I live in a big city, and three different ones all my life. One thing I've noticed is that, with the tabletop community...

You're full of shit but I like you

The way you type makes me cringe. You're a faggot. This story is gay.

>grabbing a girl's minge w/o consent is fucking abhorrent.
Maybe he's running for office.

That kinda reminds me of a similar situation I was in. Back when I was in college, my best friend (let's call him Homer) somehow befriended a goblin-faced 'tard I'm going to call Chtulhu (his actual nickname is something of a gargling sound from the back of your throat, not kidding).

Anyway. Chtulhu never had any friends and developed his social skills mainly from TV shows. I'd guess mostly Seinfeld, because he had a habit of showing up at your house unannounced, like Kramer, and often cleaning out your fridge... like Kramer. I kicked him out, but Homer let him stay, so Chtulhu had developed a habit of basically living at Homer's apartment. He even stopped going to college, he'd just show up at 7 am, dick around on Homer's computer while Homer was attending classes, eat with Homer and his family, and go home around 10pm. Every day. He was also very gullible, easily-impressionable and not very bright.

Homer had a younger sister. Back when this happened, we were around 26 and out of college, and she was 16. I've known her for a quite a few years and never thought much of her, and I was pretty sure she never thought anything of me. But recently she started coming onto me, flashing me - discreetly at first, but then quite openly; and even coming up to me completely naked. Not going to lie, I would've banged her, but I was and still am sure she was just getting off teasing me, not really looking for something.

The everpresent Chtulhu obviously noticed this, and somehow started expecting her to start flashing him as well. I don't know how he expected that to happen, since I wasn't doing anything on my part to draw her attention that he could copy; and she hated his guts, especially after she discovered he'd been going through her underwear. Hell, one time he and I met at a caffee, he showed me a pair of her panties he stole.

cont.

He started very unsubtly peeking at her cleavage, commenting loudly in what he probably thought was double-entendres, but was much closer to "show me your pussy", and trying to grab her butt. He didn't let trivial things like being screamed at, threatened and spat on face stop him.

So anyway, it was a game night, and Homer, Chtulhu and I were joined by a few of our friends, including a couple of friends of Homer's sister. Wer picked up something all of us knew how to play, some clone of Risk, I think. She sat down opposite of me, and Chtuhlu tried immediately to sit next to me, but was too late so he had to sit a bit to the side. As we played, she kept leaning towards me, leting me have a view of her puppies. One of the people sitting next to me was my friend whom I've told about her teasing me, so he didn't comment; and I suspect the other was a friend of hers and maybe also knew or something, because she also never reacted. Chtulhu did, and every time she leaned, he'd painfully obviously tried to get a view. Even Homer noticed, but didn't say anything because they were good friends.

Until Chtulhu turned to the kid sister and asked her to come attack him too... so she can lean towards him a little and winked at her and nodded toward cleavage. It was glorious. One moment she was sitting, staring at him shocked, mouth open - in another moment she was on her feet, leaned over the table, her fist pushing his nose into his skull. Before he even had a chance to scream, she had fucking leapt over the whole table and was on him, punching and clawing his face off. She was screaming about him being a creep and how she knew he went through her panties and how she hated him and was sick of him squatting in their home... and he just lay there, with this stupid "where did that come from" face on him.

In the end, Homer kicked Chtulhu out that night, but they remained friends, cause Homer felt sorry for him. He did call me to help hold an intervention for Chtulhu to stop him from inviting himself over every day, which wasn't hard since Chtulhu was now deathly affraid of Homer's sister.

> Clone of Risk

Axis & Allies?

...

>getting up in the middle of the session to use the bathroom and being found by the DM in his daughter's room, stroking her hair
Now, I know this is fake. Because if something like that happened to me and MY daughter, the local news would be airing Jerry's obituary within the hour. No regrets, just death.

Teehee Maccaroni is the bane of my fucking existence.

Every fucking campaign that my GM runs inevitably at some point involves running into an NPC named "Teehee Maccaroni," who the GM affectionately describes as "an epic level sorcerer who's also a retarded nudist gnome."

