Would you play in a game where you are part of the orcish or other "Savage humanoid" horde to rape the land and pillage...

Would you play in a game where you are part of the orcish or other "Savage humanoid" horde to rape the land and pillage the women?

Can I pillage the men, instead?

no

I mean, if you're going to pillage them you might as well rape them first.

Yes, I never experienced a proper evil/ monster campaign before and that sounds fun as fuck.

I usually gravitate towards that when it's an option. Lawful races bore me. I've always been a bigger fan of primitive/savage cultures and races in fantasy. I usually don't go full "rape the town, pillage the houses, and burn the women" though because that's often disruptive. The paladin can still kiss my tribal-tattooed ass though.

How do I make sure that they're hard enough for penetration, though?

Keep patting it. Like an old person with a smartphone

Is there another way to play?

>Not playing a Lawfull Evil Character
>Not beeing a nice guy and great ally to be around while swaying over the party to the idea of an authoritarian society
>Not showing the good guys how their society is on the verge of collapse and beeing overrun by monsters and savages
>Not slowly corrupting their sense of morality to create an autocratic state with you at its head

As long as there's more going on than just the murdering and the pillaging, sure.

How does uniting the orc clans under a unified banner sound?

>Not playing the CG Barbarian
>Not being a charismatic ChadBro who protects the party
>Not teaching them how Freedom > Order
>Not developing a Bromance with the Rogue
>Not slowly winning over the stoic Lady Paladin with your charisma and swoleness before finally showing her what snu-snu means

But you can go ahead and keep telling them how being a tool of police states is awesome.

>try this
>DM thinks I'm attempting some sort of demon-king end game and assumes I've consorted with them in some way and uses this to justify a character death via surprise inquisition
>tell him I wasn't, that I passed everything asked in a zone of truth spell, and that it was dumb
>says oh well
>try again
>DM lays out laws/government/code that some country/group goes by
>point out flaws in current system that can be fixed, havent even gone full lawful evil yet
>apparently killed by lynch mob because I spoke out against the law
>"but they said that they themselves had problems with it"
>"oh well"
>try once more
>save village from bandits
>we end up staying longer than DM thought
>during this time we've all contributed in some way to their reconstruction
>my fighter ended up forming an actual guard/patrol regiment and began to "gain the trust of the men"
>am apparently assassinated from food poisoning because someone wanted my characters status as general in the village
>"We never made such a position though"
>oh well

Most of us left after that point. Others who didn't fit the exact mold the DM was wanting were being killed off as well, regardless of alignment, but that really ruined attempts to make LE characters for me.

Easily done. At the execution of the unwashed savage as well, to the thunderous roar of the crowd no less.

Cud b gud

>unwashed
I bathe every day, manlet. I've been to your "cities". Bunch of smelly little fucks who only wash once a week. The fuck is that? Why do you need these "bath houses"? What's wrong with the river?

>savage
No, shitting in a bucket your keep under your bed is savage.

This seems to be a problem with your DM mostly who doesnt want you to have any controll over your actions.

Especialy stuff like food poisoning. Come on.
Thats interresting if its lets say a non lethal poison to set up another plan or maybe let the party detect it.

But just "Lol youre dead" is shit DMing in a nutshell. Thats even stupider than the gygax school of "roll not to die"

I feel you mate.
Personally im fed up with all of my players playing characters that are 1. largley Chaotic and 2. largley situated in the neutral alignment.

They just dont commit to anything, even those characters that have a good alignment and clearly have morals are too apathetic to apply those morals to anyone but them.
Fucking CE dickass fairy goes about murdering people and the paladin just doesnt care because its not him doing it.

My party isnt all bad but this is the thing that pisses me off about them. The monk player is the only one who understands how to properly roleplay a lawfull character, or a good one for that matter, hell, any character with a conscience.

>beeing a tool of the police state
>Not becoming the police state, not by deceit or strength but by leading by example
>Not having the Lawfull Good Paladins believe you are a genuine force of good
>Not having the populance love you for the peace and prosperity you bring
>Not Exposing the corruption in the government only to replace it because you are pure of heart in your Quest for domination
>Not having the crowd cheer for you executing the villain and ushering in a new golden era

Keep telling yourself that personal freedom at the expanse of society will bring good in the end.
An evil character can do so much better than that.

Theres a reason conan became a King rather than a Cimmerian Chieftain you understand that right?

Theres a reason the Germanic tribes aped rome after destroying it.

Successfull Barbarians found Empires.
Unsuccessfull barbarians bemoan the superiority of Civilization.

No, having not put the wheel to popular use is savage. Having no great feats of architecture is savage. Having nothing than campfire stories of passed heroes and tales of combat with no drive for further innovation is fucking savage. You will die as you lived, in the dirt. While cities may reek of ammonia on the lower levels, it is the higher towers that the common, modern man strives for. It is the pursuit of power through political intrigue, professional perfection, martial mastery, and the selling of these goods and services therein to promote society as a whole that is civilization. And while you group together in your hovels speaking of the past and merely surviving in the present, the rest of the world is busy dreaming of the future.

Is that a copy of the latest ISIS recruitment ad?

Already am. You gotta have an equal mix of ass-kicking, warband politics, and Elf rape to do it successfully.

Show them boobs.