/cyoag/ - CYOA General

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I like to imagine that you're greeted by a bunch of laid back celestial powers when you die, and they just cycle through your memories and pick out your favorite fantasies and ask which one you'd like to live next.

Other urls found in this thread:

imgur.com/r/makeyourchoice/xwyNW
color.adobe.com
twitter.com/SFWRedditVideos

That would be a pretty neat afterlife if i say so myself.

imgur.com/r/makeyourchoice/xwyNW

I'd like some feedback on this CYOA, especially on things that need to be balanced, reworked, and ideas for new items!

I like to think that I'll see my waifu in the afterlife even if I don't have one

...

>and they just cycle through your memories and pick out your favorite fantasies and ask which one you'd like to live next
One omnipotence, please.

OC I guess

Fresh from the mines

The tiers between Gods need to improve. Make at least each pantheon have at least one deity per tier.

Also the powers for being a literal demigod are really not that powerful, they need to really increase. I don't even want to talk about companions, honestly what the fuck is wrong with Reddit?

Step one: Torrent photoshop

Step two: Read SDA's tutorials

Step three: Remake literally your entire CYOA so that it is aesthetically pleasing

I'm trying to make the powers a bit stronger than what appears in series like PJO. I don't want the demigods to be Wonder Woman level though.

Yeah, i suppose it's time to stop using Pixlr...

don't have a waifu or don't have an afterlife

I think you overnerfed YHWH compared to earlier versions. His half off up to t1 is pretty useless as most of your powers you're going to buy are already discounted by any other deity you choose and being L1 only makes it far weaker when the expensive stuff is all L2.

You have pages that could be combined into 1 page to keep the file size down. Your page sizes are all over the place. Design could be tightened up a bit.

I thought the powers in general were decent, though a few felt wonky and I had little reason or desire to buy companions/items at all as they cut into my own powers. If the companions were free with whatever gods you chose then that would be fine but even half off many were not worth the point cost.

Quests should be more like medusa and offer a variety of rewards outside of "yet more companions". That one was well done and interesting.

Pokemon Personified Plus+ CYOA When?

>BTW here's your daughter k bye

Needs more Lolis and Lewd.

There's already two lolis, a harem mode, and incest though?

Not soon. So you might as well quit with the skeleton posting for now.

>Gods
Too many, unevenly tiered. Condense.

>Powers, gifts
Some neat, others feel like filler for an otherwise empty space.

>Bases
This part's okay.

>Life partners, companions
Awful. Collectively terrible. Everything in these sections completely disrupts the immersive experience you've built up to this point.

>Drawbacks
Fine.

>Quests
Fine.

>End game
You are encouraging power gaming by having the conclusion be foregone. Leaving it at quests (and perhaps stating the rewards for completing said quests, but nothing past that) is perfectly fine. An end game is railroading, whether intentional or not.

never.

>Old Soul

>Stay in the City

>Be Encouraging

>Generous
>Resilient
>Intelligent

>Home for the Homeless

>Martial Arts
>Weapons
>Literature
>Studying

I'm probably destined to die in some sort of revenge killing, but still.

>a kuudere with a heart of gold that's into /k/ shit

Pretty sure you raised my waifu, user.

B-but Italics said it was because a storm knock his internet out! S-surely he'll post it soon, r-right?

If you are making it based in PJO then it would be cool, but you are merging different pantheons with deitys which are on a different level I mean, you even let YHWH in the CYOA.

How could the son of literal God be limited to only lift 30 tons of fly at Mach 2 speed? Even the son of Locki could do that. That's why I mean the powers need to drastically increase or even lock them based on the tier of the god you were created.

I like the general idea tho, it has great potential.

Italics has become a skeleton.

And not the animate type either.

