Wat do?

What's the matter user? Didn't buy enough lootboxes?

wtf that horse

>this cuck black player losing all his knights for a grand total of no fucking control

lichess.org/szKzM3J6

black resigned after being complete shit, someone else play me

>the black guy
holy shit /v/ bad at chess

>that white player
holy shit /v/ good at chess

i don't get the finish, wasn't it just a check?

Nevermind, it was a check.

> knight sacs for mate

lichess.org/9FSJH6XL

im playing black this time, give white to the user to challenge me

How can I get in on this?

>chess has all these great nicknames for different openings and strategies
>makes every other card game and board game sound like children's shit in comparison when chess players talk about "Tschofski's Peramble" or "The Knight's Stolen Kiss".
I'm shit at chess, but I still want to feel intelligent REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>tfw to dumb for chess

HOLY SHIT OP SPOILERS!!

I'm not there yet ;_;

also bishop is my waifu

You don't have to be intelligent to play chess

...

Block his path

I lost to a girl in school championship and never touched them again.
That's what I'm telling myself, but still feel like a brainlet.

this image always makes me smile

>tfw too shy to ERP with chess-kun while he schools me

Intelligence isn't your knowledge, but your ability to learn. You are not stupid, you just haven't learned yet. Keep playing, keep learning, and it will be you who will be making others feel like brainlets.

Tell your opponent to play e4 like a real man

anyone want to play me?

Make a game and post it.

Post your
>Team
Black
>Main
Tower
>Worst matchup
Bishop
FUCK Bishops, they're basically braindead towers, the fact that you can use them from turn 2 is also bullshit.

2 Rooks vs 2 Rooks games are always fascinating

you were fun to play with user

also, game im currently in
white is p-good

Shoulda put the king in check with the rook

lichess.org/38DWCeGP

playing black again, anyone can play

That move with a pawn in the end was weird.

>
lichess.org/DPJXPvxLYt06

>that self mate

I've not played chess, can someone care to explain the point of this move?

lichess.org/JOm3ycvji4yy

I'm pretty good at chess when we get to the mid game but the first 3 moves always kill me so I just do random stuff.

I think it's basically to pass a turn.

That was when they should have done this

lichess.org/CizOE5UW

Let's play oniichan~

>implying black doesn't just move king down to help pen in the king, safe behind his pawn
>implying it wasn't a desperate attempt to stave off the one turn mate to a two turn mate
"Fuck it, I'll take a cunt pawn with me."

that would have just set up a better mating position for the black king

I'm the opposite, I tend to have a disadvantage in mid game always.

>entering the most intimidating thread on /v/

Real shit scares me.

No need to butthurt, it was a decent competition.

this guy gets it

Came here to post this

>learning to play against some bots
>pretty early in the game the bot manages to get their queen behind my lines and destroys half my non pawn pieces
Feels bad man

>Fuck it, I'll take a cunt pawn with me
thanks, suddenly everything makes sense

lichess.org/SFK7r05k
white resigned, going back to random sides

come play! its fun for both sides

>1 ... A5
my socks

>too slow to get in
Do I need to sign up?

no its just whoever gets in fastest

idk man black is playing oddly

Maybe I'll get in the next one so I can get my shit stomped.

Switch to a superior game.

On lichess.org, click on "play a friend"

Change the time to "real time" and select your time (5 minutes with 5 second increment seems to be popular). Choose your color (or click random). It'll create a link for you to post in this thread, and someone will click on it to challenge you.

No signup needed.

>who needs a center if you can just push your A and B pawns
I feel bad for black, this can only end poorly

couple years ago I played against a friend and our first (and last) game went like this:
>me (white) - pawn like in OP
>him - pawn c7 -> c6
>me - queen e1 -> a5
>checkmate
never played chess after that

Nah, he's just doing some hypermodern shit.

Thanks, user.
lichess.org/rtf93YGA
Someone come make me feel like more of a brainlet.

BLACKED

...

what the fuck is happening

Sounds like you never learned to play chess at all.

I didn't, it was pure luck that he was even worse

Pawn to f5

knock those white pieces over with your black dick

Oops miss click. Good game oniichan!

damn dude this is like watching 2 autistic kids fighting

What about 4 player chess?

lichess.org/3VFxsoMk

What was the miss click/? when you moved a piece on the other side of the board then got slammed?

rip black, died of age

I've got no fucken idea what I'm doing.

lichess.org/ileECfLJ

i'll play as long as people keep coming in, the games are fun even if im getting new players

It's too easy to team against a one player.

No I mean the reply. There were no misclicks during the game. I just got fucked haha

I used to know QGA too. Twas embarrassing

So what happens when one player gets mated? Do you remove all of that player's pieces, and enjoy the ensuing chaos?

Thank you for this, my friend.

Defend Kang Wewuz against the Barbaryan Hordes!

>lichess.org/3VFxsoMk
can I play the winner?

When will they patch the stupid game already?

On chess.com, FFA games use a point system based on captures. Checkmate is worth 20 points, bishops are worth 5, promoted pieces are 1, and every other piece gives it's normal point value.

lichess.org/VEAE1MOM

Thanks for fucking me up horrifically, Black.

No black, that's not how you play the Alekhine.

the fide laws get patched every few years
the changes aren't that dramatic tho of course

nigga i gave you my queen
that was actually in your favor

>user dies to the cheese strat every 3rd grader does

It was the most retarded strategy i ever saw and yet i got royally fucked

the fuck is this, why am I playing with myself?

I really don't see how.
I'm stupid as fuck.