THAT GUY: Tantrum Edition

What is the biggest tantrum you've ever seen a player throw? Have you ever seen someone react negatively to something that happened in-game?

General story-time thread. Gather around, folks. Listen and be astounded by stinky BO tales and social incompetence!

Also, please share any stories of general Autism and "That Guy-ism"

Had a bottle of Italian dressing thrown at me. I don't know where he got it from; we didn't have any at the house so the only explanation is that he brought a fucking bottle of Italian dressing with him in his backpack.

Why?

>college dorm room
>4 laptops on a tiny table
>first session
>GM is not horrible, keeps first two encounters engaging
>Samurai Jack stand-in player only pays attention after he hears it is his turn in combat
>literally a samurai character named Jack, unfortunately
>by fourth encounter GM is tired of his shit
>politely asks him to pay attention
>yeah bro I am
>GM closes Jack's laptop while he is zoned out on his phone
>headphone cable prevents full closure
>Jack screeches at him for destroying his screen despite a lack of damage
>frothily threatens to destroy GM's computer
>after a few failed attempts to calm him, slams GM's computer closed and storms off
>continue playing for 2 more awkward hours

It's a longer story than I care to type out right now man but here's a basic breakdown

Basic context: girlfriend's mother and stepfather want to go to a concert and bribe us to more or less babysit her younger brother for the weekend. He's 14 and is a good kid, but is 14. His friends are fairly decent too, except for his THAT GUY friend. He's also not a bad kid, he's just the epitome of THAT GUY. They get into D&D because of Stranger Things, but they are all clueless. Girlfriend bribes me further, says if I DM for them for just one session it'll be worth it. Fine, I'll jot some notes down and just make it up as I go. Can't be that hard, right?

>Most basic campaign I can think of, they meet in a tavern and get a quest from the bartender to find a lost caravan. Insert some bandits and a few orcs, kill them, find the goods, back to the bar, bada bing bada boom. Remember they're 14 and their only knowledge of D&D is strictly because of Stranger Things.
>Homebrew the SHIT out of everything to boil it down for them so that there's only 5 stats, feats etc are just MMO style abilities, and the only rolls were either 1d6 or 1d20. I arbitrarily make up the outcomes as we go. It works surprisingly well actually.
>THAT GUY has to immediately try and derail it by trying to kill the shop keep and everyone in the tavern. Group says no fuck you.
>Get to the caravan, oh no bandits! THAT GUY wants to rape the bandits. Group again says no fuck you.
>On the way back, oh no orcs! THAT GUY wants to rape the fucking orcs now. Group, once again, says no fuck you.
>Aside from these outbursts it's going well actually, they're really into it and I can see my girl giving me the "you're about to see GOD" look

Buh ok you got me going, continuing in next post

>Start actually getting kinda into this. Their characters are surprisingly decent. No mary sues, none of them are animu tier edgelords.
>Except for THAT GUY who is a vampire elf viking? Little bro says it's fine just go with it.
>Realize it's been like 3 hours and is almost 11pm. Alright kids back to the tavern, I'll drive the friends home while the lady cleans up. All in all a successful night...
>Until THAT GUY wants to keep going.
>Long winded puberty induced fight between 4 very awkward teenagers ensues. Just kinda sitting there making sure they don't spill anything and that none of the plates or glassware get knocked off the table.
>And then I feel an impact, and something wet running down the side of my head.
>On the floor is a bottle of Italian dressing.
>THAT GUY sperged out so hard that he produced and then threw with all of his might a half empty bottle of Italian dressing with the intention of hitting little bro with it, but missed by a mile and hit me at point blank.
>Just keep repeating to myself that I was a teenager once, I did dumb shit too. Be the good example for the next generation. Don't do something to screw this up when you're about to get rocked, up until now this was a pretty fun night.
>Just quietly stand up, get a few paper towels, wipe myself off, then grab the kid's collar and basically drag him to the front door.
>Turn around and just look at little bro and his friends, nod in the direction.
>Completely silent car ride with four teenagers and bits of dried onion in my hair.
>Silent ride back.
>Little bro is about to apologize profusely, just quietly tell him to not worry about it. We were all emotional and had stupid outbursts when we were that age, the kid is probably very embarrassed too. Try not to give him too much shit about on Monday at school. Quick fist bump and then head upstairs.
>Girlfriend immediately starts laughing at the top of her lungs as she picks out more little bits of Italian dressing out of my hair

And that's basically it. Did end up DMing for them for a few more sessions until they decided they did not need training wheels anymore. Got little bro a few rule books and some starter kits for his birthday and they've been really into it for about a year now. THAT GUY did end up apologizing and has actually come around to be pretty tolerable, if not still eccentric.

