Goblin diplomats uproot your prize-winning shrub

as expected of the aggressive goblinfolk

IF IT WEREN'T FOR THE LAWS OF THIS LAND I WOULD SLAY YOU WHERE STAND GOLBINOID FILTH! THAT SHRUB WAS A TESTAMENT TO THE GOD OF THE WILD WOOD! REPLACE THE SHRUB OR FACE A LOCAL GRIEVANCE TO THE MAGISTRATE!

Exucute them.
Due to various "acts of valour in defence of the Kingdom and civilisation", my manorial holdings are technically an allied sovereign state and are not subject to the kingdom's laws.
Since I don't have a treaty with the gobbo scum, and they weren't under a flag of truce or on an arranged agreement of safe conduct to negotiate with me, they're just more raiders to eliminate...

source

Run before my wife gets home, you don't want to see a dwarven woman pissed off

Agreed, I need this in my life.

Not very diplomatic of them, was it? But I'm above that, so I'll send a wergild to their boss.

If the diplomats look like that then i'd rape them and consider us even.

Goblins (female) are easily dealt with.

exhentai.org/g/1130356/a08123f3ed/

Please. Dol'Rothkan's roots extend into hell, who knows what they'd find if they tried to pull it up.
It will be hard to explain to the garden delegation why their diplomats' souls are caught ever-screaming on the thorns of my infernal rosebush.

How about you just post the name

slaughter her and her enterage, those shrubs are a pain in the ass to come across.
Dont violate a wizards NAP

...

Im a level 11 Paladin Avenger.

peace was never an option

How about you reverse image search it.

One of these DOES work for that image, I checked:
>google, yandex, saucenao, iqdb, tineye, image raider, bing
Make sure not to search the thumbnail.

>Goblin diplomat breaks into local mans house
>Local man breaks into Goblin diplomats ass.

Unacceptable. I demand an immediate private meeting in my chambers. Bring me oil and a stool...for diplomatic reasons.

All you need at that point is a board wipe.

All you have to do is change the URL slightly to bypass sad panda. Not that I'm going to tell you what to change it to.

Arrow to the face, then rape her. Really don't need no fucking halfbreeds

thanks bruh i cum on cat she hiss at penis

Just click the link you double nigger.

That's not bypassing the panda, then you're going to a site that doesn't have it at all. Actually passing the panda is so fucking simple though. You can literally google it these days.

So, one could just ask a cute gobking girl for sex and even I, a low level Wizard loser could shed the mantel of virginity?!

Hot in surprising ways, thanks.

Learn a bit about goblin law before dealing with the problem.

im done wanking. did it get a sequel i need to wank to more goblin loli

Much like in real life if you're a wizard all you want is sex the easiest way is to just find a goblin that doesn't give a fuck

>He doesn't wanna be greeted by a chorus of "daddy!" when he gets home

>Tfw no goblin waifu to keep constantly bred and no house full of happy half-gobbo kids
Why even live?

Mesu Goblin o Dorei ni Shimashita

>"This just in! War between the kingdom and the goblins haas taken off!"

>orc_civilization.jpg

>tfw really like gobbos and shortstacks in general
>hate big manhands

You know the easiest way to tell a tranny or a trap is the size of the hands? No amount of hormone therapy or ''corrective'' sex surgery can hide those unattractive, colossal man-paws

Sauce?

Finger length for the ring and index finger is also a thing with men usually having longer ring fingers, and women index. Though if you don't just have instinctive trap sense you haven't been on this sight long enough

>Goblins are the civilised ones in my setting
>Humans are like Neanderthals
>Humans causing big problems, Goblins enslave Orcs, Ogres and Kobolds to deal with humans
>mfw tell players about setting and they assume that the Goblins are the bad guys
>When I tell them that PC's are all on Goblins side they make their characters murderhobo edgelords
>Because humans are the bad guys they literally did nothing wrong

Nuke their Country for violating the NAP, and sell their children into slavery

They aren't immune to being wined, dined, and getting this human dick.

that's ok, I'd trim her bush with my teeth

Spank her little green ass like a child. Diplomat or not, it's the only way to deal with naughty golbins.

>Be male
>Have hands, and feet, smaller than most women

Fuck.

I might be gay but I am cis.

Ask if there's any better ways for a goblin to get some dick these days then going around molesting shrubbery.

I know that feel, user. I'm 5'4''.

i nutted, thanks user, you're doing the lord's work

>Teach her gardening. She'll come to understand just what she ruined and also gain the ability to make things right. The rest is up to her.

>tfw teach qt 3.14 goblin gf about the wonders of life and have her cultivate my seed

>It was the shrub of immortality

>being an award winning gardener
>having only one prize winning shrub

I'd probably just give them a firm spanking and demand repayment. and spank them every day until payment was recived

>Fast breeding immortal rats instead of slow breeding immortal hippies
>The humans think of a cunning plan to get rid of them
>Find intoxicated Giantess woman
>Bring her home
>Tell her she doesn't need to tell you what happens, but she has to kill all the Goblins

>Tfw hairy and barely 5'7 but twinkesque
PICK A SIDE BODY.

user what're you on about?

I'm surprised I get that reference

>your head or your dick
>yes
?

Whos art is that? I don't know it

what's wrong with otters?

ITT: shrubs are serious business.

This. What's up with all the murder and rape?

Don't be an idiot.
Goblins are filthy little parasites.
That means, the only reason to EVER negotiate with a Goblin, and thus the only reason to EVER have a Goblin Diplomat
Is if the Goblins have something huge over our heads.

Decapitate the goblin, and you decapitate our whole goddamn kingdom. Nobody gives a shit about your shrub.

If they're as bad as you say and they have that much power over us then aren't we pretty much doomed in any case?

Of course not. Goblins are also sending us a diplomat, and I'm pretty sure they just learned that word last week. We may be looking at some Mutually Assured Destruction shit here.

...

It's a prize-winning shrub, mind you.

Shit, I have oversized women hands.

>Use their entrails as fertilizer

Daaaaaaaamn. Spittin' truth right here.

Start sceaming

Iunno, i dont feel otter sexy!

Kill all Gobs

Noyou

Ok, just how many answers are there so far that are neither violent nor lewd?

...

>>Goblin diplomats uproot your prize-winning shrub
Of course they would, it's the prize winning shrub that's going to be sent to the goblin kingdom as proof of our two nation's alliance!

Soon the kobolds and goblins will live in unity! And my plants will represent them! I couldn't be more happy!

It's a goblin. They deserve death no matter what they did.

mfw

Diplomatic immunity not sword immunity.

This. The kingdom can't be held accountable if a complete outsider sticks a sword in the goblin diplomat's throat.

Now it tells the story of a goblin getting introduced to my dick.

Do not sexualize Cutesnik.

Is that where this is from?

Goblins aren't huge. That's a troll, user.

When last I checked, animals cared not for the laws of this land. Sure *I* can't do anything, but there's nothing saying the angry wall of muscle, fur, and horrendously sharp teeth and claws that rushes around the corner of my house can't defend his territory from intruders.

Eat goblin diplomat.

It's just been revoked.

>he said, just before Archduke Ferdinand was assassinated by the Black Hand

Oh my, Black Dog. Nice.

>expect some wholesome cute goblin girls taking advantage of male adventurers
>ends up being the guy raping the girl

Jesus fuck Japan you are creatively bankrupt.

The needs females of another race to breed trope is so stupid, fucking hell, and the offspring being identical to one parent makes it double stupid. The only way it would make sense would be a womb parasite.
Somewhat like this.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sacculina

To the breeding halls with you!

In your setting, maybe.