Stupid shit player characters do

I don't know if you know this, but die kinda suck at telling stories. Players and people and good DMs with good role play tell a better story.

>WoD playing force mage with gravitonic drones
>Set up to push enemies away with gravity wall made by drones.
>Ally puts wall in front of them that blocks both ways.
>Says nothing
>Another "Ally" who knows these creatures eat tongues decides to grab a party member and threaten their tongue so they leave.
>Fails
>Threatens his own tongue
>Tries to shoot own tongue
>Fails again
>Whole table very confused

>crazy dwarf plans to blow up the city of a lord who wronged him
>spend decades digging tunnels under the city along with his guild of crazed lunatics
>DM clearly explains they're filling the tunnels with explosives that would cause a chain reaction and level half the city
>we start sneaking around and sneakily kill the few dwarves we encounter to make sure none trigger the explosives preemptively
>wizard says he has a plan and we need to leave the tunnel for him to cast the spell
>we're intrigued and leave to see what clever plan he has
>fireball
>half the city is leveled
>we're caught in the explosion and all die
>claims he thought the barrels were filled with oil and the explosives were going to be placed after they finished digging the tunnels

Even I'm confused.

>Players have to make a smart move to live.
>They make the most idiotic move.
>They chimp out and hate you.

What do you mean by this exactly? In some cases, something that seems "obvious" to you as the DM isn't going to be obvious to the players, especially if you failed to convey the appropriate information on that would make it obvious. Here's an example:

>DM: "you have to drink from the chalice of jesus the king of kings" says the ghost knight
>DM: all the chalices look the same, golden, sparkling, magnificent
>Player: oh geez well i mean i guess i pick one that maybe looks like it's been used before
>DM: well they all look used
>Player: alright well then I guess I pick up one at random
>DM: you drink and die. you chose poorly, IDIOT. you were supposed to pick up the wooden one that's simple
>Player: but you never told us that one was there. you said all of them were golden
>DM: hey stop chimping out on me just because you made an IDIOTIC move

I think it's more "When did your players do something fucking retarded and get themselves killed doing it?"

I got a story.
>Join on the second session of a Call of Cathullu game.
>Me and another player find old building full of civil war stuff
>We find glowing basement trap door, go downstairs.
>See 6 coffins, zombie guy comes out
>GAAAHH! I go to attack
>No man don't attack, say hi or something.
>Ok? Say hello instead.
>Zombies tell us about how cool it is to be dead, and that our quest girl we are trying to save is over in the mines.
>Btw Wana be zombies with us? Can join the horde for our Tentcal god.
>My flight instinct kicks in.
>"Yea totally later, by gotta go!!!"
>Try running
>Other player says "wait man"
>But user that's dumb.
>Naw man just wait it out.
>Ok, maybe this other player has a plan, I did miss the first session after all.
>Follow zombies to pound.
>They tell us to let them tie us to post, so their god can come out and NOTrape us.
>Haha the plan! Go do the thing other player!!
>No man it's chill, trust me.
>...but user. This is stupid, but you must have a good plan.
>Let them tie us to poles.
>Testicles monster comes out, kills us and turns our bodies into undead.
>user! What the fuck! What was your plan!?!
>Dude I just wanted to see what would happen, those zombies seemed chill.

Fuck me for thinking he had a plan.

>PC party consists of 4 people with barely any gear due to low starting cash
>They end up with situation to take down a camp in a run-down community garden, about 30 enemy soldiers inside
>Perfectly possible if they scout around, pick up sentries, use hedges and start shooting from inside rather than outside
>After barely any scouting, they charge head-on into MG nest at the entry road
>Surprised I've killed them during first game
I'm still not sure what they've been expecting from Twilight 2000. I myself was almost expecting someone screaming "Leroy Jenkins"

I don't know what twilight 2k is. But it sounds like you implied they could handle the 30 dudes, Mabey played it like there wasn't 30 dudes? It sounds like bad DM didn't explain the scene well enough.

Here's a lesson every player of RPGs needs to learn: When a player suggests doing something that sounds stupid, question it. Don't just assume they know what they are talking about. Sometimes the PC in question is an idiot.