I still don't know where the bottle came from though.

The worst ever temper tantrum I got was over 3.5 stupiddle. The guy who did it was normally pretty quiet too. I wouldn't call him a good player, but I didn't associate him with hardcore That Guying; he was the sort that was quiet, only really spoke if he had a tactical recommendation, and seemed to think the game was solely about killing things, getting XP, and better gear so they could kill more and bigger things.

>But playing a rather mundane, stupid adventure.
>Players defeat the monsters, huzzah.
>Wasn't planning on using the locations again or anything, was just a short adventure, so as I usually did, now that it was too late for them to do anything about it, I let the players look at some of my notes, see the things that they did right and wrong.
>And then this guy sees this one random fluff character I scribbled, that they barely interacted with in the game.
>He was a guy at the royal court, who was a !not Kasparov at a !not chess like boardgame.
>His entire entry was a name, his age of 42, a note that he was a level 1 commoner with 10 in every stat, and a +35 at playing this board game. That's it.
>Goes red in the face, starts jumping up and down and pounded the LGS table so hard that he cracked it in one place about how it's FUCKING BULLSHIT! and that I'M A FILTHY FUCKING CHEATER!
>Because apparently deciding not to build a throwaway NPC along the same lines that a PC is made is some kind of heresy.

He apologized afterwards for it, which I suspect had more to do with the game store manager insisting for him to be allowed back than any actual remorse, but I haven't let him in my games again. Still see him around every so often.

>Running Pathfinder for a group of people I know from another forum
>That Guy is playing a minmaxed Zen Archer
>Gets six attacks per round while other party members have one or two, always full attacks because he's attacking from range and has a feat that lets him ignore cover
>Also has an ability called Perfect Strike, which he uses to roll all his attacks twice and take the higher result
>Because of this he never misses and gets very frequent crits
>He's destroying every encounter before the enemies or other players get to do anything
>Doesn't do anything outside combat, gets mad when other players try to roleplay
>Constantly seeking higher numbers, pressured the wizard into making boots of speed for him before even making his own equipment
>Blew up and almost ragequit when he tried to talk a new player out of making a damage character and I told him he doesn't have to be the only one doing damage
>Eventually I get tired of him ruining every encounter, tell him I'm banning Zen Archers and he can rebuild his character as a different class
>He throws a huge shitfit, starts a thread on the forum revealing our private messages, talking about how I'm such a shitty GM and calling me a psychopath for not letting him have his way in a game of make believe
>Still hates me almost a year later
Later I found out that Perfect Strike is only supposed to apply to one attack per round, he was using all of them. When I called him out on cheating, he said it was my fault for not catching him.

You got a good tale out of it and they all seemed to turn out pretty good, so good end!
Thanks for the silly tale!

Things were so much better in the old days when it came to this sort of thing. This whole thing about the GM having to follow the letter of rules or he's cheating seems to have absolutely exploded after 3e was introduced, and it's never gone away. That's not to say that there haven't always been people like that, but a dramatically larger percentage of people are dramatically more hardcore about it now than in the days of yore.

>Playing Rifts power campaign.
>Great DM house rules for playability all friends
>One guy no one like invites himself to play.
>Skinny manlet long greasy hair and black teeth.
>Main group committing prison break including, including Godling, Cosmoknight, Splicers dread guard, Great Horned Dragon, and a whole bunch of power armors
>Guy has very beefy power armor with Naruni shields and whole bunch of fire power.
>Everyone is shooting and getting hit except him he is dodging instead if shooting
>Me and another player call him out on it telling him to shoot and stop hiding.
>Runs to kitchen and starts crying hides under sink.
>MFW

>he said it was my fault for not catching him
haha holy shit

>be forever DM
>when will I escape this hell
>oh "cool player" wants to Dm next game, yay
>but what about "problem player" I should try to keep him from scaring cool player off DMing.
>finish my character first, problem guy finishes second, wants to compare notes.
> help "not important to story guy" with his then talk with problem player
>he said he was playing a fighter.
>but its a build that does no fighter things except deal damage
>I had already built a mage and other guy built a rogue based on problems's provided info
>point out issues to problem, he was the one who asked for notes.
>problem FLIPS SHIT gets mad in chat with me

at that point i just logged off and told cool player what happened. now i'm probably doomed to dm forever just cus this fucker asked for notes and i wanted to avoid putting more work on cool guy's plate.

