Why does this board hate elves?

Overused shit in fiction, and only ever played by min-maxers or snowflakes in games.

Also it makes me laugh when that fat girl is playing a waifish elf or tiefling. Every time. Usually emo as fuck too. Couldn't ever be a hearty human barbarian or something. Always has to be some bitchhy wish-fufillment garbage.

Amalya is a stinky. Eva is love.

...

Memes, that's the only answer you'll ever need. And some very vocal faggots that unload their personal problems on a fictional race.

I want to kiss Marcille!

Please don't post lewd images on work-safe boards

Nah. Gamers ruined dwarves shoehorning them into clones of a Gimli's stereotype.

But to be fair JRRT wasn't exactly doing his best implied worldbuilding with them. Jesus, he could've at least sent a scholar to Elrond's council or something.

ACTUALLY I liked the pirate girl even better. But Amalya does have a more interesting personality than Eva.

"So you enter the orc banlieu of the elven capital..."

Noximilien>Eva>Amalya>pirate girl

I only hate fags that make shitty low-quality elf bait shitposting threads, but they are probably done by people that hate elves anyway.

I want to take her to a fancy dinner date, watch her stuff her fat face, gently walk her home and kiss her goodnight while I rub her fat elf ears.

I'd dread her manners in a fancy restaurant actually.

But at least she wouldn't be like Senshi, I can readily see him complaining to the chef for unhealthy balance of foods from the entree

It stopped being funny years ago, especially when some anons take this jokes way too seriously and try to ruin other peoples fun.

>I'd dread her manners in a fancy restaurant actually.
Why? We've only seen her complain about eating monsters. I doubt she'd be picky/annoying about "normal" food.

And even then, she got used to monsters eventually.

>they're both the good savage (the mundane made into this paragon of natural way of living) AND the High Man - generally without the problems associated with that.
No they're not, good savages are wood and high are, well, high. What problems associated with being high? Isn't it the whole declining population thing?

>Overused
Funny, dwarves are just as overused and they're always the same thing since Tolkien, but people have no problems with them(I certainly don't)

>Min-maxers
Those are humans tho

>Snowflakes
Aren't those Dragonborns and Tieflings? I'm going with Veeky Forums logic here, so bare with me

>Also it makes me laugh when that fat girl is playing a waifish elf or tiefling.
Well m8, if they played landwhales ingame they're would be shit adventurers wouldn't they? Isn't it fantasy enough to have women warriors? Now fat women warriors? That's too much

Why do people often start threads complaining about elves and posting a human as the OP image

I'm going to assume your male human fighters are as obese as you then?

Dwarves have the added annoyance of being both overused and generally having exactly one personality, which is Movie Gimli

I don't hate elves, I love them!

On my dick!

Haha! Yeah! High five!

Because it's le funy meimey

People who take it seriously are retarded. Just like anyone who takes a meme seriously.

Is this the new general elf shitposting threads masked as a meta thread? Because I don't see anything else happening with this thread.

I'm personally a fan of high elves falling into wood elfdom after getting displaced from their empires by humans wielding iron.

Wish I could strangle elf shitposters with my bare hands.

Marcille always seemed to me... not exactly half autistic, but kinda of too focused on studying to have interests beyond her life. She seems like the type in which you see her as graceful and think she would fit into whatever "high" society thing, but actually she doesn't know shit and would probably be the (adorable) klutz she can be.
I'll reprhase myself

I think elves are both the mundane thing (with a wilderness flavour), and they are "mary-sueish" in the hippie "we live perfectly naturally, not like you filthy greedy humans" way; and they're clearly the high men as well, but without the endearing narrative qualities of being defective (proud, vain, you name it) mostly associated to that idea.

>and I don't think the wood/high elf thing makes any difference. I mean, maybe a bit, but it's too much of a continuum.

People don't like perfect characters, for obvious reasons.

Then there's also the magic race thing but oddly enough in DND it's not that stressed out.

>my solution is a total rework of base fantasy races

I mean I hate everything in general but I hate elves because they have those pointy ears, ya know why? So they always have something yo stab you in the back with! Kinda similar to why I hat robots but replace ears with those twirling metal claws of theirs that go whiiirrrrrr and as they move at ya!

