Jumpchain CYOA Thread #1868: Fleetwood Mac Edition

For immune system perks even if you are resistant to basically all diseases are you still a carrier that can spread the disease to others if so perks to help?

>Daedelus Class Starship – 600 CP, discount Atlantis Expedition background
>500m in length. Cruiser-Carrier. Though rather smaller and more cramped than the Aurora-class, it's got the advantage of Asgard energy weapons, shields, hyperdrive and beaming technology as well as a railgun point defense system and a sizable hangar. Does not come with nukes, and the hangar bay is empty. I'm sure you'll fix that.

Price and discountability isn't final.

Every day is Angry Day.

>Does not come with nukes
>the hangar bay is empty
Why? Nukes aren't that big a deal in a setting like this and considering it is a carrier not having anything in the hanger is rather crippling. Especially when finding a place to land with such a large ship can be a problem.

What items do you usually keep on your person/quickly accessible?

No day is Angry Day.

Any day is Angry Day.

For some reason jump makers, like certain comic book writers, tend to give nukes a lot more credit than they deserve. In the case of jump makers this results in restricted access.

Because it's easier for me to say "doesn't come with nukes, feel free to get your own" than it does "comes with nukes" and then get asked to detail how many, what yield(s), etc, etc.

Depends on the perk. If you have an awesome immune system or a healing factor making you immune to the disease, the viruses are probably getting obliterated by your enhanced leukocytes or are being erased from existence as the cells they splice into get returned to the 'healthy' state, preventing the virii from multiplying.

If the perk just makes you generically immune to disease, you could fanwank that just prevents symptoms, and bless the worlds with your ever-increasing collection of exotic maladies..

Amry, the item doesn't exactly have a wall of text. I don't think anyone is going to mind you putting in more detail. I think they might mind you being lazy and excluding stuff because it's a pain to find out specifics or just make up reasonable estimates on your own.

Why can't you tell them to look it up? And you did not answer the part about the fighters.

Shouldn't that be 225 meters? Or is the Wiki wrong?

The problem with that is I don't know how many nukes it comes with or what yields they have. The wikia doesn't say either, just that it has them. Anyway, I'm going to put "standard armament".

Wikia says it has 8 to 16 fighters. Reason I didn't put them in is because currently you can buy those for 50 CP each. Consider the math there; balancing costs for this jump is a pain in the ass. Also if you import your companions they get 400 CP to spend, so if you import eight companions and they each buy a Fighter and you've got yourself a squadron.

Crap. Different sites, different figures. Maybe I should leave out the length and people can go by whichever site they think is most 'official'?

Nice to see you're not dead, mate.

A question for Val: can you time travel or teleport using Independent Manifestation? According to the wiki Tiamat can use it to exist everywhere and everywhen.

Es hoy el dia de furia?

The standard armament should be fine as long as it is the standard armament of the fully upgraded Daedelus Class. Gotta have that IX warhead for blowing up hostile stargates.

I suppose that works, gonna need to buy 16 companions and give them each a fighter though to get a full complement.

I think that's just because Tiamat is a Beast.

Currently companion import is 50 CP each or 400 CP for all of them. The latter because I found the idea of the following combo funny:

You Have Your Orders (jumper is now Expedition leader) + Atlantis Team (pink tide) + every Companion buys a starship = screw an expedition, let's colonise the Pegasus Galaxy!

Nobody is on the IRC and I'm somewhat happy with what's here, so could I have some feedback on the current origin perks?
pastebin.com/vSSwi6dL

Yes powers are a little on the freeform side, but short of giving people are restrictive list for Zanpakuto abilities and the like I can't really think of a solution to this that I like.

*a restrictive list
Honestly...
Please ignore grammar errors and typos, I'll fix them later

I was just thinking about you senpai.

Aren't you the guy with the Bane claim? Where are those minimally clothed Twi'leks!

It's even more like a replacement than German Hollow was. How much of this is even unique to the actual quest and not just stuff you wanted from Bleach?

Fragment of Yhwach doesn't make much sense to people unfamiliar with canon.

>Where are those minimally clothed Twi'leks!
They'll strip naked faster if I get good feedback!