Basic principles of technical writing apply:

The eye likes to follow a left-aligned line down as it reads text from left-to-right. Don't center-align or right-align unless if you know exactly what you are achieving. (Basically never center/right align.)
The eye groups sections together when they are aligned together.
Don't use fancy fonts unless you can guarantee readability does not diminish. (Papyrus is a horrible font.)
Contrast can burn the retinas of your readers. Avoid white on black and black on white. At least use non-pure values, such as (210,210,210) for white and (40,40,40) for black, if you must use those colors.
The above holds especially true for borders. The eye likes to create lines even if they're only suggested. You do not need a pure, bold line to separate out sections. Sometimes even left alignment and appropriate spacing does the trick.
Learn the difference between "serif" and "sans serif."

I highly recommend that you take what you have and completely redo the layout. Start from scratch. As-is, it's a pain to read, and I'm one of the rare ones here who actually bothers to read 10+ page CYOAs.

>imugr
>make your choice
>over complicated tiers
>doesn’t move the player intuitively through decisions

To be real, you have a really great concept here. Lots of good ideas and an obvious will to make it all work. Please stick around here and see how people like SDA and Bliss do things

Ditch the smite art, man. There’s a million amazing god pictures out there without resorting to that Hi Rez abortion

Jesus.. Alright i know i have to get photoshop but what torrent do i use that isn't bullshit or virus infested? Any links?

Also, either learn color theory, or use a premade color palette: color.adobe.com

You are in the business of visually conveying what you have in mind. You can't skimp out on these basic principles.

Waitaminute... Appearance modifiers all cost points--Genderswap is 5, and Godly Attractiveness is 15, Deaging costs 5. But you can completely redesign yourself for 10 points. Huh.

I expect both

Get Adobe Photoshop CS2. It's legally free.

If a torrent has a high number of seeds, chances are it's legit.

Yeah. But he's also given a deadline and went silent for about two months before posting the OC so you really shouldn't just take him at his word on release dates.

>618 KB
are additional targets and area control useless with time stop?

As if I'd do this and not remember the lady's name!

Regardless:

Goddamnit, seriously? I screwed this up and you didn't call me earlier? And what, you don't want to operate as partners!? You're just gonna fk right off and leave me and our daughter alone?!

God... Fuck that bitch... She never did grow the fuck up...

Well. I'm a single dad now... I bet mom and dad are proud of me...

I'm not going to leave her. I can't. I think we are all we have. Kinda patheti... Totally pathetic.

I need a plan:

A Firm Fighter- Something tells me she's gonna turn out a bit like her mom. The good parts at least.

Head to the suburbs- If I gotta pay a bit more to be a proper dad, so be it. I just gotta watch the commute!

Be Encouraging- I'm not a hardass. Like at all. And... I need to be her mother as well as her father. I hope I'm good enough... *These fathering pictures are top-notch.

Traits: Intelligent, Tomboy, Snarky, Generous- She's a bit of a daddy's girl, I mean, she turned out alot like me. Hopefully not too much like me. But good god, the banter. She's the best daughter.

Gentle and Kind- Standard sort of school, either she can grind out AP classes, do extracurriculars, or sorta coast along. I'm not going to push her too hard. Though, enough I hope. I'll try to get her into a state college at least, she's pretty smart after all.

Interests: Politics, Martial Arts, Cooking, Tourism- Hehe, she picked up politics and cooking from me, and the fighting and travel from mom? I'm just glad she's so well balanced! As long as I'm single and have my income as a contractor, I can afford to take her out traveling.

Life plays one last joke. Terminal. 5 months to live... they said 19 weeks ago. I can barely feel anything, sitting in this cold hospice room. The labcoats said there is no treatment, thank god. I don't see myself fighting and killing money to buy time. This isn't life.

Still, my pride and joy visits often, all grown up... I'm so proud of her...

Mom of the fking year.

To the user who made the monster girl CYOA

This CYOA has a lot of potential. Don't get discouraged by a lack of early (you)s on a WIP. If you update this a bit, people will appreciate it.

Also, I noticed what I think are two typos. The troll has a listed pressure of 40 (might have been intended as 4?) and theocracy corruption says it decreases force and not strength.

Also, really good work so far.

Seeing you getting this invested in something I made has made my day, fampai. Thanks a million.

