"Cathartic" Magic Cards - Part Three

...because the further your sides are in orbit, the better your deckbuilding becomes.

Let the catharsis flow through you.

Other urls found in this thread:

archive.4plebs.org/tg/thread/55693368
archive.4plebs.org/tg/thread/55735273
twitter.com/SFWRedditVideos

I can't say I have ever done it avant-garde before.

Invalid promo code.

RULES OF NATURE

This is pretty meta.

r/mtg

Time for a new job.

Protip: Shoot the boss until it dies.

Not pictured: Candle Nolan.

Seems a bit harsh.

EDH staple.

This is pushed for a common!

What the fuck is this thread

Need 2 eat? Go on and have it

If u want it?
It's 4 sale OK
If you need 2 to ask
ASK.

>Insert cover wounds that correspond to the tax rate applicable to being a bad guardian.
Is that on gross or net income?

This man carpet dude only needs bags to be dangerous.

>Evangelizing an Abrahamic religion as a cost
Muh sides

Borose Reckoner
Being a Minotaur wizard
If you get Boros Reckoner, it will cause serious damage to the creator or player.
R / W: Boros Reckoner found his first point at the end.
"Imagine a tactical glittering storm, that's all."
- Yes, firefighter

pork dillingers

>each opponent disappears for 1 lifetime and you will have the light

hot damn

shame you have to die to pull it off though

BRAVO NOLAN
R
A
V
O

N
O
L
A
N

>please add 1 money

oy vey

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No but for real
What the fuck is this thread

Deep.

I don't always cast Hurricane, but when I do, its a Space Hurricane.

It hurts just a little bit more each time...

>Angel Astrom cannot read
>blue safe, white safer
BW -CONFIRMED- most intellectual color combo.

Donald is getting edgy.

You have to choose between breaking that new PS4 or not casting to this on multiple players. Didn't realize MtG was getting THAT P2W

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MtG cards run through Google Translate several times over.

B is black you dummy.
U is blue. UW.

She sounds pretty good considering her repair abilities and salvaging businesses.

How do you angry avant-garde?
And since when is WotC in with the carrot farmers?

I don't know why the first user called these cathartic, but they totally are and my life is better for their existence.

Substantially better than her normal card.

Also, its time for dinosaurs to make some gains.

What the fuck is going on?

...savage.

>Use your charity and beauty. But do you know when it will all be done.

>If a creature enters a creature it will be damaged along with it's mind

Sums up inhabitants of the friend zone pretty well.

Honestly, some of the flavour text after a few translations is really good.

The reason why Magic cards turn hilarious is that they use abnormal syntax for English (Magic cards are written differently than spoken language would be). This makes translations go off the deep end pretty quickly.

WotC should probably use translation altering to write some of their new flavour because it has been abysmal in recent sets...

Fucking brutal.

How the fuck does "pay 4 life" become "paying carrot"

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>Platers can not live.
That's pretty metal.

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When I tried this, I didn't get anything half this entertaining. Meanings seemed to mostly be preserved. What exact method are you using?

No, that's not an answer. You're confusing me and I'm way too high to stand for this right now. WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS THREAD

Different languages give different effects. Also, using two languages with the same roots wont work very well (Russian to Romanian, etc).

You need to translate back and forth several times. You don't need tons, although it is possible - the Eldrazi ones from a few days ago were 30 translations.

>PRODUCE THREE TREADMILLS FOR DINOSAURS

>Me and your plane will end my chorus.
But what about the survivors?

Harsh truths, indeed.

What has been seen cannot be unseen.

DELETE THIS

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This probably works better with that horrible anime tits alter art (look it up), but this is a blue board.

Something from last thread i saved and mashed together to save image slots

Prooooooooooobably better in the 99 than as your commander.

Did anyone archive the first thread?

It looks like both of the first two threads are outside of the archive range by now.

First Thread
archive.4plebs.org/tg/thread/55693368

Second Thread
archive.4plebs.org/tg/thread/55735273

Jokes aside-

Anons are taking the text of existing Magic: the Gathering cards, running it through google translate or similar interfaces, and running it back as English, finally recreating a "custom" card based on the original card. Due to the intricacies and diversity of linguistic development within regional languages, combined with the ineptitude of basic translators, the results are often nonsensical, poetic, or horrifying, depending on how hard the translator works on keeping everything coherent.

>If the animal dies, two people also die.

We need more Elipticals.
I wonder what Oracle of Dust becomes.

>Teeth are for decorative purposes only
>No P/T

Nice.

>God Does not Care 11
>I can not go back 10/10

>No!

>Now it's Empty
>Your enemy can not cry. (This is zero).
>Competitors do not meddle in the results.

>Just Imagine it's Over

This is some Zalgo shit right here.

>It's a Real Disaster
>Simply, run
>It's easy to understand
Sums up the card pretty well

Not to mention the weird English-like syntax on Magic cards, which I imagine throws off the ordinary means of translation a bit.

I find it fitting the eldrazi cards seem the easiest to understand when we put it through the system.

Thanks, user. I haven't laughed this hard in ages.

One hour of destruction
with magic
All beings lose foreign matter until the end of the journey. Destruction time is 5 damage per creature and the loss of the balloon.
"All is there, otherwise my plane will disappear, with you, Gatewatch" -Nikol Balls

>Satan - Crazy
Sounds about right.

Wizards needs to stop adding these new mechanics

>Keldon Gayan
The homosexual agenda strikes again!

These aren't funny when people are making them themselves.

I don't think anyone is.

She sounds like a go-getter who grabs life by the horns. Awesome.

>Friend Zone
>Danger, players can not live.
>Creatures engaged in mating, surgery, or getting eaten get mentally and physically damaged.
I feel better now. Thanks user.

Has the fire risen?

Don't fuck with More of the Truth.

>Counterfeit Slaughterhouse
Does Google Translate provide band names?

>nobody cared who I was until I put on the hat

>All of the animals that stop life will stop you

Holy fuck that's horrifying.

That could be actual flavor text at this point.

Grab your playset now this card is going places

I would watch a show where single athlete fights group of smokers desu

How do you make these? I'm not talking about MSE.

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>legendary creature translated to BIG ANIMALS
also Astrom is a pretty cool name for an angel, Maro, please steal it if you are reading this

Run a card's text through google translate multiple times back and forth from English and multiple other languages. English -> Russian -> English -> Hawaiian -> English -> Chinese -> English...

>The goal of the election is a double strike.

Boros did 9/11, guise.

bump

DELETE THIS

i can't find what you're talking about

These are accurate translations, actually.

>My husband drops people from the government
Melania, is that you?

We need more planeswalkers, they're always the best.

>{T}: Big Help
So very true...

he's a big help 3uuu

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> Life does not hinder the impact of this action.
So, Hurly the Fighting Peon finally got her antidepressants.

>that frame and formatting
please don't do this