ITT: Post tabletop overreactions

>"why not it's jus ta sack of rotting meat"
>DM: "you're just not allowed to"
>just say ok
>watch the party walk and hunt for another three in game days
>literally NOTHING has happened in like 4 hours
>end up laying my portfolio on the table
>tell group anyone can have it and leave
>next week DM kicks my friend out of the game too
>keep up on the game through another player
>apparently their character started to get pretty strong
>so the DM created a magical clone NPC of them
>who was even stronger
>and added them to the party
>also every player had to retire their character at like level 7 or so and start over
>or else they would be too powerful

Worst DM I have ever run into.

DR is ridiculous. It's is one of the best things a player can have. A low lvl player with 3 DR is king. 5 DR is God. Anything higher than 5 at low levels is fucking ridiculous.

Depending on setting, system and lvl.

Do you live in a colony of castrated children chained to radiators in his basement?

Why on earth did you not laugh in his face and leave after the first 30 minutes of Waiting for Godot: The Campaign.

how could anyone put up with that shit wtf

I liked how it was an in character requirement to wake up on a beach with amnesia.

I certainly couldn't. But two of the players were friends of mine and I figured it'd be fun to join the game. I only lasted that long so I could leave with one of them but I couldn't take it.

I feel like you could have talked that one out. Where the other guy leaves and not you.

If my friends broke my shit in a autistic fit of rage I wouldn't let them come back. Possibly ever but depending.

I'm not saying this is what happened but everything about this screams "user making up a story to piss off Veeky Forums as much as possible".

So I playing with a group in a pathfinder game.

I'm a LG fighter. Who is a training to be in the town guard, because my character showed higher promise after basic guard training, the cities wizard council sent me on a quest to guide and protect a group of adventures they hired to do plot stuff.
One of the party members is this half elf ranger who when provided the opportunity backstabbed the party. He did this is Secret and was waiting for a time to enact his double cross of the wizzard council/the party.

My LG character saw him conspiring with the enemy leader. So I told on him and asked the wizzard council permission to dismiss their backstabber.

He OOC heard me say this and flipped the fuck out. Claiming that his character openly conspiraring in front of my character wasn't cause for my character to know his plans. Even when It was obvious my character could hear everything and see it all.
When I say flipped out I mean he was ranting and raving and threatening me and shit.

Naw I can see it happening. Some people are wierd.

Bump for more stories.

This thread is probably better than whatever will replace it.

My worst is pretty tame by the standards of this thread, but it has the benefit of not being a fiction created to harvest (You)s.

> playing Return to the ToEE in PF
> I'm a blasting wizard for some reason
> another dude is a Druid with the flame domain
> That Guy is a warpriest
> we're in a confined space fighting waves of undead
> druid, going over his spell list when it's not his turn, realizes Wall of Fire does extra damage to undead
> I too happen to have that spell prepared
> hey user instead of charging into this next room and getting surrounded, I'll cast wall of Fire on the far exit and you cast it on the doorway leading in
> The zombies will take damage every turn because the room isn't deep enough to be 40ft away from both walls, unless they run through a wall and range even more
> we do it
> Okay warpriest ready actions to smack any that try to run this side
> "That's a stupid idea. I charge into the room."
> warpriest takes damage from crossing my wall
> provokes attacks of opportunity from zombies on the other side
> makes his one attack
> takes damage from the walls
> surrounded on all sides by zombies
> lolded before any of our turns
> gets really salty at us for not rescuing him and the DM for "specifically targeting" him

"Shit that didn't happen" is pretty much the worst Veeky Forums meme at this point. Worse than "BBEG, Ugh."

That's a 9/10 plan. But couldn't you just yell loud to get the zombies attention, then cast your ready action spell "Wall of fire" ok the door. So the zombies are burning and dieing as they slowly funnel through the door.

Literally the same plan but you save a wall of fire. You can then have 2 people ready to swing at the first zombies to walk out.

I don't think this is an over reaction but it is kinda cringey/triggering ok a small lvl.