Teehee Maccaroni wander the countryside with a unique Rod of Wonders powered by "retard magic" shoved up his anus, and he casts the Rod of Wonders by diddling his penis. He says nothing but his own name in different inflections and the phrase "I like-a the goodberry, gimme gimme the goodberry." The GM thinks it's hilarious to have this character show up during the middle of encounters we're struggling at and start jerking off magic everywhere.

But the worst part is his chant. He wanders around chanting his name, so when he's about to show up the GM will start low;
Tee-hee-hee, Maccaroni Maccaroni
Tee-hee-hee, Maccaroni Maccaroni
And then get louder and louder until he's fucking shouting
TEE HEE HEE, MACCARONI MACCARONI!
TEE HEE HEE, MACCARONI MACCARONI!

And the table loves it! The other guys I play with think this is the best shit! Teehee Maccaroni has been our table's de-facto inside joke, our signature "running gag" for six years now. When that chant starts up, everyone else joins in like a ritual; the whole table is expected to start chanting "TEE HEE HEE, MACCARONI MACCARONI" by the end, and every fucking time I refuse because this is some embarrassing circa-2002 Penguin of Doom shit, it's always the same thing; "There goes user again! No fun allowed around user! user's just a big grouch who's getting angry because we're making him touch Teehee Maccaroni's penis again! Why won't you just let us have fun with this character, he's just here for dumb fun, you stick-in-the mud!"

These motherfuckers are all over 25 years old.

Teehee Maccaroni is going to be the death of me.

I kind of am that guy. I've been through about 7 groups so far and been kicked out of each one. I don't think I'm bad, but I have a tendency to argue and hornyturk on girls.

I try to fix it, but my upbringing was a bit messed up so I'm not always good at reading social cues or knowing what to do.

I went to a strict catholic all boys boarding school.

We had a guy named Steve who was like 7ft tall and always wore sweatpants. His armies were usually a grey tide, or horribly painted, but he was decent to play against a nice guy.

He just fucking stank.

>Jerry was a slightly autistic person who knew better. He liked to grab ladies and usually in a pretty bad way. He's the only person I heard of being permabanned from ever going to a videogame midnight launch before. It was assassin's creed III and he dressed up as an assassin. Thing is, he somehow got ahold of functional stabby blades for his arm gauntlet things(I've never played asscreed) and proceeded to "jokingly" hold up three different women, he forced the first two to flash him and he was caught during the third after telling her to take off her pants.
alright.

>- getting up in the middle of the session to use the bathroom and being found by the DM in his daughter's room, stroking her hair
Alright was he some kinda ugly glasses wearing fatso or was the daughter hair stroking atleast with some consent?

>Especially since my DM, being the weird, semi-christian but also ass-backwards weirdo he was told me that "if she was going to have a boyfriend, I'd like it to be someone like you user."
Dude what the fuck

This copypasta is old and boring.

Fraudulent and homosexual. 0/10

>I tell them not to overthink it, chuckle and stop asking.
You're the kind of stupid piece of shit that looks at an old lady getting beaten to death,keeps on walking, feels bad for a day or two and then goes
>oh well, it had nothing to do with mme and could have been dangerous!
Never have children.

>He was just kind of a harmless nerd when I met him and now he's a broken man.
You could have easily prevented that by telling the mother, or the police,or just giving your buddy simple advice instead of getting drunk like a loser.

You ruined the lives of 3 people and you're too dumb and lazy to ever make up for it.
Kill yourself.

>without consent
According to the very source you take that from they liked it, if we assume it was meant literally.
Of course, partial amnesia is one Of the many diseases of the left.

>I left the game that week.
good decision

>According to the very source you take that from they liked it
What? Re-read the relevant part:
>So she flipped out, calling the cops, etc.

>Of course, partial amnesia is one Of the many diseases of the left.
Fuck off.

Sorry bro but fuck you. How the fuck was this his responsibility?

Was he Jerry's tard handler/parent?

Was he the stupid slut's dad?

No he wasn't. He did nothing and whilst that is mildly reprehensible it wasn't in any case his actual duty to do something.

Jerry was smart enough to be held accountable but was also smart enough to lay the system. Slut girl was 15 and therefore old enough to know better. Cuck Dad was a dumb bastard who was legally responsible for Slut Daughter and absolutely should have told the police and the mother what was happening.

