Hey Veeky Forums wanna help me write a 40k alternate universe?

You mean, basicly like 40k was, before the Horus Heresy Books and Matt Ward?

Not really because I feel that the chaos gods have a bit of narrative difference.

Khorne and Nurgle have all their worshippers in one box, but tzeentch and slaanesh have more room for variation.

>make it weirder and more expansive with more room for strange stuff like rogue trader
How do you mean?
>remake all the chaos gods so that they have writing opportunities besides "murderer" or "happy cancer man" (maybe something based on the 7 deadly sins)
They're all pretty dynamic. Khorne ranges from berzerkers to death cults to fight club, variants of the same theme. Nurgle can range from AIDs cults to ecologist cults. Tzeentch and Slaanesh obviously have lots of variance
>rewrite the emperor so that he's consistent and interesting
Immortal gestalt super wizard should act pretty cryptic
>rewrite the primarchs
Why
>overhaul all the Xenos and add more factions
Why? And you can just add minor xenos factions, the Tau were supposed to be just one of hundreds of minor alien races that exist. What do you not like about the existing races?

Rogue trader had awesome things like hair squigs and rokkas. Crazy things like the jokero and the enslavers also wouldn't have existed without rogue trader. That should have remained as the setting continued, after all it's a big galaxy, tons of room for the bizzare.

Slaanesh worshippers can do anything the others can do. If that's not unbalanced I don't know what is. Plus enternal chaos is stupid and should be written out.

Emperor should still have some rhyme and reason, as we are viewing him from the outside.

Some primarchs as idiots and others are so smart and well written they make the others look like children.

Xenos races that could completely wipe the foor with the others don't. For some reason. I also believe that the tau kinda go against the aesthic of the setting and that should be fixed.

>Slaanesh worshippers can do anything the others can do. If that's not unbalanced I don't know what is.
What do you mean by unbalanced? Why would a slaanesh cult spread disease, or be dedicated to ingesting ancient texts, or being dedicated to martial honor?

>Plus enternal chaos is stupid and should be written out.
Why exactly? Also, Chaos was sufficiently threatened by Emp's plan to snuff them that they orchestrated the heresy so they aren't undefeatable.
>Emperor should still have some rhyme and reason, as we are viewing him from the outside.
>Some primarchs as idiots and others are so smart and well written they make the others look like children.
BL is has a half dozen different authors, a symptom of that more than anything. Also the Primarchs should act like children with daddy issues. The traitors rebelled out of personal animus, not for political gain. Changing that would be dumb.

>Xenos races that could completely wipe the foor with the others don't. For some reason.
What do you mean by this?

>I also believe that the tau kinda go against the aesthic of the setting and that should be fixed.
Nids don't exactly fit gothic space fantasy either.

>Xenos races that could completely wipe the foor with the others don't. For some reason. I also believe that the tau kinda go against the aesthic of the setting and that should be fixed.

Can you name one race that can?
>crons
1/5 is awake in current canon.
>nids
Very 'recent' race in current canon. Not many fleets have arrived
>eldar
Too few to be a tangible threat
>tau
The literally who? of races. If any faction really wanted to, they could wipe them out.
>orks
Disorganized as fuck but. But a tangible threat of unified.

>tau out of place
I think crazy Space communists that repress the populations just as hard as the imperium is ok.

You know that the necrons could make sol go supernova with the push of a button right?

Google "the celestial orrery"

Outside of specific codex based wank, how is the setting imbalanced?

Which writers do you see as causing the clutter?

How has money impacted the setting? And what is a good setting in your eyes?

You do realize that chaos can no longer lose now right?

Emperor comes back and Chaos will go back to stalemate status

Do you want it to be good?

Pretty simple, either it doesn't exist or it's like it's now but played for laughs, as it should.

No like they can never lose.
The emperor can die, chaos can never die anymore.

Isn't that just ITEHATTSD?

