That Guy

One preface: this was a 3.5 game with no divine casters and no resurrection beyond the power of the wish spell. I played it nearly a decade ago, back in college

One of our players created a character whose entire motivation was providing for her young daughter. Her daughter had committed a crime that would have seen her cast from her clan and into exile, and the PC had elected to go into exile in her place so she would have a second chance to grow up in relative safety. The character sent most of her gold back to the town for her daughter, wrote letters to her inbetween sessions, and put a lot of stake in this relationship she was rping out.

This was a pretty consistent part of the campaign for about 13 levels worth of play. The player would always start the session by reading a letter she had sent to her character's daughter, and the GM would sometimes send a letter back to her.

One day, we encountered a caravan with and old crone telling fortunes on the side of the road. The fighter insisted on getting a fortune telling, but the fortune teller "didn't feel like it." The fighter continued to insist, at which point the fortune teller said her patience had run out, jumped up, and zapped the fighter with a ray beam while saying "I predict ruin for you!"

At this point the GM grinned, revealed the new copy of "Book of Vile darkness" she had picked up, and announced the fighter had just been zapped by "Love's Bain," a spell that remotely kills the person you love the most without a save.

The player went ballistic. She and the GM shouted and screamed at each other for maybe twenty minutes over whether what had just happened was fair, and whether or not it had ruined the story and the game. The player stormed out, crying, and everyone else uncomfortably packed up their shit and left while the GM quietly fumed in the corner.

We never met for another session.

No, what he did was Neutral and only because he informed them if he had left without saying shit that would be Evil, and Good would be staying and protecting them

nope

dm tried to railroad and killed npcs out of spite.

players are good, and the dm is evil.

>Good would be staying and protecting them
From a storm? Mind explaining how they'd do that

>Be me, rather than someone else
>The GM is a masterful crafter of stories and has created worlds so elaborate that Tolkien himself would be envious
>Our fifteenth hundred session and the GM invited THAT GUY
>A crooked nosed, rat-faced, triple tumblr landwhale nazi dyke bulldozer megaloracist
>I am aware that zhe will be a problem before anyone else, because I can judge people perfectly immediately after meeting someone for the first time
>THAT GUY brings a min maxxed furry supremacist siamese twin anthro wolf-fox-dog half-kender chaotic evil wizard using Book of Vile Darkness supplements
>Our session starts and THAT GUY is immediately introduced, and his only attempts at roleplaying are COMPLETELY WRONG and in a way I DON’T LIKE
>I politely inform him that zhe is playing the game wrong, and present to zhim completely irrefutable evidence that zhe was wrong
>My speech was so eloquent that everyone at the table could only look on in awe at me, amazed by my perfect arguments and unrelenting reason
>Rat-face the tumblr landwhale appears to be immune to my flawless logic and gets really angry at me for absolutely no reason
>I remind zhe that I have never been wrong in my entire life and I wasn’t going to start now
>Rat-face chimps out, flipping the table so hard that it does a double flip and lands perfectly where it was before, the action causing zher blubber to stretch out like taffy and coat nearly the entire room with it
>Everyone automatically agrees with me that she is That Girl without me having to ask for their opinion
>I pick up Rat-face and somehow manage to throw zher out of the room, through the window

And then everybody clapped.

This They didn't know ahead of time that there would be some super killer monster. They just knew it was a bad storm. The wind does not respect a fool.

>Find group to play with for me and my gf.
>We are having good time, one dude is getting on my nerves though.
>Is weird in general, makes the dumbest choices in game.
>Won't stop staring at my gf's chest
>Tries to tell her how to play the game, pisses her off.
>I pull him aside during a break and try talking to him.
>Before I start to talk about how is behavior is not cool I notice something strange about his beard.
>Has crumbs in it. Look closer.
>Motherfucker has ants in his beard. Crawling around in and out.
>Fucking ANTS. That's just an idea of how dirty this guy is.

Still blows my mind to this day. Worst neck beard I have ever laid eyes on. I've seen my share too. Wish I could burn the image from my mind.

wouldn't the ants like, bite him?