>>claims he thought the barrels were filled with oil and the explosives were going to be placed after they finished digging the tunnels
This is a great example of the classic Triple Stupid.
Was it stupid to think that the barrels were just filled with oil and the explosives were going to be placed later? Yes, but everyones stupid sometimes.
However, it was double stupid to blow them all up in order to remove the "barrels of oil".
And it was triple stupid to do so without, you know, checking one of the barrels for explosives first.

It's quadruple stupid that the bombs where planted in the first place.

That's a digging hazard!! I'd call my Union if I was one of dem dwarfs.

Post-apoc military/survival setting. Guns kill people.

CoC

>know that someone is basically a dangerous sorcerer, member of the cult they were investigating, and it's one of their leads.
>go to his house
>the guy doesn't really want to talk to strangers
>they start to brag about an eldritch artifact they have that might be really important to him (it was)
>one of the pc gave him his card with his adress on it (even the other were shocked)
>at least he understood why byakhees came to his house this night

It's the same group that ended up followed and detained by the police because they never try to cooperate with them..

user, Twilight 2000 is an extremely gritty post-apo game. You get shot - you die. You get cut - you get tetanus and die. You don't eat - you starve. You sneeze - you die. And so on and forth. Combined with the fact the game obligatory starts behind "enemy lines" (big quotation marks) and all this being telegraphed with BIG BOLD CAPITAL LETTERS all over the book, it's just not possible to get the message.
If GURPS has a reputation of being autistic with mechanics, then Twilight 2000 is autismo supreme for getting you killed with its mechanics.

And ignoring all of above:
I don't know about you, but I consider charging on machine gun a stupid idea no matter what game is played.

MG = machine gun. Copy.
Yea that dose sound stupid. Dis you tell them what game they where playing?

>It's quadruple stupid that the bombs where planted in the first place.
Nope, sorry.
It's a separate stack of stupid, so it doesn't count.

>That's a digging hazard!! I'd call my Union if I was one of dem dwarfs.
That would be the appropriate response however, Urist.

OP Here.
>D&D Basic.
>You attack a spellcaster and you counter spell him.
>Players are attacked by a skeleton phalanx, that are controlled by a necromancer next door.
>No one goes in his room to hit him and prevent him from buffing to 26 AC.

>charging on machine gun a stupid idea no matter what game is played.
Machine Gun NEST
That ups it to suicidally stupid.

>I don't know what twilight 2k is
>DM
>didn't explain scene well enough
Obligatory pic related
What part of "there are 4 of you and 30 of them" is not explained well enough in a game where a single rifle round can kill you dead and the GM apparently gave them enough room to scout around, but players chose to attack without any prep and without any heavy artillery on their side?
It's like you are too stupid to grasp the basic concept of highly realistic post-apo military game with a death rate so high it puts Paranoia into shame.

>inb4 I don't know what Paranoia is
Stop using Veeky Forums then.

meh.
That's bad strategy and failing to make the smartest move, but not really making the most idiotic move.
Switching to piercing weapons only would be the most idiotic move.

There are no damage types in LotFP (Retroclone we use).

>user states they don't know game
>You assume they know the game is one where a single rifle round can kill you dead
>You assume they know the game is a highly realistic post-apo military game with a high death rate
Ask not for whom the stupid bell tolls, user.

Your entire shit talk is based on a thing I said I didn't know.
Chill boi.

Ah.
I just pulled up a ruling that would make sense universally.
Thin, poking weapons shouldn't do much against skellies.

Insert mechanically and strategically stupid option then.

Maybe you should learn about a subject before opining upon it, then.

