>A naiad enters the city's annual bikini contest and wins thanks to her otherworldly beauty, but her true nature is revealed, which causes a huge diplomatic incident between humans and feys
How would your party defuse the situation before a human/fey war breaks out?
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Implying "fey" is one nation, or that they give a shit about diplomatic relations.
They certainly give a shit about one of theirs being retroactively disqualified for no good reason despite being admittedly sexier than all the other contestants.
Sounds exactly like the kind of shit the fey would pull.
You know the post count shows you're OP, right
Why would that be a problem? OPs can't reply to their own threads now? When was that rule created?
Is that supposed to be a rebuttal ?
If so what's the argument?
i don't see why Op can't defend his premise. (check this out i will do a magic and raise post count now)
You know that your post shows that you're retarded, right?
so?
...
Throw a city-wide festival/orgy, invite the fey
I suspect nobody will have an issue with them afterwards
>An OP stays in the thread and continues engaging with the conversation he created.
What a terrible and unprecedented turn of events!
i-is he laughing at me?
>Illegally enter bikini contest
>Cause diplomatic crisis that threatens war
>bikini contest=war
t-this is bait right? No one would be retarded enough to do a plot like that a DM. Are you reserving this for April? That would make more sense...
I deal 30d crushing damage in a 256 yard radius that's what.
dumb munchkin
feys are really really petty
fairy tales and legends are full of stuff like that
Wanna know what his name is
Guess
archmage Oppenheimer
REKREATIONUL
This is actually a good story for our party, we have a lot of ties to both the fey and the local human population.
I think we would try to diffuse the situation by hosting our own fair which included a beauty pageant, a strong mans contest, archery, wrestling, fencing, jousting, cattle judging, largest pumpkins, pie eating, drinking etc.
We would of course invite all of the local feys and humans, and hire mercenaries from somewhere else to keep the peace and hand out prizes to the winners of all the competitions.
Certainly their is enough stuff their that both humans and feys could win their fair share of competitions and it would bring the two communities together.
Unless the contest had a humans only rule the humans getting a slap
But the fey would win at everything because they're better at everything, and then the humans would get mad
Oh, you were just pretending to be retarded.
meant for
Iron
how about political marriage?
Marriage settles that kind of stuff
>The naiad was actually male
Maybe, but hopefully everyone has so much fun that it doesn't matter.
Another thought I had is that at the fair we could get both fey and human chiefs to sell their culinary creations at the event and some of the humans might decide they like mushroom stuffed snails and the fey might decide they like chocolate cake and the two groups might bond over food as well.
*yawn*
now that's interesting
There would have to be a hostile political climate beforehand for this to even be remotely reasonable. Things like the fey using it as pretext for 'liberating' some fairy minority under human governance because they already planned on doing it in the first place. Maybe the humans are actually racist and this seemingly irrelevant incident is the straw on the camel carrying years of oppression. Maybe beauty is of extreme importance in fey society and bikini pagents are just ritualized means of expressing social and political power, so the fey's expulsion is the equivalent of exiling them. Get creative
YOU may be drowning in boypussy but not all of us have that chance. Let a man dream, man.
The fae might take that though.
1000 years of experience vs 40 is hardly a fair experience.
>not showing the braid
I'm actually building this character right now.
Which is better
>30d crushing at 256 meters
>8d cor at 1 km
diplomatic relations with the fey aren't really possible, but offending them is a real possibility.
it's why real world cultures usually left offerings and rites to appease them. there's your answer
aren't you getting tired of posting that meme?
It's been almost ten years. Four years since it became a mainstream meme, it stopped being funny a long time ago. You're giggling on your own.
I was a trap loving faggot before the term trap even existed. This is my way of life, this my duty and mission.
I can't find the source even using the filename plus the image data
FUCK
>How would your party defuse the situation before a human/fey war breaks out?
Rules are rules the Naiad will be given the beauty queen crown, only if she turns it down the award will go to the human contestant instead. Crown is made of cold iron.
At least you are honest
No uncensored version as far as I know.
Do you know who the artist is, though?
use iqdb
Look, it's just not funny. You can stop shitposting about traps altogether. Your private sexuality is what it is, but the joke you've turned it into has worn off a long time ago.
Have the common decency to only shitpost in your designated boards.
I don't think they're gonna go to war over it, but it's probably still wort diffusing.
Give the naiad the trophy, she didn't break the rules. Thus she and the fey are happy.
But then to keep the humans (and other mere mortals) happy, change the rules for next time into magical and nonmagical categories. Then the fey don't get to complain that they're being discriminated against like they would if you separated it into "fey and human", or "each species gets its own."
Instead, you're discriminating on the basis of "You have an advantage that others don't, so you compete on the level of people that have that advantage."
As the fey can't turn off their magical charm, they can't enter the nonmagic contest. And that also leaves the magical contest open for humans and bored godlings and whatever else who want to have a go at out magicking the fey.
O FUG
That's reasonable.
Are you 100% sure that's how your party would proceed?
I like this idea
Hand out some bribes to human leaders to have them keep the plebs in line and you got a plan.
Hold a new beauty contest between humans and fey. My party will be the new judges.
Euo3 something like that, he only made shitty big breasted women not so well drawn until that point. He'll probably switch to traps now that he gained success.
You're a lifesaver, user
Is it even Illegal? Did they put a rule allowing only humans or something?
>bikini contest
Wouldn't happen because I don't make medieval cultures that are exactly the same as modern ones aside from people still using swords.
This.
Medieval people bathed nude.