I wonder if there's a nest in there.

What a cunt GM. A player gets actively invested in your world, really gets interested in a character, and then he promptly pissed all over it.

What a cunt.

Teehee Maccaroni is the bane of my fucking existence.

Every fucking campaign that my GM runs inevitably at some point involves running into an NPC named "Teehee Maccaroni," who the GM affectionately describes as "an epic level sorcerer who's also a retarded nudist gnome."

Teehee Maccaroni wander the countryside with a unique Rod of Wonders powered by "retard magic" shoved up his anus, and he casts the Rod of Wonders by diddling his penis. He says nothing but his own name in different inflections and the phrase "I like-a the goodberry, gimme gimme the goodberry." The GM thinks it's hilarious to have this character show up during the middle of encounters we're struggling at and start jerking off magic everywhere.

But the worst part is his chant. He wanders around chanting his name, so when he's about to show up the GM will start low;
Tee-hee-hee, Maccaroni Maccaroni
Tee-hee-hee, Maccaroni Maccaroni
And then get louder and louder until he's fucking shouting
TEE HEE HEE, MACCARONI MACCARONI!
TEE HEE HEE, MACCARONI MACCARONI!

And the table loves it! The other guys I play with think this is the best shit! Teehee Maccaroni has been our table's de-facto inside joke, our signature "running gag" for six years now. When that chant starts up, everyone else joins in like a ritual; the whole table is expected to start chanting "TEE HEE HEE, MACCARONI MACCARONI" by the end, and every fucking time I refuse because this is some embarrassing circa-2002 Penguin of Doom shit, it's always the same thing; "There goes user again! No fun allowed around user! user's just a big grouch who's getting angry because we're making him touch Teehee Maccaroni's penis again! Why won't you just let us have fun with this character, he's just here for dumb fun, you stick-in-the mud!"

These motherfuckers are all over 25 years old.

Teehee Maccaroni is going to be the death of me.

Not that the story isn't enraging, but it loses a lot of oomph when you just copy/paste it.

vocaroo.com/i/s1y1mLEO8MBR

2/10 (You) tried.

well memed, friend

Bless you.

depends. could just be tiny black ants that literally cant do shit to a human.

WE DO NOT BITE THE HANDS OF THE ONE THAT FEEDS US

As the original poster of this one and the person who watched this happen at their table, I appreciate that you found it enraging enough to repost, but I'd really rather not turn it into a copypasta. It felt like a relevant story to recount for that specific thread, but it's not the sort of story I feel is worth telling over and over in that sort of way. Maybe screencap the original post for those threads, but I'd rather not let this one get on people's nerves from overexposure; I'll pull it back out when it feels appropriate to tell again.

Holy shit I remember those cards.

Ants frequently have symbiotic relations with other organisms, there are several species of tree in particular that have evolved special living areas for ants, and in return the ants clean and defend the tree.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vachellia_cornigera = example
So the ants may well see the human as a similar situation. They clean him, eat the dirt on his body, presumably keep him clear of parasites, and in return he provides them with his beard to nest in.
Truly, living as nature intended. A modern Adam.

>main motivation is killed with no chance at rescuing them
>not even given the chance to seek revenge or justice because it's just some fucking fortune teller
>GM grinning as they ruin a character completely

Is this a That Guy thread or a That DM thread

ants are not allowed on the internet, please

>Decide to run campaign for old friends from high school
>Most of them are cool, except for weed-smoking communist dude. Let's call him dickhead.
>Dickhead insists on killing any npc who get some more than a sliver of personality because "it's a dmpc. We have to kill dmpc's"
>Dickhead immediately decides his motivation will be the expulsion and/or genocide all non-halflings (which he was playing)
>Tries to join the bad guy
>Tries to rape female npc's and gets pissed when he's told to stop
Fuck that guy. I'm so glad he left the country to go and do some shit wherever he went to (he didn't say and I don't care).

