/cyoag/ - CYOA General

because its my birthday

You take that back. AM is the very essence of fun. Picking AM ensures a fun game for all 10 players.

You’re gonna be real sad when safelane carries get a major buff next Wednesday

Can you dotafags fuck off? Go meme about your shitty dying game somewhere else.

I used to play Dota, nowdays I just watch SingSing play Techies as carry. I feel like this is far more optimal way to enjoy Dota.

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Small God.

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>actually playing the game
It hurts to be so bad. So I just watch.

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>It hurts to be so bad.
You know what to do.

I pick Future Sight because that's the best one on that list by far.

How much does that scientist cost?

Genetics, second option.

Going through the Time of Troubles update, holy fuck is it hard to raise your stats. Which means a majority of the laws are worthless since you can't afford them.

Let’s see...without the cyoa to look at, I recall being Keeper of Secrets. With that in mind, I already have my own little pocket dimension, tower of learning an this deal is right up my alley. Stick the portal in my tower and we’re all set!

>Harem Upgrades
Smart Ladies (19)
Serving Ladies (18)
Kinky Ladies (17)
Magical Ladies (14)
Shapeshifting Ladies (12)
Drawback- Fewer Ladies, 10 (14)

Perfect complements to my actual role, no? I’d like to use them as librarians and research partners in my tower, but it doesn’t really speak to their ability to cross the Nether threshold

>Estate Upgrades
Hestia’s Kitchen (13)
Garden (12)
Bigger on the Inside (9)

>Lifestyle Upgrades
Panacea (7)

>Personal Upgrades
Body (6)
Shapeshifting (5)
Magical (4)

I had always assumed I could unlock the all of the above, utilizing my role. With everything available in the Tower, I figured the Keeper could learn and upgrade himself with all sorts of powers.
But, just in case, I’ll grab this shit anyway.

With the extra points...I guess I’ll make my Harem Hobbyists (3), Athletic (2), Talented (1), and...Very Smart (0)? It’s not like I’ll ever leave my Estate or Tower anyway

{1} Perfection; I hope to make the best of my indefinite lifespan, but would like to take this unique opportunity to acquire a few other things.
{4} Cruiser; to explore and traverse the universe.
{1} Replicator; essential for long journeys.
{3} Portal; to explore outside of the universe, too.
{1} Communicator; I should like to make some friends along my way.

In time I might acquire more benefits to cover other bases, but this is already more than I would ever ask for. Certainly more than I deserve.

Biopod (7)
Cloning (6)
Pocket World (4)
Ocular Node (3)
Nanoprobes (1)
Gauss Gun (0)

Does pocket dimension have to be affixed to a concrete point, or is it the type where it’s in an alternate reality that I can scoot into whenever?

Do my Enhancements apply to my Clones, or am I shit out of luck if I lose my original body?

>Harem upgrades
Smart Ladies
Athletic Ladies
Talented Ladies
Serving Ladies
Kinky Ladies
Waifu
More Waifu

>Estate Upgrades
Library
Gardens
Kitchen

>Lifestyle upgrades
More Money (x3)
Amazon ultraprime
Panacea

>Personal Upgrades
Intelligence augments
Body augments

>Drawbacks
Fewer Ladies (A harem of only 10 girls for 2 points)

My manor will be a mansion, with a Harem of 10 10/10 girls.

Holy because fuck fun.

>without the cyoa to look at

There's still no reason for Order and Chaos to fight, other than everyone ganking the Slayer and Netherlord and Satan having their personal slapfight in the magic dimension nobody else can access.

You can't fuck fun the fun fucks you

Literally no reason not to pick Architect, an hero, and become a god.

Educating the atheist masses, calling out the heathens on their misdeeds and unholy acts and faith, and watching sinners fall on their own swords is the most fun you can have. You perceive it as unfun because you haven't truly accepted the love of Christ into your heart yet. When you do, your heart will not be so restless and conflicted. Theological schadenfreude is a feeling not many today have ever had the priviledge of feeling, but spreading the gospel is a better feeling.

nigga your entire religion stole all of its shit from much older religions and civilizations

>Be the little girl
>Maul your enemies with imaginary wolves
Youngling a best

You're forgetting the part where other religions then stole from it in turn. If all the religions were people and lived in a village it would be a fucking Kender town.

Great choice user

What serious religion today rips off of Christianity?

Islam, Church of LDS, you name it. And that's just the ones actually stealing from it whole hog, not the ones just influenced by it.

Many religions have inserted Jesus into their religion.
Liars love hiding behind the truth, it's just further evidence that Christianity is true.

By that logic, all religions are false except the first person who invented the idea of a god.