FUCK

What?
Can someone translate this into English?

All from the same player:
>threw one of those plastic boxes of dice across the room because another player wouldn't lend him some of said dice
>rage-quitted campaign when he dropped below 0 hp one time because we had joked about killing his character (this one was partially our fault)
>went on a 2 hour rant when we had to run away at level 1 about how we were all fucking retarded (loud, too)
>when his brother DMed he stopped every 2 minutes to make an OoC comment telling his brother to stop being a jackass
>autistic screeching over his character falling into a trap when he insisted on going first into territory of bandits known for traps
>when another character didn't want to go on an adventure he basically yelled at that player for trying to ruin the campaign to the point where we had to tell him to calm the fuck down

I'm more impressed that you didn't immediately call bullshit on Perfect Strike and look up the exact wording.

Sometimes it's strange when your own experiences differ so greatly from things on Veeky Forums.
We had a girl in our group who accidentally had written and used a 3rd level spell at level 4 on her sheet, DM didn't notice until i texted him during the encounter. We all just let it go, and she got embarrassed and apologized in the next session, when we hit 5 and she saw she got 3rd level spells.

>Had this one player that was persistently problematic
>I this one campaign, warning all of the players that it was going to be difficult and that they should be particularly careful in all encounters
>They went through this one region and we're immediately tipped off that it was a dangerous area
>Problem guy decides he's going to "scout ahead".
>Everyone, including myself, warns him, saying that there are signs that this area is dangerous for a low level character
>He goes off anyway.
>I roll a random encounter
>He gets overhwhelmed by a pack of wolves, the others can only hear his screams in the distance
>Player gets up and acts like it's somehow my fault. He gets this upset look on his face and starts whining like a literal child.
>He eventually storms outside
After about thirty minutes, we take a break and I see him outside store
>He's smoking a cigarette and is putting on a facade of "thinking" and says, "Man, I gotta think of a way to bring him back..."
>When I tell him to just make a new character, he sits at the table with an angry look on his face and just folds his arms for the rest of the night.

I once had a DM tell me I can use 1 spell from every level. I of course did as he told even though it didn't seem like that.

He then called me out for cheating after I used of the the spells he told me I had and could use. I suggested we just rectcon the mistake but he said that, and myself where out of line....

You did well user. You had fun with a group of teenagers: that is much more than I would ever be able to stomach.

Props to you.

Now that's a very grown up way to handle things. It's almost bizarre

Good shit though

Shit man, he's a massive turbo oversperg but you should have known that even Pathfinder doesn't let you use something like Perfect Strike on every attack per round

Goddamn what an autist though, I'm sorry you had to suffer

Not exactly in a game, but close.
>Cooperatively creating a setting for a future game at a BPB forum.
>GM points out that setting elements proposed by one of the players really don't fit the core concept.
>The player throws a huge fit
>Forbids everyone from ever using any of the ideas they provided for the setting.
>And later somehow manages to delete not only all their posts in the thread, but also any traces they ever posted there, which AFAIK would require petitioning an admin.

The fuck? Did he leave? How long did he cry under the sink? Is he still there?

Maybe he like Italian Dressing.

>Be the good example for the next generation

No this is where you take him upstairs and show him why jokes about rape aren't funny.

>someone gets a lenient let-off from DM (female)
>someone makes a joke about them blowing the DM
>DM launches into an intensive and awkward enthusiastic fifteen minute discussion about whether it's possible to blow a woman
>finishes with "but enough of this sex talk"
>five minutes later we have to descend into a pit by surfing on spiderwebs
>couple of goblins there who are doing it already, barter for their help
>"the goblins grease you up"
>someone sniggers
>DM immediately starts packing her bags
>"if you guys aren't going to take this seriously and are going to inject sex jokes into everything then I don't know why I'm bothering, I'm going home, you can all fuck off"

We staged a coup about a month later cause she was a psycho

>We sexually harassed our GM repeatedly and wondered why our DM refused to play with us.

