info as he wasn't paying attention. Any knowledge gain from outside of the NPC is meta and will not count for shit.

It is sad but punishing people is the fastest way to teach them. Peeps may be against corporal punishment in real life but even they still have a "time out" and such. Punishment of any kind will still work.

Is alcohol freely flowing when you guys play? I try to limit drinks just because I know the type of people I'm playing with and how much booze shortens their attention spans.