1) Chaos should be more chaotic. The big 4 should have to be constantly fighting off up-and-comers wanting to take their places.
2) Chaos should be a lot less human-and-eldar-centric and reflect the mental fuckery of other non-human/eldar species. There should be weird-ass shit in there which may not even be threatening to humanoids but which from our point of view makes absolutely no sense whatsoever.
3) There should also be something like pic related. Having humanoid-related Chaos be nothing but negativity badwrongevil all day erryday is edgelord faggotry.
4) Large human factions which loathe the Imperium and want no part of it yet also think Chaos sucks balls and fight it off just as ferociously, and even more effectively - Interex, I'm looking at you.
5) Overhaul all the Xenos and add more factions like this guy said
6) Give Der Kaiser a name. Sigmar has a fucking name, why not Emps? Kanye Ramesses von Super-Christ Vishnu, whatever, anything other than just "da Emperor."
7) The Scattering fails, Der Kaiser AND HIS WIFE get to raise/train their Primarchs, and at the head of his Hochseeflotte and Raum Marine Soldaten, He personally leads them in his Most Glorious Great Crusade - where the game would be set - to reunite the human diaspora before leading them back to the heights humanity occupied during the Dark Age of Technology and beyond
8) Last but not least, MORE FORMIDABLE OPPONENTS. Your hero is only as good as the opposition he overcomes, and according to the Black Library HH books Emps & Company only ever fought Pygmys. Which makes no sense, because in canon the Interex, for just one example, are supposed to be the closest extant thing to Human Civilization as it was during the Dark Age of Technology, when people were basically demigods. The Imperium should have lost as least 3 entire Legions trying to take those fuckers down.

What about this. The emperor is actually malcador who is a psychic god but human and not composed of spirit.

The emperor we know and love is actually the first primarch, and acts as the Horus stand in as he is corrupted by chaos during the crusade. The actual primarchs follow him, but some catch on leading to the heresy and malcador on the throne.

The person who the imperium worships is actually the biggest traitor as malcador stays out of the limelight.

I think new chaos gods based on the 7 deadly sins would be cool.

>Bill Nye
Not anymore

What did he do to trigger you, /pol/tard, say that women are humans too? Fuck off.

Shut up and stop trying to start shit.

I don't browse pol but as a biologist, bill's claim that gender is separate from the body is shaky at best considering that we have no proper evidence to support that. As a scientist he should steer clear of such topics until we have proper evidence to support that.

>gaslighting
Nice try shitbrain.

>Using the term "gaslighting"

Go to /leftypol/. You're as much scum as /pol/ is.

>pretending to be 'reasonable moderate'
Shut up and stop being a cancer who drags politics into everything. This thread is about creating a cool alternate universe 40k.

With that said, on to the aesthetics of the setting: Gothic is all very fine and dandy, but a galaxy-spanning Imperium shouldn't and wouldn't be a mono-culture. I'd love to see battlefleet art nouveau or battlefleet art deco, to name just a few.

This is why I think a civil war AU could work.

Big E (or malcador) dies and the sons gather land. Each of the lands have different aesthics according to the owner (new primarchs) and they have infighting.

Not just differing in terms of art and architecture, but musical tastes as well:

>Music is like candy - you're supposed to throw the rappers away!
>Taste my steel, rockist infidel dog!
>Country? EXTERMINATUS NOW
>Lieutenant, on THIS ship it's Ludwig Van or the airlock - which do you choose?

>ludwig van ultra-violence

So a quick recap
>chaos gods are based on the 7 deadly sins
>malcador is the true emperor
>the first primarch who is known as the emperor is the traitor
>primarchs shaped areas of the imperium
>Xenos getting a buff
>whole word has taken the wild wasteland feat

Well if you don't mind, I'll start writing pride.

I'll take a swing at some o' these.
>2) Chaos should be a lot less human-and-eldar-centric and reflect the mental fuckery of other non-human/eldar species. There should be weird-ass shit in there which may not even be threatening to humanoids but which from our point of view makes absolutely no sense whatsoever.
To be fair, Humanity is the most(? Well, I mean, Orks have their own non-Chaos thing going on) populous species in the galaxy, and the Eldar not only once held that spot, but are also incredibly psychic. It makes a certain degree of sense that the Warp reflects their dominance. But some truly ayylien Chaos elements could be cool.
>3) There should also be something like pic related. Having humanoid-related Chaos be nothing but negativity badwrongevil all day erryday is edgelord faggotry.
It's a lot easier to destroy things than to fix them, and it's a lot easier to go overboard than it is to use restraint. There absolutely should be some Warpy fuckers that aren't ultraedge, but Chaos is going to be dominant simply because it's easier for them to exist. Also, Chaos probably ate whatever nascent lowercase 'g' gods most species had cooking, so yeah.
>4) Large human factions which loathe the Imperium and want no part of it yet also think Chaos sucks balls and fight it off just as ferociously, and even more effectively - Interex, I'm looking at you.
Best way to do this? After the Heresy, or whatever Civil war/struggle that afflicts the Imperium in this AU, the recently conquered regions on the further edges break off. The areas that never had the time to be "Imperialized" and have fairly decent reasons to hold a grudge. The further fringes of Human Space should be chock full of petty star kingdoms, confederations, and the occasional Soissons-style Imperial remnant rather far behind 'enemy' lines.

