Multispecies Parenting

>one of the maids had their head fall off today
>she was a zombie so it's fine but she says she's feeling stronger somehow
>is this kid powering us up or something?
>she is thirteen, how could she make greater undead by accident?
>all attempts to let us die for good have failed so we just gave up
>our power ups seems to have awakened some half remembered bits ouf our old selves
>even me, some ho-hum skeleton out of the crypt, is picking up snatches of chivalric oaths and stories
>kid loves them, makes bed time a nightmare

>local came by today
>took the girl for walk around town
>it's good for her to talk with the living
>she seems much happier and she won't shut up about him
>she's fifteen, I'm glad she found a friend who doesn't need help finding bits of themselves they dropped
>can't help but feel uneasy though so I tells the head less maid tail them
>we call her Maggy
>not sure why, the name just stuck
>got to ask the kid to help me with these roses
>growing out of hand
>seriously need to trim the roses and buff out the bone scratches
>I'd ask the gardener but he grew claws last year and sleeps in the moat

>kid is nineteen now
>some of the maid zombies say it's high time she found a man
>don't like or trust that
>no idea why
>I suspect it's just some shit they heard from one of the butlers
>think he was a bard in life
>kid came running back just now
>better go see what's wrong
>it's a knight's duty
>sure, my head is full of flowers now but I was a knight at one point
>I think
> how else did I die in this armor?

continue

I was hoping I could slip away and sleep. Fuck.

>chaos reigns in Bomblefook Castle
>poor kid was too trusting
>thought he would understand and accept her being a latent necromancer
>turns out he was a paladin's page
>harsh words were said and now she's hear crying into a flowery skeleton
>even ignoring the thorns
>the idiot
>my little idiot
>takes her a bit to cool down but she does
>set plans to leave immediately
>the gardener found some misshappen skeletons in the moat which she raised
>seriously what is that thing?
>did a griffin drown in there?
>whatever, should be enought to ger out
>sending Maggy with her
>I'll stay behind with the others and slow down the coming attack
>we haven't told her yet, said we were getting horses and we'd catch up
>she'd only throw another tantrum
>the living shouldn't be this so attatched to the dead
>I made sure to sneak a rose in her hair, the first she ever gave me

well that's not a very nice ending
fuck you

>why am I still here?
>the paladin I recognized
>same fuck that offed the girl's mother
>lost my head to that paladin
>like to think I put up a fight with my half-forgotten swordplay
>honestly his own fault for assuming my defeat
>playing actually dead hurt my pride but I'll get over it
>mob came and went with their hymns and torches
>everyone else is gone
>found the gardener hacked to pieces in front of his moat
>wish the bastard had picked a name so I could leave him more than just a rose at his makeshift grave
>did the same for anyone else I could find
>bet the next guys who come through will wonder about that
>she should be in the next town over by now, maybe the next country
>skeletons shouldn't feel lonely

and that is why you don't get a story
THE END

>not needing to sleep is more inconvenient than you'd think
>leaves an old pile of bones, rags, rust and plants to think
>it was easy to trace the route I'd first carried her through, even without all the snow or new buildings
>things could have been different
>they could have also been worse
>we did the best we could, right?
>we couldn't raise her normal but she came out great, right? Besides her taste in boys.
>dead people shouldn't be raising the living anyways
>or vice-versa
>but it was fine in the end, wasn't it?
>strange things come to mind when you're a skeleton walking to another country
>but I made a promise and I mean to keep it

>the walk was dull but I found distractions
>turns out walking on the seafloor didn't bother the roses at all
>I figured they were magic but I didn't think they glowed in the dark
>have to show the kid that when I find her
>if I found her?
>I never really told her to stay anywhere specific
>that was dumb of me
>nothing but foliage in my empty skull
>and the pecking of seagulls when I resurfaced
>winged rats, I tell you

>took me until I hit another town to wonder about the roses
>they couldn't have been magicked up on it's own, right?
>must have been another one of the kid's accidents, though this one wasn't as disasterous as the undead dog fiasco
>no, it's nothing, she was 10 an-
>I'll tell you later
>point is, I got to this town and no one even batted an eye at a flower filled pile of bones
>and then I found out it's owned by Count Streak or Strake or something
>and the kid's right at that window, flower in her hair and everything
>I try to call but she can't seem to hear me and I try to get the guards to give me an audience but you know how wights are
>I almost lost another rib when they told me she was getting married

I think I'm losing a rib here too. Holy cow this is great.

>and that's my story
>and also why I dug you guys up
>I can't just wander off without knowing more
>no, I really can't theres this weird fog around town that gives me the rattles
>I want to know what's going on
>why is she at this Scahb guy's castle?
>why doess everyone look just shy of keeling over?
>where's Maggy and why isn't she with the kid?
>why is she marrying this clown?
>why didn't the kid answer me?
>look, I know it wasn't the kindest move to put roses in your mouths and raise you from the dead but come on!
>I found you dead in the well and even got you a new crossbow to match that holy symbol you wouldn't let go of
>you should really put that down, your hand is burning
>and you, with the doofy hat
>walking around again is better than being filled with arrows in someone's basement right?
>I just want to see my kid again and hear that she's alright
>and if not, I want to strangle Count Straiddel to death with the thorniest rose I've got
>then you can get back to being dead or whatever
>we have a deal?

And that's all I've got. I did not picture myself looking through a bony lens today. Night Veeky Forums. I'll try to sell my friends Lord Bomblefook's Wild Ride for our Halloween game.

I'm guessing he's either a Paladin and doesn't know it, or the roses are part of how the girl's power is channeled.

this rattles my bones in a good way user

You can thank every PC we lost trying to take on Ravenloft.

Magnificent work, writefriend. I hope the next chapter is as thrilling to play as this much was to read.

Best goddamn adventure hook I've ever read

My current character is a barbarian centaur who adopted a young human girl and is raising her as his own. He's kinda doing it as a way to atone for his past as a slave trader. It makes for good motivation and around her, he doesn't swear, drink, or kill.

10/10 would read again

Now this is just great user, let's raise the cups in you honour

Had a character once who was the son of a wealthy noble, and as a teen stole some of the family money to buy and free a high elf child. Not sure what to do, the family just adopted her.

Magnificent.

...

Someone screen cap this!

Yeah, really.

What comic?

Put me in the screencap!

Hi internet :^]

My wizard character was raised by a lich. Turns out his parents made the lich swear at sword point to take care of their kid before they died. Said lich was lawful evil and decided the kid could make a decent lab assistant one day anyhow.

After a lot of trial and error, undead wet nurses, and magical experiments that would make Rick and Morty look like high school physics class Soren became a sociopathic wizard and was send out into the world to get some practical experience.

>elf slave what do
>free her of course

Finally, someone got the correct answer.

...

Thanks

Unicorn Jelly. A shit webcomic, but the setting is pretty neat.
unicornjelly.com