Good afternoon and welcome everyone to Veeky Forums, the board where everything is made up and the character sheets don't matter! That's right, the character sheets mean nothing because the DM is railroading!
Today we're playing a game called Scenes from a Hat.
Pickup lines from party members OTHER than the bard.
I'd like to channel some positive energy into you baby.
The undead are not the only thing you're turning :3
Necro version:
The undead are not the only ones that rise in your presence.
I'll lay hands on you all night long.
How about we include your horse, babe? I can wildshape into anything
That Guy tells his character's backstory.
[just two knife edges scraping together]
"...and she's originally from Equestria..."
You know why they call me a barbarian? Because I'm a savage in the sack
>...my parents were killed off...
"So yeah he killed his parents because they were holding him back, then he burned down the orphanage he was living is because......"
I came from (insert slum here) and rose my way up to be the prodigy fencer in the land
"After being kidnapped and raped, she snuck away on a pirate vessel, and learned the ways of bardic magic. She then used her amazing charisma to make a trade empire, and has outposts all across (pathfinderworld)'s ports."
(Paraphrased from an actual backstory I got once. He also demanded to be a kitsune who fought with katanas.)
Probably not too long before these threads are going to be moved to /qst/.
really nice
" . . . but my character actually is a fallen god, more or less. She is the zooanthropomorphic personification of deceit and backstabbing"
WHEN THE GODS WAR AMONG THEMSELVES, TROUBLE ARISES FOR MORTALS
When Allfather-YoMama fell upon the Great Old Fuck-Wolf in a frenzy, the beast was prolapsed by His world tree. Eons of wolf-hole-aged butt batter were unleashed in a torrent and fell down from the heavens to earth. One such splatter crashed through the window of a newborn princeling and enveloped the child. The baby was destroyed! And from where he once lay lept forth my character, clad only in royal baby.
AND SO AROSE THE GREAT HERO "TROUBLE FOR MORTALS"!
Inappropriate reasons for the Barbarian to rage.
Too drunk to get an erection
Depending on the campaign there's a good chance I'd ok this.
>He
Odd, I usually associate rapecentric backstories with bad female players.
Too much talk, not enough kill
A case of the Mondays
Watching the last season of Game of Thrones.
your thread
His Rage ended.
Critical successes at mundane tasks.
>you critically succeed your Use Microwave check
>the hotpocket doesn't burn your tounge
You enjoy your meal at the inn so well that 30% of all other patrons sitting within 5 meters want what you're having.
>You critically succeed at using the internet
>You manage to avoid taking troll-bait, and their sad attempts to enrage fizzle out.
>20 on animal handling
You ride your horse so well that you catch her staring at you wistfully from the stables.
Is there a skill for spamming the same topic in every Whose Line thread? If so, Drew, I gotta tell ya, natural fuckin' 20 there buddy.
Just because you've been here to see the same scene used doesn't mean I'm not getting different replies or people catching them for the first time. If you have issue, you could just ignore the thread, or better yet hide it.
Non-combative random night encounters you wish you could avoid.
The orc failing a con save on whatever he ate last night
The party rogue taking a -3 to all combat maneuvers because they caught chlamydia from the tavern wench
The dragon the bard seduced keeps scrying to find the party, and invite him to dinner.
>"When you awake everything is gone."
*Homes and Watson wake up in the middle of the night while camping*
Homes: Watson, what do you see in the sky.
Watson: Well, stars.
H: What does that make you think of?
W: Well, perspective I guess, seeing suns that far away reduced to specs of light. What about you?
H: Theft. Some bugger nicked the tent.
Reasons why the alchemist, barbarian, and bard are no longer allowed to plan anything.
"Right, so we melt our way through the first vault door with the smuggled ampules"
"Then I smash the guards faces in, right?"
"That's right! And then I can use my bardic magic to fake the voice-locked inner door..."
"And we get the treasure!"
"WE HAVE A FUCKING INVITATION YOU IDIOTS!"
>You do realize his was supposed to be a wedding right?
>Oh yeah, we got carried away and figured the Prince and Princess would like one last party before being lame
>You bought fifteen hookers! Then gave them all potions that made them incredibly horny!
"My animal companion isn't the only one hung like a horse"
"I said 'thorobred horse', not 'thermonuclear whores!'"
"How about we serve the dragon breakfast, and then roofie it?"
bredy gud