>6) Give Der Kaiser a name. Sigmar has a fucking name, why not Emps? Kanye Ramesses von Super-Christ Vishnu, whatever, anything other than just "da Emperor."
I think it's mostly to preserve the mystique of Big E. But whatever, names are good. He's some kind of ancient Anatolian fucker, right? We could probably pull a name from that cultural stew o' that region. Or failing that pull from Byzantine stuff. Y'know, because Roman aesthetics and is from Anatolia? Or if we want to be lazy beyond what even GW stoops to, we could call him Adam or Prometheus or some shit.
>7) The Scattering fails, Der Kaiser AND HIS WIFE get to raise/train their Primarchs, and at the head of his Hochseeflotte and Raum Marine Soldaten, He personally leads them in his Most Glorious Great Crusade - where the game would be set - to reunite the human diaspora before leading them back to the heights humanity occupied during the Dark Age of Technology and beyond
I kinda like the Scattering, on account of it letting a bunch of superhuman demigods get raised by usually unqualified fuckers so they turn out like a pantheon of crazy assholes. But hey, it's been done. Seeing what the Emperor had in mind could be cool, but I worry it could go TOO well. Because they're fucking Primarchs given the education and guidance to fully carry out the Emperor's will instead of Big E having to salvage a bunch of lunatics.

>vas the prideful
The chaos god of pride. Sits in a silver and marble palace.

Chaos gods are unknowable but the followers aren't. The followers are always looking for ways to be prideful, be it winning sports games adorning their weapons with so much gold and jewelry that it barely functions.

The followers always have their wealth on display and throw feasts to brag about the favor of their god.

His daemons are silver they endlessly bragging out their deeds.

>the angels
Are his footsoldiers, who look like angels made of silver. They adorn their skin with their every kill, the oldest are seemingly covered in words.

>the horses
are his mounts who barely look ridable. They are silver tripods, which walk and carry the angels to battle.

>archangels
His angels that fill every piece of skin with a worthy opponent, become archangels. They stand 12 feet tall and have 8 wings and 4 arms, wielding golden weapons covered in Jewels.

Not even him. Tale your leftist shit to /leftypol/ and fuck off.

>the Orks
I forgot all about them, shameur dispray. I'm tempted to keep them as is since they are just the best comedy relief foe ever. But in line with my earlier comment about the humans facing more formidable enemies, we should see them evolving under the pressure of the Great Crusade. Supposing it was the Emperor and his Legions which had to face down The Beast?

>There absolutely should be some Warpy fuckers that aren't ultraedge, but Chaos is going to be dominant simply because it's easier for them to exist.
But chaos doesn't have to mean 'negative' since it just seems to be a churning mass of emotions and whatnot. Empathy, joy and especially love an be extremely strong in their own right.

>The further fringes of Human Space should be chock full of petty star kingdoms, confederations, and the occasional Soissons-style Imperial remnant rather far behind 'enemy' lines.

Yes, but these should all be the surviving remnants of human civilization after the ravages of Old Night. Because I think the setting should be in 30K, not 40. When the Emperor was just beginning his Great Crusade, the future hadn't yet been written, and things could still go either way. To me that is far and away the most interesting time.

>call him Adam or Prometheus or some shit
Or perhaps Iry-Hor.

>I worry it could go TOO well. Because they're fucking Primarchs given the education and guidance to fully carry out the Emperor's will instead of Big E having to salvage a bunch of lunatics.
This is true, hence the need for far more formidable opponents than the wussies they face in the actual fluff.

what is the BEST game in existence?

gender is a cultural construct. What you mean is biological sex which is a different but related concept.

40k? More like Fourty Gays

The Emperor had a younger brother who fell to Chaos. In an apocalyptic battle that destroyed Atlantis, he was defeated and cast into the Warp. He eventually regained form but only inside the Eye of Terra where he is now trapped, thus influencing events against the Imperium.