>The book opens with explaining how deadly it is
>Chargen chapter opens with explaining how deadly it is
>Tables next to health and age explain how deadly it is
>Chapter about combat repeats roughtly once per page how deadly it is
>Chapter about gear explains how fast each weapon and vehicle can turn you into a mince (usually in single attack, unless it's a knife or a stick)
>Chapter about player advices repeats roughtly once per five advices how not fighting is the best option to live
>Starting adventure flat-outs says you are dead, unless you think things through
user, I get it, you never heard about the game, but consider the following:
- book informs you on every step you are going to die in pretty horrible fashion
- it is not possible to make a character without reading through the chargen chapter, as you won't even understand what all those acronyms and abbreviations in character sheet mean or how to fill them and what to roll for them

So stop being obtuse for no other purpose than not knowing even the game you try to talk about and defending utter idiocy of head-on charge on machine gun (which you didn't even understood the first time, as it took you a whole to connect MG with machine gun)

Maybe you should read a thread and posted related to subject before you make your own post. Dumbass.
Lurk more, then KYS.

I've got a story, I'm not the DM per se but, its about a really retarded player (We'll call him Luke) making me become a pirate in our most recent game.
>During our pathfinder game we were spelunking in some old ass ruins
>Being the main source of damage for my group I was voted to go first
>I walk down a hallway and roll poorly on perception and an acrobatics check
>One crit from the DM and a giant fireball comes out of a statue and immolates my right leg from the thigh down
>I've never played with this DM before and was told by other players that our DM will happily take my leg if we don't treat it fast
>Through some shenanigans we end up behind a stone door safe on top of a dead regenerating goblin (which we promptly set on fire) and a pile of dead rats
>The main chamber we came to next was described as having a pool that had celestial light coming from it
>Ohthankgod.jpeg
>I hop in and he tells me my leg starts to regenerate slowly "Its going to take you eight full hours"
>Fair enough
>We decide its a good idea to have everyone rest and sleep to recover spells and what not
>One character mentions that its a shame Im regrowing my leg I would look like a pirate due to my eye patch that lets me see ghosts and spectres
>We all laugh it off but then incomes retard Luke
>"Hey Vendrick" (My character name) "Yeah?"
>"Hop out of the pool quick I want to try something"
>Butmyleg.mp4
>OOC C'mon man just let me try something Im the sorcerer Im curious!"
>"Alright fine" I have my character use his greatsword to get up and out
>Without rolling anything retard Luke pulls out a cursed dagger (Which stole most of our rangers hearing) and throws it into the pool
>mfw pic related
>Our DM jaw drops and just stares for a second
>DM "You see the celestial light fade as the pristine water turns into a murky tar
>YOU FUCKING WHAT
>Everybody yells at retard Luke and he just shrugs saying "I didnt know that would happen"
So now I have my first barbarian pirate Vendrick Balder

Or, he could cite his ignorance and then go on to make a point that is based purely on the post it is replying to.
Like he did.

You know, like a friendly user interested in discussion, instead of a reckless faggot intent on hatred and shutting down any voice that isn't as perfect as their own.
Like as if discussing games was fun or something.

Calm down dumb nigger.
Learn to read. There is a whole thread with a conversation that explained the system and situation better. The user then agreed it was a stupid group.

It's called intilgent conversation or normal human interaction. Chill out and rethink your life. Then grow up.

And stop posting your retard. Your charging into this thread like a bunch of dumbass charging a MG nest.

Honestly sounds to me like he knew full well what he was doing.

...

>HURRRRRR
>REEEEEE
>DURRRRRR
... you were saying?

Cut his leg off in his sleep.

>user, I get it, you never heard about the game, but consider the following:
>- book informs you
Stopped reading.
1st, not that user.
2nd, if they never heard of the game, they never read the book
Your entire point is that they were stupid for not knowing what was in the book they said they never saw.
Stop being silly.

user made a judgement based on the wording of the post, taking it in context, and was wrong.
Calm your tits.
End the mammary calamity.

see

It's worse that he didn't wait till after. And also didn't wait to bottle up the magic water.

Is being a pirate fun?

>user made a judgement based on the wording of the post, taking it in context, and was wrong,
and got called out for it. Why this bothers you so?

That is a great idea, I've got our bard in my pocket since I've saved her ass maybe she can help me but him in a deep sleep so I can cleave it off

I don't have the twilight books. You have the thread your posting in. Enjoy my last (you). You got me, congratulations. You where the best retard! Did you get off with all those (you)s or did I edge you by being one (you) short?