Elves are hard to write correctly, there is nothing wrong with them as a race, more so they are just over used and generally put in roles that would see them as great figures. Same shit happens with humans in fantasy settings, but its humans so it doesnt count.

Its mostly just a case of over saturation.

I'd typically take an Elf over a Dwarf though. I like them both, but as been said in this thread, Dwarves tend to have two personalities, period: movie Gimli, and funny drunk.

While on the subject though, anyone know of any good books featuring Elves predominately?

>Elves are hard to write correctly
Apparently they are also hard to draw correctly.

Well, hauntingly beautiful is right.

Big titted elves are a mistak almost as great as big-titted lolis

That's just some trashy bimbo. Without the elf tag nobody would believe that's actually supposed to be one of these radiating beauties. Why people like you are pretending to like elves is beyond me.

>but without the endearing narrative qualities of being defective (proud, vain, you name it)
>proud
>"we live perfectly naturally, not like you filthy greedy humans"
>not like you filthy greedy humans
There it is. And it's not like the other races just lower their heads and take it, they actually confront the elves over those matters.

A bit to thick to be an elf for me, but still hot nonetheless.

Actually, maybe as an Orc her proportions would be perfect. Afterall, you need to have your balance between lithe willowy girls, and amazons with child-bearing bodies

The problem is that in the rare instances elves are seen to say they are better, they're right.

Because they eat everything because they're debauched harpsichord-slamming rich fucks.

It’s full of fat neck beards who identify with dwarves.

Elves should be thick.

It's been hard to post today, I can't take my eyes off the skeletons in the corner, they might attack at any time

Dwarves are often more hardy and practical craftsmans than elves, who are more elegant and finesse craftsman than dwarves. Humans are more dwarvish than elves and more elvish than dwarves. I don't know what you're talking about

And dwarves should be tall.

No, they should be lithe so that they contrast well with the thick orcish girl while you're in a threeway

Unless you're sayng that the Elf should be thicc, while the Orc should be lithe, in which case that would be an interesting experience

Also, in this thread I've been getting nothing but dubs. Please be reasonable and agree with everything I say

You. Go sit in the corner and think about what you did. You should be ashamed.

It's just a shit posting joke.

But I myself am not too fond of them. They just don't fit any niche I like.

>Dying out immortal Fair Folk who are sad
Only Tolkien ever pulled this off properly and he wasn't even running a game.
>Prissy High Elves who master magic and live in weird curvy buildings
Hate this and don't understand people who like it.
>Deviant, hedonistic dark elves
Sliver of something interesting but I prefer giving this personality to vampires
>Noble Savage Not! Native American or Not!Celtic Wood Elves
Huge fan of Native American stuff so I would rather just include actual Native Americans. Plus implying Natives and Celts are elves is kinda patronizing imo.

Found the fatass.

>literally has no imagination, nor has ever played with anyone that does
You're not fit to post here.

That's exactly why you don't get it, as all dubposters

DEY IZ SNEEKY LIKE GOBBOS AN DEY ENT EVEN GREEN!

>Found the fatass.
lol no

GREEN ELVES WITH TUSKS!!!!

Elves should be short and skinny with childish features, even the high ones. I hate that almost everybody has decided that basketball player elves are the only way to go. You can't be haughty about living as one with nature and being more efficient than the filthy stinky humans if you take up more space than we fatasses do.

>loli/shota elves
user, why pretend you have another reason?

Get dunked on faggot

Don't halflings tend to fill the "short skinny child-like" niche?

>shota elves
I could enslave that

No, they don't even have to look decent. Make them butt-ugly with gray horse faces and permanently crossed lazy eyes for all I care, but please give them a real character other than "better humans with knife ears." A lot of folks like to contrast them with dwarves so it would be nice if they took them in the opposite direction of "even our women have beards" and made the whole race childlike and seemingly nonthreatening. A race of Akiras sound a hell of a lot more interesting than what we have now.

Halflings are just short, fat, ugly humans with too little muscle mass to fit into a pre-modern human society.