Fanfic tier and edgy, as it should be

This is the quote that derailed the thread

/pol/ ruins everything and shoves politics into everything

>In the twisting nightmare of the Warp, there is a place of pure silver. Silver trees shine against silver stones, artfully arisen into silver columns and silver frescoes. It is beautiful, but in a sharp, painful way, its proportions too precise, its surfaces too smooth. Silver angels guard it, their bodies shining and superb, perfectly proportioned down to the unerringly androgyne smiles on their faces.
>At it heart sits Vasshun, the Pinnacle, the Zenith of Creation, Chaos God of Pride. He is painful to behold, his body a rigid, cubist nightmare both beautiful and terrible to behold. His form is coated in the fine spirals of the Golden Mean, which trail off his flesh and into infinity, fine edges of platinum and steel accenting his strange, incomprehensible form. He is the sun at it's zenith, the impossible goal that all life strives to reach, the madness of endless men and xeno alike. His barest touch of power invites mania and focus beyond measure, and his Princes are almost more art than daemon.

I would explain that, but you're clearly a moron.

>Supposing it was the Emperor and his Legions which had to face down The Beast?
Based on my incredibly basic understanding of 40k lore (that is to say, the wiki) the Beast was actually a half-dozen Big ol' Orks cosplaying as Primarchs/Prime Orks, yeah? I get a mild chuckle imagining that Chaos, in the process of 'ree'ing over being unable to do the Scattering, winds up causing a few more Prime Orks to show up due to the psychic echoes of the traitors they would've otherwise gotten their mitts on. Cue eternal wriggling laughter from the squiggliest god, because that's just the sort of dumb shit it'd try and pull off.

>Because I think the setting should be in 30K, not 40. When the Emperor was just beginning his Great Crusade, the future hadn't yet been written, and things could still go either way. To me that is far and away the most interesting time.
I sorta like the idea of a setting just slightly past 30k where everything's in flux, the Imperium is still picking up the pieces, and many factions are settling in for the long haul.

>This is true, hence the need for far more formidable opponents than the wussies they face in the actual fluff.
I worry that this could quickly spiral into either 'muh powerlevels' or the kind of, and I apologize for the use of the term, 'epic'-style writing Primarchs are already prone to.

Forget the admittedly interesting idea of another Emperor-style being, let's focus on the blatant typo that is the "Eye of Terra". Because that shit sounds incredibly interesting for an AU.

>Pride
I like it, and I like the whole idea of a 7 Deadly Sins chaos gods. And why don't I just get Lust out of the way right now:

>The God xirself:
Standard fan-misinterpretation of Slaanesh.
>Xir palace:
Pic related, only in pink and red.
>The Demons:
See Slaaneshi daemonettes.
>The Horses:
Steed of Slaanesh.
>Greater Demons:
Keepers of Secrets.

Wow, that was easy. And boring.

>The Scattering fail
I just had a great idea - that one scene in Horus Rising where Chaos took Horus back in time to his origins beneath the Himalayas, right before they were all snatched away. Supposing the very act of doing this somehow alerts Emps to their presence just in time to stop them cold in their tracks? My God Emperor, I love the pottery of Chaos fucking themselves over right on the cusp of their greatest triumph. It would fit them perfectly.

>I worry that this could quickly spiral into either 'muh powerlevels' or the kind of, and I apologize for the use of the term, 'epic'-style writing Primarchs are already prone to.
Yeah well, Black Library needs better writers, full stop. Love Dan Abnett to death and all, but wouldn't you like to read an HH novel by Peter Watts, Stephen King or Charlie Stross? Not that they could afford any of them mind you, but a man can dream.

>Eye of Terra
Fight with Horus goes differently, E-Money isn't badly wounded but something something and he can't get to the throne room in time to prevent the ravening demon horde from roaring through. So instead, he leads and coordinates the evacuation of Terra. They pull back to Titan where the first Grey Knights are percolating, and it becomes the AU equivalent of Cadia to the Eye of Terra.

do horus heresy but it's the badab war chapters

That Lust is boring though. Lust should exemplify the concept too of "lusting after" things, maybe in some kind of perverse Grail Knight analogue. A strong, overpowering desire for something that erodes all common sense and reason. Daemons of lust seed mortal minds with glimpses of things so powerful and coveted that they chase them while forgetting all else, while champions of Lust grow more and more desperate to chase that impossible dream. We can tie in drug symbolism, a perverse warping of Grail Knights and questing as a whole, and lust as a provider of inertia and energy in the warp.

