Now You Fucked Up

I'll be honest, I have a special fondness for players who fire into the crowd. Collateral damage is hilarious damage.

>party assumes I've gone rogue and plot to kill me
>I don't trust the fuckers that broke their contract and Scry on them
>see they want to kill me
>both parties communicate through a neutral DMPC
>the party wants me to come back with no contracts, just a "sorry we attacked you it won't happen again"
>I want the party to sign contracts notorized by an extraplanar being with their souls as forfeit if they break the contract
>I may or may not have had current plans in the works to gain control of this being, but they didn't know that at the time IC or OoC
>regardless, we reach the happy medium of me tricking them into thinking that they have the source of my powers while I try to solve this whole apocalypse thing by myself
>turns out I can't
>scry the party one last time
>it's clear that even if I return and talk to them face to face they still want my character either crippled or dead
>I really liked playing this character for 8 months and get butthurt OoC
>I end the world because fuck you
>everyone gets Bad End and DM calls us all bastards
>we get drunk and make up, but agree to not play evil parties anymore or talk about this campaign (some of us -including me - are butthurt about it to this day because it was one of the most fun campaigns we'd had in a while)
So yeah, everybody fucked up in one way or another.

This feels just stupid enough to be something someone would do.

they sound fun to play with

It's not bait.

you're doing gods work user.

It's a long and not very interesting story but we accidentally led an entire orc clan into a trap which killed all but three of them. We had been trying to negotiate their passage over some sacred dwarf land they needed to pass through but negotiations fell through because most of the group is retarded.

At the end of the session where all the orcs died horribly, the DM gently reminded us that we'd had a staff of mass teleportation in our inventory for the last six or seven sessions.

sounds like you started it when you had the girl run away screaming while being saved

I came here directly from this session.

>Tomb of Annihilation
>First session with this new group
>Playing a Dwarven Life Cleric looking for the lost city of Maztica
>Rest of the party consists of an Ancients Paladin, an Arcane Knight, an Assassin, a Bard, and a Barbarian
>Paladin & Knight worked with me before character creations, tied our characters together during session zero, all are in the good alignment spectrum
>Rest of the party are randos the GM pulled from nowhere after a series of cancellations

This will prove to be our undoing.

>We get through the opening of the campaign, find ourselves in a Chultish port
> Dinosaurs everywhere, tons of new sights, very fish-out-of-water
>Party gets the idea to go check out the dinosaur races while we wait on a contact to meet us
>While we are there, Paladin decides she wants to race in the dinosaur race as a competitor and summons a dinosaur mount to do so
>Race goes fine, the whole party tries help
>Everyone but my character ends up betting huge amounts of gold on our Paladin winning
>Due to some spectacularly bad luck in the final stretch, our Paladin takes fourth place
>Everyone but I loses their bet

Continued...

This is where things start to go off the rails.

>Assassin doesn't like that he lost his bet
>Decides to steal back his losings by breaking into the race offices in broad daylight and chucking it all in a sack
>Doesn't tell the Paladin, the Knight, or I
>Does just as he plans and manages to murder three or four guards on the way in
>Barbarian and Bard want in on the action, join him in looting the offices
>A botched stealth check followed by another murder results in the alerting of the guards
>Suddenly, alarm bells are going off and guards are flooding the arena
>Thief books it out a window, manages to avoid getting caught
>Barbarian and Bard are so loaded down with gold, they fail to get away
>The Paladin, Knight, and I finally get involved and try to figure out what is going on
>All evidence points to these two having committed a quintuple homicide and grand larceny, with a witness claiming the missing Assassin as their accomplice
>Barbarian continues to try to struggle, escape, and fight guards
>Barbarian and Bard don't even try to act innocent
>The Paladin, Knight, and I exchange very troubled looks

The session ended with the Barbarian and Bard getting thrown into Raptor Pit Jail, the Assassin trying to plan a city wide revolt, and the Paladin, Knight, and I quietly agreeing to drop the campaign.

What a fucking shitshow.

You can't leave yet user. You have to set things right. By killing that fucking Assassin.

Lurk more then, newfag.

