ERP

>ERP
>Romance in TTRPG
Explain the appeal to me. It appears to be common enough for formalized rulesets at least, but why would you do this?

I get it, these games are played by lonely dorks, but why would these lonely dorks do shit like pretend to be a big cocked barbarian so they can have sex with a fat, zit-ridden teenager who's pretending to be a slutty bisexual half-elf princess?

On top of that, why have rules? Even assuming I want to have sex with Craterface, why would I want formalized rules for this? I don't want to roll for how long I can maintain my erection despite my crippling fear of elvenkind, and I don't want to roll a d100 to see whether or not her hymen ruptures.

Even if we "reel it back" to just an 'ordinary' romance, why would I want it? If I don't want to fuck Craterface's slutty bisexual pinkhaired bunnyeared schoolgirl, I don't want to make out with her either. Or marry her for that matter. Seriously, fantasizing about this shit is nice and if you're really autistic you can give some overarching plot to the sexual shit you think up before going to sleep, but why play it out with your friends?

>Inb4 "b-but there are girls at the table"
1. The only "girl" playing TTRPG is a landwhale called Big Berda who's part of her university's feminist research society, smells like literal garbage and may or may not have a penis that's thicker than yours.
2. She's sitting at the table with all your mates.
3. Even if you are in private, she's hot and she's mentally stable (a mathematical impossibility), why not just actually roleplay if you want to play pretend. You can pretend to be a slutty pink bunnyeared secretary, or you can have your girlfriend dress up as a (hopefully-not-really)slutty not-so-pink ape-eared secretary.

Explain this shit to me. I literally do not get the popularity of romance, ERP and the formalized rules associated with them.

I think it’s fun to play games with loved ones and I can only imagine what playing a game with a gf or bf would be like.

Some people just have kinks like that man.

>I don't like these things, so I can't understand the appeal they might hold for others.
Congrats OP, you're autistic.

ERP is weird, but I don't have anything against two people enjoying it... even if it's not for me. Romance is fine though, why shouldn't characters fall in love? It happens all the time in fiction; so long as it doesn't interfere with the rest of the Game, mind you.

>1. The only "girl" playing TTRPG is a landwhale called Big Berda who's part of her university's feminist research society, smells like literal garbage and may or may not have a penis that's thicker than yours.
>2. She's sitting at the table with all your mates.
>3. Even if you are in private, she's hot and she's mentally stable (a mathematical impossibility), why not just actually roleplay if you want to play pretend. You can pretend to be a slutty pink bunnyeared secretary, or you can have your girlfriend dress up as a (hopefully-not-really)slutty not-so-pink ape-eared secretary.
>ALL
>THESE
>ASSUMPTIONS

You are literally every reason why Veeky Forums is shit now. Because you can't fucking handle other people having fun you don't like.

You're not having sex with them in real life when you ERP, user. Jesus christ. ERPing in person is still faux pas, that should be a text-only thing, but fucking hell are you an idiot.

>Combat
>fighting in a TTRPG
Explain the appeal to me. It appears to be common enough for formalized rulesets at least, but why would you do this?

I get it, these games are played by manlet dorks, but why would these manlet dorks do shit like pretend to be a big muscled barbarian so they can beat up a fat, zit-ridden teenager who's pretending to be a shirt ripping, 7' Adonis?


On top of that, why have rules? Even assuming I want to fight shit with Craterface, why would I want formalized rules for this? I don't want to roll for how long I can maintain my gains despite my crippling fear of cardio, and I don't want to roll a d100 to see whether or not his muscles rupture.

I could go further, but effort.

You seem to fundamentally misunderstand the nature of RPG's as a whole.

anyone got these “erp books” he’s talking about?

I got a homebrew one for 5e D&D, but every time I post it outside of /5eg/ the thread tends to get deleted. Usually because it's a dedicated ERP thread, which the mods are afraid of for some reason. Cooties, I guess.

M8 the only acceptable way to ERP is online, otherwise shit is awkward and friendships are lost.

What about with tulpas

OP here.
BoEF and Blue Magic from D&D 3.5e come to mind, and there's FATAL where you can literally roll for anal circumference?

>but why would these manlet dorks do shit like pretend to be a big muscled barbarian so they can beat up a fat, zit-ridden teenager who's pretending to be a shirt ripping, 7' Adonis?
Except that's literally the point of a TTRPG, you dingus. ERP systems are usually supplements or variant rules slapped on to an already existing system. You're not as clever as you think you are.

You need to find a better group.

>Tulpas
>ERP
>Erotic role playing
>Role playing with imaginary friends
Checks out, carry on xphile.

Romance in game is rarely more than a plot hook or an easy excuse to get a character to care about something. Much like a character having a pet, a family, or any other superfluous in-game social relationship that gives no bonuses.
No one actually cares about it as much as you think they do.

It sounds like you play with some really shitty groups

This may surprise you, but different people enjoy different things.

And that's entirely irrelevant?

>the point of TTRPGs is what I say it is!

>formalized rulesets for romance or ERP
What games actually have this? The only one I've seen was in Pendragon, and that seemed more like a formal fairy-tale courtship thing. You could say fatal I guess, but no-one actually plays that. BoEF was third party and not well regarded.

You may be confusing fap-posting with what actually happens in real games.

Gurps: Social Engineering

But gurps does anything, so that’s a meme.

>Romance
It's a common story element. No reason not to have it, especially if you're playing over text and don't have to look at your grognard buddy while you tell him you love him.

>ERP
If you're pretending to be someone else on the internet, might as well jerk off while you're at it. Does not happen in person to any degree, except maybe with couples or the "slightly attractive but psycho" type of female player.

>Rules for the above
Nobody uses these. If they do, it's for the same reason we use dice for anything else. Sex comes up a lot in their games, and it's fun to throw in a random element.

>whisperintoass.jpg