Earth gets attacked by monsters made out of negative emotions

>Earth gets attacked by monsters made out of negative emotions.
>Because of this, they take the form of anything we see as negative, from spiders,to demons, to mascot costumes, anythings fair game.
>Since they are negative incarnate, they can be damaged by things with associate with positive emotions, such as toys. This means that toy soldiers more or less became humanities first line of defense.
>Nerf guns are built in mass, card board box tanks are rolled out, little plastic soldiers in cans are used like grenades, and children are rounded up to be put inside "kindergartens". Dome like structures designed to harvest positive energy as the children inside enjoyed their lives, toys and games galore within to fuel the nightmarish war outside.
>Are you a bad enough dude?

SELECT YOUR WEAPON!

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Get fucked.

If this is real I have to have it right the fuck now

I don't need a weapon, my pillow fort will protect me.

youtube.com/watch?v=PyLVl5QjVLs

>they take the form of anything we see as negative
From the sounds of it, we need to obliterate SJWs.

...

Its an old, heavily propagated, april fools joke from years back. The only way something like that could ever work with so many darts is with a rather large air pressure system, and thanks to modern safety standards, those have gone the way of 1990's super soakers. Sorry to disappoint, user.

All I can think of now is that story of some guy who started a nerf war with his roommates that ended in a homemade flamethrower and a naked guy with a sword

>damaged by things with associate with positive emotions, such as toys
Time to pull out the Sexual Assault gun.

>damaged by things with associate with positive emotions

The kitten launcher's time has come.

so what your saying is that to make one of those we have to make our own?

I won't say challenge accepted, because I have no idea where I'll get so many low-current air-vavles or all the fine tubing

Unfortunately, in this scenario, yes. The people who are "We can't have kids playing with Nerf, being familiar with GUNS will make them grow up to be violent!" crowd who blow things out of proportion are, in this scenario, actively screwing over the entire human race.
In order to stand a chance against the demons, we must first purge the weakness in our own race.

though, in turn, doing so would surround so many with negativity.

really really MAJOR negativity

...

Fug

truly a weapon to surpass Metal Gear.

would LEGO bricks be even more deadly to them than they already are to us?

son, put that baby stuff away...

The grimness of childhood being used to fuel a needed war starts to render the weapons of whimsy useless
Mankind's only recourse is to take a lot of pills and not think about it.

>make an impenetrable wall of lego bricks

I require a human-scale orange transparent chainsaw.

Then I must kill all the demons.

>The kitten launcher's time has come.
grand...I heard it with his voice

>Not upgrading to the belt-fed kitty cannon

I have the feeling that Americans still associate guns with more positive things than toys.

Would... Does this mean we could just point our fingers at them and shout "pew pew" so long as we were having fun and they'd die?
>kids on playground
>playing cops & robbers
>skip ropes & slides & swings
>oshitaliens.png
>few kids are scared
>ballsy ones start "shooting"
>BOOM headsplosions
>alien walks in front of swing
>gets bodied
>kids use skip ropes to rebuke aliens
>whole playground becomes equivalent of consecrated ground vs aliens
>wood chips become "holy water"
On another note, would sex rebuke aliens?

On another note, would sex rebuke aliens?
Only consensual sex in the missionary position for the sole purpos of procreation while holding hands

I'd watch this movie

>Dome like structures designed to harvest positive energy as the children inside enjoyed their lives, toys and games galore within to fuel the nightmarish war outside.
I would like to live in Dome of Having Sex with Supermodels please.

>Dome like structures designed to harvest positive energy as the children inside enjoyed their lives, toys and games galore within to fuel the nightmarish war outside.
What actually would happen is people would be forcibly hooked up to the machines that stimulate their pleasure center until they get addicted. Then, all you have to do to coax out positive emotions from a person is indulging their addiction.

Some of the KND weapons would do well here, like that gumball gun

>they can be damaged by things with associate with positive emotions
GRANNY'S HOME COOKING! Nothing better in the whole world than that.
Fuckin' demons will be choking on pasteliko pie before day's end.

Part of me wants to make a catling gun joke, but it's not got rotary barrels...

Just drown them in a torrent of cold beer.

You see the problem with that idea is nobody wants to be hooked up to a machine matrix style so they can have their emotions harvested, most see that as negative thus it would likely give off more negative energy than it's putting out positive energy.
If something is made out of pure evil and is harmed by things we so much as associate with good emotions then obviously making more evil/negative energy will just make things worse.

There are no negative emotions.

Got married this spring.

I never wore jewelry before, so it took me a long time to get used to the ring.

But I bet I could punch one of those motherfuckers into the sun.

This post is too wholesome for me.

I shall stride calmly towards my enemy with open arms, hands bereft of instruments of war and its recreation, so that when we join body in arms they themselves may be the very tools of their undoing. What better positive thing than to LOVE and TOLERATE the fuck out of them?

Prepare your buttholes ayyyyyyliens

guns give me positive emotions

Do you think they'd make good dildos, though?

