Shelob wasn't actually a giant evil spider. She was a beautiful human woman who could incidentally be a spider...

Shelob wasn't actually a giant evil spider. She was a beautiful human woman who could incidentally be a spider, and she was just misunderstood.

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My dick had no problem with this.

Return whence you came, /v/ermin!

>She was a beautiful human woman who could incidentally be a spider,
She was a spider who could take a human form to not freak out the undead ranger.

BRAVO
TOLKIEN
BRAVO

TALION!

Seriously?

Everything worth saying about it has been said. Sod off.

Sticking entirely to the bastardized version the OP is referring to, isn't it kind of worse to be able to live as a human, then choose to be a giant spider that eats intelligent creatures
Those games are basically just bad fanfiction.

No, she was a spider monster and she was perfectly understood. She was Sauron's pet cat.

>beautiful

Giving Shelob a human form is weird but I can accept it. Tolkien's description leaves room for the reader interpreting her as a dark spirit rather than a literal monster. Probably not his intention but there's enough ambiguity where you can make it work.

The slutty vampire look is fine. Again, weird, but it doesn't really feel out of place.

It's this "dark mirror of Galadriel" crap the devs pulled where I'm totally fucking lost. I don't know what the hell they were talking about with that. What I'm left with is they wanted some Chaotic Neutral gothy sorceress character for the game and would've included her regardless. Some exec probably told them to make her and Shelob the same person because he figured fans would appreciate the name recognition.

I find the Assassin Creed qte combat style boring and the orc endless combat annoying after killing about 12 wave.

C A N C E R
A
N
C
E
R

This is actually along the lines of my thoughts. I take much less issue with her being a sexy bitch than I take with her actual characterization. She's supposed to be a murderous psychopath who doesn't care about anything that isn't eating, no matter how intelligent she may be otherwise. If she took a human form to trick someone into being her food that wouldn't seem too out of place.

oh god.
there ARE wrong opinions.

Bad CGI Stoya is bad.

Yo I wouldn't have a problem with this if she wasn't ugly

I'mma spoil this polished turd for anyone who cares.....The true ending is Talion walking off into a grassy field, AFTER being shown to be the ring wraith that gets hit by a flaming boulder in the films.

Don't get me started.

God I already emailed the Tolkien society and the Tolkien estate about how angry this shit makes me.

Holy fuck, I didn't know that such levels of being wrong about something existed.

Was this autistic of me?

Here's the email:

>I have a general question regarding copyrights, and Warner Brother's access to Tolkien's copyrighted material. Recently, having milked Peter Jackson's LotR adaptations for all they're worth, Times Warner has produced two video games which are very loosely set in Middle-earth. I won't burden you with the details but to say that the developers of these games failed to make the basest attempt to conform to the legendarium would be an understatement. They're an offense to Tolkien's legacy and art. The developers have stated that their purpose with the games was to make Middle-earth "cool," because Peter Jackson clearly hadn't debased it enough.

>This may seem like a trivial thing to be upset about but I'm concerned that Times Warner might try to push their licensed fanfiction to other media. The failure of every video game film ever produced hasn't stopped Hollywood from trying. Would it be within TW's rights to make this trash into a movie? The prospect of a Middle-earth "extended universe" horrifies me.

This actually keeps me up at night. I'm about one more game away from suicide bombing the developers' studio at this point and I need help.

Does he secretly own a salt mining company and is trying to replant salt?

not very.
Just don't go about bombing people.
I doubt the tolkien estate has any power to do anything with the games.

>gollum is shelobs minion
>shelob is "honest"
i just... cant

She's honest about being a spider monster at least.

which is why she became dark galadriel.

See, I just can't understand this shit. It's just such a giant fucking reach I'm left thinking they don't actually believe this and instead had some search engine bot write it for them.

The greatest story never told. Gollum was also the hero that sacrifice himself to destory the one ring.

Talkien estate has no power over the games and you are far too autistic to enjoy the game in the first place.
I generally enjoy playing it.

>/pol/ reads LotR
alternatively
>Sheev reads Anakin LotR

>I didn't play the game

Okay

Shelob is spiteful bitch who manupulates the fuck out of Talion with and without the ring.
Why?
In this games canon she was with Sauron when the dude that was supposed to be alakahzam or whatever the fuck his name was haven't read the books in years so sue me faggot

Sieges Saurons shit
Sauron fired up the rise cruise
Shelob said what the fuck what are you doing
Sauron told her "Sacrifices must be made."
Sauron goes to "give up" And give alakhazooie a ring
She gets really butthurt murders the siegeing forces
Crawls the fuck away really creepy like skipping frames type of shit all demorphed and whatever yeah
Crawls into a cave morphing into spider form swearing to get revenge because as everyone knows "Fuck Sauron"

And then she proceeds to e.g. a huge bitch and manipilates Talion, briefly tortured ghost dad, and then gets her shit pushed in by Nazgil, And manipulates Talion some more

Whats it like having shit taste tho?

I imagine that this is the review you would get if you had a markov chain chat bot, using only review websites and the LotR book as source input.

Not canon

What is it like having a stick up your ass all day?

Yes
Very

At least he found peace in the very end.
He had a bittersweet ending.

Eh sorta
It was specifically his fault that SoW happens because he didnt want to go back to being really dead at the end of the first game and sorta quilted Ghost Dad into continuing the fight

I bet you brought the lootboxes as well.

It helps me dispense justice better by ignoring those petty things called "emotions"

You mean the stuff that you could get for the in-game currency which you barely need to use and is easy as shit to get?

