What's the worst your players or party have ever fucked up?
I'll go first
>be DMing >party needs to infiltrate castle to steal king's crown for a jewel embedded in it >the best time to do that is during an upcoming masquerade ball >they hear a rumor a local crime lord has extra invitations >they sneak their way into his illegal underground casino >cheat at every game >break into crime lord's office hoping to steal the invitations >he's right there >very large men start surrounding them >this wasn't even the lowest point >crime lord offers a two-part deal >find information on royal guard captain's new mistress in exchange for invitations >uncover the mole in my operation in three days or I'll have you killed for trying to cheat and rob me
Gavin Cooper
>day 1 >party is given the names of some likely suspects by lounge singer at crime boss's casino >on the way to the first suspect's house >notice a girl being menaced by some men in an alley >party steps in to help >non-lethal take down on the first gangbanger >decapitate the second one >the gangbangers and the girl are all horrified >girl runs away screaming bloody murder >warlock eldritch blasts her so she can't draw attention >kills girl they were trying to save >kill the other four gangbangers >attracts attention of town guards >all run for it >"I try to distract the guard by injuring other civilians so he helps them first!" >hunger of hadar >kills six more people >one player runs into a warehouse >player kills guard pursuing him and disguises himself as the guard >burns down the warehouse full of flammable liquids >becomes a fireball that starts to engulf all nearby buildings >another breaks into a home and takes a family hostage to try to negotiate >eventually all players escape and make it back to their safe house >they now have two days left to find the crime boss's mole before assassins start coming after them >the entire city is on full alert looking for them >nine more days until the masquerade
I don't know if they're stupid or they were trying to see if they could "break the game" or what but holy fuck I had a long, reflective drink after that shitshow
Blake Diaz
>DM practically begs us to not go to [location] >we go to [location] >we all get killed
i dont know what we expected
Andrew Howard
>find the information >fail to find the mole >crime lord kills the party >puts the invitations on the corpses
Ryan King
Maybe try writing in sentences like a human and I'll read your story.
Tyler Carter
My players once tried to distract a crowd with some acrobatics from the monk, failed at that, then had the paladin and druid fistfight while the rogue did sneaky stuff. One thing led to another, and a full scale riot broke out, with a good chunk of the city getting pillaged by freed slaves.
I miss those guys sometimes.
>on Veeky Forums >hates greentext Obvious bait still bait.
Luke Miller
>evil party (first mistake I know, shut up) >I'm a very intelligent Warlock >nobody ever listens to me >we attack a mind flayer with no preparations >I state that this is a bad idea >after narrowly surviving the mind flayer, we camp in the dungeon to heal >I state that this is a bad idea >we jump guns ablazin' out of our secured room after our rest is up, despite knowing that there are 4 full powered mind flayers outside >I state that this is a BAD FUCKING IDEA >I am the only one left alive (you'll never guess how everyone else died) >DM just has others roll new characters with no ties to my EVIL CULTIST >they are both neutral >we re-enter the mindflayer dungeon and kill the aboleth that ate them >the mcguffin we gained from our victory fortells the apocalypse >by "fortells" I mean that my elder god warlock patron uses the mcguffin to use my skull like a repressed priest uses an altarboy's anus >and by "apocalypse" I mean the coming of my elder god patron to this world >for some reason my new companions are distrustful of the tiefling they just met who spoke in tongues of the dark god he works for coming over for Christmas >somehow convince them to not kill me >somehow convince them to untie me >somehow convince them that I'm the only one who can stop the apocalypse (I am) and that it's in my best interest to not be absorbed by Daddy Tentacles (it is) >they finally sign a written contract that states that none of us will fucking kill each other because we are literally the only thing stopping Cthulu's third cousin from buttfucking reality >contract specifies not attacking each other >plus sharing gold and all that party stuff >fast forward a few sessions >I am evil and do evil things (how was I supposed to know that killing PoWs was a war crime?) >people I am currently working for do not approve >party attacks me as "a joke" >I get butthurt and run away to brood Continued in the next post where I start my decent into That Guy territory
Jackson Jenkins
This is probably the first green text I actually believe. Thank you OP, this gave me a hearty chuckle. Probably gonna steal this.
Lincoln Wood
>"I try to distract the guard by injuring other civilians so he helps them first!" >hunger of hadar I'm fucking dying
