How do you genie Veeky Forums?

The genie grants you (insert random number) of wishes in exchange for a lifetime of servitude.

what kind of servitude?

I'll grant you any one wish. But if what you wish for isn't a suck of my cock, I'll cut your legs off.

This.

I wish the genie back in the lamp

Well yeah, they cant drive cars and are forced to wear veils.

The kind you like least

Moreover, as genies are ancient magicians, they're both incredibly powerful and incredibly rich. "Granting wishes" is a shorthand way of saying "Can provide any product or service".

How indeed?

what kind of idiot would accept the wish then? Unless you mean a lifetime of servitude after they die.

I wish I had the ability to regrow my limbs in entirety and functionality.

They're very rare, here is an example of one in my setting. This is pathfinder. For reference he is trapped in a rifle. The second paragraph is its origin.

A strangely long and slender musket with a stylized fiend's face at the end of the barrel. When in dim light the reflections on the fiend's mouth looks as if it is gnashing its teeth. They know it is named Yuhmis Alrraed meaning Whispering Thunder. The item has int 14, wisdom 13, and charisma 16, is Neutral Evil, empathy, blindsense, ability to move 10ft per round (which it uses to force itself into the gunslinger's hands while he sleeps), and can cast magic aura on itself at will. It is a +3 Lucky Distance Seeking Musket. Once per day you can make it fire a much more dangerous round. Acts if you are vital shotting, but does the damage to everything in a 10 foot area and triple to objects.

The entity is a malignant desert spirit tricked into a clay urn. The urn was full of dates, figs, and peaches, and left to ferment in honey. The spirit greedily tasted the fruit, gorging itself on the mixture. However in its greed it did not notice the trap, becoming ensnared in the sticky honey. A plug was put upon the urn, sealing it inside. Try as it might it could not break the clay, the surface having been reinforced by the one who had left it there, a traveling monk, come from the south at the behest of the sultan to rid the desert of this viscous spirit. For the rest of its days the spirit was stuck upon the sultan's pedestal, a example and warning. Its cries were enjoyed as the sultan, and then his son, and his son's son, taunted him. Much later one of the sultan's ancestors, in his fear, sought turning the spirit into a weapon, and succeeded. In the hands of the artisan the spirit took control, hunting the sultan's family. It rid itself of the sultan's line, but was not satisfied, it now seeks the dreadful monk, to cut away the family tree at its roots.

The monk is the strongest mortal. It's been 600 years since the spirit was captured, and 150 since it became a rifle. The monk himself is actual alive, a strange ancient one armed mountain hermit, and his descendants are alive as well, albeit scattered. A few of them, what would constitute the main family, are aware of the monk's presence. The monk only descends from the mountain in "times of great need", as he says, however these times range widely. Often he is not there in moments of what would be considered national peril, but there in smaller more personal conflicts. He soothes pain, exorcises spirits, heals the sick, and smites the wicked.

Waraqat Qadima, the monk's official title Meaning Aged Paper is a level 16 Unchained Monk who reached enlightenment. Once he was a wicked man, left to die by his enemies, lain upon a mountain stream bleeding. He drank from the water, cradling his body. For three days he lay there, drinking of the tepid water. On the third day he did not drink, and he was enlightened. The monk lived a simple and righteous life from that day onward, righting the wrongs around him.

The rifle and the monk are entwined in destiny.

When having your worshipers get blown up for the price of 72 virgins, but is not actually women...

They are beings that are absolutely Haram.

Either as an NPC that has one wish left and wants to find his master to finish the contract or as a mini-boss who knows how strong he is.
Every turn he grants himself a wish that has monumental effects, but after his third wish it’s back into the lamp for 100 years. On turn three he just keeps spamming with whatever he wished for the last two turns. A good role player could goad his dumb ass into wasting his own wishes or losing count on how many he’s made so far.

Bored and spiteful, except on those rare occasions when someone asks for a genuinely selfless wish.

Sexual servitude

Ha, the real funny thing is that NOT believing in Djiins is that's considered haram

They are only haram if they do not obey Allah.

I wish to enjoy servitude with the joy of 3trillion shots of heroin a second, with no side effects

bump

If you don't wish for a suck of his cock, he'll cut your legs off.

I was always confused at the "I wish for more genies" thing.