Well if anybody did they're lazy as hell

He wanted to defeat Sauron and end this madness.
Ghost dad wanted to dominate him and become the new ruler.
Talion realized Ghost Dad was going to be a worse fate for middle earth. But Ghost Dad decided to cheat on him with the elf whore instead and got his ass kicked for it.
Meanwhile Talion held off Sauron for decades before finally succumbing to the ring. He pretty much bought Middle Earth time to rally together in order to becoming a Ghost himself

I know just saying it was his fault

Better, I bought the little ring accessory that you got for pre-ordering

It's fucking small so I have to wear it on my pinkie finger.

According to Tolkiens son you are literally worst than Hitler

I doubt chris gives a shit anymore
he is probably preparing to go to the grey havens.

Veeky Forums I swear to God if you don't stop talking about Fuck Tolkien: The Game and its abortion of a sequel

...

>stupid bullshit
>this will be called deep.
>idiots discussing how sam didn't really defeat shelob on youtube comments sections.

I do it specifically because it makes you mad

Also because it's fun playing Pokemon with Uruk-Hai

>That level 5 Uruk who kills a level 30 because his attacks dazes the 30 and stun locks his shit

The funny thing is he was a sacrfice just so I could get the cooler guy and he was one hot away from dying after missing an attack

Then he stomped a bomb into the other guys mouth

wasn't she a maiar who got corrupted into a spider by her grief at being betrayed by sauron?

>muh britbong orcs are so fun xDDD

>wasn't she a maiar who got corrupted into a spider by her grief at being betrayed by sauron?

One of the reasons I'd isn't actually like Lord of the rings is because everyone talks like there is an accepted locked in stone view of the books and interpretation and characters

And if you don't have that then you should euthanize yourself with a rusty spork

NO SHUT THE FUCK UP JESUS CHRIST

>One of the reasons I'd isn't actually like Lord of the

Should be

>One of the reasons i actually don't like the Lord of The Rings*

Exactly like that

No, people don't like removing huge chunks of pre existing setting and lore to make spider waifus.
Now how about you execute your shit taste and your life with a rusty awl?

I'm going out to buy some lootboxes just because of you.

I meant in the game, geez. Control your autism.

go ahead. Its your cash.
>she was a maiar
>spawn of ungolianth is a maiar.

The thing is Shelob is never presented as good

Talion obsessed over her because he is obsessed with saving Gondor and her visions thinking he can prevent the fall of Minas Ithil
She is literally introduced by torturing his only (un)living ally
She is later revealed to have been manipulating him

You seem really obsessed over her having Tits

My dick welcomes the sfm

>I'm going to waste MY money to spite someone on the internet.

Unfortunately, there are only pre-rendered cutscenes. There is no ingame model of her unfortunately so no sfm.

Sounds like Sony's marketing plan for Ghostbusters! I'm sure it'll be a success and no one will regret this decision at all....

The dick will finds a way

the writer literally compared her directly to galadriel.
The same galadriel that didn't take the ring frodo was willing to give to her.

>Writer
>Creative Vice President
>Writer

He doesn't even have the biggest hat at the studio the fuck are you talking about

he presented the team's vision of the story to a media publication. He is speaking with the entire creative team's voice, and this is what they came up with.

give me names I have death threats to compose

These games are against the will of Allah Eluvitar; suicide bombing these kaffir game devs is a holy act, user.

It is the will of Eru.

ERU WILLS IT

Is it Allah Eluvitar or Eru Allahvitar?

And that presentation is barely in line of what is presented in the final version of the game considering that interview is from months before release

Not once will you go what a "Gorgeous hero Shelob is!"

Allah Eluvitar, and anyone who says otherwise is a filthy infidel.

So long as Warner Bros. has the rights to the ENTIRE DC lineup of characters, the likely-hood of a LotR extended cinematic universe is low (doubly so the critical/public panning of the Hobbit films) so you can rest easy on that front.

Allah Eluvitar for based not!Sunnis
Eru Allahvitar for infidel not!Shias

>it's okay that we were denied a giant spider teaming up with a ranger

You are fucking retarded

Look, how about you just imagine that LotR became public domain, like Sherlock Holmes or something, and that things like this are just the result of that. Because that's basically what's happened except that some people pay money to certain specific other people. It doesn't matter.

So is this going to be a shitposting staple/Tolkien thread starter from now on?

What's the best way to collect the Histories?

Yes because LoTR fans are about as autistic as 40k fans
Have the same temperament too

The cancer has been in Tolkien threads since the first game came out.

I distinctly remember a discussion we were having here about Uruk-hai. Someone interjected to explain the difference between an Uruk-hai and a warchief. I about lost my fucking mind.

i can't even imagine what will actually happen when it becomes public domain

The orcs are unironically the best part of those games, and the only part I could even consider even semi-cannon.

That's more or less what the Tolkien society told me in response to my email.

>Did I ever tell you story of Lord Sauron the Wise?

what did they say?

It's "canon" and no it absolutely fucking isn't you drooling mongoloid cock sucking faggot shit eater.

That it will be public domain eventually and I should just chill my autistic rage.

I won't though. Not ever. The kaffir game devs will suffer.

>orc necromancer
>canon

youtube.com/watch?v=vL6b3dhRsa4

There is no god but Allah Eluvitar, and Mithrandir is his prophet!

kek

BFME 2

>Giving Shelob a human form is weird but I can accept it. Tolkien's description leaves room for the reader interpreting her as a dark spirit rather than a literal monster. Probably not his intention but there's enough ambiguity where you can make it work.

This is objectively false.

The orcs talk too fucking much. Even the mute ones for some reason.

As long as WB don't use any material from the silmarrilion/other writings the Estate has no grounds for dispute.