OP did the minimum that was required of him and no more.

I think that guy may be referring to some kind of scandal or other where a republican grabbed someone's cooch without consent but it was ok because she liked it and is believing the other person is quoting from a source or article of some kind, but I'm only guessing because the above poster is using /pol/isms.

I think that missing person posters would be more.. Interesting.

>How the fuck was this his responsibility?
Simple, if preventing a disaster only takes a single phone call and you don't, then you're responsible.
If you can't understand something so simple you're probably a turboautist. Nobody expects you to carry the weight of the world, but if prevention is thateasy it becomes your fault.

Depending on the local laws the father would have been likely to get legally raped for knowing that a child was being fucked by an adult and doing nothing, even possibly encouraging it.

If OP, faggot that he is, had have gone to the police then Cuck DM would potentially have been screwed over also.

Once more it falls to the father who isn't as head of his household to actually be a father rather than a castrated bitch.

>hurr durr, morality and every individuum exist in a vacuum
You're retarded my dude.
If somebody next to you says “do you think I should drink bleach to heal my congestion“ and you just shrug and walk away you killed him you retard

And the idea to just tell the father about it or go to the police together with him didn't enter your mind?
Why is this board filled with so many people who are literally socially retarded?
The father literally asked for help, it doesn't get more direct than that

Help how? You can't lend someone a pair of bollocks. This was the father's job to deal with because he was the father.

No, they killed themselves.

I will admit that it get's grey if the person asking is a child or a retard but the "man" in question was 30 and there is nothing to indicate he was clinically retarded.

Storytime faggots mild but relevant

Been player for a year over skype and decided to try my hand at DMing in person. So I get a group of friends together, but the relevant one lets call Aspie so some backstory.

Aspie is an old friend of my wife back from middleschool, in fact aspie had a crush on her for a long time and we're pretty sure he still had a thing for her when I invited him to D&D. Both are on the spectrum in some fashion, the difference being my wife actively fights her Tism to be a normal member of society. Aspie does not.

Now, I got the idea in my head to DM and having relatively few friends I got the three friends together and they made characters under my watchful eye. Having discussed characters before, two chillbros make their characters quickly and are raring to go as a paladin and a rogue. Aspie wants to be a bard and agonizes over everything, must have the exact spells he will ever need, the correct skills, and equipment for a solid 2 hours. I start helping at the 1 hour mark and manage to speed him up. Eventually we finish and begin.

Start game with escorting a noble(I know, so original) and things are going well it seems. chillbros are shooting the shit in character and having a good time, Aspie is participating somewhat but mostly a spectator, even when i addressed him I couldnt get more than a few words from him.

Combat starts and Rogue and paladin start duking it out with enemies and Aspie is refusing to help. Claiming he's not a fighter despite carrying a rapier and having combat spells. Chillbros are confused as to why he's not helping.

Combat ends with Chillbros nearly unconscious and Aspie untouched, the former are kinda irritated as am I. We continue with our quest and Aspie starts rolling d20 and recording the results. We ask what hes doing.
>"I'm rolling to see whether I care about any of this"

1/2

Nearing the end of the session Aspie straight up leaves the table and we assumed he had to go use the bathroom. I get a text from my wife asking me to come get him because he barged into my bedroom trying to find her. I go grab him and bring him back to the table telling him to not bother her because she's working on grad school.

We finish the session and Aspie goes home. Aside from the weirdness I believed it went well.

Wife starts getting texts from Aspie asking her to lunch and to hang out. Wife told him that it wouldnt be appropriate and asked if I could come along. Aspie doesnt respond.

This happens multiple times during downtime. Wife is uncomfortable with Aspie and doesnt want him around. Being the patient and tolerant fuckhead I am I tell her that I will talk to him in person next session.

Next session rolls around and everyone arrives, Wife was nice enough to make kickass enchiladas beforehand and we're all having fun shooting the shit. Aspie naturally ruins it of course.

>"Hey Wifey, you should come home with me if this is how you cook normally." Said with a flat stare and a suggestive grin.

All smiles vanish in dead silence. Wife leaves and I tell him this shit wont fly, that if he keeps trying to get with my wife I will beat the shit out of him and Wife will beat the shit out of him.