>bribe us to more or less babysit her younger brother for the weekend.
It's not bribe. You are just a GM whore.

>be 16
>bunch of friends playing campaign
>sm is somewhat weird an autistic, but decent guy that unfortunately likes mlp
>one guy there used to play in another group dm was a player in
>he doesnt get along that well with the rest
>dm makes a mlp encounter
>cringe internally and play it out
>other guy gets insanely mad, rages about how he made a joke of his hobby, leaves and never comes back
> nothing of value lost
i have more stories if people are interested

>dm makes mlp encounter
Elaborate. Either it's really bad or really good
speaking from experience

>someone makes a single joke
>she makes a massive enthusiastic and non-angry deal about it
>she says something really weird
>someone laughs
>she throws a shitfit
>"you sexually harassed her repeatedly"

She sexually harassed one of the women in the group (kissing her, stroking her face, sniffing her hair) and ranted against the international members of the group, but if you still wanna make us look like the bad guys, go ahead.

can't remember it that well anymore, i have to ask the dm if he can remember it well

anyway another story
>one of our first sessions
>we had some encounter already and always got loot
>encounter a choker and kill it, but dont get loot
>we search for loot, but dont find anything
>want to move on, but one guy insists there absolutely MUST be loot here
>he says "I put my hand in the chokers ass and search it for loot"
>everybody goes wtf and dm is like "are you sure ?"
>he insists on it and dm allows him to anally rape a dead choker
>we still dont get loot, later he admits how ridicolous his actions were
he actually was one of the better players of the game though

>his playgroup doesn't have a sink goblin
Being novice is completely okay, but there's some things you just can't do without. Sort yourself out, user.

Dm here.
If I remember correctly the encounter consisted of the 6 main characters as ponies and they were mad because the PCs killed their Abyssal Greater Basilisk servant 'Spike' (another mlp character).
I don't remember the encounter as particularly special apart from the fact that the enemies were horses.
Anyways, there was another player in the party who at first had a strong dislike for MLP but knowing him I got him to watch an episode and he ended up liking it.
Unfortunately that guy is even cringier than me and his reactions are what I think also upset the one who left.
Or maybe he just thought that I was aggressively trying to push the series.

More like
"You search the choker, it doesn't have any loot."
>"Come on, there has to be loot."
>"I search the choker more thoroughly."
"You reach deep inside the choker's asshole but you still don't find anything."

I had a session where That Guy got so pissed that he ended up getting tasered by campus police.

Story. Now.

Not much to tell really. It was back in community college, we used the club meeting room for our D&D sessions. It was a big room and several groups could use it at once without it getting too crowded, for any sort of group activity you could think of.

>Pathfinder campaign with a pick-up group, DM recruited by posting signs up around campus
>have a pretty standard group, collection of nerdy college guys, DM is an older man going back to college to get a degree
>That Guy seems pretty reasonable at first, wants to play a paladin, but has a habit of getting really angry at the drop of his hat
>to the point he kicked a chair over when he rolled a 1 for hp one level
>game goes on relatively smooth except for the occasional outburst but it never gets violent so DM puts up with it
>then one day That Guy has his paladin start torturing a crime lord for information
>DM warns him that Paladins wouldn't torture people and if he keeps it up there'll be consequences
>That Guy loses his temper and his Paladin kills the crime lord in a fit of rage
>DM announces that the Paladin falls
>That Guy completely spergs out, yells that no one in the group wants him to have any fun, "it's what my character would do!" etc.
>flips the table over, throws his chair at the wall and puts a dent in it
>one of the groups a few tables over calls campus police
>two of them show up, try to calm That Guy down
>he throws his backpack at one of them
>cop pulls out a taser, stunguns that guy while his partner wrestles him to the ground
>he gets hauled off in handcuffs
>later we find out he got expelled from the college for it, and was tried in court for assaulting an officer

Huh. Thanks

Btw what was the sperg studying?

Engineering, so I think he was legitimately autistic.

>Eventually I get tired of him ruining every encounter, tell him I'm banning Zen Archers and he can rebuild his character as a different class

I was with you until this. You can't blame a That Guy for being a That Guy if you're going to enable it by being That GM.