So, wait ... we just shove our hands up the back end of a Stuffed My Little Pony doll and end up with an anti-demonic power fist? Is that water powered jet pack an acidic crop duster in this scenario? Do five people in colored jumpsuits tear through the Japanese front as if they're real Power Rangers? Is Dwayne 'The Rock' Jonson the most electrifying monster slayer if you smell what the Rock IS COOKING?!?!?!?

Decending from the south, 4000 men dressed as batman. The end of the war is nigh.

>monsters made out of negative emotions
All emotions, in excess, can be negative.

Hell yes.

So am I a hero or a villain?

You know that brings up a damn good question. Is Coldsteel considered negative? Or has he become so much of a meme that at this point he's positive because he's a joke?

What about sonic weapons? Does Queen cause the monsters bite the dust? Can Metal really melt their faces? Is so, Deploy Tactical Bards! The only One Direction is the towards the battlefront!

>anything we see as negative
>positive emotions are our defence
get me the classic sonic soundtrack, 2 and three should work best, but throw in stardust speedway and green hill zone, also get me a speaker and a megaphone, I've got snakes to music to death.

Would my pride and joy warlord Titan become life sized? Because that damn thing and my admech kept me from an hero-ing myself.

Hop in.

IT'S TIME

I don't see why it would just suddenly become life sized.
It coming to life Toy Story/Indian in the Cupboard style and getting stronger if you put more positive emotion into it though...enjoy your digimon.

user you brightened my day

I imagine the positive would outweigh the negative on that one.

Nintendo power glove acts like a WH40K power fist?

Mind telling that tale?

Wiffle bat and nerf gun wielding monster truck cavalry. LARP boffers and armor being ancient artifact tier equipment. Airsoft gun pellet storms. Sports mascot suits working like power armor. Halloween costumes act like the real thing. Those otherworldly horrors will quake before our power of FUN.

>Halloween costumes act like the real thing.
Oh great now there's vampires on both sides.

That's the power of fun, anything they have we can make a fun version of.

You could put a giant plunger on the tip, so when it hit something the darts fired backward and outward.

>That is a warcrime

Am I the only one that wants to make either a setting or a wargame focused around kids having nerf wars in the neighborhoods with secret hide outs? It doesn't go full on KND but it gets close. Sometimes I think I should get some anons to help me make it, but maybe i'll make it myself someday anons.

>Popular childrens shows with pleasant messages and enthusiastic plotlines are treated as holy proverbs and watching them is a prayer.
>Pikachu becomes a literal god, a difinitive icon of pleasantness and pleasant past emotions

Who else takes the mantle of god?

So are weebs using waifu body pillows the dangerous middle ground where they straddle the line between boundless joy and crushing despair?

Would they be at danger to falling into the darkness?

>Mr. Rodgers is an Old God, forgotten by many and unknown to most, but still powerful enough to erase the foes of those who invoke him.

Fake and gay

I am stealing this whole idea. It is now mine and I copyright this intellectual property that was freely shared and distributed on this Taiwanese noodle cooking website.
Look for my kickstarter coming December 7.

m.youtube.com/watch?v=bKG2WAkgyyU

That fires lightning

>Tfw, abominations learn to fear the chant of "Winnie the Pooh, Winnie the Pooh, humpty dumpty wumpty pumpty!" over the horizon.
fug off shill.

Who is this semen demon?

>they can be damaged by things with associate with positive emotions
gotta bludgeon them with a dildo

You forgot the awkwardness, embarrassment, violation, and revulsion. The monster gets very slightly larger.

So does this mean they're going to take over all the sex toy factories?

Not if I have anything to say about it

Yet again Catholic sex ethics saves the day.

Didn't we have this thread before?

But if the toys become weapons for a war of desperate survival, won't their associations become negative?

Twilight Sparkle
Sunset Shimmer
Princess Celestia
All Praise our Virtuous Lady, Saint Lauren Faust

Yes, allot actually. OP's trying to make his setting a Veeky Forums approved one or some shit.

>>Since they are negative incarnate, they can be damaged by things with associate with positive emotions
So, I could just use a gun?

Only if you're /k/.

Gonna send the abominations to the Shadow Realm.

They make such a compelling argument though

...

The problem here is that there are things some associate negatively that others view positively.

I'm moving to Amish country and getting ready to have a lot of sex with loose women shaped space fiends. For the sake of the human race of course...

nah, because they are still toys and not really dangerous to humans. so if anything they're positive associations just become stronger, because now they defend mankind from the evil aliens.

would dogs still be awesome at fighting? would different breeds than normal be super effective in combat?

It's a catapelt.
It pelts people with cats.

That sounds super cool but it won't fly as a full on setting since children make things as they go along.

Seconded, reverse image search only links to TG

>anything we see as negative
>mascot costumes

you forget that furries exist.

I figured he meant like the Philly Phrenetic.

I'd say I don't need weapons, I can bunker down in my safe space every night by bundling up in my bed with a sleazy early nineties action movie, but then I look over at all the nerf guns and action figures I have so I'm armed anyway.
>hulk hands

user, your emotions are nothing more than endorphins released by your brain into your blood stream to elicit a natural response.

That sounds like alien talk!

It's a pretty good one. I liked the original more though.

GET DOWN TO SCIENCE