Thank you, my little Kouhai

>How much of this is even unique to the actual quest and not just stuff you wanted from Bleach?
The Quest is basically Bleach, with an MC who is an ex-Quincy, part Hollow, part God/Shinigami
She's Ichigo with tits!

As for what's unique, well the inclusion of gods and foreign afterlives, as well as characters from spin-offs I suppose?

Good point, I'll lay things out a bit more

>She's Ichigo with tits!
Tell me more. . .

I throw most my stuff into a xianxia storage ring. Its is so much easier that way and not only caan rings store other rings but you can pull anything out at will. Plus they can be pretty huge inside.

Why is it okay for you to make it then if it's so similar? Maybe it's more different than I'm getting the impression of because from the perks you posted so far, it seems like it's almost exactly the same as base Bleach.

Maybe you could change some of the perks to focus more on those gods and foreign afterlives then? There's a bunch of stuff here that's already in the existing Bleach jump or is in Bleach canon already.

I think the worst part is that it feels like a bunch of the perks were taken from the Bleach jump over on SB.

>you can pull anything out at will
That's what I meant by "quickly accessible". Are there any interesting items in there you use regularly/keep on you just in case, rather than just adding to your collection?

Yeah, I'm using the Beastly Temper scenario. Asking this because the scenario requires to erase all of humanity from history, and I don't really know how the beasts were going to manage that aside from Goetia using some NP.

Could you give us a lot more detail on what makes the Quest sufficiently different from base Bleach? What is the story and setting?

...Like what, exactly? It's been awhile since I've read that jump, but nothing from this one particularly struck me as resembling it, except in possibly the broadest, most generic manner.

Kiara could do it somehow, with her world-class pussy.

Mostly rare materials and enchanted items and a couple small spaceships of saiyan pod design.

I use my fists and magic to fight with.

Here she is!

Well, it stars two hundred years earlier. So that's like saying Morroblivion and Skyrim are the same.

I don't want to make anyone a god, for reasons. From the Hands of Gods is inspired by Kisuke Urahara's creation of the Hōgyoku and the God of the Sword made the Sōkyoku out of a bound god. I'm currently thinking of how to include Valhalla into the Jump as well.

Alrighty... it's set two hundred years earlier, as the MC arrives in Soul Society. She was an ex-Sternritter in life who was killed by Yoruichi and ends up becoming her lieutenant and wife. There's a lot of plotting around Aizen after the two of them are unintentionally Hollowfied, there's a genocidal Arrancar that gets released into Soul Society and the Quincies join the Hollows under Aizen when he finds Silbern and consumes the body of Yhwach. The MCs Zanpakuto is also a Shinto god or something, or at least an aspect of one.

Other dimensions like Godly realms and Valleys of Screams are expanded too.

So why also include so much stuff clearly based on canon? Why have a crafting perk where all the examples are canon artefacts? A planning perk clearly based on Aizen? Multiple unique power perks based on various canon characters like Quincy or Squad Zero members? Why is Shunko a straight perk? It's not even different. it's just Shunko.

If you want to sell this as different, make it actually different. Don't put in a few unique things and then fill the majority with stuff from the canon jump. If you're not able to do that, then obviously this isn't different enough to be a jump.

Sure would be nice to see more of that difference in the actual jump then. Not really getting the idea of not including some of the few things that make your setting not a replacement.

If Morroblivion put in a perk for being a dragonborn, I'd call it out too.

>So why also include so much stuff clearly based on canon?
It was written as a /qst/ by a pretty dedicated Kubo fan

>Why have a crafting perk where all the examples are canon artefacts?
Because a lot of the quest is focused around these artifacts and the gods they're made

>A planning perk clearly based on Aizen?
Because Gin, the MC, Aizen and Kiskuke are all pretty present in the main story? It fits

>Multiple unique power perks based on various canon characters like Quincy or Squad Zero members?
Squad Zero and the Quincy also play are massive role in this story

>Why is Shunko a straight perk?
It's a dangerous Kido technique that took its practitioners a century to develop. The MC uses Shunko a lot in combat, with numerous different applications of it.