Your job is to design the encounters and if he's steam rolling every single one with the same trick over and over with a feat you didn't look up for yourself then it's on you.

How about you just stop oppressing women?

Your false-flagging needs work.

The other players were all new to the game and had unoptimized characters, if I'd designed encounters to be challenging for the Zen Archer the other players would be even less relevant.

Guy screamed at me because I wouldn't do what he wanted us to do in d&d. Aka I was skinning a hydra to sell the scales since we were low level and he wanted everyone in our party to leave the town like we didn't just save it

Holy shit this sounds just like a guy I know. Especially that last part sounds like the exact situation I was in with that guy

A guy got pissed and left because we decided to kill his character after he sold us out to the Yakuza for protection

How about you stop being a misogynist piece of shit?

>Paladin falling AND getting expelled from community college

fugg thats a winner right there

What's the first letter of his first name?

I had That Guy as a DM.

>Be me, except age 15
>One of the few people I know wants to DM a game.
>Huge brute of a dude
>Says he used to play a lot, insists we play AD&D and only AD&D.
>I have issues with CharGen, he says I'm a dumb faggot and only helps me when it's obvious I've never played.
>Says I'm not allowed to play elves or dwarves since they are faggots and jews respectively.
>Tell him I want to play a Bard.
>He says they only way I'm allowed to play is if I learn an instrument, either piano or guitar.
>Tell him to go we fuck himself and he flips out.
>Beats me with his belt and says I'm not worth playing with.

I fucking hate having my Dad as the DM.

R

I knew a guy with the same kind of temper tantrums, supposedly his mom drinking during pregnancy had fucked him in some way, I forget the name for it.
Ca/tg/irls, take care of yourself if you ever decide to spawn. Don't make more That Guys

Fetal Alcohol Syndrome

Does spending five minutes sobbing and shrieking in abject terror count as a "tantrum," or do tantrums require anger?

Self That-Guy + That GM story

>Be me
>Be 14 at local gamestore
>Fat dude comes in with dufflebag of AD&D 2E books regularly
>Has every book even the green softcover ones
>Smells like cabbage
>Has a walking stick
>Attempts to engage him in conversation usually end with him pointing the stick at someone creepily
>One day Stick Guy is like IM GONNA RUN A GAME FOR YOU KIDS
>Rounds up me and 2 friends as victims
>He lets us run hog wild on options because he's a "good enough DM to handle anything"
>We make some broke shit but my friend makes an Alaghi Fighter with unarmed specialization and some broke stuff from skills and powers
>Start game, POOF DEMON PRINCE shows up to make us his plot bitch/be questgiver
>We are 14 so naturally we attack it
>Ed the Alaghi attacks him with a grapple and nat 20's
>Stick Guy is not happy
>He pages through rules for 30 minutes while we go outside and laugh
>Come back he allows it
>My turn
>Roll to hit and he's grabbed so Stick Guy forced to give me bonuses
>Friend and I start nickling and diming him to death because he has AC10 from grapple
>Demon fails to break grapple because Ed has 18/00 STR
>Stick Guy freaks out
>We kill him over a grueling 1 hour of real time of just failed grapple break checks and 1-3dmg at a time
>Stick guy loses his shit and says "Well you only get one level from this" despite getting like 12,000xp apiece at level 1
>We quit because this guy is losing it and is redfaced and outweighs us by like 200lbs
>Stick Guy points the stick at us and says THE STICK DOESN'T LIKE YOU as we leave
>New nickname: Evil Stick Guy

Later in life I was pizza deliveryman and I delivered to evil stick guy. He played a lot of WoW and ordered a lot of Dominos. He never recognized me and tipped well.

...

It doesn't matter, tell your story NOW

How the fuck did a fight break out?

I don't even know what you're talking about, but why was it necessary that he shoot instead of not get shot?

A dude made a character that could only deal damage and nothing else, he asked other players for notes on his character, that user pointed out that fact out, the dude flipped his shit

>playing 5e
>get to boss of a cave dungeon
>we snuck in with improvised disguises to avoid fighting through horde of goblins, even got one allied with us
>goblin disintegrated by boss who is apparently wizard
>immediately fall to floor screaming, our deaths are imminent
>turns out the staff only had that one charge, only learned after 5 minutes it took to calm me down

I am not a brave entity.

