What would they say to each other?

Well Veeky Forums? What would they say to each other and who pulled it off better?

Why don't we have the missing one be the judge?

Did someone call me?

They might start with "Hello".

>an elf and a dwarf

Nothing good, presumably.

reform the Nights Watch into Argent Crusade 2: Holy Boogaloo

The elf sneers down condescendingly because he's a fucking elf elitist shithead racist stick in the mud looking at a stupid drunk pile of generic defects only to exclaim and stomp away when he gets shrekd in a battle of wits.

Paladin recognizes the elf man as a colossally douchy jackass and only interact with for hard buesness affairs while treating the dwarf as a viceful but ultimately good person who can strive to be even better.

Ghost judge sees that elf is 9/10 morally justified for whatever dubious things he has ordered or done but offhandedly thinks to himself that he doesn't need to be such a stick in the mud about it.

Dwarf has never committed a crime.

>Dwarf has never committed a crime.
Patricide is a crime.

Tyrion the High Elf is actually supposed to be a very charismatic, likable guy. His brother Teclis is portrayed as rather jealous at how well Tyrion does in social situations.

They'd probably be pretty cordial. People forget that Tyrion (elf) is actually a charisma beast who even has alright relations with the dwarves, only ever really dissing them once, when he was grieving his dead daughter and thought they could have saved her. It's just hard to picture this when you're watching powerlessly while he eats an entire unit of your Chaos Warriors.

Tyrion and Tyrion are both pretty sane and likable compared to most of their respective settings. They'd talk about their ungodly difficult relatives and the weather.

It's already the Argent Crusade.
>Horrible atrocities happening right before me?
>Not my problem, guys, I'm neutral
At least the Night's Watch has an excuse for it, though.

Well, given that the guy on the left managed to fuck up everything by cucking his king, I imagine that the guy on the right would feel like he was dealing with his idiot brother. Which means they'll either hit it off well, or hate each other.
Aren't you dead? And even if you aren't does anyone actually care?
Oh, a rogue Stormcast Eternal! Did you get lost from your unit of Defenestrators? Here, I may be blind, but I'm the Chadgod of Light, so I'm sure we can get you home.

>Dwarf has never committed a crime.

He is literally a rapist, murderer who is openly sadistic and fantasizes about rape and torture near constantly.

The problem is that Tyrion's social acumen is mainly portrayed off-screen.

But yeah. Tyrion is all about having his complete cockbagginess hidden. He's charming, beautiful, skilled, has a high social position, and understands the games played at court.
But the blood of Aneirion hit him HARD and he wants to kill shit so fucking bad.

Teclis is basically supposed to be "What if Raistlin was just a dick instead of trying to take over the world", but because he's the protagonist so often he just comes off as snarky.

But it's a crime I approve of.

>He is literally a rapist, murderer who is openly sadistic and fantasizes about rape and torture near constantly.
Source on this? I never heard of the rape and torture stuff. Even disregarding that he shot his dad with a fucking crossbow so I think that qualifies but I can't imagine him raping anybody since any woman over the age of 10 can just pick him up and dwarf toss him out a window

It's pretty rampant in the book, basically pick any random Tyrion chapter after he leaves King's Landing and there's going to be rape and/or torture (Or murder) fantasies.

As for rape, some of the descriptions of his encounters with prostitutes make it quite clear he's enjoying causing them pain more than he is the sex.
For a specific example he fucks a slave who tells him she doesn't want to, knows its wrong afterwards, and is mostly bemused that she literally flees the room afterwards.

Dude's fucked in the brain

Oh shit, I should probably tell when this happens.

In A Dance With Dragons, I believe it's chapter 22.

>It's a "Tyrion rapes a sex slave, because he hates women" chapter
>It's a "Tyrion causes a civil war to advance his social station" chapter
>It's a "Tyrion has a man cooked into stew" chapter
>It's a "Tyrion goes at great lengths to keep a psychopath manchild on the throne" chapter
>It's a "Tyrion ruins Penny's life for shits and giggles" chapter
>It's a "Tyrion feels slighted because his child bride whose family his family just butchered doesn't want to fuck him, but feels really proud about not raping her" chapter

>It's a "Barristan fucks up in a single day everything Daenerys worked to achieve for a year" chapter

>It's a Daenarys chapter period.

Pleb alert.