Hygiene and Veeky Forums

The prelude

I've sorted myself out to a degree but I used to be pretty bad.

I was overweight and would get a lot of diarrhea and never washed so my asshole was really itchy all the time.

I was playing at my.local GW playing some Eldar player with my Nids. Around mid game I could feel my arsehole starting to itch so put my hand down there and uses my finger nails to scratch my bud. Felt good.

My opponent at that point started complaining about a horrendous smell and I realised there was shit still covered all over my hands.

I just wiped it on my jeans then licked my fingers clean. Did the job. Well. At least he stopped complaining

Game ended quick after that as my outflanking Genestealers run all over his poor space elfs. Happy result overall.

>Not having your opponent lick your fingers clean after his ignominious defeat

>Also, anyone remember that thread by some neckbeard several months back asking about hygiene and coasters for his first dnd session? He ended up eating macaroni and cheese meant for the entire group and then awkwardly offered the players money in recompense. Pic related
Found it:
Part 1: archive.4plebs.org/tg/thread/35485482
Part 2: archive.4plebs.org/tg/thread/35686342

>tfw unable to find a FLGS that isn't super-far from me

Is this pasta?
If someone I was playing with did this I would stand up and leave

This the most horrible thing I've read in a long time. What the fuck dude.

>I just wiped it on my jeans then licked my fingers clean. Did the job. Well. At least he stopped complaining

I would have asked the owner to throw you out.

I'm definitely not Veeky Forums, certainly not Veeky Forums, but I've at least got the decency to take a thorough shower the morning of, at the latest the night before. I get self conscious if I have a stank to me.

I think most of the players at the LGS I've been to have been good about that, too. There have been a few pungent emissaries of Nurgle that have past through, but none have been long term.

We did have one old guy who claimed to be a former mercenary that used to show up, though. That sounds like it would have been cool to pick his brain for campaign ideas, but he was really quite bad at rules and pretty off the deep end.

I carry a bottle of Lush deodorant and Dads Lemon tree spray, along with a toothbrush, toothpaste, and a tiny thing of mouth wash. I wear clean clothes, and make sure I smell okay. Seriously don't want to fit the neck beard stereotype anymore than I actually do.

If it's not, it should be now.

God, how I love soap. For my money there's nothing more manly than the smell of a good sandalwood or rosewood soaping. I shower every day and there's nothing like good hot water on sore muscles. Soap isn't just my fucking waifu, it's my goddamned soulmate.

>My opponent at that point started complaining about a horrendous smell and I realised .there was shit still covered all over my hands.

>I just wiped it on my jeans then licked my fingers clean. Did the job. Well. At least he stopped complaining

Oh god, take a pic of those rules next time, and post it here. Sounds like a fun read.

I can't even begin to estimate how much of this wonderful stuff I have gone through.

But then they changed the recipe because weak skinned faggots couldn't handle the cleanliness. The new orange stuff isn't as good.

I have a sort of... I guess you can call it musk, though I hate the word itself. I shower twice a day, use antipersperant, always wear clean clothes/replace my bedsheets and wash them, all that. Fortunately this kills about 98-99% of it. I used to be a lot, LOT worse in highschool, back when I didn't do more than the average person.

Even with all that there's this sort of scent to me. Most of the people I know either don't notice it or find it (in my current state) moderately unpleasant, but not enough to be unable to tolerate. It's kind of like having an ugly friend, not like being stabbed in the nose constantly. I've never smelled it myself, but it apparently just smells of a mix of sweat and wet dog. At least one person I've met says I "just smell like boy, but stronger" and claims to like it.

I avoid going to the FLGS because of it. There's enough nerds out there with no hygiene standards, I don't wanna be either confused for one or just make it worse.

I shower every morning to stay refreshed and clean. I don’t get the whole fa/tg/uy thing of never being clean– virgins with no day job should be obligated to be clean and fresh.

I love this vanilla-coconut shampoo I typically wear.

>Where do you yourself stand?

I didn't take good care of myself back when I still hated myself more intensively (age 9-23 or so), which mostly showed itself in not properly taking care of my hair and very infrequently changing my bedsheets, but I eventually mostly got over it.

Another issue's that my skin doesn't play nice with scented soaps, so I really couldn't keep my zits under control for a long time.

Average and okay, as are all my players ever. Rarely below average, rarely above average. Never been to a flgs. Little brother's got some nurgle-inspired foot stank he doesn't address, the cunt. I have to force the little fuck to change socks and wash his fucking feet, he seemingly doesn't notice or care.

There's one 40k player who always smells. We thing it because he comes direct from work
Otherwise there's the few magic kiddies that are awful
But the skunk award goes to the smash brothers players, by a wide margin.