>Star Wars universe
>We're investigating the local crime lord for some kind of illegal trafficking
>He finds out and starts prepping his bad-ass smuggling ship to leave the planet
>We storm his base, murder the hell out of everyone, but by the time we get to his hangar it's too late
>The ship is taking off
>I yell "NOT TODAY, CRIMINAL SCUM!"
>I jump into the remaining small x-wing
>Set an in-atmosphere hyper jump for his ship and punch it before back flipping out to safety
>The x-wings smashes into his ship and both explode
>I stand there beaming over the amazing series of rolls I made to pull this off when the first of the body parts start to fall
>The evil dude was a slaver.
>There were hints EVERYWHERE that we kept misinterpreting or not following up on
>I just killed 160 slaves we were supposed to rescue
>The flaming wreckage falls to the city below, killing hundreds more and setting several blocks on fire
>The DM is horrified.

Honestly it was an amazing moment and the DM made the campaign still work around the gaping hole I blew through the plot.

...

>Party walks into town where client supposedly lives so they can get paid
>We all decide to go into the tavern and ask where he is
>Ranger gets told he can't bring his dog inside, promptly goes to the alley behind the tavern
>Local bandit group is in there, tells us to fuck off as well
>fight breaks out
>I'm grappling the bandit leader when a flaming chunk of wood falls from the ceiling
>Ranger saw the commotion and decided to light the tavern on fire and blame the bandits
>Tavern is destroyed, a single bandit escapes
>Local knights pissed off, demand an explanation
>"Obviously those bandits set the place on fire"
>rolled a fucking 2 on CHA
>Our Paladin ends up detained in the local jail
>this spirals into our Ranger and Bard breaking into someones house to look for clues as to where the escaped bandit might be
>Home owner wakes up, promptly gets several blows to the head from our Ranger in the panic
>Now we have to hide a local artisan with brain damage inside a haystack while trying to not get pinned for burning down the tavern

I forgot to mention burning down the tavern made us all public enemies, got us stripped of our weapons, and dismantled every side-quest that could have happened.
He also pissed in our waterskins and stole our gold when we had to pull him off a wild bear he tried to tame.

I don't get it -- are the other players retarded?

They rolled up new characters who were in opposition to, and intended to thwart, your character's motivations?

This reminds me of my unfinished campaign where the town the party was staying at was being attacked by mass cultists for devious reasons and the partys warrior decided that attacking civilians would help him blend in long story short he killed an man who came to him for help stating he had a child

I may be running a starwars game soon. Will... Keep this in mind.

Roll an evil character in an explicitly good aligned one shot.

It was my single request at chargen. Make a good character.

He made a cleric of ishtar, who idolized love, lust, and jealousy. Provokes the rogue into murdering people in and out of character.

Cue manhunt for the fucking idiot who murdered someone outside the most popular tavern in the city for his shiny sword.

>Party has escaped from a city of Penguin men in order to liberate a ball of undead inside which there's the equipment of a character that died crushed by the same ball.
>Ball's consciousness is friendly to them, says it will give the equipment back if they bury the corpses of a few good-aligned people that accidentally got enveloped inside the ball.
>Party throws a tantrum because they don't get it right away.
>Draconic barbarian Attacks the balls.
>Zombies drop down.
>Said zombies died of illness.
>Draconic barbarian dies of plague, rest of h party is gravely ill, they didn't get the equipment back, and the ball now wants them dead.

The sorcerer ate an anti-sorcerer weapon, by introducing it directly to his bloodstream. The werewolf reaver then convinced the last party member to join him in drinking from a cauldron filled with stew made from a plague demon, to seal a pact with a demon that offered the "power" for "a price" and refused to elaborate.

Did I mention this was Warhammer Fantasy RP? Or that this was in a daemon infested ruin?

I cringed so hard that session the campaign ended.

It was such a shitfest I don't even remember most of it.

Long story short, we were trying to avoid dying via Trade Federation AA fire on Naboo while making an atmospheric entry, when the Droid decided to eject the lifepod he and another player was in for his own personal safety, leading to huge penalties for the pilot of the shit containing most of the rest of us, despite us all shouting at him that it was retarded and not to do it.

The pilot, who OOC was usually very chill and kinda timid, was so angry he refused to talk to the Droid player for days after and almost stopped being friends with him. The GM decided to redact the whole thing.