Also in that case, make the Lust god manifest like Desire from Sandman.

>everyone becomes alpharius clones (with some super special primarch transforming potion).
>Imperium becomes quintillions of demigod primarchs and rapes the fuck out of the rest of the multiverse
>GW gets to sell larger scaled Primarchines and push the meta up

Your Lust-fu is better than mine.

>what is the BEST game in existence?
Why the one we're discussing, silly.

Better not.

It always starts out innocently until someone, somewhere adds something that makes it even more ridiculous/stupid/incomprehensible or downright ruins it.

>Also the Primarchs should act like children with daddy issues. The traitors rebelled out of personal animus, not for political gain. Changing that would be dumb.
The problem is that it destroy the whole "superhuman" thing, because in the the way they're depicted in the books most of them are dumber than a ork and more childish than a 8 year old

This has no scientific basis.
The entire of idea of gender being different from biological sex is very new, and was created to further a political agenda

No, it really isn't new, it's been a thing since before Christ was born, not just in tribal societies but in Chinese civilization. It was only recently that the terms became conflated.

Source?

Gender is still defined as a mix of biology and culture in the science books as we have little peer reviewed papers that support the culture theory.

Biology is actually the way I still define stuff because it's nearly impossible to prove cultural gender because it's impossible to get raw data from a society. You can define yourself whatever you want and I don't care, but you are still technically a man if you have a Y chromosome.

t. a biologist

Xotha, the lustful

The followers of Xotha have two things in common
>they are seducive and cunning
>they have a massive drive to accomplish something, no matter the cost

>lesser daemons
faceless seductionists make up the foot soldiers of the lustful god. They are male and female in their lower body but have a piece of warp bone covering their face. Their outfits are composed of fetish gear, some recognizable like nurse and latex and some seem alien, clearly a object of xenos delight. These outfits seem composed of the flesh of the daemon, pulsing and writhing.

They pride themselves on their ability to seduce without words and are extremely successful. (In terms of appearance think bubble headed nurses, but with male ones too)

>mounts
The mounts are animalistic, primal and extremely sexual. They look like a cross between a horse and a huge wolf. It costs sanity to even consider the roles of these creatures after the battles, but the god of lust must satisfy everyone. They are seemlingly driven beasts, attempting to get their passengers to where they need to go no matter the cost to them. Running through bayonet lines isn't unheard of.

>greater deamons
they are physically the same as the lesser daemons, covered in living fetish gear and clearly sexual. One important desinction is that they can talk, and lack the face plates of the lesser.

Rumor has it that a lesser daemon can become a greater if she/he seduces 1000 great warriors.

These daemons encourage the seducees to follower their dreams, and are extremely effective in both word and deed. A terrifying part of the greater deamons is that instead of fighting tooth and nail, they wield potent psychic powers.

Not bad, but I think we can play up the nonsexual aspects of lust too. Maybe have a whole part of their combat doctrine be mind magic, specifically compulsions and lures? Forcing foes to charge blindly at the daemons, thinking that they are reinforcements or lovers, or dropping a veil on an enemy commissar to make them appear to be a daemon so they get shot to death?

I would definitely make the qualifier for Greater Daemonhood something besides seduction. Maybe instead they ascend once they've driven a thousand mortals into ruining their lives, themselves, and all they own in mad pursuit of their lust. Lust is about more than sex after all.

Maybe even more subtle fetish gear, like those super duper fancy BDSM clothes. Halfway between baroque court fashion and brothel chic.

agreed, lust needs to have more desire stuff, but it can't be completely separate. This is a group writting project.

I do believe that the greater daemon thing is pretty tough for two reasons, one imagine trying to convert a dude to chaos with no words, and two, only great warrior which mean less "imperial guardsman" and more "imperial captain or space marine"

What are we gonna call this project. Right now I'm thinking wormwood would be good.

First post best post

Man sloth is going to be fun to write.

Someone get on that.

>in every race only females are allowed to be leaders
>the women resolve disagreements with words, not violence
>Empress negotiates with Chaos
>discovers they only did bad things because humanity's ancestors were colonisers
>all races are welcome in the Imperium of Woman
>eternal peace
>no need to play game

>women
>not violent

Let's be real here user, women are just as capable of violence of men.

