Why are adventurers the best parents?

Why are adventurers the best parents?

I wouldn't know, the current genocidal ruler who over through the council of kings was raised by adventurers

>posts something that's blatantly untrue and expects people to tell him why it's true
What was the point of making this thread?

Because its easy to put together a party with diverse skills when half the kingdom and a generation of monsters all share the same father.

Makes figuring out inheritance and succession a bitch though.

Male ones, maybe. And that's if there's a missus waiting back at home with the kid. Female ones are notoriously shit because due to reasons I hope are obvious many of them would be single mothers, and single mothers in our own reality are already cancerous without constantly exposing their children to life threatening dungeons and monsters.

To even remotely save them, you have to somehow make them pure despite constantly being surrounded by men with no better option (for a real world analogue: women in the army are turbosluts) and include a househusband in the mix (or at the very least a husband with a normal job like being a baker or whatever).

Think about it in terms of social interaction.

Kid's getting bullied, cries to his mom. Mom brings kid to the bully's house, and has a talk with the bully's mom. Thing is, the kid's mom is 6'2" and can put her fist through a man's skull with ease, and single-handedly drove off a bandit gang after breaking both their leader's arms with her bare hands.

That's why adventurers are the best parents.

You forgot
>kid becomes a momma's boy who never learns to stand up for himself

That could happen if she doesn't bother teaching him adventuring skills and fostering an independent spirit.

> kis becomes a wizard.

Ftfy

Because they come with the best uncles.

>darkest dungeon fanart
>character have eyes

temptinggoblet.exe

>no stable employment
>migrants, no steady residence
>no community ties
> sociopathic tendencies
> frequently resort to violence to resolve mundane disputes

Adventurers are terrible parents.

Independent spirit you say...
>I don't want to be an adventurer mom!
>I want to be a farmer!

>Urgh, pala-dad I told you I'm called Dark Lord Un'dedain now!
>It's not a faze! You are the worst!

>Being a Knight of the Dawn Star was always your dream!
>I want to go to the bard's college! I want to be a skald!

Tangentially related, due to a shenanigan my wizard has gained an orphan. He's about ready to go to some very dangerous and non-child-friendly locales with some unscrupulous characters. What do?

Just have to make dangerous situations into a game.

I wouldn't say they're the best parents, I only have my character's parents as adventurers because I never considered it to be a necessary detail until it was, and had to asspull a reason WHY my character has their own logic and behaviors that differ from the racial template. Best answer I could come up with was that they were raised on the road and had veritable badasses to both protect them and teach him their skills, should it very reasonably happen that the guardians TPK and the bastard is left alone in the woods somewhere.
Does your wizard approve of the shenanigan and/or actually care about the orphan? Because if the answer is 'no' then you can have him be a Gru-type where they don't see the kids as much past potential collateral or a possible means to an end, then have them warm up to the bugger while waiting for the keikaku* to unfold.

*TL note: Keikaku means plan

Because they can teach you all you need to know to succeed in life, which is something your real parents can't.

>phase*

A high level adventurer may not always be there for their kid, but they can unleash on whomever dares touch a hair on their head.
My current character is a wizard with many (adult) children who's a bit worried the people she works with(evil team)/against (even eviller people) might try to get to her through her children. So some of her bigger spells, she never uses, in case she has to use a secret weapon against some kid-napping/-killing punk.

Because raising a child is the greatest adventure of all.

>>no stable employment
My fighter, Horn, is a skilled tailor when not fighting evil, and besides has enough money accumulated that he can live comfortably and support a family for the rest of his 150ish years. Further, he can easily obtain work from any of his close friends in high positions of power.

>>migrants, no steady residence
Horn was gifted a sizeable patch of land in a developing town after summoning his earth elemental friend to help build fortifications. He built a nice estate with a home for himself, a guest house, a stable, and a delightful garden perfect for kids to play in.

>>no community ties
Horn is close personal friends with the governor and many other settled adventurers and business owners. As well, his brother is a powerful lord, and he has adventuring cousins all over the land.

>> sociopathic tendencies
Not true.

>> frequently resort to violence to resolve mundane disputes
Despite being a fighter (and by his own estimation the strongest, fastest, and best looking warrior in the world), Horn tries to make friends with everyone as much as possible and fights only as a last resort.

>Adventurers are terrible parents.
Horn is a father of three, potentially more in the future.

They teach kids the values of working hard for a goal, they toughen them up against the harsher things in this world, and if they're adventurers, chances are they'll instill motivation rather than laziness in their kids.

Not that guy but Horn sounds nice. My group would probably like him, I know our fighter would at least.

Depends what setting. In Warhammer 40k RPGs, being the son or daughter of an adventurer is pretty good as compared to living on Catachan or something.