Can't tell if you or your character did this. If doing that in character, then this was fine and a fun little trick from your DM. If done OOC, what the fuck is wrong with you? The way you tell it makes you look like a fucking child and a definite that guy

I can see him now...

That's because 3e actually codified things instead of having contradictory rules or just hand-waves of "DM's discretion". I've run AD&D, 3.0, and pkayed in Pathfinder and 5e and I have to say I had tons of fun in AD&D but holy hell there's a lot of stuff I had to make up on the spot (at least compared to other editions)

Will Wheaton?

"Scouting ahead" usually involves stealth, which, if successful, would have prevented him from having an encounter.

Every moment, I imagine the myriad ways I could perish, and no possibility is left unentertained.

A game becoming real? Dragged down to Hell? Struck by lightning? Struck by meteorite? Hit by car? Eaten by roaming coyote? Smashed by a giant fist from the sky? Water main break directly under me? Sudden nuclear attack? Bridge collapse? Stray modified paintball gun?

Luckily I was able to keep the actual screaming IC /that/ time. There was some heavy breathing OOC, though, of the "oh boy our GM is going for a TPK" kind.

I think it is because we were in character that I was able to hold myself back. I swear there's a venomous spider in my room as I type this.

>BPB forum
?

...tell me about your typical day, user.

Thanatophobia? Although I suppose it's a strange word, sinceeveryone ought to be afraid of death.

Repeated attempts to distract myself from the constant background noise of "everything is pointless and you will die painfully in five seconds from some unexpected attack." It's not even rational, or reasonable, it just won't go away.

Distraction methods include academics, video games, and posting on Veeky Forums. Most people think I'm okay. At least one fellow player sees right through me.

Feel comfortable admitting this to Veeky Forums because of all the scenarios, "shot through computer screen" is less likely than "sudden escaped zoo elephant stampede," and far less likely than "floor collapses under me."

The alternative is that I am actually constantly begging for death, which I do not wish to believe at all.

Buddy, friend, pal. This seems like a genuine mental health issue, and not one that seems to hard to fix either. Do yourself a favour and seek help if you haven't already.

>>Little bro is about to apologize profusely, just quietly tell him to not worry about it.

All good my man, gonna hammer your sister like a railroad spike.

>THE STICK DOESN'T LIKE YOU
C'mon, you made that up

Has anyone screencapped this exchange?

>always had a hard time getting a group.
>Decide to try my hands at GMing
>Instantly get 4 replies
>Okay.jpg
>I wait a day or two to see if any more replies came in, but nothing. No problem, 4 is fine if they are decent people.
>1 chick and 3 guys.
>Chick is slightly overweight, nothing too terrible, and the guys were actual overweight
>1 guy seems to unironically wear a fedora, another is a very loud neckbeard guy, and the last surprisingly well groomed for a fat guy.
>Start up the campaign, 5e, and get a fairly nice party of a Warlock, Fighter, Rogue and Cleric.
>No edgy backgrounds, all guys took humans, girl made the Elf Cleric.
>Start off as a caravan that gets attacked, and the party all being there by chance.
>They all find really great reasons for being there through their backgrounds, and are really working hard to help make the characters feel real.
>Everything seems great
>They fight off the caravan attack, but two people got kidnapped. They mull over it, but decide to stick to the caravan, and lead it to the town. The caravan had mothers and kids, and they didn't want to risk their lives for a guy and a woman who had no children. Mainly the loud guy and the chick advocating for leaving them, but they roleplay it out nicely.
>No problem, they make their way to the city with the caravan.
>I make the mistake of saying "I expected you'd look for the captured people, so give me a few minutes to get my bearings on the city" because I hadn't fully prepared the city at that point.
>Fedora guy FLIPS HIS SHIT at the loud guy and the chick, OOC.
>Starts calling them distruptive assholes, points out the Clerics Chaotic Neutral alignment (which has literally just shown itself as her wanting to protect the caravan and not wander into the forest), and generally just bad mouths them and tries profusely to defend me needing some time to prepare, and that "it isnt my fault, and it would never happen with proper players", and that I should just kick them.
Wew.

I assume he meant PBP, not BPB. "PBP" would mean "Play By Post".

>no jumper cables
0/10 story

Well, obviously it didn't work out for him...