It seems pretty implicit for these kinds of powers to be limited up to the "power level" of the being itself. So a genie couldn't produce another genie, but could produce a being capable of granting 2 wishes, and that being could produce a being capable of 1 wish.

Similarly a genie wouldn't be able to rewrite natural laws, or change the whole universe. These would be the type of things in the realm of a god, and a powerful one at that, not a genie.

Whether or not they twist your wishes, or agree to grant any at all, depends entirely on their mood. If they're feeling generous, you'll be golden. If they're not, well.

And that's just the competent ones. You can have a genie who is feeling very generous that day but has no idea what he is doing.

youtube.com/watch?v=OJ2tuK-ZQvU

SMOKE AND INCENSE PUSSY!

Unable to escape from Smoof stuff.

Well, if it's going to be like that, I want a fighting chance I guess.

I wish to be a powerful sorcerer, with the potential to rival you given 10 years of dedicated practice.

I wish for the ability to share my gifts with others, who can learn to be sorcerers and sorceresses, albeit at a slower pace than me.

I wish for 8 years before you begin your conquest.

Let the game begin, genie.

>Newish Genie constantly fucking up wishes because he's only awoken once every couple centuries and nomenclature and desires change drastically between those era
That's adorable.

He might refuse to grant those, he's not forced to grant your requests in this case.

True. But if at best I get to be king of worms, why not make it somewhat interesting. If I'm really talking to an immortal superpowerful being, then surely he knows how dull and awfully boring humanity would be to conquer. Not even talking about the aftermath, which would be EVEN MORE boring than the actual takeover of earth.

Spice it up man. I'm not the human that captured him, but if I had a choice, I'd probably free him again even knowing he hated humanity. Give this earthly destruction some spice.

...

basically like WKUK

youtube.com/watch?v=7tyt0FYTNUg

Stopped reading at "Pathfinder"

that actually seems more classical, basically just an otherworldly being bound to completing your dumbass desires

Great addition to the conversation, user. Your downvote is highly valued.

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I guess that explains Shantae being a half-genie

It's not bringing new genies into being, it is simply pulling the objects other genies are trapped in to the wisher. Don't over think it m8

whoah...

didn;t expect that boner

>gingers

...

There's a whole society of genies on another plane of existence and only the very powerful ones can grant wishes. You'll only find one in the mortal plane if he was imprisoned or banished by a higher genie. This usually happens for political and superficial reasons. If you can free the genie from his material prison, he'll probably help you out any way he can, but more through his charisma, connections, or combat ability.

that's come back in 5e I think. Like you can pick up a bottle with a Djinn in it and its K, or one with an Ifirti who WILL wipe your party the second he's out of the bottle

That's a pretty good reaction pic.

>tfw you know where it's from

I've been on the internet faaar too long... shit.

>tfw you know where it's from
Please enlighten us

I wish to be the most skillfull cocksucker the world has ever seen, but only if my cock is sucked in return for my services.

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1st wish=Be a female genie.
2nd wish=Marry me/love me.
3rd wish=Have my kids?

I think that guy still has a wish left because the 2nd leads into the 3rd, unless genies are incompatible with human breeding, then fuck if I know.

Contrary to popular belief in the setting, my genies don't grant wishes. They can do magical bullshit however, and might be inclined to do at least one favor for those who free them from their lamp (which depends on the genie of course).

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They're sadistic creatures from the moon who will fuck your wish up so hard that you will wish that you never made a wish.

What do you say for a wish to not get twisted from what you wanted? Do you just say something like I wish for x that I'm visualizing in my mind or should you just ask nicely for it?

>What do you say for a wish to not get twisted from what you wanted?
Ask the genie what it wants. It has basically no motive to lie, and little motive to fuck with wishes that won't conflict with its own goals.

Hey Genie, what do you want?
>An ocean of dicks for every asshole. A cup of piss in every mug.
O-okay, anything else?
>I'd like to have my unlimited murder rape and torture room back populated by everyone in human history.
One last try bud.
>Fine, I just want to have my girlfriend's spider filled vagina back. Shit was so cash.

Anayesha.

Beware the chicks with dicks.

>not "I wish to have sex with you"
Clever.

Isn't the classic wizard trick in Middle Eastern folklore to just have an invisible djinn carry you around and claim to be flying, or have a djinn go up to the gates of heaven to listen for hot gossip and then you claim to be omniscient?