This isn't quite the worst, but we deserve special points for nearly losing two party members to a trio of giant rats

>party of six first-time players
>my lawful neutral paladin, a blood hunter, a rogue, a druid, a warlock, and a ranger
>innkeeper asks us to deal with a rat problem
>"yeah no problem"
>head out into the alley where rats have been seen
>find a big hole in the wall behind a crate
>large enough for the gnome rogue to crawl in
>he immediately goes for it
>face to face with a giant rat
>barely makes it back out the hole before dropping to 0HP
>the blood hunter trades some HP for blood hunter power bullshit and runs right up to a rat
>blocking off the alley so no one else can get in melee range
>takes a shot with his crossbow and misses
>he's such a glass cannon that he doesn't get a second shot before the rats knock him out

If it had taken the rest of us even one round longer to kill the things, we might have lost two characters in that alley

Reminds me of the time me and my party were trying to sneak towards a gypsy camp to scout it for the local worried mayor. A gypsy kid in the forest saw us

>Player: I blast him with my musket

Cue a near-death escape from dozens of enraged and armed gypsies, and no happy faces in town either because we had probably just started some kind of feud.

jesus

It was intended to be babby's first faustian bargain- you know, so they realized making deals with daemons is fucking retarded.

That time we were in the zombie infested skyscraper and turned the elevators back on. It started on its way to our floor and we ordered our military android to kill whatever was inside when the doors opened, presuming it would be full of zombies. Big mistake.

It would be a natural reaction, to seeing someone's fucking head come off.

Not party fuckups but some stupid moments
>Fuck up some veggepygmies real fast that the chief and 2 others surrender
>they just want a new home, we agree to try to help
>Alchemist in the party asks for some russet mold to inject people with (syringe spear)
>Pygmy say of course, even after DM confirming the action
>Instantly infected with the stuff as he harvests it
We all have him shit for that because it was so obvious.

I dunno if this was just shitty situation or what
>Fighting 3 minotaurs and 5 gnolls as road encounter as level 3s
>Finally finish them all off, only 2hp left because barbarian frontliner
>Loot corpses, find ring and toss to the Sorceress to identify
>it stores spells put in it, but in character she said it wasn't anything special
>Opposed bluff roll, I win against a sorc (amazingly honestly)
>Walk over to her staring her down and squeaks out "It's a magic ring"
>"Magic" was the command word, the ring, which stored a fireball, blasts right among 3 of us.
>Fail reflex, take 13 damage, exactly -10hp and we are in 3.5, thus death
After a few moments of discussing the ring, it hits people I'm dead. DM says I'm not dead, he had ruled earlier, and I do remember afterwards, that it's negative 1/2 your HP to die. I'm pissed I "died" out of combat to such a stupid situation of such a basic command word and the Sorc trying to play down the ring to where I had to walk over and intimidate her.

We (with group of nations I'll refer to as A ) nvaded a nation that was among a few others (group of nations I'll call B) trying to resist a third nation of evil dragons and their subjects who were going on a conquering spree. By the time we had finished fighting in that First Nation from group A our resources were both heavily drained and we couldn't stop the dragons from taking over massive amounts of territory (most of those B nations) and becoming the largest empire in the world. Only reason we (group A) were spared was overextension on the dragons side.
Pretty bad screw up on mine and another players part since the invasion of that first kingdom was our idea.

They rolled up neutral characters instead of evil characters like last time, and then the whole "my patron is coming" thing happened. They had no reason to trust me at all since no one had worked with the DM or me to come up with anything tying our characters together personally. They were'nt purposefully rolling characters to kill me, but they didn't roll up characters with an immediate reason to trust me, so they understandably roleplayed as such. I blame the DM for that one, he threw a lot of fuel on the fire by using my character as the oracle that revealed the plot of my patron to destroy the world.

>party is adventuring into a tomb where an ancient mummy lord is supposedly waking up after a millenium long curse
>rogues scouting ahead searching for traps and the barbarian is following right after acting as a meatwall incase the rogue misses something
>encounter happens and some skellingtons appear and start juking the shit out of the party's fighter and everyones getting caught in a melee brawl
>suddenly cleric player starts talking about destiny
>conversation switches to destiny talking about epic raid loot and shit
>try to wrangle them back to the game and make them take their turn, they start to get back into it
>rogue asks the cleric why he started talking about destiny near the end of the combat
>dude fucking gets fired up again and wont shut the fuck up about xbox
>cleric's sitting next to me at the table running his motormouth talking about how he thinks fembots would be a great asset to society and i tell him to either get back in the game or get out
>he reaches over and slaps me across the face playfully telling me to quit being such a "catty brat"
>you fucked up
>buddy of mine playing the fighter takes offense at this and hurls his drink at the guy, beaming him across the forehead with a glass mug
>the two of them get into a fistfight in my living room, knocking the table over and they're going at eachother
>wind up separating the two of them and telling the cleric to get the fuck out and never come back
>dude goes outside and calls the cops and sits on my lawn until they arrive
>he winds up getting taken away in the back of the cop car after we explain to the officer what happened and how he would not leave my property
>a few days later
>wake up because car alarm is going off
>go out front and find my car keyd up and one of the windows is busted out
>You fucked up.
>i have security cameras and they recorded the cleric player coming back and damaging my vehicle out of spite