...
>not running your setting as a comedic fantasy anime setting
Pleb as hell.
>implying it has to be medieval
of all the things to stop suspending disbelief over
a lot of things in fantasy aren't a matter of verisimilitude they're a matter of tone
>How would your party defuse the situation before a human/fey war breaks out?
Summon a demonic lawyer to arbitrate the case.
PERFECT!
The only thing that Fey and Humans hate more than each other is Demons!
They'll work together to destroy the Outsider!
The Inquisitor, Paladin, and Monk try to get to the bottom of whether or not the naiad was technically (or intentionally, for that matter) cheating, the female sorcerer uses mage hand to drop the pants of anyone staring too much at the bikini-clad contestants, the Merfolk Aasimar is confused and the Ranger tries to use his stealth bonus to sneak into the changing rooms.
Hold a conference and tell everyone that the point of a bikini contest is being the sauciest dame on the stage. If we get angry at a contestant and outraged at her for being sexy then you ignore the point. If the human contestants think it's unfair, then tell them to just get hotter for the next time. Then hold a multiracial bikini showcase right there.
that sounds fun
>trying to resolve conflicts with rational discourse rather than manipulation and bribery
A war between humans and fey because of a bikini contest?
I slap the DM irl. Give the OP a slap too for good measure.
Is either side offering to pay me? If not, then it's none of my business.
grow up, dumb cunt
>How would your party defuse the situation before a human/fey war breaks out?
Kill everyone involved. I find that usually solves a lot of problems pretty quickly. And creates new ones, but murder can handle them too.
Yes, I am 100% sure that's how my party would proceed.
My party consists of
>A young woman who is mostly concerned with being cute and doing cute things in social situations, and who actively shuns the spotlight. Irrelevant.
>A minor noble whose player is very well spoken, but has difficulty paying attention. He is the supposed decisionmaker, and does it with a great deal of flair and panache, but usually rolls with whatever we tell him when he goes "wait what are we doing/why is this important" at the end of the half hour long OOC conversation on what to do and tailors his IC actions to suit. Also irrelevant.
>A "reformed" criminal and the only other person who both cares and pays attention enough to be a relevant decisionmaking entity. Generally fairly reasonable, not at all chaotic randumb, and only plies his erstwhile trade against enemies he can get away with it on.
>My character, an engineer who solves practical problems.
>Out rules lawyering the fae
lol
The war will be settled by two competing carriage washes. One for the Fey and one for the Humans.
The one with the more satisfied customers wins the war.
Purge the fairy scum, of course.
By trying to figure out what the hell a bikini is.
crown her the winner user, you don't wanna mess with the fey
>A naiad enters the city's annual bikini contest and wins thanks to her otherworldly beauty, but her true nature is revealed,
There's really no good reason not to declare her the winner. In the future forbidding magical glamours and illusions would probably make sense, but retroactively disqualifying someone should only be done in extreme cases (and this isn't one).
>Implying that mermaids aren't the ones running the competition
>Implying that the Sirens didn't intentionally write the rules to dick over their water dwelling cousins
>Implying that this wasn't a ploy by Oberon to get back at humanity after they banned his annual hunt from the mortal realm
>Implying the other contestants aren't fighting to have miss Naiad's win reinstated saying that it is bigoted to have disqualified her in the first place
>Especially contestant #5, the fourth runner up, who'd been making goo-goo eyes at her the entire event
>Implying implications
We don't need to do anything. We'll just let the die fall where it may.
Of course. The king should settle the matter by marrying off his most beautiful son to a naiad princess.
Bully her, obviously.
>Be frumpy, ugly, Naiad/River Dryad by fey standards.
>Can't compete with the other Nymphs, especially the Wood Nymph/Ijana who has tits so massive she has to throw them over her shoulder to run.
>Have to go strutting into the Human City's so the ugly normies will call me beautiful.
"Oooh, wow, you beat a bunch of Humans in a beauty contest, woooowwww, amaaazing. Congrats, you're the best looking potato."
Golf clap, etc.
>Let's pointlessly antagonise the fae for trying to get along with humans.
Let's not.
why does that fae have a boob on her back?
Where do you think you are, newfriend?
what part of 'otherworldly beauty' don't you understand??
the back boob part
So, you think the "fey nation" would start a war over one of their kind getting disqualified retroactively from a beauty contest because she hid her true identity? Sounds like an awful waste of resources for such a petty "insult".
We've had two-piece swimwear since at least Roman times
It's an "Ijanas" a species of spanish fey/forest nypmh, "Female creatures of Cantabrian (northern Spain) folklore, they live in caves, are always naked, and have breasts so long, that to walk they must put them over their shoulders. Very greedy and unquiet, they spend their time looking for food, destroying beehives in search of honey and entering houses without permission. Yet, unless molested, they are not particularly dangerous, just very much annoying."
well I learned something today, thanks user.
We'd remind the townsfolk that one does not fuck with the fey and if we do, our crops will be blighted, our daughters and sons ugly and infertile and our kings mad.
Then with the help of the local clergy, convince them to go pray their problems away.
Peasant/10
>Disqualify the fey for illegal entry under a false name
>Start two more tiers of bikini contest: the existing one for mundane beautification only, one for permanent magical traits and enhancements, and an anything-goes category (with complimentary mental reinforcements to all guests and judges)
Boom. Problem solved, everybody happy.
You can do even better than that really.
youtube.com
>Cheating=getting along
>Holding people to a fair standard = bullying
Good gravy you're an orbiter