Never had a problem with smells at most lgs, the exception being one where the building itself was rather musty due to poor air circulation.
Personally, I put on deodorant before stepping out of the house. Never had anyone complain about how I smell

Used to shower about once a week but I've cleaned up from then. To be fair I didn't NEED to shower more often and i didn't have the time to do so.

Yes, you do need to. Just because your autism doesn't allow you to consider that it might bother other people despite not bothering you doesn't make it true.

test

>not having the time to shower

"ok"

I used to be like that not shower for a week and not care.

Now if I have one day without a shower I feel fucking horrible, sticky, itchy and gross. No idea how I managed it.

>not running your sessions in a bath house
It's like you want your players to be filthy.

> Around mid game I could feel my arsehole starting to itch so put my hand down there and uses my finger nails to scratch my bud. Felt good.

Tell me again about how anime card sleeves are why girls don't go LGSs.

Well, I've moved now so I don't go there anymore.

The LGS I used to go to was fairly reasonable but during the modern magic tournaments, or even worse the extended, you'd get some real fucking troll people.

They were all morbidly obese or skinny-fat and all smelled. One guy and his girlfriend both smelled like a fucking ocean of piss, it was awful.

Are you black?

Use antibacterial soap on your asshole and pits.

Make sure you massage your scalp when washing your hair.

I worked at an LGS a few years back. We didn't have anything too bad except this one guy. There was something wrong with him upstairs. He had an odd smell we couldn't place and his hands were always slimy. We finally figured something was up when he always reached into his pockets before handling something or touching someone. Turned out he had raw chicken in his pockets and he was rubbing raw chicken slime all over everything. We perm banned him and had police escort him out. Then spent the rest of the day fucking cleaning everything.

> I could feel my arsehole starting to itch so put my hand down there and uses my finger nails to scratch my bud. Felt good.
> I realised there was shit still covered all over my hands.
>I just wiped it on my jeans then licked my fingers clean.
fuckin' hell user, I know this has to be fake but it got me a good laugh either way

What kind of mental illness gets someone to stick a raw chicken in his pocket and rub the slime all over stuff?

Probably some misguided attempt at getting everyone sick or something. Like the school shooter equivalent of salmonella

Me too m8.
I was 17 and my parents neglected me (no friends but they didn't care, always dirty, greasy hair and overweight)
Thanks mom and dad for making me a beta
Now I can't go outside without a shower and clean clothes, I'm super sensitive about my image

>smash brothers players
Does anyone who isn't a Smash player like Smash players? I see them get shit on by every other community who interacts with them regularly.
>Historic enmity between Smash players and the fighting game community
>Vidya tournament organizers hates them because they require special setups for SSBM
>Even people in the broader Smash community hate Melee players for doing retarded shit constantly
IIRC there was also something recent about SSBM commentators trying to start a union or some shit like that that made the laughingstock of vidya commentators.

Spaghetti was too basic for him.

No, i really didn't need to shower. For one, I used to always wear heavy clothes, I wore a jacket, sweater, and overcoat everywhere. no exceptions. Second, the smell of coffee and chlorine was extremely strong on me, much much more than any perfume could be. My hair was long, it reached close to my shoulders at its longest and was a buzzcut at its shortest. Oil takes longer to saturate long hair, so you don't need to worry about stinky or grimy hair.

I was sick very frequently so I felt ill most of the time and thus was either sleeping, working, or gaming with no time to shower

You don't know me.

>either sleeping, working, or gaming with no time to shower
>gaming
>no time
Part of that gaming time could've been spent in the shower. I'm glad you've cleaned up and all, but don't lie to yourself.

I remember that time, a 80 persons MtG Legacy tournament, in that tiny ass shop (room was probably like 6 m x 15 m)
I played my Merfolk deck, fine-tuned against the meta. Of the decks I feared the most was Elfball combo. After 2 rounds I'm at 1-1, and the room temperature is now barely tolerable, overheated, well you can imagine it with that room packed with 80 people
So I'm first at my table, and here comes *that* guy. A tall, kinda overweight guy. Barely talks, and sits there, not removing his heavy green padded jacket. We shake hands, more like his slippery unclean greasy fat hand slips inside mine.
Then I begin to smell him. This guy reeks disgusting old sweat, the kind of smell you acquire after like, never washing yourself.
The games starts, and he plays elfball combo, my worst match-up. But he doens't play like a socially-able human, aka interacting with me, but rather like an autist, closed inside his own autopilot, avoiding my glance, only grunting to ask for my approbation. He starts to combo off, I can't do anything. And his smell. His foul unbearable smell in that fucking heat.
In the second game he starts again to combo-off, my mind freezes on what to do, I try to stop him but whatever, I prefer to lose the match instead of enduring his smell any longer.

Not many claim that bonus.