The different manifestation of Hollow powers and the way they're manifested in relation to your Zan seems pretty different. Using gods that aren't the Soul Kings or his children is fairly unique too. I felt it was unique enough to be considered distinct, but if you guys really don't think so I can give it up.

That's fucking twice now!
*a massive role, not "are massive"

Okay I get that these things play a big role in this story but they also play a big role in the CANON story. Your jump shouldn't need to rely almost entirely on what we already have. It's not different enough for it's own jump if it has to do that. If it's mostly based on canon characters and groups with their canon abilities, personalities and actions....why is it being made into an entirely new jump?

All of your defences don't address this. You just say that the Quest focuses on those things. It needs to focus on new things, on OC things. Look at the German Hollow Quest jump for example of how a Bleach Quest can do this.

FUA, you need more differences. One or two things isn't enough when you have so many things that are taken no difference from the original series. You're refusing to put in more stuff to make it different or change what is the same.

Oh they're massive all right.

Maybe you should change some of the perks so it's not so directly taking from Bleach canon story? If it is different, put in the different stuff as your perks. Showcase that difference instead of expecting people to take at face value that your jump is different when they can't see any difference. You're not making a stand alone thing here. You're making a fanfiction jump. You need to justify the difference, not expect people to accept them. Something fitting in your jump isn't going to matter if almost everything that fits for your thing also fits for the actual jump we already have.

Fine, fine. I'll take another crack at aspects of it, I see the point you and are making. Maybe I should cut the perk trees down and focus on those differences. If that doesn't work, I'll just drop it and go back to another Jump when I can.

You say that when we have 5 dragonball jumps with hardly any differences.

Three of those Dragonball jumps are of actually separate and existing properties. The other two are fan comics where the jumps focus mostly on the new stuff. At least Multiverse does, AF does leave something to be desired now that we have a GT jump.

In that one's defense, the GT Jump came after. AF was a lot cooler when it was the only way to get into the GT Universe, even if you'd missed all the plot by then.

Those are different. Multiverse has you fight in a tournament, dbz has you fighting cell in a tournament, dragonball is a fight with frieza after a tournament, get is just a fight and af is gt but bigger.

AF wasn't the best even when it came out. Coming out just a few days after Multiverse and having a bunch of Suspiciously Similar yet upgraded perks to the stuff Multiverse had always put me off it.

There's no quota for amount of differences a jump needs to meet. And you seem to be ignoring that the differences which are present significantly alter the metaphysics of the setting (more afterlives) and cover a time period in canon that wasn't really that explored (taking place 200 years before the start of canon, covering events that weren't fleshed out in canon and are thus pretty much OC). It also seems silly to expect someone not to include major abilities aspects from the canon setting if they play a major role in this as well, just because? For reasons, I suppose? Because for some reason it has to 100% differentiate itself from canon despite us not applying these standards to other such jumps?

Here's tonight's WIP of the Stargate Atlantis jump for review / constructive criticism. I might stay up for a fair bit longer or I might flake early.

So it's okay to make a fanfiction jump with no difference from the existing jump of that setting and have it be accepted?

Most people aren't saying that the setting itself isn't different, just that the perks he's made for the jump so far are not different. Yes, all that stuff you've said is different. But his jump does not reflect that stuff. There are only a few perks that are new and otherwise the great majority of perks here are already existing in canon.

It's okay to include stuff that existed in canon. It's not okay to do so when you have almost nothing else new on offer. I and at least one other have suggested that he put more of the new stuff into his perks to fix this, which you seem to have ignored.

What about: pastebin.com/4LWZi9VB?
I cut things out that kinda crossover with current Jumps, I might put in a general perk for Quincy Reishi manipulation.

The thing is, that needs to be represented in the Jump and not just in the world itself, and there were a lot of straight Bleach options yet not much going on with the new things by comparison. If there's significant differences in plot, powers, metaphysics and such, there should be plenty of material to base new perks, items, backgrounds and so on, on.

That looks almost all better, except for the Scientist origin. I'm not sure whether Kido Creator counts but Onmitsukido and the artefact creator feel a bit much. It's not a deal breaker but I think it'd be better if they could be turned into something new.