This happened to my group, except the warnings happened in-game, so we all thought this was just build-up for our heroics.

We got captured, tortured and almost raped for 2 months before we finally escaped.

You forgot the part where everyone stood up and clapped.

no, thats after the cinema shooter comes in and my falcon xerces takes the bullet for me while protecting my crab legs and weapons-grade butter.

>What's the worst your players or party have ever fucked up?
activating a Necron tomb and having to combat 3 lychguard and a Necron lord all at the same time.

I should note that their job was to recover artifacts from the tomb, they failed to do this and thought to return empty-handed to the "quest-giver", who has a reputation for killing people who fail him, and think it would all work out.

>New campaign
>Everyone at level 3
>Drop them in a dungeon to start off
>Navigate through it fine
>Even find some hidden loot
>Get to area where two big bads are
>One is a fucking Death Knight that I gave ever description possible of being someone not to fuck with
>Was meant to be a recurring villian type
>Couple players ignore warnings and the second weaker more groveling guy to go after big dick
>Last second one of them says this might not be a good idea
>Cleric guiding bolts
>Party of three lasts two rounds
>Decide to not just wipe them depending on how they RP this situation
>They pull it off
>He leaves them unconscious but alive
>Leaves a message "I'll be waiting"
Found out after the cleric did it because he's "lawful good so obviously he'd have to go after this guy!" At least now he knows what lawful stupid is.
These were supposed to be just a handful of one shots until one of my players wanting to try DMing could get stuff together. Now I have a sinking feeling it'll be a whole new campaign and I'll not be playing for even longer than I thought.

>Playing a cyberpunk game
>Corp rep hires pcs to abduct daughter of prominent researcher of rival corporation with the intent of headhunting him
>Goes well at first
>PCs get an in to a birthday party she is at through a pcs relative
>They managed to grab the girl without a hitch
>Being a spoilt teenage corporate princess she mouths off aggressively
>The sensible option might be to gag her or kiss her with a riflebutt
>Instead one of the pcs caps her
>In front of witnesses and cameras, alerting security that something was happening
>They managed to shoot their way out, but then had 2 corporations gunning for them for the fuck up
Sadly the game ended long before anything came of the disaster

Was Robert ok?

>Instead one of the pcs caps her
how many levels of idiot is your party?

Putting the players up against your Super Special Awesome villain they have no chance of winning against is shitty DMing.

I think I've just played a session in which our party started the end of our game.

>Playing Apocalypse-themed campaign, DnD 5e
>We have six months to defeat four gargantuan beasts that are killing the entire planar system in some kind of infinite cycle of death and rebirth, so high powered
>18th level so far, with magical items and such abound as the world pools everything together to save their lives
>Go off on a sidequest to kill an Ancient White Dragon for a blacksmith, who wanted to settle his beef with the Dragon so he could use his resources to create a magical superweapon to weaken one of the beasts
>As we go to take the Dragon out, we lose special abilities we once had
>When I ask why, the DM says "They're built around you all working as a team, and you squabbled last session"
>The squabble being when I gathered everyone into a huddle to try and see if we were in agreement on a plan of action, which we all ended up being
>He tells me later that he retcon'd it to be a fight so he could depower us because "We were too strong and unbalanced the fight"
>We fight hard, and kill the Dragon after they put our Monk into the negatives
>When I go to bring the Monk back up, the DM describes him being bargained with by an Elder God
>He accepts, becomes an agent of the Elder God
>At the end-of-session debrief, the DM describes how the Mystic and Wizard have the opportunity to gain lots of power for deals with evil creatures
>Both accept, Mystic changes alignment to CE and Wizard is using blood magic

I have no idea how this is going to go, but considering we've not split the party down to three evil, one neutral and three good, party conflict is going to fucking spike.