He starts to protest until he hears Wife beating the shit out of a punching bag(She has an anger problem). He quietly gets up and leaves.

Chillbros and I continue playing and have a blast that we still talk about today.

Advice. You genius.
If he would have given him advice and the father ignored it it would have been fine, his refusal to do even that condemns him.

If he doesn't know better it's not his fault, you still killed him.
You're either a child, arguing for something you don't believe in, retarded and unable to think it through or a fucking sociopath

it's a made up story

There was no good outcome here if OP got involved. Maybe a call to the police or wife could have prevented it, or would have sped things up, or who knows. It really isn't his responsibility to do anything and sometimes doing "the right thing" can have disastrous consequences.

That changes little about the point they are trying to make, user. It was a good reminder that Veeky Forums has the highest density of sociopathic and emotionally hollow individuals though, say what you want about the vanity of Veeky Forums or the hatred on /pol/ but they are at least fueled by human emotions

There were many good outcomes with him getting involved, that you people keep on talking about responsibility as if empathy and action completely depend on your legal status towards the other is kind of disgusting.
You do what's right because it's right,if you need any other reason when it's about the entire life of 3 people you directly know then you're simply morally deficient.
I'm starting to understand why religious people use God as a necessity for morals so often, some of you cunts really do lack a moral compass and probably need a higher power telling you what to do to make up for that.

>the dude just isn't playing with a full deck of cards
you know, if society wasn't so pussified and actually allowed beating sense into retards still, they would learn what is and isn't socially acceptable.

>Hey user, here's this super awkward legal grey area and moral weirdness, please get involved?
>No thanks.
>Oh em gee you're terrible.
Things aren't that black and white and you would know that if you've ever actually experienced life.

Take the guy, go to the police with him, solved.

That aside
>I'm not evil
>what do you mean I should stop a guyfrom killing himself with bleach by saying a short sentence? I'm not responsible for him!
Seek professional help.

>cause Homer felt sorry for him
I never understood this. How can people feel sorry for this literal waste of biomass?

>>Take the guy, go to the police with him, solved.
>Whoops, got GM arrested and divorced
>Whoops, he was the main breadwinner for family
>Whoops, family had to move in section 8 housing
>Whoops, daughter just got busted for prostitution
I've seen this EXACT situation happen. I don't blame people for not wanting to get involved in a situation like this.

>t. police

This happened a few years ago, and I made some Veeky Forums posts about it at the time, so it might be familiar.

Anyway, playing DnD with some friends, among which is Greg. Greg has some kind of neural condition I've never been gauche enough to ask the exact name of. But he has no sensation in his hands and parts of his forearms. About the most noticeable result of it is he constantly checks his hands and fingers after he touches just about anything, since he can apparently cut or burn himself without noticing it. He also likes to have his space, he doesn't really like being jostled, and as we play in a crowded basement, that means he gets quite a bit more legroom than the rest of us. Still, he's a good friend and a good roleplayer, so it's fine.

Enter the new guy joining our group, Zachary. When he's briefed on Greg's medical issues, he immediately starts talking about how cool it would be to have a superpower like that, and about all the things he would do if he couldn't feel pain. Greg is visibly annoyed. Then, throughout the session, he keeps "accidentally" bumping into Greg, pinching the backs of his hands, asking him if he really can't feel it, and just making an ass out of himself.

Session eventually comes to an end, with bad feelings all around. Per a rest of the group vote, we disinvite Zach to future games, which our GM delivered by e-mail. So cue in our surprise when he shows up next Saturday, treating the whole thing like a joke. Stony silence, and our GM, in a tight, low voice telling him to get out of his house, which is again treated like a joke. Adam eventually calls the cops, and I'd like to say that Zach heard the sirens or something, but there was maybe 5 minutes of tight staring at each other around the table before he eventually decided Adam was serious and he took off.

>gm gets arrested for trying to protect his daughter
>judge sentences him for acting in the best interest of his daughter
>implying that he would even get prosecuted

Yeah, you're talking out of your ass you lying nigger, the greatest mistake laymen make when they talk about law enforcement is that they ignore the human component

Those silly cases you hear about in the news about unjust sentences? They are precisely in the news BECAUSE they are rare and usually have circumstances attached that are ignored by the media.