>Dark Heresy
If you are the child of interrogator or noble, you can be sent to the Schola and then go onto something else. You can get exciting opportunities such as the chance to execute your best friend as a commissar or dying because GW doesn't like as a battle sister. It's not bad as compared to some of the hell-holes out in the universe. Otherwise, the acolytes may have enough connections to ensure the child lives a relatively decent life.

>Rogue Trader
You either get sent off to boarding school or get taught by your parents on board your dynastic flagship. I suppose you can end up in the Schola too. You do have a chance of being murdered by your siblings for your warrant.

>Death Watch
Marines don't have children, although I suppose they could adopt an orphan and bring it back to Erioch after the orphan passes a purity test. Then you get to do all sorts of cool stuff serving the Deathwatch for the rest of your life. Not too bad considering the state of the Jericho Reach.

>Only War
You get to be a white shield or get sent to the schola. You can have some fun though, learning how to load mortars and kill heretics. I suppose it sucks if your parents decide to move to Agripinaa or if the Inquisition executes your regiment for seeing things they shouldn't have seen.

>Black Crusade
Fun for the whole family! You can get cool mutations such as constantly being on fire that doesn't hurt you, the wealth of star systems, imaginary friends that seem to know everything about you, and all sorts of cool toys and pets like Fluffy the Flesh Hound and Abaddon the Despoiler action figures that constantly try to get you go to on a black crusade. You get to hang out with your parents' fun friends such as Skyrax the World Killer and learn valuable skills such as summoning daemons

Ugh this shitty meme got forced into being something.

After being a GM for shitty, unlikeable characters for so long, my goal with Horn was to be outstandingly likeable. Of course not everyone liked him but most people did; he was basically a mix of Zap Branagan and Gaston, with the naivité and childlike joy of Finn the Human.

Reminder being a brave, accomplished adventurer with a newborn child is the fantasy equivalent of having only two days till retirement.

My adventurer didn't become a parent. She was a parent and grandparent before she became an adventurer.

Favored Soul Sorcerer Grandma is a Go.

Oh shit, never noticed the Bab in the pic.

Is this a stealth Dwarf Fortress thread?

>tfw can't summon demons to consort with

Or the origin story of your new PC

Stop being wrong, my mama and papa are the best parents.

Any questions?

Massive mammaries.

BLEACHED

This. Only way to make sure the babe has optimal nutrition.

"So you were born with magic, rather than going to any kind of school? How is that possible?"
"My mother was an adventurer. She got exposed to a lot of spells while pregnant with me."

Why does that sound disgustingly awful?

Because it sounds less like the origin of a sorcerer, and more like the origin of a mutant?

Because it resembles a dreadfully contrived Mary Sue.

Yeah kinda rapey too

Sorcerers are basically mutants anyways.

I just think the idea of, "I can cast Burning Hands because my mom tanked it once" is funny.

>Best
Nigga you best be joking

That one of the PCs is doing an excellent job raising a child sex slave may have more to do with him being kindly cleric than a murderhobo like the rest of the party.

Adventurers are bad parents, retired adventurers are great though.

They just are.

...

>his inner demons are not sufficient company

Because murderhoboing can be a valuable skill in most RPG settings.

Just gotta start early with them.

Spoiler.
She wins.

wheres the rest of it then?

Nextwave by Warren Ellis

danka

...

You assuming that everyone with a differing political view is /pol/ is more annoying and disruptive to threads than actual /pol/ posters.

Adventurer parents are both the best and worst parents.

On the plus side, they're often of a diverse skill set and worldview. Physical education and play can be handled by Fighters with play fighting while simultaneously drilling proper technique. meanwhile the wizards teach mathmatics and other disiplines, rangers teach you how to forage your own food, and the rogue always brings you nice presents. Nation and Race mean little when you're introduced to a great deal of them at a young age.

Basically if there's any recipe for being the perfect hero in an Vidja RPG. Its being born to a band of adventurers.


On the negitive, Danger. DANGER DANGER DANGER. The above only happens to the strong, the lucky, and/or the retired.

They could be killed on the job, they could be killed by those seeking revenge, they could be killed by disease, curses. Its an Osha/Health and Safty nightmare.


Though the lucky ones that survive and have a well upbringing are truly blessed individuals, probably the strongest and most capable mortals we can produce.

>You can't just assume everyone's /pol/ you're worse than the /pol/ posters!
>original post is blatantly /pol/
every time

>never home
>expose kids to danger if they bring them along with them
>have weird dangerous friends
>hunted by enemies, being their kid is being the boy hostage
Raise yo gotdamn kids nigga

they are blatantl /pol/ though

>Just imagined Osha getting involved in adventurer business
Jesus Christ the paper work alone would be a nightmare