I'll start, though I admit my examples aren't the best.
>I'm playing a half-elf rogue with a DEX of 19 >another player is playing a necromancer of some sort with a DEX of 4 and a skeletal sauropod he rides around on >I'm in a tree when we're camping, and it's time to set off, so I hoist my bag on my shoulder and slide on my feet Flintstones-style down its back (I roll well on top of my good DEX score to do so) >he decides to try >DM has him roll as well and he rolls a 6 total, falling on his face and suffering 1 pt. of damage >he starts whining and drags the game to a halt >later, he tries to kill a ship's captain for making him pay extra to board his giant skeletal dinosaur >another player in this same game wants to murder a small child for stealing bread from him, and insists adamantly that doing so is a true neutral act with no moral meaning whatsoever
>a few years later, playing with a new group >DM makes us basically beg for anything resembling an adventure hook or anything interesting >we go to this graveyard and, after dicking around for 15-20 minutes IRL, uncover a weird portal beneath a tombstone >go inside the adjacent temple and meet a gorgeous female paladin whose breasts the DM spends at least three sentences describing, then she sends us away while she "gathers resources for the excursion" >next day in-game we come back and there's another paladin, epic level, who he stops to tell us is an old character of his >he describes them eye-fucking >the two of them basically escort us through the "Elemental Plane of Evil," slaying demons and devils and such left and right >after the game when everyone else has left, he tells me that since I'm dating a guy, even though I say I'm bisexual, as far as he's concerned I'm gay unless he sees me kiss a woman >proceeds to try to pressure me into letting him watch me make out with someone besides the person I'm dating to "prove my sexuality" to him
Robert Richardson
>asks for a certain type of campaign >try to slowly steer campaign toward that >finally reach the part he wanted >he leaves to go play video games Or >sneaks ahead invisible >finds high-level demon >decides to attack it while 300 feet from the party >gets hit with blasphemy and paralyzed >gets angry that he didn't get a "surprise round" on top of already attacking once Neither of those really annoyed me much, though. It is really hard to annoy me as a GM. And I guess they aren't really annoying but they're the best I have without making stuff up.
William Perez
Why always is this board whining? Share cool stories about your DM/players being really cool, or having nice experiences.
>Play a campaign with 3 people for whom this is the first TTRPG >Last session as I am moving away >Hard fought last fight and we are down to our last lives >There is a chest in the room and before I even noticed what was going on, our team greediest characters opens it >mimic.png >This calls back to our first ever session, where an undead fiend was animated because the same character was grabbing the treasures around its grave >Three of us get knocked out and the last player (wizard) was out of spells. >Bonus movement allows him to run around the room (large room, lots of obstacles), slinging pebbles at the mimic until it finally dies >Adventurers decide to put down their swords and become farmers.
Dylan Ramirez
I rember this pasta. Wasn't funny then and it isn't now, but i see you added some details.
Cooper Bennett
>Why always is this board whining? That Guy stories are often funny, and they make people feel better about their own experiences and groups even when they don't go great.
It's all in good fun.
Hunter Anderson
It's not a pasta. I've just posted the same story more than once. I wasn't really trying to be funny, either.
Someone else might have posted something similar, though, I guess.
Jason Gomez
I knew a guy that constantly interrupted the DM and demanded that time be rewound so he could finish up retardedly mundane tasks in the scenes for no apparent reason.
Jose Baker
What. Examples?
Parker Rogers
So, a while back, I mentioned we had this one minor problem player, who thinks "roleplaying" is describing how his character takes a dump in the middle of dungeon floors because he once heard a story online about how a GM rewarded XP for that, and wants to get in on that.
So he tries it, pretty much every session. It really came to a head though, when a captured assassin revealed that he and his ilk have been following the "trail of unburied turds" that Sir Shitsalot left. This led to a loud and whining complaint about how the GM was punishing him for roleplaying his character.
Anyway, the cancer has since metastasized. Sir Shitsalot decided to procure a Heward's Handy Haversack to leave his brown nuggets of glory in, and to his credit, our GM spaced out ambusher encounters afterwards. However, four NPCs who met his ire (apparently because he thought that our GM wanted us to like them for some reason or another) got shit from the haversack either dumped on them or thrown at them. This of course has created predictable reactions, and after the 4th such incident, the rest of us decided to murder the fuck out of his character, where he gives this smug, shit-eating grin and says
>I was wondering how long it would take you guys to react that way. So, for my next character idea, I've got (X). We, however, decided that the next character in the group would have another player running him or her.
Josiah Morris
Like for example. We are planning a heist and finish the plans, so the DM moves the scene along. Suddenly this guy who hasn't been doing anything for the past five minutes demands that he be allowed to "finish." And he needs to calculate the weight tolerance of the material we are buying to swap out for the actual loot. We all just stare at him and tell that isn't relevant. We don't go into specific numbers because the system has no rules for it anyway and the DM is more focused on the difficulties of the plan, expense, opponents we might face, etc. It's literally some shit you would hand wave or not even think about, but this guy did shit like this constantly.
Maybe it was demanding that he be allowed to finish unloading his car. Or maybe his boat. Regardless, it was an action that no consequence and could simply stated or assumed at a later point. It was pure nonsense. The only reason we didn't kick him out of the group was because he didn't seem to be doing it antagonistically, and he didn't do it all the time. It was just fucking bizzare.