I think I'm pretty decent. I sometimes smell a little sweaty from walking uphill to the LGS but nobody has ever commented on it. I do have a bad habit of turning down food when offered though, I dunno why, I just dont like taking food from others, even when they've gone out of their way to cook it for me.

Since i play online and without a webcam i am capable of not showering for a whole week.
But if i have to leave the house i usually put some effort into it. Plus i don't like to smell or feel dirty so i susually shower regularly anyway

I feel physically sick, good job, user.

>never showered
>always sick
Ahoy retard, there's your problem. Clean the fucking bacteria off yourself and you wouldnt be sick all the time

That's really the only funny one I can remember. Most of the rules are basic shit like wearing flip flops in there and not bringing any of the club's property in with you.

Not too bad.
I showered, what, a week ago?

about the long hair part, you'll be happy to know that the top of the cranium does accumulate various stinks quickly anyway. It's even worse with long hair. Talking from experience of an autistic brother who did the same, coffee excluded

You're are entirely delusional. You are more than likely a detriment on the people around you with that shit stained attitude that likely permeates your every interaction. Eat shit, faggot.

No flgs for me no more, sir, and all of my gaming accomplices I would rate normal, at worst slightly below average. But then there's this one guy, who has reservation for a municipal "club room" with enough space to run 16-palyer tournaments in the town where my parents live. We're mostly using the space to run our ttrpg campaigns, him partaking in them, but are slowly getting back to 40k.
And he's, well... Huge. Like, belly fat drooping over his waistline huge. Often with too small, worn-out clothing. And he smells so damn sweaty, always, it can be smelled within a few metres of him.
At least his hands are clean and otherwise fairly kempt, but heck is he unpleasant to the eye and nose as he trounces aroudn when excited. Very much your stereotypical manchild brony neckbeard, except maybe somewhat cleaner.

As for myself, I shower once or twice per day, washing my long hair about twice a week. I sometimes get a bit lazy with my facial hair, but mostly when not going out in the public. I feel dirty if I miss the daily shower, and deodorant in the morning is a must, but sadly it is no match for my stress-induced sweat that I occasionally get.

You gotta be rusing me, bro.

Oh that's dreadful. But like you said you cleaned up - s'long as you're aware how you look - or smell - before you're out of the house you're good

when I grew my hair out I had to do a lot of extra work to prevent this, as well as brush the hair regularly, trim split ends, and deal with it getting literally everywhere. Long hair is too much work.

>i never clean myself
>im sick all the time
you think the two are related? you miserable degenerate nigger?

Post your winter season fragrance

Perfumes are for faggots

I normally play with my office mates, so things are generally okay. I sometimes go to a smaller lgs near work and most people there are physically acceptable (some That-Guy personalities though).

I went with a friend to a different lgs the other night and we played some commander, but someone nearby smelled so fucking bad.

I now also have a new co-worker who joins us, he also sits next to me and is absolutely disgusting. Overweight, smells sweaty, pizza-face, looses silent farts every 15 minutes, dresses in graphic tees and baggy shorts, gulps down Pepsi as though he's been lost in the desert for weeks and mistaken it for water, then belches.

Really, how the fuck to people live like that without the slightest notion that they are absolutely repulsive and could take a few simple steps to alleviate it?

Was at GW today for AoP.
Everyone fine apart from one unwashed guy who walked in and stunned us
Seriously take a shower you fuckers

why did i read this thread... my imagination is way too sensitive toward disgust triggers and now i feel horrible

Except anime sleeves are actually a thing, and faggots who use them should be deported

I didn't know there are FLGSes in India.

For every fa/tg/uy who bullshits something about smelly poobum, there are often one or two unwashed cave trolls stinking up the average LGS. (Granted, the unwashed cave troll could also be a gril, because god knows I've heard plenty of horror stories about that.)
Pic related: my.mixtape.moe/gornhf.jpg (NSFW/NSFL)

Pic related in the gril sense, there are plenty of examples of the other type ITT. I went to my uni's games club and there was a guy there who smelled like straight horse ass. Even if you were a foot or two away from him, you'd get hit by this wall of stink. Had undertones of mold as well, so there might've been something growing in his flab folds.

I would say my lgs is not to bad. We have a couple of neck beard land whales but they actually don't smell to bad, they take care of themselves and have a decent scent, like fresh laundry or men's body wash. The worst is some scrawny bone rack that smells kinda like cinder chips and old milk, not great but bearable. As for me, I'm not supposed to used scented soaps or shampoos do to psoriasis, so I have to rely on deodorants and out of the dryer clothes to take care of what my scrubbing doesn't get rid of. But according to my wife and buddies I smell fine.

Quite good, especially considering the clientele is still stereotypical neckbeards. Never been bothered by BO, dandruff, pit sweat, etc.

Why do these people of no sense of shame? Is it some kind of mental illness because I can't explain it otherwise to me.