Next time you wanna pretend to be an expert (not that a police officer would even fucking be one in this case),at least put some effort in to hide your social retardation.

>N-no user, things always work out as long as you have good intentions!
Let me know when you move out of your parents house.

>>gm gets arrested for trying to protect his daughter
>what are asshole cops
>>judge sentences him for acting in the best interest of his daughter
>what are strict sentencing guidelines
>>implying that he would even get prosecuted
>what are asshole DAs

I never said that you retard, I said you should do what's right because it's right and that policemen aren't retarded.
I have enough experience with both the police and human beings not to be sich a huge pussy like you.

>the possibility of failure means doing nothing is the best course of action
Guess how I know you're a virgin

Your deluded expectations let me know you still live at home.

>I did the Right Thing!
>Who cares if, by introducing 4 people into the criminal justice system, I ruined all of their lives. Except the autist with rich parents who doesn't give a fuck about a felony on his record.

I don't, your weird fixation on that is worrying though.
You could call me immature, a manchild, etc, but neither has much to do with living at home or not. You don't grow up by moving out, user.

Are you fucking retarded?
How is ruining your marriage and having a teenage pregnancy on your hands not worse?
You throw away the possibility of things going well and the morally correct action because you'd rather sit and watch the train wreck
Chances of things going to shit are way higher if you do nothing there, so even if we ignore morals intervening would still be right.
But you don't even care, you're just embarrassed because you revealed yourself to not only be an egoist but also a huge fucking pussy, so you'd rather defend a point that you know is bullshit than admit that maybe your first choice of doing nothing was wrong.
Fucking hell you people are pathetic.

>just let the retarded pedophile with anger issues diddle your daughter dude
>be cool and tolerant like us xD
Holy fuck man

There's retards in any community, the problem being that in one as small at tabletop they're always gonna show up.
Worse yet is when the group is combination of two small communities.

This one isn't half as bad as some of these, but still, cutting down a very long story
>join lesbian nerd group for my city
>one person suggests tabletop, D&D to be precise (she was a critical role fan, no surprise there)
>I agree to dm and other people have played before, end up with 6 players and me
>we meet up to play our first session
Now at this point, I had met every player independently, and a couple of them had met each other, but this was the first time the whole group had met everyone
>lo and behold
>the curse of the dyke community
>one girl there is the ex of *three* of the others
Fantastic stuff
>turns out she's ALSO on the local tabletop groups' collective 'fuck off' lists for being a creepy autistic piece of shit
I am generally too forgiving for my own sake, so after talking to the three exes and checking if they're okay, I decide to continue the game and at least try
>over the space of the first sessions it's fine
>the newbies are learning, my gf and critical role chick have never played before but are throwing themselves into it, both roleplaying hard and doing their best to learn the system
>the others, all having played before, are doing okay. One is thrown a bit by edition differences, but generally all is well
>and then came the autist
>never role played
>never tried to engage with the group
>at least not normally
>she would make suggestive comments to at least one of her exes at least once per session
>they didn't like it, but I'd said I'd kick her the moment one of them wanted me to if need be - none of them asked so we continued
>I hoped she would improve, maybe stop being such a tard and at least try
Wrong.
>as one session reaches a climax, the group has a large battle in the streets of the city - their assailants try to escape and they give chase

Cont

>autist is silent, but has a weird fucking grin on her face
>like the face someone makes when they're thinking back fondly to some happy memory, but animated really badly by a shitty cgi team so it's uncanny as fuck
>that's what she looked like
>the party dashes in pursuit of the enemy, autist's rogue in the rear (of course she was a rogue)
>their assailants split and try to lose them, so the party pause and do the same
>autistrogue siezes the moment
>"I grab Anya (the cleric, one of her exes) and drag her into the alley we just passed"
>I allow it since nothing is wrong yet and holy shit it seems like she's trying to roleplay SOMETHING
>Anya is bundled into the alleyway and then turns to face the rogue
>"What is it? Are you hurt?"
>autist says nothing, in character
> she turns to me and says, no fucking lie, "What check do I roll to force her to strip for me."