Sounds less like your party fucking up and more like your DM shitting on you

At the same time, each of them could've said no. Especially the Mystic and Wizard, who weren't in any kind of pressing situation. They all took it, even though so much of the game's themes have been saving the world and teamwork. Now they're all splintering from the main goal, and I can't see this doing anything but tearing at the party cohesion.

It seems like a mix of the DM wanting to throw his "cool homebrew evil options" at the party, and the players never turning down power, even when it causes problems. The fuckup is coming from two ends.

isn't that like how you are supposed to play strahd ?

Barovia is such a shithole death is preferable to living there though.

yeah but I mean Having your OP BBEG appear early on isn't bad GMing, unless you have the it attack the party without them provoking it. I mean if you see some powerful figure ( that is way over your pay grade )and you still attack it don't blame the GM for your stupidity

End of a campaign about a pretty grim civil war, started between two brothers who both want to marry the same princess.

End of the final battle, bad guy has the princess tied up and held to his chest, about to kill her (There was a sacrifice story, assumedly him killing her was going to summon our boss)

My ranger took a called shot to the bad guy, DM warned me it'd be hard as hell, he's in at least 3/4 cover and that cover is the princess.

Did it anyway. Critical fail.

In front of all the NPCs, my entire party, and God, I Hit the princess between the eyes, killing her instantly.

>him killing her was going to summon our boss

And you guys were ducking him because he's a prick?

I think the single stupidest thing a group of players I've GMed for has ever done is the following:

>Players going to meet some important people more or less incognito at this riverside dive
>This is a REALLY bad inn.
>And the players know this, courtesy of a very good knowledge (local) check they made.
>Drink the drinks when you're not a regular and you're likely to be drugged and robbed.
>They decide not to drink.
>They also decide to leave a bunch of their equipment unwatched and unguarded in one of the inn's storerooms.
>And are then surprised when they have stuff stolen.

If it hadn't led to the game blowing up, I would have laughed my ass off. I still do sometimes at the memory.

sorry, boss like the boss enemy of the campaign. Some demon thing the DM had been building towards. Royal blood was needed to bring him into the world.

Kek, this is awesome

That second one sounds like the DM being a dumbass. Normally it specifies in item descriptions with a command word that the word is something unusual or in a rare language, so that it won't get triggered in everyday conversation.

>be playing d&d
>friend is dming for the first time
>makes old west setting
>I make a preachy cleric
>journey to a frontier town
>Dm describes the town
>describes the local brothel and whores in extreme detail
>Decide to go to a bar
>start bar fight, by accident
>skimpy female sheriff arrests us
>getting annoyed at the dm as he keeps talking about his female npcs
> A few other of the players have to leave, abandoning me
>dm makes a shiteating grind
>tells me that the punishment in this town is forced prostitution in the brothel
>my dm forced by character to dress as a girl in the brothel
>I get pissed of, so I try to fight by way out of the fucking rape pit
>dm get angry that I still have spells, so what does he do he make me fight a level 15 barbarian centaur, when I am level 3
>dm says "also he is spell immune because he has a artifact
>fuck me
>so what happens, by character get brutaly raped by massive centaur dick
>and what the fuck is the dm doing, describing it in extreme detail
>male cleric is down to -3hp, dm does not what me to do yet
>so he says that one of the whores help be escape
>im really annoyed and am ready to leave.
dm get annoyed and attacks with his mary sue sheriff
> I get the shit kicked out of my character
>I ask I if a can ask my gods to help my more cleric
>he say I can on a 20
>I roll a "nat 20"
>dm say the god resurrect me
> dm says a sheriff pulls out a gun and start shooting me.
>he says that guns do 1D10+20
> I am about to die
> I try one last time to cast a spell to save my life
> I roll a 1 and die
>what the fuck does the dm do
>he describes that centaurs raping my corpse
>worst fucking dm ever

Did it stop the summoning?

this is how a gay autist clumsily tells his friend that he wants to pull out his angrily throbbing sperg wiener and fuck him in the ass.

If the story is true, why the fuck did you even stay that long? A smart player leaves and lets the DM have the free time to (maybe) discover what they did wrong.

>>tells me that the punishment in this town is forced prostitution in the brothel
What kind of fucked up sunk cost mentality would make someone stay past this point?

