Your character is helping a woman deliver her baby

If the girl doesn't have shitty genes, it's actualy a good thing

Who are we delivering it to?

Warforged: Is it a 1 or a 0?

To the old gods.

"Lol I shit on the baby."

youtube.com/watch?v=NyLCM7x05tE

>"I fucking hate fetch quests."

"I cast Detect Evil."

"I play Inspire Courage"

No problem.
Always glad to help.
But she need to give me the adress of the customer.
Also, if there is a tip, can i keep it ?

>thy
Nigga that should be a thee. Check thyself lest thou wreck thyself.

This is priceless. Well done.

This.

Luckily, my character has a fuckload of strong alcohol on hand, so this whole thing will be absolutely painless. He'll pass out and won't have to deliver the baby.

Thank God I just looked an entire sack of torn up towels

"The baby should only be 5 pounds. I use Mage Hand to pull it out. You're welcome."

>Pull baby out with rope around legs attached to horse
>Put mother on horse
>Put baby on horse
>Together we ride

>live tweets the birth while the party’s dullahan does all the work

Oh, uh...
Is that supposed to be bleeding?
Where are all the teeth! Oh Ḏ̸͔͔͔̪͙̑ͤ͋͒̍ą̱͈̟̗͉̥̩͇ͩ͗ͩͮr̛̭͉͖̿ͩ͌́̊́ͅk̵̛̗̯̻̖̠̣̙͚̿̋̐̐̌ͭͩ̑̀ ̧̤͖̖ͩ͒̇͗̐ͅG̵̙͓̦̘͖ͤ̇ͯͭơ̮̭̖̣̠̬ͤ̍͘d̖̠̠̗̈́͗̽̒͌̏͐̆͞s̨̛̜̯̬̻̼ͯ̓ͣ̒͆ help me!
How did I get here I am not good with vagonya

>deliver her baby
where to?

>"Things you can say to a vampire but not to your girlfriend."

"Please stop biting me."

My god my god there's so much blood

Jokes on you that already happened. Thank fuck we had someone with points on Medicine.

"Go outside you pale fuck."

I didn't know that my wood would kill you!

You're older than you look.

Implying I wouldn't want my character to be a family man

“Could you not suck on me?”