Otherwise it looks a lot better and generally the stuff that is similar has examples that I think are drawn from the Quest?

Yeah, you're right. I was probably just reading too much into comments like this which at the time seemed like they were questioning the jump's very right to exist.

I generally agree with that mindset.

>No more starship discounts.
Jumper sad.

The artifact creations a pretty big deal in the /qst/, but I could nerf it to make you make you less experienced. What's your issue with Onmitsukidō?

Yeah. I'm sad about that too. Vaguely contemplating whether to convert the Ancient City Ship purchase into a general discount called Ten Thousand Years Of Dirt. Thoughts?

Just that it's the same as in canon.

Have a optional drawback where the city is out of power and you need to make it work like thw alternate history sg team did.

I don't really understand what you just said.

Shinreishi has never been mentioned in canon, would you prefer it if I named different artifacts from those particular ones?

>Pegasus Aesthetics
Do you choose one per purchase, or do you gain all three?

I guess there's no real problem with it being there when most of the canon stuff has been removed.

What do you do when you are alone and no one is looking?

You can currently buy a fully-kitted out City Ship for 1000 or a barebones City Ship buried under thousands of years of dirt for 500. I'm wondering whether to make that 50% off price difference available for all ships in exchange for the same problem.

You gain all three.

What jumps do we have that are based in the 18th and 19th centuries? My jumper has only really been as far back as the 1950's and as far forward as 2080. I want to start doing more medieval jumps but want to ease them into it slowly. Stuff with magi-tech would also be welcome as they haven't seen much if any of that yet.

Why should it all be removed? Its part of this story too. Like how morrowind and skyrim have a lot in common.

I never understand why people like you keep trying to compare fanfiction jumps against existing, actual settings. You do realise that fanfiction jumps have a need to prove themselves different so we don't just get inundated with replacements, whereas actual official settings don't have that worry?

You mean the drawback "Atlantis Primer"?

Doesn't that make the ship essentially worthless unless as a platform for building on?

I wish you just brought back the original discounts.

I nevee understand people like you who say a fanfiction cannot have anything that is in the canon setting. That is so fucking stupid when we already have jumps both from fanfictions and canon that use 90% of the same stuff in both, like all the dragonballs, they are all about ki, training, and some science perks from capsule corp. They are almost all the same perks and the main differences is in the race options.

What you are asking for is somethjng like saying if dragonball af comes out it cannot have any ki or fighting perks at all because those are canon things.

>never understand why people like you keep trying to compare fanfiction jumps against existing, actual settings

Because we have precedent for both numbnuts.

Because it's already in the normal Bleach jump. There's no valid reason for this thinly veiled replacement to even exist if the maker can't even pretend to produce real content for us. Anything that's already offered in the normal Bleach jump must be absent in this one, regardless of whether or not those things are massive parts of the Quests story, because otherwise it's nothing other then a copy paste. The Quest jump shouldn't even offer Zampakuto in my opinion, or the option to be any of the Bleach associated races.

How so?

The original discounts were too piecemeal for my liking. If you can suggest an alternative...?

Victoria II and Europe Universalis?

Even if it is already in the normal jump the 200 year time gap is enough for a jump. We have all the dbz jumps for this exact reason.

Just because there are stupid precedents doesn't mean they aren't stupid.

You're an idiot. People are saying almost the opposite of what you are and you're outright lying to try to support your point. Multiple people in this argument have said that they're okay with the jump having canon things, they just don't want it to be almost entirely canon things.

Your examples, ignoring that you yet again try and use official settings as evidence for fanfiction settings, doesn't work because the dragonball fanfiction jumps DO include stuff different from the originals. They don't rely mostly on existing stuff. They may include some of the same stuff but they have a lot of new stuff too. That is what this Bleach jump did not have at the start, where it was mostly old stuff with a little new stuff.

>What you are asking for is somethjng like saying if dragonball af comes out it cannot have any ki or fighting perks at all because those are canon things.
I mean, yeah. AF shouldn't have had those things if it wanted to be a good jump, but instead it went with trying to be a cheap power grab with all the same stuff as the other DB jumps.