Something only the Druid would say

>Something only the Druid would say.

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m.youtube.com/watch?v=YexQcXnVSzg
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>I'm not religious but I am spiritual.

>my alignment is True Neutral

> I'll try to seduce the Guard for information.

It's a Guard Dog.

...

>I speak for the trees

>I forgot to take Natural Spell!

>Oh dear there's an axe protruding from your chest. Here, have a berry.

> The one henchman who always makes it awkward during the fight

> The wizard who casts "Weinsteins Grasping Hand"

>Do we have to go into the village? Night in the woods isn't so bad.

>I'm better then a shifter.

Could be the Ranger or Barbarian.

> *Rawwr*

> m.youtube.com/watch?v=YexQcXnVSzg

"OhchristdonthitmeIhavethreedaughterstwosonsandareallycuteniecemydaughtersareshellybrendaandmabelandmysonsaregregandrenaldoandimmakingchickenspaghettiforthemtonight!"

"Ultimate Infestation is fine and Spreading Plague is the anti-agro card we always needed."

Please depart

Digital tg is still tg newfriend

"Hey! Hey Krugette, who does this remind you of?"

>Henchmen is holding a decapitated enemy's head behind his back in such a way that blood pours down between his legs.
>Rest of the party insists now raging Krugette not kill him

Druid, not Canadian.

>Burn their cities to the ground and sow their ashes across the barren soil.

Evil druids are still druids, right?

/pol/ bant feels so much more harsh on non-/pol/ boards

>the unarmed barbarian skilled in grappling

> The unclothed barbarian skilled in grappling

Wait that's a PC

>I cast talk with plants
>What do you mean the plants are only saying "BEES BEES BEES FUCK ME FUCK ME POLLINATE MY STAMEN BEES"

Barbarian would probably say it too though

Hold my honeymead, I need to 'plough' that farm girls fields.
I've always played my druids like chad-bards instead of forest-hermits and my group loves it

>questionable new classes from a third party splatbook

Underwater Basketweaver

Social Justice Warrior

Rule Lawyer

>The trees say fuck off

>Pic Related

>questionable
Pump-a-rum is love!

>Have you considered dueling the lion for control of the pride?

It's not bestiality if we are the same species when the sex started.

Advanced algebra

Shut up and sell more SUVs

Cave explorer

Starving African child

Gaylord

Cock fighter

Sounds like a band name

>Wizard

So we tied the knot last night.

...

Media Studies
Nothing questionable about that

top kek

>things you don't want to hear from a dragonborn

Fus ro dah!

I think I'm going to sneeze...

Does anyone have scale ointment...

> I've made an Egg for breakfast

>I'll be joining your party!

Hoo boy is my master gonna be pissed when he realizes I'm not coming back.

Mom? Dad?

>My magic isn't religious but it is divine.

>Normies go home.

>Hello

>You look good enough to hoard and lie on top of for a century, if you know what I mean.

A moment before the GM asks "are you sure?"

Judiciary of bird Law

"So you're telling me that your plan is collapse the building with everyone still inside of it, grab the civilians and manage to escape, while the bag guys get trapped and crushed?"
>Yes

>We break camp and continue the journey

“I’m gonna lick it.”

>He's too lazy to invent traps for this dungeon.

>It's what my character would do!

>I'm going to write a ten page backstory about my Guardsman for Only War.

>i peek through the keyhole

>Kill jester.

I attack the boss during the monologue.

Truenamer

"I want to inspect the bag of gold left ahead on the road"

>I roll to seduce the dragon

kek

I hit on the GM's GF.

Well now I'm gonna play a Dwarf Druid who's basically the Lorax.
Thanks, user

>last words of a sorcerer

>I want to pay the bandit's toll and proceed to the next village.

>"I cast cone of coldness at the floor"

>Oh deer

>maybe we can reason with the demon

...

>the difference between a drow matriarch and your girlfriend

My girlfriend is pale. Otherwise, not fucking much, thank Mistress.

She won't eat me after sex

Elves exist.

the drow would engage in lewd

number of spiders hiding in their respective bodily orifices

>kenku rogue
thats a thing already

>nice chestpiece

My 'girlfriend's' a pale skinned, white haired dominatrix who has a literal male harem.

That's a master swordsman in the making

>I'm going to dive off the 1,000 ft cliff and assume the form of a goldfish.

"we're gods!"

One's my mom and the other one is my sister.

user get's it.

I've got about as big a chance as fucking one as I do the other

That's because /pol/ is absolute shit nowadays due to all the redditors.

>...and that's when the torches and pitchforks came out.

>The encounter can be bargained with, he wants torches and pitchforks.

>What do you mean kiling the blacksmith made them angry? He wouldn't lower his prices!