Session ended there.
She was not invited back.

Once she had been removed, all three exes came forward saying that she'd been sending them weird fucking messages over discord
>critical role admitted that autist had been trying to put the moves on her too, with all the delicacy and subtly of an angry rhino
>gf admitted that after one early session, autist had got drunk and tried to grope her - she said nothing because of the alcohol

No one wanted to damage the group since they didn't want to stop playing or have to try and find another.

(((Dykes)))
Every day we stray further from god

This seems fake. I'm genuinely surprised this guy is not in jail. How beta do you have to be to not call the cops on his ass?

Was expecting this story to end with "Last thing I heard Jerry's trying his hand at DMing some Twitch thing now."

OP here.

My advice was literally "You are breaking the law by doing this."

How is that not advice? Fucking idiot.

woah... Never had such shit happen, guess I'm lucky. Then again I only game with friends and acquaintances.

>I've seen this EXACT situation happen.
You've been in this exact situation where going to the police and telling them that this guy's been doing your underage daughter and he needs to be put away bad has lead to the father being arrested?

How the fuck does that happen? Do the police get paid per arrest or something?

You've fapped to lesbians user, don't pretend you havent

Honestly, the friend failed as a human and as a father.

kek

I've fapped to actual women pretending to be lesbians, not the manatees and women(male) that call themselves lesbians IRL

>How is that not advice?
That's a statement of fact, advice would be
>you're breaking the law and therefore you should...
Thanks for confirming that you're an autist though
>how is not giving advice not givibg advice
I realize that you probably feel bad and created this thread for vindication, probably argued with me because of thus too like a samefagging spastic, but there's just none to give.
You fucked up and you'll have to live with that and learn from it for the future

I'm the guy you responded to.
Bisexual women are a-okay.

>Some faggot on teegee thinks I'm pathetic oh no
No where did I say I wouldn't call the cops or tell the dude to go to the police, but I'm not going to fault someone for not wanting to get involved in that shitshow.

Oh right I see, a standard 'roasties ree' thing going on.

Punched the DM's wife?

In the DM's home?

and didn't get obliterated?

explain, or cease with the lies.

I have no problem with roasties. They may be stupid but they're mostly endearing, so ass long as the stay the fuck out of my hobbies I'm fine with them. Lesbians are the literal rejects of womankind though, like a real-life mixture of /pol/ and /mlp/ if all women were Veeky Forums.

>implying that you don't care
It's too late, hippie, too many replies.

Closest thing I have to your Wandering Retard is a player, Steve. Not his actual name, I just hate the guy enough that he ought to be named Steve.

Steve likes Deadpool. Steve thinks he's basically Wade Wilson without the mercenary career or superpowers, but has the same "less funny, more rude" style most would-be Deadpools out there have. Steve is also way overconfident about his fighting abilities, often bragging he could take X character or Y actual person. As I'm sure you can imagine, it's because he has a sword and thinks he's good at using it. I've never seen him go so far as to try and replicate anime/videogame moves with it, but he often swings it around outside in his backyard. Telegraphing and overly slow movements are about as exaggerated as you think. I give him bonus points for something that's neither overdesigned fantasy bullshit or a katana, though. Amusingly enough he also seems to be hardcore "anti-liberal" and basically calls anyone he doesn't like a libtard, even though he isn't particularly conservative and uses it for things that have nothing to do with politics. I don't get the kid.

Steve has managed his way into several D&D groups, some I've been witness to. As a player, he's not that bad: he's got a thing for martials, doesn't like spellcasters but will play a hybrid as long as he can use straightforward damage, buff or healing spells to make him better at being a fighter-type, and as such isn't horribly OP or anything. His characters are comfortably edgy but don't force it down your neck (he's too busy trying to be the strong silent type) and he doesn't work against the party. However, he's frequently out of groups within a few weeks, mainly because of his behavior. Here's what I know about his exploits in being banned from groups: (cont)