Literally KYS.

>Party escorts local noblewoman to her uncle's keep
>They avoid few traps on their way and bluff their way through a military stockade
>Suddenly they've spot a dead body on a road with a dead wolf lying next to it
>Rather than just driving ahead, preferably over the dead body, they decide to inspect
>All 6 of them
Is the "help me" bait for carjacking really this obscure they fell so easily for such blatantly obvious trap? I wasn't expecting much out of it, rather preparing for a chase scene, but instead they've walked into an ambush, left the noblewoman unprotected (and temporarly got her kidnapped) and got most of their horses killed, while barely scrapping from all of this alive.

Look out, it's the board police!

Fucking nu/tg/ in its "finest".

Our DM was surprised too, because that was what it was meant for in the first place. He told us afterwards that if we did bottle the water it would've been as good as a potion of cure light wounds. I dont know just yet it happened last session so Im going to try to roll with it next session and see where it leads me lol

>if they never heard of the game, they never read the book
>Players playing the game never heard about it
Why are you retarded on purpose?

Probably because he himself needs to lurk more and understand how anonymous Tibetan tapestries work, instead of getting aggitated about being called out on own ignorance, but hey, it's everyone els and not him derailing this thread.

Yea. The "help me" bait for car jacking isn't that common. And a dead body is a step up from "help me". Those players acted within a reason of RP

>have a party in Not!Saudi Arabia
>party of five players, four humans and one gnome
>of course, the gnome gets singled out for wisecracks by NPCs
>after a while, I the DM feel it might be a bit unfair on the player, and that he might have trouble seperating player and character and feel targeted
>relent, and in a scene where the party is setting out on a sailing exploration mission funded by the royalty, have the king of not! saudi arabia meet all the characters
>the king humbly apologises on behalf of his kinsmen and country for the slights that have been given to the gnome
>the gnome says "thats ok, i dont listen to the opinion of idiots"

i let it slide, but

fuckin stupid gnome

If you aren't willing to deal with the consequences a failed roll, you shouldn't roll in the first place. This is just an example of poor GM'ing.

"Corpse by the road" is the most bizarre trap I have ever heard of. Normal people other than the cops aren't going to stop for a corpse. It only worked because PCs have to compulsively loot every body and assume that anything that the GM feels is important enough to mention has some relevance that shouldn't be ignored regardless of how inane it is.

GM makes a decision that leads to better story and RP.

Bad GM! I want number crunching! If I don't have PTSD from math class your doing it wrong!!!

>The "help me" bait for car jacking isn't that common
Depends on the country, I guess. Not more than a decade ago, it was pretty common up here to dress up in road police uniforms and stop trucks for inspection, only to steal them, while detaining/beating the living crap out of drivers. Shit was so common it even entred memes and jokes.

>PCs decide to charge MG nest directly

>compulsively loot every body
Well, I was expecting this to motivete them to pay attention, especially since I've mentioned the "body" has crossbow, which is always handy, but I wasn't expecting entire party to go for inspection. This was the part that really took me by surprise, since I was rather expecting a very careful frisk by single PC, covered by the reinforced wagon they've been travelling in.
Instead they've just walked into open, flat terrain with no obstacles, surrounded by thick woodland on both sides and players were visibly shocked it was a trap.

Why are you playing a game with actual game rules rules that ensure your actions and your character's statistics matter over the course of a campaign,
when, in reality, what you really want is to just sit in a circle and tell a story about how you're all awesome and winning forever?

...

That's pretty good, especially if dude was nonstop being targeted.

I was one of the players in this one.

>party is underground
>very deep underground
>in a fight
>other guy wants to use a spell
>it pretty much causes an earthquake
>we tell him that it's a bad idea to use it
>the GM tells him it's a bad idea to use it
>he uses it
>GM: "welp the tunnel collapses and you're all buried under hundreds of tons of dirt and rocks"
>idiot: "wait what? we're underground?"
>rest of the party: "yes you dumbass we've been underground for an hour and we told you not to use it for a reason"
>idiot: "oh I wasn't paying attention"
>GM: "okay I'll rewind just this once."