>new player
>creates edgy lone wolf
>character doesn't like the group and never stays with us
>also doesn't like towns
>or people
>or most npc fractions
>asshole when he talks to us
>gets mad when we help him
>bad mouths us
>thinks he's the star of all fights
>drops in to use and take party stuff then fucks off
>refuses to join some quests at all even though it means he can't do anything for multiple sessions
>most of his play time is doing stuff by himself

apparently it's the parties job to make him be our best friend by doing what he wants. the character he made is an anti-social dickhead that isn't fun to talk to. player wise he gets rules lawyer on us and once tried to argue that something should have permadeathed one of the other players.

the dm is fine with all this. i'm not having fun anymore.

A GM can be a That Guy, they aren't mutually exclusive

It's beautiful, really.

I'm ashamed that I read all of that.

It's stale pasta

Talk to him. Talk to the DM. If the party regularly has to sit around and wait for this guy to solo rp because he's an asshole, you're wasting your time. He and the DM can do that on their own.

Thanks, Kahless!

...

Lets see how you reach your destination without a guide and provisions

>You need to waste your life for douchebags that don't heed a warning to be good.
That's not how morality works. By saving themselves they saved a couple of lives, which is damn more moral than letting everyone die. Besides, they did their moral duty by warning the caravan.

I kind of tried. A bit with the DM and during one game where he was being really difficult.

The DM is fine with his behavior even if it seems to bug others and waste time. DM even wants us to try and convince the guys character to join us on quests which is getting annoying since they've all known each other for a few months by now. We're still at "What do I get out of helping you?" with him. The player is even aware the character isn't fun to deal with and designed him to be that way. He seems to enjoy RPing an asshole.

Even if they would have known that there was a monster in the storm they still did the moral thing by warning people. You can't fault the ones doing the warning if the warned decide to stay the course.

If you can't work in a reasonable solution, might as well crash and burn. Talk with the other party members, see if you're all of the same opinion. If you are, the next time his character shows up, restrain him and beat him to death, then pawn all of his loot and spend the money on cheap whores.

...

The lone wolf thing has almost killed him a few times so I'm honestly holding onto hope he dies on one of his own adventures and rolls something less annoying.

There's a player in a group I'm in for a game that's being planned that has openly stated their intent to play a lawful stupid paladin

Which is baffling because everyone else seems to be planning to be some form of neutral, and she refuses to compromise on it

how many players?

if it's just her versus the entire party of neutral she'll either have to alignment shift or get killed by the party

unless she's hoping to be party leader

Yeah. Leave. Ask the other players if they want to play in another campaign.

Now we're getting into trolley problem level moral quandries here, as it depends entirely on your own perception of active vs passive morality, but it's indisputable that according to dnd logic, they tried the "good" option first, trying their damnedest to get those people out of the storm, and only when that failed did they abandon them, but not even to a monster intentionally, just bad weather. There was no way to know they were abandoning them to a monster, so you can't really stay they should have stayed with the caravan, as what good would that have done the caravan if there wasn't a monster? Everyone would have had to weather the storm, and that's it, the others wouldn't have had to weather it any less, so abandoning them couldn't be called wrong due to simple lack of knowlege. You're getting to the point where if the dm continues along that logic, any second you're not helping starving children in africa you're being evil.
And of course, by DnD logic, an evil action necessitates self-interest to the detriment of others. The group tried to help everyone, a good action, and abandoning them, if there was no monster, wouldn't have been any more to the caravan's detriment than remaining.

So, in conclusion, the players AT WORST were kinda neutral and unempathetic, and at best were good but knew their limits. No evil, the monster was something nobody could predict for and could not have been factored into any moral decisions at the time.

I recently presented my GM with an ultimatum that either he kicks my ex and her new bf out or the group or I walk? Does this make me That Guy?

Depends on if there is a bigger reason instead of "they are the couple of the woman that doesn't love me anymore and the guy who's fucking her."

If that's all, then yes, you should fuck off the table.

About 6 or so players.
She's not well liked by some of the group, so I'd wager that if my first surprise fireball missed, most of the group would back me up

And if I hit, they'd be mad that I was the only one to get a shot at her

It's been great until he showed up with this character.