>He brought his sword to a group to show it off, and the DM told him not to do it again. When a new player joined he brought it anyway, was told to bring it home and come back, but told the DM to fuck off and never came back. (This was the first time I learned he was genuinely Steve-worthy.)
>He turned a group into a political debate, started throwing insults when the DM wanted to get back to the game, and was booted.
>He threatened to beat up a female player's boyfriend "if he ever fucked up" and wouldn't stop asking if she wanted him to. She got uncomfortable after a while and after being asked to stop a couple times was out once she started bringing it up to the others.
>Swearing and yelling in front of a DM's kids.
>Threatening players he didn't like.
>Trying to get a guy who took fencing lessons to "spar" with him so many times that the player in question quit (I was there for this one) and was booted for scaring a player off in order to get the guy back.
>More than one account of just telling too many off-color jokes and thinking the visible reprehension and complaints for him to stop were just people being overwhelmed by his "comedy" (the only other times I've been present for his shenanigans).

L O N D O N
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As a bi guy, I never understood the appeal of watching lesbians for a man. Where's the appeal? Where do you envision yourself in that scenario? No place to self-insert yourself and outside of that most porn is absolute garbage choreographically.

It's sort of introductory porn.
>I want to watch porn, but don't want to see a dick
>Because looking at dicks makes you a homo

>As a faggot, I never understood the appeal of watching lesbians for a man.
FTFY.

It makes sense when you're straight, user.
You don't focus on the guy in porn, you focus on the girl anyway, so there's no real difference.
Must be weird to be a faggot

>straight up punching a DM's wife in the face for serving him oatmeal and raisin cookies
He is redeemed. All hail Jerry, the avatar of this board.

FOUR BREASTS
O
U
R

B
R
E
A
S
T
S

You genuinely disgust me.

I don't self insert in the porn I watch.

Dumbshit is an autistic tard that only eats carbs. I've seen him order 3 loaded potatoes and a large fry at Wendy's and eat them all. I've witnessed Dumbshit take a slice of pizza, wipe off the cheese and toppings, and eat only the crust and dough. Dumbshit kinda drifts in and out of games when he feels like it and since he isn't rude or mean people let him in. But he is for sure a cringe factory. None of his characters ever 'feel like fighting' so he'll never use any barbarian or fighter features or feats or really participate in combats. Both in and out of game he lies constantly but he's so pathetic with his lies people think he's just joking. Another time I was walking down the hall to the kitchen and passed the bathroom and there he was with the door open, looking at himself in the mirror holding his own dick. A friend caught an eyeful of penis as well on a separate occasion where Dumbshit 'forgot' to close the door while he was taking a piss. Now this next part combines two quirks of Dumbshit. Dumbshit can't/won't say the shorthand version of anyone's name (Mikes are always Michael, Joe is always Joseph, etc.) and Dumbshit thinks fighting is dumb and professional fighters are overrated. One day at the table I watched Dumbshit try and make fun of Mike Tyson and got this:

Dumbshit pounds his chest with his wrist, his hand crooked like a retard. "Look at me! I'm Michael Tyson! I'm bobbing and weaving! I'm Michael Tyson! I'm Michael Tyson!"

His 'bob and weave' is him bending over and back stiff as a board like a retard does. Next Dumbshit tried to imitate Tyson's infamous eat bite of Evander Holyfield and grabbed the person next to him, yanked him over and pretended to bite his ear. He ended up licking it by 'accident'.

The worst part is he's related to me

I guess that makes sense, inasmuch as softcore porn is still a thing. Still weirds me out unless the viewer is fantasizing about themselves also getting involved, in which case threesomes seem more their thing.

For me it's slightly above watching a woman with one of those dildo machines: clearly sexual, but not enticing. I'd rather see her with a guy. Guess porn as oblique self-insert fantasy isn't the norm.

This is the best argument I've seen for it.

Fake and gay. Why would the GM let him inside the house the second time instead of just shutting the door to his face?

When I'm running a game I just leave the door open and players can come in by themselves.
Frequently come down from playing computer games to find a couple of guys have got their early and already have their snouts into the trough with the snacks, dirty buggers.

You've got issues my friend

White knight the attention whore some more. Gotta make a big deal oh how she's a lezzer, can't just say "players", no the fact she's a muff fancier has to be told to us, because it's fucking vital information that we desperately needed to know.

Safe neighborhood you got there.

>Jerry was a slightly autistic person who knew better.

If you know better, you're not autistic.