A firm fighter: I suppose all that hot blooded anime and tales of heroism got to her. Takes after her old man in some ways I guess. We'll stay in the suburbs because why not, and I'll encourage her as much as I can.
I'm hoping she'll grow up an Intelligent tomboy who's resilient and generous.
A gentle and kind school will be good, High school's kind of bullshit anyway.
Technology and Veeky Forums stuff and Literature, All those years of reading Discworld and playing RPG's around her until she insisted she get to play finally stuck. Overall, she turned out great, and I couldn't be prouder, hope she still has time for her old man every once in awhile.

user, it's not coming. Italics is gone and random anons have made a game of fucking with you.
I'm sorry.

Italics will deliver.

...

Could you maybe not have a white background. I've always hated white backgrounds. Offwhite maybe if you must?

> dont lewd the baby the cyoa
Well alright then

A shy sort
Suburbs
Encouraging
Intelligent, Adorable, Friendly, Generous
Intensely Academic
Cooking, Literature, Technology

>what do you mean lewd is not a personality trait or a hobby

I tried to put in some background images, but I couldn't get the inner glow of the background (visible around the edges) to show up on them. Layers 'n' shit, that's photoshop for you

Furthermore,

>lewding your own daughter
>your innocent daughter

>refusing to lewd your own daughter and letting her discover sex without your firm, guiding hand

wow you're a garbage dad, grats

Hey, I share no blood with the kid ok.

The intro makes it clear that it is your blood daughter.

You had a one night stand, it took, the mother left it at your doorstep when it became too much for her to handle.

I try a little when I play a good CYOA. I felt a little sad writing as a single dad proud of my daughter. It's fun!

Why are the life partners so shit? Why would you want a bunch of lesbians, actresses whose job it is to pretend to romance, kiss, and fuck other people, and models whose job it is to pose and let other men ogle their bodies? Why would you want that?

I hope Italics delivers and puts all waifufags on suicide watch just like with the kitsunes. It would be glorious.

>Having sex
>Being intimate with another person
IMMERSION RUINED

It happened while you were drunk and you don't remember any of it. All better now?

I immediately go get the kid genetically tested to see if it's mine. What kind of idiot is going to trust some random woman claiming a baby is yours? Even if we presume I slept with someone before this CYOA. People try to pull this shit all the time when they get knocked up and pretend it's the kid of whoever they were dating that was most stable/wealthy.

So anyway, if it turns out not to be mine (most likely)? Turn it in to the government, let them put it in an adoption agency. If it IS mine (extremely unlikely)? I ask my mom to raise it and leave it at her house because I'm not remotely interested.

Sorry, modern politics is overwhelmingly of the opinion that genetics don't matter and you're the dad whether you want to be or not. Enjoy your mulatto child.

I'm not French, user. I'm an American, and we generally avoid sinking that low outside of northern states and california.

...

Nigga I haven't had human interaction for the past 3 years beyond groceries, this bitch is clearly a home invading rapist who targets NEETs.

>american
Don't you have that weirdo legal system where some random court somewhere makes a decision and suddenly everything changes for you? That's even better.

Only the supreme court has jurisdiction of that level.

Someone dumping a baby on your doorstep doesn't make you legally responsible for raising the child unless it is biological yours

Thanks for bringing us OC as much as people want to bitch.

My suggestions:
Make the pages equal size.
I feel like we have too many points.
I would suggest more items to balance out the number of companions.

No. We have local laws, state laws, and federal laws. Federal laws applies to everyone and only the Supreme Court can judge on this matter.

State laws only apply to the entire state or territory a person is in. Local laws apply to the local county/city that you are in.

I can't imagine being in this scenario, but I like the cyoa. Brushing past the confusion of how the hell I suddenly have a daughter, it's time to figure out how the hell I'm going to ensure she has a happy life.

I'm going to pick choices I'd have control over, but probably roll for her own interests and personality, as I don't think it's something I'd have a ton of influence over, or at least, not something I could knowingly manipulate for a desired result. I can try to teach her my own perspective on things, but I can't enforce it to take.