Be playing a Lvl 4 paladin in full plate, built to tank with a higher strength. Have a 3rd party caster in the group who "curses" my paladin with a spell that makes people other than myself fail to interact with me 50% of the time. Meaning grapples and attacks are less relavant since people can't really touched me. And if they do they have to deal with a tank built paladin and his party.

>Party about to walk into room
>DMPC wants to go first but the protectadin Paladin doesn't want to risk him cuz I'm good and the DMPC can't die or we don't get money.
>Go into room with party behind.
>Everything going smooth and as planned.
>Get phone call. Drunk sister needs a ride, can't let her die, or get caught drunk driving again.
>Ask party to wait. While I take 10 mins to deal with personal things.
>Back in literally 10 mins.
>They kept playing without me but kept my character there and another player playing my paladin.
>Tell me I died and got my head chopped off.
>Say a bunch of lower CAR humans picked up the literal over 500 pound tank in full plate... With only a 50% chance to even get to try, to beat my high as fuck CMD, againts a Paladin and his party...
>Weak NPCs carry my character away and set up a scene for the party to follow into and watch my character willingly getting his head chopped off.
>Was literally only gone 10 mins.

I'm certain the DAM was just Butt heart I asked his DMPC to stand back since he wanted his DMPC to one shot the entire room or some shit. Shit DM/10

you realize that the players in your party hate you, user? otherwise none of that would have happened

That autocorrect though

Low CR. Not Car.

We don't have some kinda magical "furry" race of short Car people.

Yea. Most didn't want to challenge this DAM because we where using him for his house and soda. But clearly my friends are shit.

It's been years later and only 2.5 people from that group isn't trash now. They do nothing but smoke pot and eat off welfare and crash in some Creeps basement. Sad but true/10. But the others that im still close with arnt doing bad.

>2 jackass players spend their entire time talking out of character, cracking jokes and stuff, even though the game already started at least 45 minutes ago
>keep reminding them to tone it down, that we are playing right now, etc... nothing works
>getting real tired of their shit... lose my own, and throw my pen as if it was a goddamn shuriken at someone's face
>another player totaly unrelated to the whole thing receives it. It rebounds on his cranium, and it takes him some time to register what had just happened
>tears starts to roll from his cheeks but he says nothing, because he's just such a big nice guy who came to have some fun, not to spend a bad time. He bottles up his anger, clenches his teeths, and makes his best impression of the bodhisattva
>scared, the two jerks finally shutted up, and we were able to finish the game as planned

And that was the story of how I became a demon.
I was 19, and I still regret this 10+
years later... I'm regretting having missed one of those two cunts, that is. Big dudebro is fine, and doesn't hold me any grudge whatsoever

youtu.be/YWdD206eSv0

I have a similar story. But mine didn't escalate like that at all.

>Player in a group with a good DM.
>2 players sit back, one kinda looks likes he is paying attention half the time, but the other half the time he is talking. Then the 2nd player just plays on his Phone all the fucking time.

>DM asked phone guy to put up the phone.
>He dose.
>15 Minutes later into a nice description moment we hear BADING.
>Look over, fucker has a tablet...
>DM says. Please put the tablet away.
>Some time later we are in combat.
>His turn.
>user your turn!
>Playing on a Nintendo....

Phone guy was a little young for our group. If it wasn't a public game he wouldn't have been there.

Dark heresy is different. 8 soak can be gotten if you have mediocre toughness and decent armor

Your story reminds me of the night I spent in a game a friend of mine ran for like his girlfriend, a couple of her friends, and one of their boyfriends. Played for maybe four hours. In the forest. No monsters, no plot, no goal, no civilization or npcs. All they did was make skill checks.

One girl would say she walked to the beach and fished. She would roll fishing one hundred times. That is not hyperbole, she was told she could make one hundred rolls in a day. She would roll one hundred times and write every result down. She would keep track of how many successes or failures she got. The UK would describe a beach covered in dozens of dead fish she had caught. She'd go to sleep, wake up, repeat. Once she had five hundred successes or something, her fishing skill went up one level.

Another girl did the exact same thing with hunting. Another with chopping wood. For hours. I asked my friend if they had played this game for very long and he said weeks, sometimes every night for hours. They had whole spiral notebooks of skill rolls and lists of materials they had collected. How many thousands of logs or acorns. I asked if they did anything else and he said no. This was all they liked to do. These three girlswere super into it.