The character just needs to have a little accident and everything will be okay.

Yes and no?

Did you break up with her before or after joining the game? If she and her bf were invited while you were already player and they knew about the social drama element then I wouldn't fault you for being mad.

She was cheating on me with him, a guy that was supposed to be one of my best friends for the past seven years. I'm more than a little mad about the extreme betrayal.
The GM wanted 5 players so I brought in my then gf who expressed interest in it. It's two months into the campaign and the affair was revealed last week.

That's pretty rough. I'd say your reaction is pretty understandable.

Yeah, fuck. I would kick them desu.

If they were willing to pull that shit on you, then they sound like people I don't want at my table.

Yeah, sitting across a table from those two is too much, that sucks hard.

Leaving is the healthy decision, if the DM wants to keep them for some reason.
Which no decent human being should or would.

I don't see how the trolley problem is relevant. They first warned people about a coming danger, even going so far as to suggest that they should abandon the goods that slowed them down, and then they saved a couple of lives. I honestly don't understand how anyone can view that as evil or even neutral.

>by DnD logic, an evil action necessitates self-interest to the detriment of others. The group tried to help everyone, a good action, and abandoning them, if there was no monster, wouldn't have been any more to the caravan's detriment than remaining.
This. Also, who's to say (besides the DM) that they staying would have had any different outcome for the caravan. The end result might just aswell have been worse if they didn't save themselves. I definitely can't see how throwing lives away can be considered morally good.

Yeah, your DM is a dick.

>GMing horror campaign
>players are new but very good at playing off the horror
>enter That Guy
>makes a character that has no reason to stick with the group
>roleplaying an unpleasant shit that insults everyone
>literally no sense of timing and context ruining the atmosphere
>no sells the horror constantly until it rubs off to the rest of the group
>start introducing willpower rolls in order to get an reaction other than "sigh, I shoot it"
>game ends up being an awful slog of mean spirited roleplay
>atmosphere of dread can't be restored no matter how much I try
>players are visibly frustrated with him
>Can't kick him because party likes him OoC subtly threatening to leave

This hobby needs to be culled

Does your DM know they did this or was it only revealed to you? If the first, you're better off without all of them.

Stop playing horror. Shift the campaign and try something new. If he's still being a shit player, kick him and state your reasons.

No, that's perfectly reasonable.

Oh, and if the GM somehow tells you that you should be the one to leave, then never speak with him ever again.

why do people create obnoxious characters that don't want to fit in the group

I don't get the appeal

It's usually either
A) they hate the setting and/or system and cannot bring themselves to make a legit character
B) they recently read about nonconformism and decided it's a cool thing that they should mindlessly do
C) they're a contrarian assburger

I once met someone on Veeky Forums who said his group was looking for more people to play in a text only game on Discord. The other 3 players were fine, but the one I met on Veeky Forums holy shit.

He was a literal shit fetish/pedo who constantly talked about wanting to kill himself, played a Mystic in 5e D&D with all the broken disciplines, tried to get the DM to let him change what ability scores all his features keyed off and also specifically built his character to be able to beat our characters in their areas of expertise.

Once we got into the game he started by attacking the captain of the guard (he was also playing a D&Dwiki race), burning down a building, trying to threaten us into working with him and then ran away from the group because he thought we all needed to say sorry to him.

He also outright said he refuses to play in games if they have PC death ever occur because he loves his characters too much.

>inb4 I'm him
If you're him then name what race you were.

You have a bad GM. Full stop.

>2 lines in.
This is going to be bullshit. I can already tell.

Attention. They want to be the center of attention. Its the reason 2nd graders lie about not liking chocolate.

