>be your last character >wake up in a blood diner >"Hail oh 'adventurous mortal'... welcome to the Blood Mistress. That's what I call my bat-themed diner. You like? Doesn't matter, you have like 5 seconds to tell me why I shouldn't call the Blood Guard so they can come brain you and stick you in a blood bank. Chop chop gumdrop, you're like majorly creeping out the clientele. And before you try to stake me or lob garlic or whatever, I'll just tell you now I can run away like *super* fast. Like... Sonic the Hedgehog fast. Also you're in the middle of like the Time Square of a city of vampires, so you know. When in Rome, don't throw rocks in glass houses."
My build is based on going fast, let's fucking go.
Gavin Baker
Uh...well, there's the whole "having fire for blood" thing. Seems like that might pose a problem for you.
Isaiah Price
>I can run away like *super* fast. Like... Sonic the Hedgehog fast
I suggest you start running, then, because there isn't anywhere to hide.
Christopher Ross
I'd ask my DM if he was having a fucking stroke
Owen Cooper
Because I don't have what you consider to be blood running through my veins, and if you try and drink it, I don't know what might happen.
That said, I'm here to try the cuisine, because I'm new in town and curious. It's not going to make ME sick, after all.
Tyler Carter
Ask my DM why is he doing this
I specifically made my fetishes clear to him and he does this?
Joshua Robinson
I'm from the Hellth Board, I'm here to inform you that you're getting a Fail rating. I've staked you out for about two weeks and determined that this diner has been serving bad blood. You have one month to purge this place of business or we will close the lid on this casket.
Bentley Rivera
I don't have blood so I doubt I'm of any interest or use to a blood bank.
Alexander Fisher
>Current character is a hero >Super strength, toughness, immune to Vampire teeth and hypnosis shenanigans >Started to drag Dracula himself out into the sun, ended up almost single handedly stopping a potential Vampire vs Humanity war
So, um, you don't know who I am? Well, this is awkward. You see, if you could just tell me where the good 'ol Count is hiding, because I organised to go sunbathing with him and I'm not putting it off a second time. Thanks.
Oliver Brown
You know this is going to get moved to /qst/ right?
Nathan Evans
>a blackguard based around commanding undead and forcing them to my will
".........you do not amuse me wentch, now stand aside, I have a paladin to slaughter"
>if they fail to move, force them to bow and scrape while I decapitate them
Julian Cox
Fus Ro Dah! >crouches >everyone immediately looses track of him because he has Stealth 100 and the Dark Brotherhood outfit on.
Wyatt Price
*blocks ur path*
Ryder Torres
Roll for initiative.
Mason Cruz
fuck you
Parker Myers
Let me show you how a REAL bonelord throws down!
Matthew Foster
no no
a REAL bone lord, not some half assed idiot who couldn't beat a barbarian.
lich is best
Jose Jackson
You are like a little baby, watch this. pic related is actually my favourite lich-like entity in anything I've ever read.
Connor Cox
is that lich-lord jadek over a cauldron?
it looks like him but I'm not sure
Luke Lopez
Hell yeah it is, motherfucker. You've got good taste in skeletons.
Evan Ortiz
why is the goat on fire
Andrew Miller
...
Nathan Howard
Not to tell you what you should or shouldn't like, but...
Jace Ramirez
>Last character was an English Noble that got the most deranged psychological torture by vampires and ended up having his face resemble a picked apart skull
I eat my gun.
Matthew Baker
You realize you've basically named your cops the equivalent to us calling ours the "Burger Patrol", right?
Nolan Torres
>Burger Patrol Why isn't this a movie yet?
Lucas Jackson
...
William Kelly
>knocking the fucking Burger Patrol of all groups Low blow my dude.
Brayden Gray
>the burger patrol is a thing Well fuck my ass and call me Sally I guess.
Parker Gomez
>Blood Mistress >blood diner >blood bank >blood guard Those people are reaching smurf levels of obsession, you think it's part of the vampire curse?
Easton Parker
Vampires are basically cocaine addicts but supernatural and addicted to a vital bodily fluid. They're obsessed with it.
Dylan Wood
>Be Fair Folk historian mage >In a setting where Fae blood is hallucinogen for vamps
Probably use magic to create fog and become stealthy and run away
Easton Morales
Plasma kills you guys, right?
Easton Sanchez
Must make things easier for vampire hunters >How do you call this vehicle? >A bloodmobile, why? >Begone, foul beast *blam*
Joseph Smith
If by kill you mean sustain.
Cooper Rodriguez
I think he meant the kind suns are made of.
Blake Wood
There isn't really much difference if you get them hot enough.
Sebastian Garcia
I'll get you hot enough alright.