> Be DM for a party of 5: cleric, fighter, druid, sorcerer, and rogue.
> Group is traveling alongside ancient forest.
>In the middle of the night a sobbing, gibbering man stumbles into their camp. He is quickly established not to be a threat by the fighter, and the rest of the party is woken up.
>The man begs them to save him, then is pulled, screaming, back into the forest by an unknown force.
>Players not sure what do, so a DMPC ranger shows up to explain the lurking evil in the heart of the forest and asks for their assistance rescuing that guy.
>Even after a good Intent [Sense Motive] roll the cleric and fighter don't trust him.
>Rest of party follows ranger, rescues guy from giant evil tree, but wooden creatures follow them. Ranger stay behind to hold them off, allowing group to return to camp to find the cleric and fighter.
>Group explains situation, rescued man cries and babbles, but they ignore his warnings.
> Creatures burst from forest taking them by surprise.
>Creatures are not too difficult, the party kills all 5. After they waste time sitting around camp and discussing, still right next to the forest, rescued man warns them again.
>Still ignored.
>Another wave of creatures burst from the forest, taking them by surprise again.
>They still kill them, but get more hurt this time.
>Neutral good Cleric says he has 'figured it out'
>Walks over to rescued man, pulls out a crossbow bolt (the only edged weapon he had on him) and says 'I slit his throat'.

>I stare for a second then say, 'he doesn't resist' and you are successful, but you immediately lose your cleric powers.'
>'What? Why!?'
>I must explain that brutally murdering a helpless man is not 'good'. Rest of the party agrees and are annoyed at Cleric.
>'I was putting him not of his misery. It's what my god [Chaotic Good] would have wanted!'
>Entire table disagrees
>'Well, it's my god, so I think I should get to decide what he does or doesn't approve of.'
>Have to explain that his god is NPC and that is quite literally my job to control as DM
>Player is still butthurt
>Even more butthurt when his god visits the next day and explains the quest he must undertake to restore his powers.
>Happy ending: the players actually loved the quest and the Cleric now understands that his god will hold him accountable for being good.

>Stuck in another plane
>There's a puzzle involving putting paintings on a spot on the wall in order to form a portal
>We try all 3, one is dark, one is bright, one shows a regular field
>Our DM is cruel as all fuck so assume the worst
>The knight of the party charges into the bright door on his horse, dragging his horse with him
>DM says he finds himself in a large castle
>We all charge in after him, figure this is our way out
>DM describes different areas for all of us
>Turns to me
>"You find yourself at the gates of Ysgard"
>Mfw door of obliteration
>Mfw we were all in our different god's planes
>Mfw tpk
Still mildly salty my level 12 fighter who was known for kicking the living fuck out of anything the DM threw at us died to a door

This is the best thing I've ever read.

honestly this seems like a good end to that feud

except for the whole demon being summoned. I hope you all continued after that

>Just finish steal 2 crates of Arcane Crystal from an old crime family's warehouse
>Find guy who we can sell it too
>Half ork and Elf player go make the trade and make $4,000 gold.
>Half ork keeps all the gold to holds on to so he can take it to our book keeper.
>Next session the next week.
>First thing he does as I walk in the room
>HE GAMBLES ALL OF IT AT AN UNDERGROUND CASINO
>Me and 3 other players were saying "No Don't!" but he kept gambling and loosing for shits and giggles
>He made none of it back and got our party in debt to the casino

>party is investigating a zombie plague outbreak in the town
>clues lead to a small cave, filled with sewage
>they wade through literal disease-filled crap
>meet a group of Plague Doctors who immediately draws their weapons
"Wait, maybe they're working on a cure - Let's ask!"
"Uh, yes, we are totally working on a cure. In fact, we need someone to test it - We'd test it on ourselves, but the current side effect is horrible internal bleeding and testing it on normal peasants would just kill them. You look like capable adventurers, can you help out?"
>que horrible Sense Motive rolls
"You are not sure whether they're telling the truth or not, user"
>officers the party 3 vials of unknown liquid
>they fucking drink it
...
>you are now suffering from internal bleeding. Roll damage and saves to see if you stop throwing up blood. The Plague Doctors draw their weapons and attack

They managed to just barely survive, but god damn.

>Instead one of the pcs caps her
Wh-what? Why in the fuck?

That's peak player hubris, right there.