These apply But also because they think that they can be justified with being a nuisance and trying to take the party reigns with a "it's what my character would do!"
I had a DH player once that really wanted to drag the party into murderhobo territory, so of course he made a Guardsman with stupid high STR so he can spam Intimidate at them. I was so angry at him trying to ruin the game, that I grew a pair and flat out refuse him to use Intimidate on anyone he pleased.
After that he always tried to do shit alone and always fucked up, because he thought himself a Swiss knife when in reality he was more of a Turkish spoon.
Then he got into a fight with the party and because they decided to arrest him in great detail, he just up and left.
Good riddance

I wanted to ask Veeky Forums whether I was being an asshole or That Guy, because even though it looks like he's going to begrudgingly accept my demand, if only because he's worried I'll stop driving him around, he has complained about how this'll kill the campaign and has wondered if we could resolve this without disrupting the group dynamic too much. I didn't think I was being too unreasonable, given the circumstances, but I thought checking in you guys to make sure was probably a good idea.
he found out a few minutes after I found out about it at a party

He wants to be the one and only main character but he wants others to watch.

If you have people willing to cheat on their partner in your group, then there is no group dynamic.

if he's your friend he should care more about what happened to you with the cheating than his fucking party dynamics and game potentially dying.

Wow that is brutal!

>if only because he's worried I'll stop driving him around, he has complained about how this'll kill the campaign and has wondered if we could resolve this without disrupting the group dynamic too much

Leave the game. You just got seven years worth of betrayal thrown at your face ,and he's worried about you not driving him and this killing the campaign? He's a selfish prick who cares more about his game and his own well being, as any shred of morality would have seen those two out on their asses.

You can do better, user. Do it.

I had a that DM
>Trying out roll20
>Looking for 40k roleplay
>Find a group as Chaos
>DM barely puts any effort in to our sessions, we barely have maps drawn and the sessions are just "Kill X amount of this"
>But I put up with it anyway
>We get to a point where our guys (all Chaos Space Marines) are spotted by an Inquisition servo skull
>It is revelaed that the servo skull was broadcasting to a Grey Knights detatchment in the sector
>The DM reveals that he has another group of Grey Fucking Knight players in another session and he wants us to PvP them at some point

Sounds cool, right? Except we're literally base level, and the grey knight group has been going for over a year.

Anyway, we're not even at the best part yet.

>Every time someone questions him, he snaps at them
>Shows up late all the time
>When he does show up, he just spends 30 minutes joking around (the generic 40k lolsorandum stuff, like the TTS series and shit) instead of DMing
>This one time he just talked about his ex for like 20 minutes straight before starting the session
>Snaps at a player so hard that he just says "guess we're not having a game anymore" and canceled the session

I was new to the Pen and Paper community. No excuse for tolerating this shit to the level that I did, but I did finally leave after he pulled the "guess the session is canceled today" shit.

That's actually a realistic reaction from the survivor, but a neutral action by you guys at worst.

I'd say embrace it and cripple the guide, leaving him to die.

Bane???

...

Gang up on him and kill his character.

>DandDwiki race
You didn't need to say anything else, that's bad enough.

Don't get mad - get revenge.

>[He] has wondered if we could resolve this without disrupting the group dynamic too much.
Shouldn't he be asking the cheaters this? After all it's them who fucked it up. Seems like he's just blaming the victim to me.

>If you're him then name what race you were.
African American

How do these kind of people rationalise their own behavior? Granted we've only heard from one side.

people are shit, some more than others

Maybe depends on how close to the GM you are, but either way I feel your pain, and I don't think it makes you 'that guy'.

That's not a rationalisation.

What an original story you're so creative

They don't. They just never take a step back and think "Wow, I'm a complete cunt." They just do it.

I know right! I'm in a campaign right now, one of the guys is just playing a disinterested Rogue, he plods along with us and gets on with the missions, but in game complains about it and doesn't interact with planning at all. On rare occasions it works out really fun and creates a really interesting plot, but it's hard for the rest of us to work out why our charcters are running with him and it ruins the immersion a lot of the time.

Well they still must have some reasoning behind their actions. Every douchebag can't be a psycopath or a five year old.

Ants don't do that

>source: ant autist

if it's unnatural behavior for ants doesn't that make it worse because he possibly put them in there

That story is obviously fake mate.