Samuel Jenkins
lewd
James Price
Well, my character have a special armor whit a magic spell of sunlight in all directions, so how its posible to this bitch speak to me?
Jacob Garcia
consider your image.........taken
William Bell
my last character was a vampire level 16 wizard flame spec who destroyed a drow army(sold the survivors as slave to ifreet) is owed a lot of favors by devils(sold living paladins to them), disguised his party as to not register as undead or evil then faked a holy message to infiltrate the paladins army and destroy from within with bad PR and when caught in ancient dracolich's lair con he's way out. plans to come back and destroy the dracolich for not signing the mutual help pact as it is now threatening the area where the character's decadence are. first rule: no body messes with his family. he does not look impressive, being a kindly looking halfing, not even the deadliest member of the party in a strait up fight (actually the least) but with planning and his back up changes the course of nations. so he drop his disguise, ask for an apology, if none are forthcoming, he'll politely leave. research the lady, restaurant, city with an average knowledge skill roll d20+30 then come back later and hurt her in the most painful way possible(financial, framed for a crime (book keeping is not a useless skill) or possible just have her confined to live in constant agony. he i normally play lawful or neutral good characters, dm wanted to see me evil, murder hobos are not scary, a family man with a threatened loved ones, is a man that's focused. scared the fuck out of my group with my actions.
Nicholas Turner
[SINGS EXTERNALLY]
Luis Bailey
Are you having a stroke?
Gavin Campbell
It's night-time, duh. Sun turns off at night.
Samuel Flores
Math checks out.
Evan Ramirez
Well yes, this armor its a silly reward of a cleric for save is life, and never encounter a vampire after that, so lucky me! is perfect for this thread!
Anthony Cooper
>"The Inquisitor will come for me, and he doesn't care if he has to kill me to get me back. Please just let me go."
Nathan Cooper
>level 20 psion with 3 divine ranks
I guess you can try to stop me
Ryan Perry
A. I don't have blood. B. I'm powered by an internal fusion reactor. You know, basically a mini sun. C. You're being kinda a dick and I've got a jetpack.
So, Sanic, wanna apologize or see who's faster? Because right now this whole vampire shit is looking a lot more like your problem than mine.
>Seriously, my mutants and masterminds character is the android tank of the group (affectionately referred to as their "breaching tool"). Enough vampires could probably dismantle him but one of the things his arm turns into is a fusion powered beam sword. He'd take Blade levels of vampires with him if they actually did manage to bring him down.
Dominic Perez
"The masquerade is broken...?" "THEN GET ME A FUCKING PITCHER OF O POSITIVE, WENCH."
Owen Richardson
Is noone going to commebt on that post number?
Oliver Morales
>Holocaust of Light >Everything within 1 astral unit takes 1000 Base Light Damage. But with maxed Expanded Area and Double Damage Metamagick Advantages, that becomes 2 au and 2000 Base damage. >Silently accumulate Zeon for it while she's talking to me. "Well, miss, at least it will be painless, I suppose..."
Jeremiah Lopez
Patrician taste in music.
Ian Fisher
>fire elemental powers >tough as shit >used to be a warforged, but had an accident involving magic bullshit and desperately wants to go back >has turned into something of a thrill-seeker after realising the joys of adrenaline glands >no time for this shit "...Good luck, I guess. Are you feeling 'braised' or 'extra crispy' tonight?"
Luis Ross
[angry greek chanting]
Connor Jones
Do it.
Gavin Sullivan
>my last character Rebuke undead and go back to my potatoes and eggs.
Levi Cox
>last character >gnomish battle master who just so happens to have ended last session covered in giant blood. fuck.
Samuel Barnes
>Get of Fenris close-combat monster >Recently solo'd a 4th-gen Gangrel while the others ran in circles like bitches(hah) because of the Gangrel's Tzimice ally and her goddamned flesh-spawn.
>Runs to window, looks out. >Leeches on the streets, leeches in the buildings, goddamned worm-loving bastards everyfuckingwhere >"Yer shittin' me!" >"Yer seriously shittin' me!" >"ARE YE FUCKIN' SHITTIN MEAWOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" >RIP AND TEAR
Noah Miller
My STAND, [RIP AND TEAR], has no weakness!
Nolan Perry
Bitch I'm a vampire a fabulous vampire. A glampire.
Ethan Smith
what's the source to this? it looks sick
Jace Sanchez
Proceed to smite evil and die horribly
Nicholas Turner
A certain Russian faith healer would probably be prepared to take down some uppity bloodsucker.
Dominic Gomez
It's some fanart a talented user did for Death Among The Stars Quest. It's bretty gud. Artist is KRTR on deviantart, they have a bunch of stuff from the same universe.