>Initial Personality (4): A Shy Sort.
A little standoffish considering my more emotive and affectionate personality. I'll be concerned I'm bothering her or making her uncomfortable quite a bit, but ultimately I think I can handle shyness pretty well, giving her her own space when I'm not carried away on something, and understanding having anxiety with others, being rather anxious myself.

>Location: Stay in the Suburbs
It's where I live now, and I figure that's where I'd stay. Not a fan of the countryside, but the city is just a bit too much for me. This is just fine for me, and hopefully it's just fine for her too.

>Method of Parenting: Be Encouraging
There's really no other option for me. I don't do aloof or strict very well. I have pretty firm boundaries, sure, but I'm more the "Try to talk and understand their perspective and explain my own and reach an agreement" rather than the "Pushing someone to meet my standards" or "Trying to get them to handle things themselves". I inherited my tendency to dote on people from my mom, I guess.

Since being encouraging gives her an additional trait, I'll roll for three and pick one, as something I tried to give her through my doting-ness.

>Traits (6, 2, 8): Snarky, Intelligent, Resilient, Generous

Apparently I'm rambling too much, more on another post.

Figured Friendly or Generous would be what I'd try to give her as a parent. I'm proud of her intelligence, and can handle banter pretty well. Her resilience is admirable, so I like a lot of how this turned out, and think we'd get along pretty well. Considering her shyness, I figured generosity would ultimately stick more than making her able to make tons of friends. She'll have a smaller, but more valuable social circle I suppose, but it's nice to ensure her snarky, stubborn intelligence is put to good use in helping others.

Now I gotta decide a school...
>Gentle and Kind, leading into Intensely Academic?
I'm not quite sure, to be honest. It'd depend a lot on what she'd want. I'd be inclined to give her a happy and enjoyable school life over one that guarantees to push her to excel, but if she's more than capable of handling it, shouldn't I give her to opportunity to get the best education available. I'd likely give her the Gentle and Kind type of school first, but occasionally ask her about transferring into a tougher, academically focused school, to see if she'd rather have a relaxed time with her friends or pursue her education with more determination. As long as she tries her best and makes friends, I'm fine with how things turn out.

Being so doting didn't give her much time to find her own hobbies, but I tried my best not to push my own interests on her and simply encourage whatever she did like.

>Hobbies (12, 6, 17): Art, Technology, and Tourism.

I'd be especially ecstatic over her love of art. My best friend is an artist, and considering how he's like a brother to me, I imagine he'd be a good resource for her. Considering her skill with computers, maybe she focuses more on digital art? I like to think I'm not terrible with computers myself, but I can't claim to be an expert. I'll be able to at least get a vague understanding of what she's talking about. Definitely gonna have to give her her own computer though, she isn't messing with mine.

Tourism is... not what I expected. A shy girl like her wanting to see the world? I guess I understand. I think seeing the world could be fun but I'm way too content staying at home all day. I'll do my best to try and fund things, and keep an eye out for good opportunities to see new parts of the world. I'd like to enjoy seeing the sights with her if I can, but as long as she takes plenty of pictures and tells me all about her trip I'll be content to let her travel with friends as she gets older.

That's it? Wow I got too into this, kinda didn't notice I was already near the end. This was very fun! She ended up being someone I could easily imagine having a good bond with, but significantly different from myself and what I would have picked without rolling. I'm glad things turned out the way I did, and I hope she lives a long life with great friends, and thinks of me fondly.

>Wow I got too into this, kinda didn't notice I was already near the end.

Yeah, that's parenting for you.

You should hug the people you love more often.

I assure you I hug them all a ton every time I get the chance. Being physcially affectionate and clingy has never been a weakness of mine.

I get what you mean though.

There was a cyoa about a derelict space station and it had several environments, obstacles and potential followers as well as suits and whatnot. Can someome post it if you got it, please?

This CYOA doesn't match the cultural standards my family puts me up to, but I'll give it a shot anyways.