He left the group not much longer since he had just been endlessly complaining about how he wasn't having fun. The GM only rewound because the rest of us were really enjoying the game and he didn't want the one person not invested in it to ruin it for everyone else.

>what you really want is to just sit in a circle and tell a story about how you're all awesome and winning forever
>you're all awesome and winning forever
Not him, but everyone someone brings this "argument" against rule-light and narrative-driven games, I wonder if they ever played ANYTHING at all that is not a wargame or tried to roleplay at least once in their life.

>Fucking nu/tg/ in its "finest".
Hey, everyone's opinion is equally valid, even if that opinion is based on ignorance.

>everyone's opinion is equally valid
>even if that opinion is based on ignorance
I'm not sure you understand what "equally valid" means

Corpse and wounded (both need to be present) by the road is THE most common trap when it comes to actual car jacking, where the wounded distracts the driver and dead drives away or blind-sides the driver. It preys on human initiative to stop and help, which is especially common among professional drivers.
But true, it shouldn't really work for any other reason than looting in an RPG context

Even rules-light games generally have some sort of action/challenge/danger resolution mechanic with (or even without) dice rolling, and has said mechanic employed in such a way that it's intended to have real consequences for the characters involved.

Get your meter calibrated.

low-effort bait

the best part was the party got their hands on a bunch of familiars, and when trying to sell them, the merchants in the bazaar kept asking how much for the gnome, and when the player tried to tell them he wasnt for sale, they'd shout "It talks! It talks!"

... and never to roll overcome the narrative.
Because, you know, narrative is the main point of rule-light, not crunching down numbers. Kind of how FATE makes it pretty much impossible to fail your actions, even if your roll is shit.

...

That character deserved to die for the player's idiocy. Period.

Another brilliant example of retardness.

I hope you learned your lesson,user.

W-Was his character a God-Damned 4 year-old or something?

>Be 4
>Playing with dad's gun
>Distinctly remember putting barrel up to face and mouth and rapidly fingering the trigger
>Gun was unloaded
>Despite all this, still have the sense not to pull the pin on a toy grenade without quickly throwing it away
>Still think about it to this day

This is why I'm going to store my guns in my pouch when I have kids of my own. I'll just puke 'em back up whenever I need them.

It's that player's fault for not having watched Indiana Jones, 2bh

Reminds me

>Newbie player, never played any tabletop/RPG game in his entire life
>"I...I can do ANYTHING?"
>Sure, why not?
>"I pull out my gun and shoot myself in the head with it"
>"It happens and you die. Make a new character."

He was just testing the limits of the game and he played pretty normally after that, but seriously. Even for a beginner, what the hell did he think would happen?

>Why this bothers you so?
user getting called out for being wrong is fine.
It's more than fine, it's great.
The others that schooled wronganon are cool.
I'm just calling out the user saying "People who never heard of a game obviously are playing it and have studiously read the book" as being the lowest form of inbred imbecile, that makes wronganon seem damn worldly by comparison.
That's all.
No worries.

>>if they never heard of the game, they never read the book
>>Players playing the game never heard about it
The fuck?
The user commented on someone else's game, one he admitted to being unfamiliar with
Why are *you* retarded on purpose?

>getting aggitated about being called out on own ignorance
>own ignorance
You know what?
If you're not going to even try to remain sensible, I'm not having this argument with you.
I'm gonna have the arguement that I want to have.
Give me back my jacket already!
I said you could borrow it, not have it!
Give it back!

The pin is just a safety mechanism, the grenade doesn't arm until you let go of the lever that the pin is holding in place, ie: throw it.

I'm glad that gnome got his retribution then, poor fucker.

That is hardly the point. If the GM runs a story driven game he shouldn't call for dice rolls if the outcome may interfere with the story. Rolls become meaningless once their outcome will be evaluated and possibly discarded because they would be inconvenient.

