What actually goes on in a lich's laboratory? What sorts of ungodly experiments would they get up to?

Mostly pie and cake recipes, the occasional goulash.

>jacking it to kitsune porn
No dicker.

In fact, no earthly pleasures.

I really hope you got a drive for what you are doing or else you're in magic skeleton hell.

is that a quirk of negative energy or of having a dead body

A little bit of A and a little bit of B.

The NE rots your flesh, your dead body stops producing good feels chemicals.

Magic can do anything, user.

Obviously not or else you wouldn't have become a lich.

You would've ascended to pure energy form. Or literally any other immortality, superior to lichhood.

>any other immortality
>superior to lichhood

Indeed.
Lichhood isn't even true immortality, you have simply moved the method of your undoing into a easy to crack rock.

Shouldah gone and become a timeless demiurge in his own pocket existance like ya brotha.

Demiurge doesn't look this good. Snappy dresser, but too fleshy. It's worth it. Besides, phylacteries aren't meant to be easily destroyed, or even easily found.

Looks are subjective and worthless to an ascended wizard.

>Besides, phylacteries aren't meant to be easily destroyed, or even easily found.
Neither is the heart of any living creature yet there it is, a really dangereous weakpoint and a testament to their mortality.

Meanwhile a wizard who turned himself into a very literal force of the universe has no weakpoints.

Mage Hand is a basic cantrip. Mage Cock shouldn't be any more difficult, and enchanting it with sensation is absolutely doable.

I once played a campaign where the Lich that's been threatening the kingdoms for centuries had his phylactery in the most holy sceptre of the Church, wielded by the pope himself. The Lich was actually the prophet himself, and created the whole religion. He was both the Christ and the Antechrist.
We, the PCs, were in a bad situation. We learned about the secret (imagine the paladin's reaction) but revealing it would make us guilty of the highest heresy. We managed to make an alliance with some very rich capitalist, who was a power hungry atheist who overthrew both the King and the Ecclesiarchy with our help, ala French Revolution, installing a ploutocracy. The lich instantly launch an invasion and managed to get his philactery back, and we beat this fucker fair and square during the siege of the capital.

Best campaign ever;

it was indeed a reference to poisoned citadel (that CYOA)

>No dicker.
>not making yourself another
>not creating an artificial body for your undead form to inhabit

But the other body will just rot away again.

Leaving you dickless and messy.

You guys know this was animated for a tv pilot?

youtu.be/XbsDvGtTRWU

Also, dissecting Feyfolk probably. Their bodies or souls allow you to circumvent order and logic.

>golems rot

I'd play it.

Golems aren't undead.

and?

>become lich
>trnafer remains into artificial golem body
>give golem body ability to feel pleasure
its not hard

If you can do that, why not get something better than lichhood?

it still involves being a lich (binding ones soul to an object while renouncing your mortal form)

just because you arent a skeleton doesn't make you not a lich

Every good story about golems I've read had golems without penises, and that was a plot point in at least one.
I know that doesn't refute you at all, I just wanted to say it.

That's why you make your other body out of solid gold, poured into a mold around your skeleton and magically animated.

Yeah but if you can just change bodies like that, why isn't it possible to remove the concept of phylactery and just ascend to something better?

>What sorts of ungodly experiments would they get up to?

As a general rule of thumb I like immortal geniuses to be about one to three stages ahead of whatever passes for science, magic, or technology in their surrounding world, so when you've got yourself a Lich I like to see:

-Cultivating new and exciting disease, while simultaneously creating cures for them for your own private use/benefit (not that a Lich can catch diseases, he's dead).
-Constructing and pioneering new techniques in the construction of artificial beings both undead, living, or otherwise.
-Writing and storing in large tombs all manner of new spells both practical, impractical, exciting, and boring.
-Not having to dress up in formal 'evil' wear: finest jewelry, trinkets, baubles, burning skulls, etc, and just being able to walk around in your work clothes.
-Developing a large indoor greenhouse to cultivate numerous plants, fungi, and a variety of interesting or even exotic organic reagents.
-Perhaps even writing up the plans and working out the designes and economics of constructing a new dungeon somewhere- writing down trap ideas, listing off what monsters to stock it with, etc..
-Breeding new chimeric and or monstrous creatures to introduce onto the neighboring land.. For the benefit of the local ecosystem, obviously.

I like using Liches more as ye olde mad medieval scientists than anything, like, imagine if Leonardo Da Vinci had nearly endless resources, magic, and was a bored, spooky skeleton with questionable morals and no sex-drive and you'd get a good picture of what I use Liches for. When you raid a Liches tower the prize should never be just gold coins n' bank notes (though they have substantial monetary wealth), it should always be the weird, break-through, revolutionary science they've discovered through their immoral and questionable practices.

>ascend to something better
like? tying yourself to something ephemeral would inevitably warp your very essence until there is nothing of (you) left

Tha's literally lichhood though.

And everything else does it better, whithout the glaring and obvious "You die forever" switch.

lichhood is tying your soul to an object

vampires have their own issue, same for werewolves

sticking your soul inside a golem directly is lichhood but with more downsides

becoming a ghost is risky since no anchor

lichhood is literally the best way

You, I like you.

Are werewolves even a form of immortal? They're the lowest monster tier for me, it's better to be a mere human than a werewolf. They're pretty much indefensibly shitty outside of sexual gratification for people who like beastmen.

>Are werewolves even a form of immortal
well they age very slowly if at all, so kinda- theyre immortal in the same way elves are

Biologically immortal, strong even in human form, with planning can use your invincible berserker to kill most anything unless its prepared for you, king of the jungle-equivalent where jungle is germanic forests. Someone make a Virgin Vampire/Chad Werewolf

>Perhaps even writing up the plans and working out the designes and economics of constructing a new dungeon somewhere- writing down trap ideas, listing off what monsters to stock it with, etc..

what would be the purpose of creating a dungeon?

analysis, studying adventurers and how they beat monsters

I did. Didn't know it was a comic though.

Originally Screw On Head was just one of the portraits you see in the BPRD in cover art.
But everyone kept asking Mignola who the guy was, and if Hellboy ever met him.

So he made a comic about it.

>Someone make a Virgin Vampire/Chad Werewolf

I tried

You, sir, succeeded.

>Meanwhile a wizard who turned himself into a very literal force of the universe has no weakpoints.

Other than, ironically, having no freewill or agency in the world he wished to merge with.

Deities are the same way, when you can be everywhere, you're really nowhere at all. Enjoy being gravity and the ennui of a purposeless and sterile existence.

writing their memoirs about how they became a lich and built their own undead army. Then they get bored and instead writing romance novels about maidens falling in love with their undead captors, dying, and being raised to life again.

...

Boredom? When you're immortal I would imagine that you would do some weird stuff just for the hell of doing it.

White wolf devs not welcome

I dun get it

HoMM:V cities inspired me regarding fantasy settings so hard