>A Shy Sort
If she's my daughter, she's probably got my caution. That's honestly quite fine for me since it usually results in a much easier to raise child.

>Move to the suburbs
Honestly almost all of the US Midwest cities are just giant suburbs, so I'm already here.

>Be strict
The Asian mindset is that a parent has an unfailing faith that their child can do anything and everything so long as they put in the effort. Pressure is a natural, necessary part of life. I'll always be there to support her as she copes though.

>(4, 5): Rebellious, Pure
Well, that's our family alright. Minus the intelligent, but schooling can fix that.

>Intensely Academic
We move for the school district. There are no exceptions.

>(1, 17, 9, 14, 3): Politics, Martial Arts, Traditional Games, DIY, Tourism
I'm glad I can teach something about all of these.

>Her next path in life must be done alone
Bull. Shit.

No, I find her mother before our daughter grows up and we live together. And no, a parent never stops supporting their child. Ever.

The standard American way ignores the fundamental realities of life. Fuck that shit.

Biggest problem you have right now is in the companion/life partner section. We know who they are in mythology/media, but we do not really get insight into how they would act in our group. Best picture we get is that Athena hates Medusa, but not much else. Maybe a short description of how they contribute to the group outside of their powers, both positively and negatively. Example: Death is a strong ally to have in both battle and affairs with gods, but causes a general sense of unease within your group with her unnatural presence. Others will have a harder time trusting it and you by association. Takes some convincing to join your cause, as it prefers to remain neutral. Also, consider adding a few more male companions, like Perseus, Beowulf, and Gilgamesh.

Life partners seem rather shallow in depth, though I understand what you are shooting for. Maybe you should model them more after mythological figures instead of comic book ones, like Helen of Troy, Calypso, and Penelope to name a few Greek ones. Add more details to them (how do they handle you being a demigod, do they stay in a set place or do they follow you in your travels, how do they express their love, are they somehow involved with what's going on, etc.).

Outside of this, maybe change the End game quests to a simple end goal. "Save the world with the gods, join the monsters and slay the gods, or conquer both and rule the world" would be alright for starting ideas.

Here you go senpai
1/2

I dunno. Kids have to go to college alone, at least.

And American family-rearing comes from European traditions in that regard (specifically northwestern Europe, the east and south preferred large households), which worked pretty well for them over the centuries.

Eh, American family-rearing is actually pretty unusual in that regard. In America, you're expected to leave the house at 18, no questions asked. In NW Europe though, if you were to leave your parents' home, it was only when you had been married and found somewhere to stay. Otherwise it wasn't unusual for older unmarried men and women to live at home until their 30's, or stay with their parents indefinitely without independent housing options.

...

user you are my hero. Im planning on running a tabletop game of this on r20 using a homebrew d20 system im building, but needed this to donit. Thanks!!

Perhaps, but that's only become the norm in America after literally everyone started going off to college and it became part of the expeeeeerieeeence to be in dorms and waste tons of money there.

And historically speaking, NW euros did have nuclear households - they moved out upon marriage, even though that was mostly in their mid-20s. It's only in east and south europe that we saw the massive households that were common there and through asia.

But my familiarity with this ends with the 20th century, as that's where the class I'm taking on the matter has gotten to. So you might be more right in modern terms.

Thank as well, got distracted and user finished for me.

Those last two lines. Fuck.

Well done user.

Thanks, that's what I was going for.

>You will never be told those words

I don't know what to feel. But I know that I must feel.

College, sure, but even as an adult they rely on your support. You can offer your professional network, your advice, and your finances. Why would you want your child to suffer through saving up for a down payment when you can jump start that and have them worry about more pressing matters, like having their own child? Stability is a must for any proper household development.

The "kick them out at 18" idea is only feasible when your country is paved with gold. Do you want the isolation of American elders? Do you want the crippling nation-wide debt of American social security? Extreme independence has some serious social and economic costs that we choose to ignore, even though it's going to doom us if we do nothing.