Ayden Martin
Step right this way
Nathan Price
"How do people keep failing to kill me?"
Jacob Wright
lasted a fair while before a dipshit showed up.
this isn't a quest, it literally amounts to a "elf slave wut do"
Cameron Nelson
Imagine.... >Hot vamp gf >Decide to do it for the first time >Oh wow her body is so hot >oh shit nigga to hot >BOOM >SPLATTER And now your room is covered in vamp goo
Adam Jones
...
Benjamin Sanchez
>Rigorous scientific study confirms that upon exposure to dicc, vampires will initiate rapid fusion, working their way from the lightest to heaviest elements in their bodies before converting their entire mass to pure energy >This ushers in a golden age of science and progress, ushered in by vampires and dick.
Ethan Nguyen
Never heard of him. From where is he?
Brandon Jones
My last character a 15th level psion just spent the last "Session" (Which spanned almost 3 months), escaping a literally endless city of high level warriors, casters, and all sort of crazy shit, Oh and a few vampires- that were actively trying to kill him. I lived without hiding where as 3/5 of the rest of the party died.
99% of the civilians don't even know I'm trying to escape, and you're *Super* speed is cute.
Basically your challenge is quite laughable because with this very character I know I've already run worse than this situation...
And won.
So bring it, you're already dust.
Nathan Clark
Excuse me, it is I, Archaon the Everchosen, who is the TRUE quesadilla here!
Landon Ortiz
My blood to alcohol content is somewhat absurd. Our healer, his potions are all some variety of booze.
You can serve me to your customers, but they'll have a vicious hangover. Wouldn't be the first pack of vamps to get it.
Andrew Gray
I look up from my menu and tell her. Well sugar tits why don't you use that super speed to get in the kitchen and rustle me up a steak medium rare, but before that how about a glass of unsweetened tea?
Alexander Gutierrez
>Enginseer that I made into a tech-priest Dominus
Demand to know where the inquisitor went. If she continues to fuck around and not answer his question he'd eradication beamer her into ash. Then he'd walk around and look for the inquisitor some more, lose interest like the old coot he is and fuck off to an abandoned factory to make stuff.
Unless vampires like synth blood laced with oil I believe they won't try and eat him.
Elijah Anderson
death among the stars quest. its actually a rather nice CIV that starts with the "ancient evil awakens" trope with us being the ancient evil
he is in short, a space lich older than most of the galaxy with a mastery of "reconstruction" using the mystic arts of his dead patron to reanimate flesh and bio matter into creatures to serve his will. he was imprisoned eons ago when his team "the grand necrotic armada" was destroyed
currently he has mastered all main power sources of the quest, necrotic=dead things arc=lightning solar=sun fire and void= the black of space.
KYS you imposter, KYS and lord jadek shall make you into a worthy reconstructed
Anyone got the full Immortal's Handbook pdf? What the hell kinda campaigns were you even supposed to USE the shit in there for, anyway? It seems like an average party for that tier of content would basically oper8 on Gurren Lagann levels.
Parker Thompson
>quest >good
Christian Phillips
It's a surprising thought, isn't it? There are a few good ones out there.
Thanks, user. Time to spend a while laughing at these stupid huge numbers that don't even make sense.
Samuel Jones
>unsweetened tea
Nathaniel Flores
Listen bitch, I was just in the middle of an assault on my nemesis's moon fortress. Vampires mean jack shit to a guy who's a revengeance tier cyborg with a blade that was forged in a singularity outside of normal space time. I have no idea how I got here, but I have had a long fucking week and I'm not about to take crap from you.
John Edwards
I'm literally like ten tons and am covered in armored plating even when nude? I'm the size of a small tank or APC over here.
Anthony Wright
...
Owen Parker
Is your man an elephant
Xavier Bell
Sort of. Roughly that size, but a bug.
Ethan Hughes
FOUL MUTANT, ONE BY ONE YOUR KIND WILL FALL!
Benjamin Sanchez
PUURGGING WITH MMY KIIIN!
Jaxon Cruz
>current character >Mutants and Masterminds >Power Level 14 >Darth Vader + Dr Doom You're villainous presentation leaves...much to be desired. Allow me to retort. *telekinesis ensues*
Daniel Allen
>What the hell kinda campaigns were you even supposed to USE the shit in there for, anyway? There is one answer and one answer only
Matthew Morris
>Just wrapped up Curse of Strahd with my group >Character was a Belmont expy >"Oh, hell! I'm sorry, I was trying to snatch your arm before you ran away. How's your finger?"
Benjamin Kelly
I am Tobiasz the Goat, Scourge of Wroclaw. I hereby deeply apologize for intrusion and plea for a brief time of hospitality to gather myself.