This is how genies are supposed to work, except that also they don't have magical wish-granting powers. They accomplish most wishes through some combination of
>Super speed, flight, and the power to turn invisible
>Giving you some of their personal wealth
>Paying other genies to do it, because their society has the same professions as humans

"I wish to be a genie like you."

Magic users who were cursed by the gods to serve as thralls to whomever manages to find them because said magic users tried to become gods themselves through their magic

They mostly appear in the standard Arabic style since the "magic nation" that once was their home had that sort of culture, though it's now gone because the gods basically obliterated it when the people started vying for godhood

They have limited power depending on which genie you find since theyre all very unique, so you may find a genie who can fight alongside you, or one who can make food and water appear from thin air

They can be kind or harsh but never really against you so long as you own them. And it isn't uncommon for them to be sold off for massive fortunes since they're basically relics with a free servant attatched

1. Big titties
2. Big ass
3. Be my wife

The genie doesn’t sound like he’s got any desire to make things interesting. I don’t think he wants a rival.

I’d ask to know what happened— with no exaggerations, no lies, and no half-truths. The idea is to play the genie’s grievances against humanity against his tactical sense; he’s bound to want to complain about his treatment, but he’d have to be a moron not to realize that any information he gives out could be used against him. The odds that this wish will be granted depend on how dumb the genie thinks I am, so I’d precede it with something more standard, like “wealth.” I might add that if I’m going to go down in human history and the guy who ruined everything, I’d at least like to know the rest of the story.

This is, of course, a convoluted way of asking, “Could you tell me how you wound up in that bottle, please?” such that the question might actually get answered.

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More or less like your pic, actually, except that since it's a ridiculous world of magic, as powerful as genies are, they still have to deal with other beings of comparable power and so can't just go around taking over the world.

Since I play D&D I go in for the djinn (air), efreet (fire), dao (earth), and marid (water) divide, with only the djinn being in any way benevolent, and even then djinn love taking and having slaves. They take good care of those slaves, but they ARE slaves.

Also, every single one of them gives themselves a nickname, and has a full name that ends with either ibn-[element] or bint-[element], depending on gender. So for example I have a efreeti right now who identifies himself as Shunithal al-Aziz ibn al-Nar, or "Shunithal the Powerful, Son of Fire."

Genies can and do grant wishes under different circumstances. Usually they're doing a solid for someone, but they can be captured and impelled to grant wishes. They despite when this happens, though.

Despite the fact that my parents are Irish, when I was a kid they got me a (mostly kid-friendly) version of the Arabian Nights, and also Disney's Aladdin came out when I was 7 or so, and also I read "The Horse and His Boy" (AKA, best Narnia story) when I was young, so all that came together to ensure that I have the softest of spots for Arabian stories.

I'm right now writing an "epilogue" of sorts for my 5e character from HotDQ/RoT, as she had a somewhat ambiguous end that involved her getting lost in the Astral Sea. I'm taking a page from one of my own 5e homebrew supplements and writing up a story where she's trapped in the City of Brass as a slave to an efreeti (the aforementioned Shunithal), and has to escape.

A streamlined version of this exists in 5e, in that no matter what it's an efreeti, but it's more likely to serve you than harm you...but it also might just try and murder you. See pic.

Oh, for the record OP:

The first thing you must do (without wasting wishes to do so) is determine if the genie is granting you wishes as a favor; or if it's compelled to grant you wishes. You must also learn its limitations.

If the genie is simply doing you a solid, then what you really want to do is just take as long as you can between each wish, wish for self-centered things, and hope for the best.

If the genie is compelled, these are the most sensible three wishes:

1) I wish that each of my wishes, including this one, is granted according to both the letter AND the intent of the wish.
2) I wish for all the powers and abilities of a genie without any of the obligations or restrictions (note the careful phrasing - you have not wished to be a genie)
3) I wish for you to once again be trapped within your container until I intentionally and knowingly release you.

Using the powers granted by (2), you then find out what the genie is like. If he's a bro, you let him out. If he's a dick, he's now stuck in there forever.

It's a integral part of the religion. In the end, everyone is a slave to Alah and thats good since he is so awesome. Everyone who doesn't like being a slave is a fucking heretic and isn't actually human. Except for jews and christians, they are only sub-humans.

which makes raping and murdering them not rape and murder

I see we have a knowledgeable scholar in our midst.