Should grindark authors be bullied in this universe?

>Implying I wouldn't sell them to organ traffickers for money

There's a reason in these socially and economically unstable times that even Americans are starting to stay at home for longer.

Yes.

At what age? I can't imagine baby organs go for a lot

Only so a noble knight can save them from their demise!

All times except for golden ages are socially and economically unstable to a degree that relying on one's family is a necessity. The last 70 years are a downright aberration and any political truths of it cannot be broadly applied to overall domestic policy.

To a degree, yes. But NW Europe has been having nuclear households for centuries, and they kinda owned the world at one point.

The best solution is likely a middle ground. Have new families be assisted by their predecessors (through structures such as the dowry, wedding gifts, and more lasting forms of support) but then allow them to grow and flourish on their own - increasing the number of families increases the overall competition and dynamism in society, similar to how the free market operates.

You've shown clearly why the extreme individualism of our modern times is a social ill. But the Austrians tried to create one universal house a long time ago - they called it the Hapsburgs, and it ended... Poorly. So as with all things, we must follow Aristotle in search of the golden mean.

It's nice to feel things every once in a while.

Also, posting my daughteru build.
>Personality: A Shy Sort
>Residence: Suburbs
>Parenting style: Encouraging (+1 trait, -1 hobby)
>Traits: Intelligent, resilient, snarky, friendly
>School: Intensely academic
>Hobbies: Studying, technology, debate

This is similar to how I grew up, but with a bit more focus than I had. I hope that she'd be able to make the most of all opportunies that come her way in life, and that she could end up as happy as I have.
There's a very heavy emphasis on school in the early part of life, but if you're able to excel there (resilience is critically important) then the sky is the limit. Success begets success, after all. Starting that chain reaction early and developing good habits to keep it going is important.
Also, the combination of a friendly personality with a passion for debate is an underrated power combo. Being friendly sets you up to have close, rewarding friendships, while having an interest in debate ensures that you don't get treated like a doormat. If you do it right, it also results in you constantly questioning things, and seeking to learn more.

I know just how stifling high standards can be. It's all worth it in the end though, I promise.

I expect both waifus and an afterlife ;)

He said he's unhappy with what bleak fields currently looks like and is going to replace some of the current perks. I hope he gets rid of the hell aspect and makes it more about generic afterlife, so you can combine it with other worlds to get more specific kinds of afterlife.

Interesting to think of how a shy kid and the friendly trait would combine. Either way, an encouraging father would probably be all she would need!

user, the nuclear family didn't often exclude the grandparents like many think.

Yeah, I had to do a bit of thinking to make sure I wasn't going against the spirit of the CYOA by choosing those two together. The way I see it, that combination would probably manifest as the sort of person who has a small group of very close knit friends, and she'd be the center / leader of the small social circle. I think that's a reasonable interpretation, at least.

Who are some grimdark authorfags?

True final version.
I should know. I made it.

I don't think it's best to follow a middle ground. Rather we should be informed by the realities of all of our competitors in the world. Many developing countries have families that support their children. Why are we handicapping our next generation by withholding direct support? We should be in pursuit of everything that makes us competitive (and also moral). The mean is a great target if you want to be average.

As an aside, the Hapsburgs were a lesson for an elite class. That has very little to do with the broader culture, especially when applied to everyday Americans. Population just makes that scenario impossible enough that we can ignore it.

And as for NW European dominance, while it's true nuclear households have been a thing for centuries, it probably wasn't what actually caused the ascent. Rather it was probably the result of economic reforms when people started to relax. You can't emulate the apex structure and expect the ascending economy. And more on that - no NW European power had democracy or liberal values at the time of ascent. To truly succeed, European countries would have to go back to strong authoritarian structures and an absence of worker protections. But of course, that also led to a bunch of reckless, bloody wars. So maybe this isn't a set of values that we can put too much trust in, even if it was powerful for 500 years, unless if we're fine with the occasional flattening of all major cities, rampant genocides, chemical warfare, and nuke usage.

Italics