Alright then; about a month ago i made a thread about creating an aussie shitposter character for pathfinder...

alright then; about a month ago i made a thread about creating an aussie shitposter character for pathfinder. waited til late night to hopefully find some straya cunts awake to help out. he's been a lot of fun to use for the first few levels just in rogue; but I decided to add a few levels of shaman so he can have an animal friend to shitpost with. only issue is for the sake of the character i need some aussies to tell me which spells i should choose/how to use them to be a proper bogan cunt. thoughts?

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=vmL72sgVdAQ
australia.gov.au/about-australia/australian-story/austn-humour
youtube.com/watch?v=BvjwnRQAeoU
youtube.com/watch?v=GiHdpAVIHgo
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emu_War
twitter.com/NSFWRedditVideo

Obviously, you need to be able to create cold beer. How can you be a Strayan if you're not shitposting while drinking VB or Four X?

i like it, i already have in canon he asks for VB and bundaberg at any pub we enter

Noice. Are you talking like a proper bogan too? youtube.com/watch?v=vmL72sgVdAQ

absolutely m8. i made him so annoying that the others try to avoid letting me speak entirely. the more slang i can devour the better, i appreciate it.

Excellent. There's one more thing I need you to tell about, just so you can really get into the Australian mindset. This article has an excellent explanation of Australian humour.

australia.gov.au/about-australia/australian-story/austn-humour

this is excellent. i think im doing it fairly well and worthy so far

>Australians can have a very black sense of humour. While in many cultures it is considered poor taste to find humour in difficult circumstances, Australians tend to look for this lighter side. This is perhaps our strongest reference to our brutal past, where humour was a means of coping with a bad situation. A (perhaps unintentional) example of this is the naming of the Harold Holt Memorial Swimming Pool in Melbourne after a Prime Minister who disappeared whilst swimming in the ocean in 1967.

hilarious

>Defending his client, who was charged with baring his buttocks, or 'mooning', at a policeman, O'Sullivan argued that 'mooning was accepted Australian behaviour and should be seen as a national icon'. The prosecutor, Michael Purcell, responded in wowser fashion by asking 'whether bare buttocks should replace the emu and kangaroo on Australia's coat of arms.'

jesus christ i love this country

What's his name?
If you say it's not Bruce, you're wrong.

based on my previous thread, i was told to name him Barry; but insist he is called Bazza

so i texted my gm and said i can pick any australian animal i want based on the spirit animal from the class. right now im thinking the 'slums' type as a shitposting wombat

No, no, man! Get a drop bear!

if i took the drop bear it should be more combat based yeah. bitey cunts.

Bunyip

And you can tell people about drop bears, then tell them they're not real. But the trick here is that the drop bear is actually real. Very real.

fucking hell.. i love it.

too large sadly

Those are some weird looking dogs.

so after a drunk phone call we made a house rule. the shaman has to get his magic with the spirits through his animal; so we made a house rule that he goes into a drunken trance and has a council of shitposting australian animals and he can choose which one he wants for that day. a shitposting roo for charsima bonus, a viscous dropbear for dex, and a wise shitposting platypus for wisdom

expanding on this; the character is now a rogue/shaman australian who essentially has these as pokemon

youtube.com/watch?v=BvjwnRQAeoU

This is Australia's highest form of government

Welcome to the fuckin' doghouse mate

Dire platypus would be pretty terrifying

handy phrases

Beyond the black stump: out past the known borders/ edge of the known

out near Woopwoop: middle of nowhere. equiv of something like 'the sticks

not here to fuck spiders: not here to waste time, here to get the job done

bloody oath: of course, agreement

bugger that: screw it. bugger = screw
cassowary. basically the modern day velociraptor. aggressive as fuck and incredibly dangerous.

...

you can't get more straya than TISM.
youtube.com/watch?v=GiHdpAVIHgo

nice

Good start but what you should really do is have him huff petrol to speak the the aboriginal elders

just two tips: make sure he gives 0 shits about deadly wild life and hates the natives of where ever he goes

What rpg, tho ? If D&D, on what does he even shitposts to begin with ? Magical Veeky Forums ?

Also make the animal a dingo and have it attack random children

how bad would the venom for the male dire platypus be?
Since it can already make people wish to die.

Don't listen to these cunts, get an Emu. You can probably ride the ornery bastard too.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emu_War

Thats good, I was going to say to that it has to be able to be changed to dazza or some shit otherwise you can fuck right off cause we're full.

That animal companion betta be a Sulfur Crested Cockatoo. Their noisy, anoying, ubiquitous, goofy looking, emotive and too smart by half. Also a favorite at bogan petrol stations, screaming 'Kaaarnt" at visitors.

this is a beautiful thread.

Please tell me they've installed bars in the House and Senate chambers.

Where would a goat fit into this?

could be an option im sure. this character is going to be one of my finest creations.

hahaha I can already tell you're an americunt by leaving out FOSTERS

I feel like any time you see a bogan in a wifebeater shouting at a sulfur-crested cockatoo, which happens more often than you might think, you can generally assume the bird is the smarter of the two

you can't see this bump

That's what you think.

“Bundy” or “bundy rum” not Bundaberg.

Australians don’t generally drink fosters, it’s swill we ship overseas.

>One example of his antics was his explanation, upon being caught smuggling alcohol, that he just kept finding liquor floating in Sydney Harbour and had been caught before he could report this to the authorities. The authorities 'believed' this explanation and Billy was free to continue his adventures. Billy Blue later went on to become friends with Governor Macquarie.

This sentence made me laugh incredibly hard, for some reason.

Animal companion should be a platypus since for a while they were basically a living shitpost to the zoological community

i decided the platypus is going to be his main animal, but he has access to a kangaroo and a dropbear as well. we use a lot of house rules

Good. They're goddamn adorabe but also for a good few decades they completely tuned zoology on it's head

adorable as all fuck

Summon a giant kiwi/moa. Fuck pussy Aussie animals

This sentence made me incredibly hard, for some reason.

New Zealand, we know the real reason why you want him to summon a dire sheep.

Guess we found out why it's called kangaroo court.

I thought writing XXXX as four X is a bit of a give away.

I work in parliament house. No bars but a lot of events where people down a lot of drinks

>it's swill we ship overseas
This. Fosters is just Australian Budweiser.
You want to actually drink like an Australian, you grab a VB, Crown, bundy, XXXX, or Strongbow, sit down somewhere, and weep at how you'll never be enough of a cunt to be a true Australian.

Really?
The british houses of parliament has something like 20-odd bars and restaurants.

Hell, most Fosters (like many macrobrews) is even brewed overseas from the country of origin