...

Few better fragrances than the faint hint of freshly baked bread.

Also, it's tasty as fuck and way cheaper than buying it.

That wasn't bad until the end where he offered the money to the guy next to the DM. Overall better than expected for a NEET. He has the potential to adjust well, I think.

Some people develop BO for dietary or medical reasons. You may want to examine your eating habits and google your diet using key words like "body odor" and stuff like that, or even talk to your doctor about it.

>never showered
>sick frequently
HMMMMMMM

I don't bother to wash often. Last time was for my aunt's funeral about 7 months ago. It's only something that bothers other people, not me. I still get games at the store because people really want to game and I'm there all the time. In the end they have to put up with it, but that's life. We all tolerate things about other people we don't like. That guy's haircut, that other guy's face, this guy's nasal voice. I got m' musk and I don't find it a disadvantage in life. Fat too, and I don't shave. Not my problem.

I really, really hope you are just joking.

Otherwise the government should step in. People like this are the reason disease spreads.

>tfw no flgs
but our GM's home is completely disgusting, there are so many fruit flies around you have to cover your drinks, and instead of throwing his garbage away he just throws his garbage bags into big black bags and leaves them out on the porch, and some in the apartment. The kitchen is rife with tv dinner packages and plastic, the smell is really something, and he's not even able to clean up the gaming table before inviting people in. There's soda cans covering almost every horizontal surface bar the floor and I'd seriously prefer to actually rent a place where we can play our games.

...

JUST CLEAN YO SELF

Captured for Posterity

The store itself smells like onions so I stopped going.

>tfw ywn play an tabletop with Asmongold

...

plaguebearer.

> All the bait posts in this thread that people are taking seriously

You guys do realize that the sort of neckbearded stinkmonsters that actually perfume your FLGS are all either way too unaware/chromosomally-deficient to realize something is wrong with them, or are the sort of beta faggots that would never admit it?

>Is it some kind of mental illness
Seems like it more often than not.

What's your favorite type of bread to make? I've got an oatmeal molasses bread I like to make that goes good with beer.

Have you tried getting your GM to meet at you or someone else's house instead?

My screenshot folder is an absolute clusterfuck but I'll see if I have a couple more neckbeardy posts saved.

Doesn't look like urine and crotch is dry. Why do people beg for attention like this?

On topic, does anyone remember Mark of Nurgle? It's a tale from way back when, but it's a good one.

>On topic, does anyone remember Mark of Nurgle? It's a tale from way back when, but it's a good one.
The only oldfag neckbeard story I remember is Luke Plagueson, which is still one of my favorites. I know most of it was probably exaggerated for effect but it hit all the right marks for me. That bit where he claims they caught him jerking it to Guilty Gear porn fucking floored me.

People are fucking batty.

>Where do you yourself stand?

Funnily enough just got back from men's league hockey, so in need of a shower.

Otherwise, shower/shave/deodorant every day, and wash hair every other day (my hair gets ridiculous split ends otherwise). There are two exceptions:
1) On the rare case I had an easy day and did nothing but sit in front of a computer screen and log overtime (perhaps one or two times/month), I might not bother with a daily shower, but I sure as fuck will reapply deodorant the 2nd day and I won't go more than the one extra day without a shower.
2) If I have a schedule where I know I have something sweaty and gross to do the next morning (early hockey, summer yardwork, or similar) I won't bother with the morning shower until after the gross thing is done. There's no point at waking up at 5am for a 6:30am hockey game and showering beforehand; just grab the shower after the game.

>Things used to be different. When I was deployed, we'd go upwards of a week without a shower, easy. Or that time in BCT where the pipes to our barracks exploded so we literally COULDN'T shower for two weeks, and had to use port-a-johns set up outside for bathrooms. But that's different, and you're in an environment where everyone else smells like shit too, so nobody is stupid enough to complain about it.

I've always worked jobs where I was busy weekends. I used to play at the local GW on Thursdays. We wrapped a campaign (although it ended disasterously as most players stopped showing up after they lost a couple games) on a Saturday.

I had never been in on a Saturday before.

Jesus, God. The smell... It was really something to behold. At one point I really blatantly just sniffed both my armpits and looked to one guy I knew and said 'what the fuck, is that me?!'.

He just gave me a grave look and said 'No, it's not you' and motioned over to the tables where the high school kids were playing.

The manager actually started to make passes by their tables with a can of Febreeze and just spraying them all as the day wore on.

The smell was astounding. Only thing g I've smelled worse was going into a local FLGS on a Saturday to buy some minis and stumbled across a Magic tournament.

I played hockey and rugby growing up and a locker room is nothing compared to these animals.

That's the one, or at least when I google "Luke Plagueson" the guy I was thinking of came up. Here's a screencap.