That guy was wrong, too.

The sun is the one true god

sun a shit

thicc Mother Goddess is the one true god

Then the first person who had an idea is the creator of the only true religion. The moment we became capable of having ideas, we started worshiping those ideas.

Please name religions older than Christianity which the bible ripped off. Pro tip: There are none. The bible did not rip off the Greek mythology and say there were many Gods. Nor did they do the same for the Egpytian mythology. If there are any cases where Christianity stole something from an older religion and civilization, please tell me, I'd be interested to know.
The masons, and the talmud. The talmud is actually written Anno Dimini, not before. The talmud, and torah, mention Jesus several times, usually calling him a son of a whore and whatnot.
You too, user.

The entirety of the old testament

>Judaism doesn't exist at all, and there's no historical evidence for it. The dead sea scrolls are just old phonebooks or someshit.

Since last thread was moaning about waifus...

Judaism you dumb fuck

They worshiped the true God.
If you read the Old Testament you'll see that it points towards the coming the messiah.
God chose them for the messiah to be born into, Jesus Christ.

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Almost all of the alleged similarities between Christianity and pagan religions are wholly nonexistent. Most are fabricated or rely on pagan stories that emerged AFTER Christianity. You can certainly make a strong case for it being based off of Judaism, but then, that's kind of the whole premise.

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>new justice league
What? Post this.

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The sun is a goddess.

There's also the fact that the biblical creation story (down to the linguistics, if you read it in the original Hebrew) draws a lot - and I mean A LOT - from Enuma Elish, the Mesopotamian creation story.

If I could only make one CYOA real, what would it be?

>Enuma Elish
I couldnt resist

I always feel like this is the waify CYOA equivalent of Stardust. Stardust started as supposedly being about building your perfect crew and having a rad space adventure, but it eventually became about having tons of delicious waifus in your spaceship. This started off as a waifu menu, but almost every option includes some sort of hook for a rad space adventure, and as it goes along there's more and more of that.

At least Judaism didn't worship a shit goddess like Ishtar the way Mesopotamians did.

The end of course

>shit goddess like Ishtar
this guy knows whats up, that ho a shit

>Thicc mother goddess
>Not cute loli moon goddess

I'd pick either a meta cyoa that allows for multiple cyoa, because I'm bad at picking just one thing, or I'd pick Royal Revival even if I have to include the update.

>waifu menu
Is this term going to become a thing?

>Please name religions older than Christianity which the bible ripped off

Judaism, Zoroastrianism, Hellenic religion, ancient Mesopotamian religion. The cosmic dichotomy of Christianity is lifted directly from Zoroastrianism.

Of course, it's not really 'ripping off', these religions just influenced Christianity's creation and development. It happens all the time with religions, just as it happens with any school of thought that doesn't exist entirely in isolation.

>The bible did not rip off the Greek mythology and say there were many Gods

It did however 'rip off' a ton of imagery and ideas. 'One God or Many Gods' is not the only trait of a religious system.

well, yahwe isnt exactly a good god either (despite his personal claims)

hes a vicious vindictive dick who lets things go to shit and then bitches about it, then does convoluted stupid shit which doesent fix anything and expects to be praised for it

You mean other than the perfect comfitude that is the CYOA you already posted? Probably that one or the Cuddle CYOA.

The old testament is part of the Gospel, yes. It's a continuation, unless you want to argue that luke is the cutoff and not romans, or that anything past ezekiel is wrong and not joel, than your argument does not hold water. It is a continuation, and a buildup. You have the prophecies foretold and the Christ who fulfills it.
See, you use the sea scrolls as an argument, but I would wager you don't actually know what's within them except that rabbis use it as an excuse and an "example" for how they didn't really reject Christ and how judaism is and always has been a seperate religion and they don't worship a fake idol God like the non-jews do. The torah and talmud is just the writings of rabbis after the death of Christ. They're meant to act like a library or an early wikipedia, not to be holy writ.
Give me a million dollars for every argument your post makes, and I'd be penniless. Give me a penny for every fedora I tipped in recognition to your post, and I'd be a millionaire.

>even if I have to include the update
>Saving my sister is too hard bawww

The one you posted. I can’t even tell you how much I want it and damn Rosanon for this pain I’ll carry till my death

If we’re talking Adventure cyoas, I’d say Necromancer

Yep, a Zeitgeist-watching retard, as I suspected.

>Born of a virgin
Really? Horus was born from Isis having sex with Osiris's reanimated dick. There's nothing "virgin" about that, dumbass.

>Crucified and resurrected
...No. Not at any point. This is so absolutely made up it's not even funny. Whoever made this chart is an absolute retard.