I could not even stand up to leave I was so transfixed by how boring it was.

Were they playing ff14?

Damn, and here I am at my DM that I'm not taking damage. We were tasked to rescure a village from a bandit raid, but despite my squishy wizard throwing himself to the open, throwing down lightning and melting face, and announcing himself and calling out every bandit, everything to make himself a high priority target, the bandits completely ignored him and focused on slaughtering the villagers. Why?

>when k-mmo animals try and play a real game

>guy playing a gnoll paladin is walking thru a desert town
>goes up to a temple to find that it's eerily quiet
>realizes there's nobody out on the streets in town, and there's the weird smell of blood lingering in the air
>sees an old little man waddling down the stairs from the temple
>immediately knows somethings up, decides to detect evil
>overwhelming, he gets stunned and is described as getting a nose bleed while this happens
>begins flipping out, demanding a saving throw and whatnot
>is told he doesn't get to make one
>starts calling the dm a killer dm and a piece of shit, says the dm is just fursecuting him for playing nothing but gnolls
>gets explained that thats what the spell does in the book, and they arent even in combat, the nose bleed was purely cosmetic
>dude leaves the table for the night, says he needs to just cool off
>hasnt came back in eight months
>finds out that something bad is going to happen to his (fallen, retired) character, begins to sperg out and start talking about how he's going to smite and kill the new party that is going to take him as an NPC hireling to go investigate an old rival of his
>gets offered to come back to the game
>"i sure if i want to go"
>begins crying over the phone complaining that we're just bullying him and judging him
>gets asked why he's taking a silly tabletop game so seriously
>"i consider my characters a part of me and they're my family"
im fucking dead.

I like gnolls, I really do. The savage man-hunting and dark ritual kind. But a gnoll paladin? What the hell kind of game were you playing?

Here goes mine:
>Get group together after school
>it's dnd 3.5 and I'm running a module
>first time DM'ing dnd
>party is well balanced: fighter, wizard, ranger, rogue
>get to dungeons entrance after little npc town and roleplaying
>fight rats, everything going super well and fun
>they get to the entrance and deal with the first trap
>simple pitfall trap
>fighter leads group to door and eats trap, falling in and dealing with spikes
>party helps him out and heals him
>party stands around, trying to figure out what to do with this ten foot trap in front of the door
>mentioned door has ledge, figure the rogue would try to stand on it and picklock the door
>nope
>fighter gets party together to take down the crumbling brick work and to throw them at the door, hoping to bust a reinforced keep door down
>proceeds to roll shit
>end up filling the trap hole with enough brickwork to make steps to the door
>enters first room, decide to make camp
>rogue opens another door before they settle down
>does nothing with the room, just leaves it
>room contains skeletons that summon after a certain amount of time or upon entry
>party gets naked because they don't want to sleep in armor
>time passes and they fight skeletons while naked and surprised

It was a short dungeon after that, but hey, we had fun.

Ok

>they throw bricks at the door until it fills up the pit
I'm imagining this and it is hilarious.

...

>fighting hydra
>kill it
>i cut off scales to sell and make armor from
>barbarian gets mad i wont do what he says
>he knocks my character out in game and kills him
>i say im done playing and that hes acting childish/not the boss of me
>he gets up and starts yelling at me
>i leave the table to have a smoke outside while him and dm have a yelling match about whether or not my character was being a piece of shit

what did your barbarian want you to do? cutting of it's scales to sell it seems perfectly reasonable and something most characters shouldn't object to

he wanted us to leave the area or something.

>D&D: the early access survival open world experience

for what reason? is your barbarian just autistic?

dm told me later hes just a super controlling guy. open defiance doesnt fly well with psychos

To be fair, I've wanted to do the same thing to that guy who wastes everyone's time trying to harvest vendor trash from every creature we kill.

normally i would to, but my appraisal check put the current value per scale at 3 gp and we had a bag of holding. also i couldve taken the scales to a specialized smith and made scale armor which wouldve been great for our tanks