>Make them not elves
What's the point?

but

Mythological elves were short evil little shitheads who kidnapped and raped women and generally acted more like demons than anything resembling Tolkien's smug hippie Tall Elves.

I only browse here occasionally, but nobody actually hates elves.

They're just one of the more "standard" races to focus on and just kinda bland. Which as much as I like them, I can't blame anyone for feeling that way.

Also they're too easy to make fap material for.

>dwarves are just as overused and they're always the same thing since Tolkien
They've been the same since WoW. Tolkien's orcs were the industrialists.

They stole babies, kidnapped and killed men too. "I dare not go a hunting, for fear of little men."

Are Elves a race or a species?

Halflings are just a society of actual biological human dwarves. There's no reason for them to even exist except to be weaker humans. At least gnomes wear pointy hats and actually live underground sometimes.

Exactly. It was pretty common in Germanic Europe to be scared of getting cursed and abducted by elves. They were evil ungodly creatures. There is no one true "elf," and making them more interesting doesn't make them less elves, even if they can no longer slam dunk on their tiptoes.

No, those were the Dwarves, also know as Dark Elves. The Light Elves on the other hand were just as tall as a human and basically lesser gods

Those are folklore elves, which are different to mythological elves and are basically another name for fairys

depends on the setting

they made me gay

I know but I can't stop now.

It's easy, elves as a race were designed to be superior to humans. That ends up rustling the jimmies of HFY faggots

Species. To what degree depends on the writer.

Everything from the Fair folk were evil assholes, even the more "benign" ones like gnomes or brownies would fuck you over if you insulted them in anyway

fair enough you do you man, I just like cute shota halflings

Can't make you something you already were

I got nothing against them but I am getting sick of this one Elf that's hanging out on my tree.

The Tree is old and need no elf girl hanging on it's branches

its their fault, elf bois are too cute

Hey bud, don't go shitting on brownies. Those dudes are hip as hell and don't need to be lumped in with the likes of elves and gnomes.

agreed, I want an qt elf boy to suck me off in front of a mirror so i can watch his throat muscles contract as he swallows every last drop

>Haha! Yeah! High five!
no

Both of you are faggots. Everyone knows that Cleo is best.

that's the one that got the porno flash right?

>Elves are actually problematic as an idea imho.
get the fuck out and go back to tumblr or neogaf or whatever shithole you come from.

I'm upset that elven women won't let me touch their ears, so I developed a genocidal hatred born of wanting what I can never have.

I like to use a purer Tolkien interpretation of elves, without the setting specific metaphysics so none of that stuff associated with like "What do your elf eyes see?" stuff. I treat them as just the high people. The "traditional" wood elf is a bastardization of the Tolkien wood elves. The elves of Lothlorien are the ones we prolly get to know best and they aren't even remotely close to the inna-woods hicks we see nowadays. They were mistrustful and cut off isolationist-by-necessity, not murdering assholes. Also, I hate drow and Druchi. They are stupid. I have less of a problem with Deldar. They re at least plausible.

we really could use more redneck elves.
>tfw will never have qt3.14 redneck elf girlfriend with country accent and daisy dukes.
life was a mistake.

Fuck off back to /pol/ if you want to be the language police. "Problematic" has been a fine word for centuries and some fags from other shitty sites misusing it doesn't suddenly make it kryptonite.

...

The only good elf is a sex-slave-elf.

>sex-slave-elf.
do girlish boy elves count?

He's just being triggered. Maybe he should just gp to the room with the playdough and soothing colors.

Is the elf a slave?
Is the slave-elf for sex?
If both are yes, then yes.

I mean I'm not gay but If I could get an effeminate dark elf boy, get him face down, naked (except for his socks, i need him to keep them one since I'll need em later) and get him nice and sweaty as I pound his elf boi pucci with my arms wrapped around him in a tight embrace and nibble his ears that'd be swell. no homo.

>boy
>elf
Now you're just making shit up.

Deviants

>implying I'm the one inflicting a million Gimli McPotbellies in every game
nah

Remember, it's not gay if it's an elf!