>Baptism
Ritual washing and the once-in-a-lifetime rite of baptism are in no way the same thing.

I'd love a source, though, if you happened to discover an ancient text that contained all these fascinating bits that the scholars in the field have all somehow missed but you and that Zeitgeist jackass somehow got your hands on.

They did though. They just called her Astarte and possible Asherah.

I am still salty about the tower.

At least he won't blackmail you into sex then fuck your dad while killing you and laughing at your corpse, or if you refuse her, genociding your entire nation.

By Allah you people make me wish to go on pilgrimage to mecca just to get away from you.

the old testament predates the gospels

no, hell just nuke you because hes mad at the gay guy next door

>The cosmic dichotomy of Christianity is lifted directly from Zoroastrianism

Failed theology 101, I see. Zoroastrianism posits a dualistic battle between good and evil. Christianity posits that the cosmic order is an all powerful good God, and the primary villain is human sin. Satan doesn't pose any threat to God -at all-, nor can he even threaten a human soul. He can screw things up and hurt or tempt people, but he's not even remotely close to an equal-but-opposite force of evil.

Astarte isn't the same as Ishtar, if you'll look her up. She was originally a hero goddess of sorts. Now, that was the Sumerian version though, who was like some clever teenage girl and a trickster. The Levantine version, Asherah, was typified and described more like a pure mother goddess who dutifully served her husband. These three all descended from the same original figure, yes, but by the time we actually get recorded instances of them, they are vastly different. Ishtar is a hateful and violent prostitute, Astarte is lewd but mainly about being clever and achieving beyond your station, and Asherah is about being a mother and marriage goddess.

Babel tower 2.0 when?

That's not my issue with it, I'm fine with saving her with it. It just feels like the parts it dictates that I did, are not the things I would do. Like the potion bit that hides me while the king goes off and dies/traps best sis.

Sodom and Gomorrah literally did not have even ten righteous men. They were absolute hellholes of depravity and evil. The fact that their first reaction on having visitors was "let's rape them" should tell you all you need to know.

The fact that you're nearly as salty as Lot's wife about this whole thing is interesting.

Even if you could save her, you'd need to spend decades of your limited, mortal life doing it instead of anything else. Your whole life will be a misery.

Isn't Aphrodite also thought to have been derived from this deity rather than from a Minoan source? That'd be a neat cyoa, having all these disparate shards of the same original goddess squabbling with each other, and you either having to figure out a way to put her back together again to get a more powerful waifu at the cost of her being more chaotic/primordial, or keeping just a single shard who is weak but more manageable/human.

It's the same dichotomy with the superior logic of Zoroastrianism removed in favour of the arrogant yet humbled post-Exile Hebrew need to make their god unquestionably the biggest and best.

>Don't worship idols, no idolatry; they're forbidden
>Here, bow down to this giant fucking box instead
There's a reason most muslims are illiterate.

>Im going to send plagues to egypt because they keep slaves
>however jews keeping slaves is daijobu

It's not clear, the Greeks are Indo-European and so is there religion, and their closest related religions are the other pagan religions of Europe. A lot of people theorized that Aphrodite is from Ishtar, but that was before the concept of Indo-European was essentially proven, so some people were stupid and thought the Greeks were related to Arabs.

>needing decades
Bitch it took her less than a year to save your dumb ass from dead. You could just kill her, trap her soul, get the evil to infect some criminal asshole, superkill the evil and asshole, and bring back sis. Also there were mentions of life extending things, like the apples the one prince offers, and apparently a crystal that has a similar effect.

"Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image" could just as easily refer to the cross as to the box, you retard.

Didn't Zoroastrianism inspire several gnostic elements in Catholic offshoots, like the Manicheans that Augustine was a part of?

Guys, this is a CYOA thread. Just let the zealot keep pretending that Christianity is the sole island in the realm of religion, free of influence from anywhere else. Nothing anyone says will ever convince someone like this otherwise.

T&T motherfucker. Hemomancers are rabid dogs, put them down.

That is why I like some of the non-canonized books, like the so-called Book of Judas. It adds to the consistency (why punish the guy who is helping you absolve ALL OF MANKIND'S SINS)

And I suppose you literally worship the fucking cross the Prophet Isa died upon? Give me a break.

Caucasoid and near east philosophies and religions get... weird with all the mingling.

>And I suppose you literally worship the fucking cross the Prophet Isa died upon? Give me a break.

To be fair, items like the nails and fragments of the cross that Jesus was crucified on were considered great artifact for a long time. Not to mention there are 3-4 lances around Europe that people claim are the one that pierced Jesus.