There would be no Imperium of man because politics are just a extension of the capacity of making war.

For example,
en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ching_Shih

Well I must say that that would go completely against the metal aesthetic of 40k.

>women aren't violent
What

So.
>chaos gods are based on the seven deadly sins, we have lust and pride written
>emperor is the traitor and malcador is the actual sitter on the golden throne. Only the primarchs and the custodians know that fact.
>primarchs shaped bits of the imperium culturally making subsectors have unique cultures
>rogue trader levels of wackiness (jokero, rokkas, etc)
>chaos is based on emotions, and only this universe's emotions. However it is also shaped by Xenos. It also isn't completely evil
>reworking most of the Xenos so that they aren't idiots
>new primarchs

Cool.

Not according to feminism

Not so, feminists are political activists and the only war they engage in is a culture war against patriarchy

Oh please go. Stop trying to drag politics into this stupid metal cover setting rewrite on a lamia taming board.

>no fun allowed

I definitely say that Chaos has gotta be, while not always evil, definitely not Good. Chaos is self-interested and indulgent, exemplifying their Sins to horrific levels. When they do something good, its because it benefits them, not others.

Also who's up for Lust daemons looking like slightly BDSM'd up versions of these? I figure Lust would be great for pulling a Yellow King and revealing that the mask they were wearing at the fine Hive Noble masquerade was in fact not a mask at all.

You know the three rules of pleasent conversation user.
>no money
>no politics
>no religion

And bringing up feminist breaks two of those.

Feminists only exist because men allow them to exist.

>Politics
>Fun

>mask covered daemons

Perhaps they have masquerade masks on.

The greater daemons don't. Gotta say that sounds great.

We can't have them naked or slutty though, as that is the lowest form of seduction. Maybe the greater daemons have on ball-gowns and corsets, or tuxedos. More of a Victorian aesthetic.

>jokes about politics
>not fun

Not to mention that it breaks the board rule of keeping pol in pol.

But we all off topic, so back on topic. Is everyone ok with malcador being the true emperor and the emperor being the traitor?

>We can't have them naked or slutty though, as that is the lowest form of seduction
But that works very well, but better than clothes actualy. That's why women irl tend to prefer short clothes when not oppressed.
Yes, the Emperar Malcador would be nice.

Yeah. I'm thinking victorian meets some of the classier kind of BDSM outfits. The kind that are like Sunstone-level at best, mixed with fine victorian frills and embroidery.

The lesser daemons can be the low cut stuff

The greater daemons are above that.

>It always starts out innocently until someone, somewhere adds something that makes it even more ridiculous/stupid/incomprehensible or downright ruins it.
But user, ADB won't be involved in this.

What's the name of that alternate universe where the imperium is split in two by a civil war?

Problem is, this version of lust sounds more like Greed.

Lust is wanting something

Greed is holding onto somethings

See the difference is that Lust is something that wants one specific thing. They want it so much it overtakes their life, it's a singular, powerful, terrifying focus. Lust is the sin that inspires everything from artists to mountain climbers to drug addicts, always seeking more of their specific need.

Greed on the other hand wants *everything*. It doesn't care if it's valuable, greed is defined by want. It hoards, it steals, it kills for, and it dies for the eternal concept of "more". What that "more" is doesn't matter, as long as there's more of it. Greed almost steals part of Khorne's portfolio, while Lust takes the "hope" aspect from Tzeentch and slams it into Slannesh.

Lord of Greed.

So pride has a gold, silver, and angelic aesthetic but it's a bit off.

Lust has a party aesthetic. The lesser daemons wear low-cut and club-looking outfits, wereas the greater daemons look like they have come from a ball. The lower Daemons can't talk and have faces covered by a mask. The greater can talk and aren't covered by a mask.

Unlike slaanesh lust isn't a mad artist, his creations are beautiful in conventional senses but beauty is in the eye of the beholder and some of them are shaped by xenos

Someone wanna get working on Greed?

Another version of Chaos occurs to me: how about one where the "chaos" gods aren't "evil" or even "chaotic" in the conventional sense at all, but instead just want to push humanity/eldar-kind to their absolute maximum limits in order to see their true power levels? Which of course would mean that behind the scenes they were secretly working with The Emperor all along?