>be human warlock
>waifu just began a target of demon assassins
>had a hat of disguise self but the NPC rogue who is the God of Thieves trapped in a mortal body is 'borrowing' it
>party is in the middle of talking with guards
>I see the rogue only recognize him by the hat
>pocketsand.gif
>run and take it from him
>he's wanted for multiple felonies so while he's blinded by sand guards apprehend him
>he's a god tier rogue I assume he'll be fine
>first thing they did was take off his hands and kept him in a pit that has some monsters wandering around
>realized I fucked up but I got my hat
>party tries formulating a plan to rescue him
>showed up late to the session and rogue is about to have a public execution so DM said my character's off doing something else
>party's plan is to have the wizard switch places with rogue and cause massive distraction. No one knows where the paladin is
>The paladin apparently volunteered to execute the rogue
>party decided to bitch out
>paladin asks if the rogue has any last words
>"I curse you bastards and the rest of this land. Now do it!"
>paladin smites him
>next day one of the McGuffins is missing along with a handful of gold
>the entire population just has shit just disappear in the middle of the night. No one knows where it goes
>Chaos ensues because cities are targeting the poor and what not
>all of this just because my warlock wanted to give an elf a fucking hat

>began
Became*

>run a pre made delta green mission
>party is looking for clues to the death of a man that spontaneously immolated in broad daylight at work
>party eventually decides too question his boss because rumor is the guy had been acting weird lately.
>The boss has been mk ultra'd and is having weird side effects like writing please good help me while screaming for the party to get out of his office
>sidenote: this is just a side npc he isn't at all a major player
>party is convinced he is responsible for it, set up a scheme to kidnap him
>they fail to properly case the area and botch the grab as he leaves the office because a few people left with him
>decide instead to kidnap him at his house
>they break in by shattering his glass door
>guy comes down with a club
>party tackles him but he screams for his wife to call the police
>party black ops girl dashes upstairs to where the wife is on the phone with police saying there's a break in
>knocks hey unconscious, then says into the phone "nevermind everything is fine." The wife is a Brit. Blops is a good country southern girl
>cops are now en route
>party had a big white creeper van they shove both people into and peel out
>fail a drive roll and slam into a responding cop car
>fail another and slam into a wall
>fist fight ensues between cops and party, who proceed to steal the cop car and ditch their captives
>high speed chase and the driver critically falls another drive roll
>He crashes into a wall and gets ko rest of party tries to flee on foot but get arrested
>Disavowed, MAJESTIC quietly liquidates them all

The dude wasn't even important to the story. I was floored by their bad decisions and worse rolls.

>Party is an autistic inquisitor, half ling sorcerer,Barbarian amazonian,edgy thief,Boss elf arched and hobo miner(me)
>Trying to save a town that was struck with an illness we get the aids and have 3 days left to live
>After gathering 2 of the 3 ingredients necessary to create the cure, we reach an abandoned temple that is almost in ruins but you couldn't see inside it was deep dark
>Boss elf archer and edgy thief try to sneak inside the temple
>The discover there is a huge white wolf sleeping near the last ingredient
>looking around they see lots of holes, and normal wolves
>its a fucking wolf den
>when they try to sneak outside halfling sorcerer and autistic inquisitor, they didnt know the other two guys where inside so halfling sorcerer cast light on the autistic inquisitor shield and enter the temple
>they light up the huge white wolf, awakening it
>shitshow starts, everyone rushing the fucking giant wolf, because fuck planning

We barely made it alive, everyone was down except the half ling sorcerer because he was a coward, we tried lot of retarded things to distract the wolf so we could escape like throwing a giant bone, but it was smarter than that

>second session
>dwarven fighter takes a secret path into the goblin hideout
>he decides to sprint back to the main entrance, alerting every single goblin along the way
>two of his allies die (they're newbies so i gave them a second chance)

>third session
>at an inn, the party gets into a bloody fight with a local thug
>three more thugs run down the stairs to join the battle
>the same dwarven fighter decides to throw a flask of oil at the bottom of the stairs
>he lights it on fire with his crossbow
>bandit shoves a NPC commoner who was in his way into the flames, she almost dies
>after the fight, innkeeper and other patrons manage to put out the fire

i swear to god next time this guy fucks up, the kiddie gloves are coming off.

The DM didn't force the players to make pacts with fucking triple-C'thulhusatan. They did that themselves with full knowledge of the consequences. So I'd say the only shitty thing the DM did was de-power you for the dragon fight, which you won anyway.