And this is bizzare how?
I still remember when I have a 50:50 group, half of it made from grogs and half from people who never before even heard about RPG. The greenhorns were utterly baffled by the concept they can do anything they want, so for first two hours they were doing really weird shit that served no purpose at all solely to see if they really can do whatever the fuck is within logical limitations of the whole situation. And once they've been done with it, they've continued to play pretty normally, even if at times putting an almost autistic attention to details, apparently being afraid this must be done, or the their action won't be performed at all.

>Still getting worked out by this
It's like you really don't understand the concept of anonymous imageboard

>The pin is just a safety mechanism, the grenade doesn't arm until you let go of the lever that the pin is holding in place, ie: throw it.
If you pull the pin without saying you hold down the lever, which is important, then the lever will fly off and it will explode.

You don't have to throw it to let go of the lever, if you are an idiot it will explode in your hand.

You're assuming that decisions and stats having genuine consequences somehow precludes narrative. Narrative will always occur, even if it isn't forced, as a result of the results of the decisions the player characters take, and the world they do it in - including what others characters in the world do in response to those decisions and their results.

Role playing games generally delegate some of the responsibility of finding out what happens to certain game systems. But that doesn't make the story that results of characters trying to do something and then succeeding or failing somehow "not a narrative." It just unfolds more procedurally, and in a way that's generally outside the players' hands.

The only thing I'm getting from you so far is that you don't have a very strong concept of how RPGs work, and that you seem to like predictable plots where the main characters can't die because they have plot armor.

If that's really all you've got then I guess it's just a matter of preference. But I'd maybe question if you're really playing a game if you're waiving the fundamental gameplay loop and game philosophy pretty much entirely just so you can play house until you've got a story going - - that said, there's no such thing as badwrongfun, and if it works for you then the more power to you.

But if e.g. a D&D DM says "the monster would knock you unconscious and put you on 0HP, but it actually misses you because it's dumb when players die because of the rules of the game" then I'm personally not returning for the next session.

I'm sure there are some games that are designed to play the way you like. I can't imagine I'd like them myself though.

>All this crap
>All this implying
>All this passive-aggressive bullshit
Grab it, so you won't feel cheated out of your reward

You're pathetic.

So let me get this straight - you never played any narrative-driven game, but you still judge them, basing your judgement solely on baseless assumptions? All while smugly saying the other side has no idea about RPGs?

Also, ever occured to you you might be talking with more than one person?

You're both faggots. Now shut up.

>Bad GM! I want number crunching!
Nah.

>If you aren't willing to deal with the consequences a failed roll, you shouldn't roll in the first place.
This.
Any roll that'd only be acceptable if it passes, shouldn't be rolled.

>If the GM runs a story driven game he shouldn't call for dice rolls if the outcome may interfere with the story. Rolls become meaningless once their outcome will be evaluated and possibly discarded because they would be inconvenient.
Well said.

>you never played any narrative-driven game
You definitely did not "get my post straight" whatsoever.

Said the guy who's RPG experience boils down to crunch-heavy, combat-oriented games

I've played plenty of rules light games. I've just never played a game that says your characters have plot armor and can't die.

>>Distinctly remember putting barrel up to face and mouth and rapidly fingering the trigger
holy molly, you were an early bloomer, most 4channers don't develop that urge until early 20's

And you never answered any my questions. Whatever, at this point I'll just have to side with the other guy:
(You)

Had a player that was next to the distilled essence of death in the universe, both he and his character had been given multiple hints that it was contained by a magical device (which they had inadvertently tampered with), character starts fucking with said device despite the fact that he can't read any of it, dies... Same player earlier had found an area that was a crossings of dimensions (portals, portals everywhere), accidental walked through one, instead of trying to get back, decides to take drugs (fucking bards am i right?) and proceeds to walk through portals till he ended up in hell, promptly gets captured by a demon.

You can't just borrow someone's jacket and then keep it forever.
That's not how this works.

Anyway,
>>They make the most idiotic move.
Players will always make a stupid choice.
The best you can hope for is that they're basing that stupid choice on an accurate perception of what you described was going on.
Nothings worse than PCs making dumb moves because you didn't explain something clearly an hour ago.