Here's an idea for greed;

The Lord of Wants, or know Oglamash the Taker, the Keeper, and he Who Wants.

His power is the most undiluted of all Chaos Gods, as he is unwilling to easily depart anything in his posistion. Rarely though, some mortal may impress him through their own selfish endeavor; seeing them as his own, he gives upon them the power of his great horde. Few further survive such transactions, but those who do become his most devote servants, for they know that a they have in this life will flow into the next. Thus, they are encouraged to amass as much as possible, to ensure that they're next existence is assured.

There are those that seek Oglamash's attention; and they often do, for Oglamash is of the wary sort, paranoid of all things not part of his kin. Those he deems to be after his treasure are smited, warped into lesser beasts.

Oglamash is described as being a moutain of robes, cloaks, coats and more, sat upon a horde of unimaginable treasure and relics, amidst a hidden realm of caves and caverns. For he jealously guards all that he owns, from the coins wretched from the hand of a hiver, to whole starsystems. For he is the lord of all that is his. But above all of his treasure, his crown is by far his greatest prize, as he had stolen it from the god before him.

Placing Sacrifice to the lord of Want is a easy, yet tricky feat; he sees those that give as weak. Thus, the way to appease him is to build your own horde, your own treasure. This could be from a physical treasure pile, to claiming the ideas of an entire world as your own, to taking the battles of others. So long as you can take it, and keep it, you show worth in his eyes.

His Icon is that of a 3 pronged crown, amd his sacred number is 3 as well.

Those Daemons that serve him are few, but are more wiley and powerful than that of their cousins; they never give any of their power to another, less they are beaten totally and are at threat of losing more. However, you are more likely to find them in rituals and as Daemon weapons: They are always far more willing to help as long as they are payed in kind, so long as they gain.

The smallest if the Daemons of Olgamash are Morsels; tiny, humanoid creatures that might be mistaken for children, weren't they so small. Bedecked in hoods, these wily little daemons are always stealing and taking things; their ingenuity is formed for a want of more. In form, they always wear coats, and they always hide their face. Pale and weak, they rely on tricking and tampering; but be warned, in large numbers, their sharp teeth and unsatiable hunger can overpower even the mighty Astartes.

Honestly I think the best alternate 40K universe would be one that takes place after the events of TTS and incorporates all of that as canon

youtube.com/playlist?list=PLyiDf91_bTEgnBN0jAvzNbqzrlMGID5WA

Just goes to show that making pretend gods out of celebrities is, and will forever be, pleb-tier shit. The brainlet lower end of the bell curve plebes have been doing it since rome, and they'll never stop doing it.

Holy fuck did you even watch literally any of the 'New' Bill Nye or even read anything about it?
Assuming you didn't, kill yourself for being this uneducated.
Assuming you did, kill yourself for being the cancer from reddit/tumblr/whatever-it-is-these-days that needs to leave

From the Morsels, comes the next sorts of Daemons under Olgamash's commands; the evolution of such creatures comes from what they take, steal or amasd. Although they keep the trait of always hiding themselves, they change appearance as a way of bragging and showing personal wealth, as well as showing what they have taken. These Daemons, known as Debtors, are always wise to share their horde in part with their master, giving a tithe to the grander horde. These creatures, born from particular wants and greeds, hunt for that of which they were born from.

The Scholars, in their puffed robes and pointed hats adore nothing more than stealing and amassing hordes of Magical insight. While not powerful enough to utilize such spells, they lug around heavy tomes to collect what magic they see.

Those that dabble in war, known as The Armeries, collect all weapons and tools of war they can. Although they adore guns as a prize, they rarely utilize such weapons, less they give freely their previous bullets. They are bedecked in piles of armor, stolen from those they killed.

Their beasts are known as Mimics, or Taberknackles; Large trunks, or even creaking wagons with creeping limbs serve as the pets, and even mounts of his chosen. Such creatures love nothing more than having their bellies full of material goods, courtesy of their masters. Only to them do they allow access to their innards, giving them direct access to their own private collection, stored safely within.
The Most massive of all creatures are those known as Accustioners of Accumilation are the greater daemons of their lord; they have grown their own pile of treausres so high, that they now come to fully represent what they have stolen, and what they truly are; simply parts of their masters greater prize. Spilling forth their treasures, these towering monsters vanish anything they envelope into their robes.