>autist guy plays dwarf
>an elf player makes fun of dwarves at every opportunity
>autist guy throws a die at him and tells him to shut up

So what happened after that?

Tbh, I would've come back with something along the lines of "the only disruptive asshole I'm seeing is you" or something like that.

Eh, 2/10 tantrum desu. Reads more like a halfhearted, failed attempt at a comeback.

ask and you shall recieve

PBP, sorry.

Wew lad

Don't know why, but something in the subtlety of this story rustles my jimmies.

>So what happened after that?
A huge fight, people yelling and screaming at each other, and we ended up breaking up the session at that point. I haven't heard that much swearing in a long time.

The well-groomed fat guy managed to sorta calm down things enough to give us a chance to split up without any problems.

Following sessions I just sent him a message that I couldn't invite him again after that showing last time, and it took me forever to make him stop texting me about how terrible the other players were, and how sorry he felt for me.

>Tbh, I would've come back with something along the lines of "the only disruptive asshole I'm seeing is you" or something like that.
I am too autistic, and I don't have even half of the required force behind my words to make them listen, or even hear me. My voice goes up to a volume 4 at best, and they were yelling at volume 9.

I am not optimal GM material, I just wanted to game.

[Spoiler]Chick?[/spoiler]

Because we are fighting to get out, even the squishy people are getting hit. He was using them as shields and dodging, his character was not any shade of neutral or evil. He was just a random asshole who followed someone he knew to the house uninvited.

I saw a lot of red flags, I was so sure it would turn out poorly at some point, but I did not expect THAT to be the trigger.

And 16 sessions down the line, the other 3 players are actually pretty great to play with. I keep seeing strange red flags, but everything is flowing smoothly, everybody is having fun, and we are hanging out even when we aren't gaming, so all is good.

Maybe

I shall now recount the tale of the time that I MYSELF was THAT GUY

>By forever GM for basically a decade
>In that time, run an impressive variety of campaigns, events, and spend virtually ALL of my free time studying and perfecting the art of interactive storytelling through the tabletop role playing medium
>I'm basically hot shit at GMing, and I don't care who knows it
>A friend of a friend invites me to a campaign as a player

>Completely out of my element
>My character is lame as fuck. Looking back, he would work well as an NPC, but as a recurring character in a story, he's awful
>Find myself judging every move that our GM makes, but keeping quiet through most of it
>He's making (what I mistakenly consider) beginner mistakes
>Not constructing a natural narrative or building a cohesive setting. Not establishing the parameters of the campaign or giving the players space to interact with their environment or one another
>I'm judging each of his encounters instead of just enjoying them.

>He goes out of his way to try and build interesting locations and or use iconic "set pieces"
>I make comments about how they break the immersion of his setting by seeming too outlandish and also site BY MEMORY from what published adventures his stuff is borrowed from
>He tries to set up hooks and quests for the players that are still interested, and in-character I openly say what my character thinks the solution or mystery is. Get every one of them right, while the GM stares blankly at me
>We bypass an entire mission when I metagame and go directly to the source of a quest without investigating first. GM doesn't even try to stop me.

>Realize, after doing all of this, that I have completely destroyed this beginner GM's first campaign and not only am I THAT GUY, but I am also a monster

Never shall I play as a player again... Actually, another noob GM ran a short campaign about a month after this and it was the coolest set of adventures I've ever played.

Is this campaign online? Can I join?
:(

No, it is in real life.

I have never had a good online group.

>I have never had a good online group.
I don't think they do either. Very small sample pool (Only about 14), but damn man, they are just all bad. Either we never get anywhere because people insist on using text, and then take forever to write a reply, or people sperg out over voice chat.

Some of the most fun I've had GMing was online, but that was with a group I'd been playing MMORPGs with for years. Gaming over VOIP is easy when everyone's used to talking to eachother on a Teamspeak server every day anyway.

>or people sperg out over voice chat.
Man, I must use all my luck on online RPG games, because the last couple of groups I found playing with are really cool dudes and we're all having a lot of fun together, without having people sperging out

Yeah I can imagine that being easier.

Getting used to voice chat playing a game where you dont need to talk, and then transitioning to pure roleplay, is likely a lot easier than jumping straight into role playing with randoms.

Hey friendo. They're watching you. You're never safe. They'll come for you and there is nothong you can do about it