How do you like your unicorns, Veeky Forums?

Well done, with sauteed mushrooms.

Large white horses that are a little shorter than your standard clydesdale, a donkey-like tail, kind of a horse-goat-mane and beard combo, and obviously the most iconic feature: a massive 2ft'ish long narwhal like horn coming out of the forehead, with the body coming in tones of white, tawny, and or an optional black backside.
Personality wise, I'm a kind of a contrarian shithead because I like non-sapient, *non-magical, Unicorns: feral, untamed, wild and aggressive symbols of deep, 'healthy', wilderness that is wild.

*And then the bonus feature is that people still, unironically, believe that Unicorn horns can do all this magical shit and cure everything, but then don't think it's weird that they can just kill the creature using perfectly mundane means, as if the beast could do such magics, but for some reason wouldn't use it to defend itself or save it's own life.

the perfect virgin

Because who'd fuck that?

I prefer earth ponies tbqh.

>How do you like your unicorns, Veeky Forums?
Real

Aren't mythological unicorns super rapey?

Haven't thought about this yet, prolly something like this:

"Hundreds or thousands of years ago, a blight had burnt up the landscape till it was black. Black by day, blacker by night. Fogs meandered here, coming and going from the marshes, but farther in, some eight miles westward, a lake of salt lay pink – glittering under the rufous moon. Here grew exotic malformed trees with fruits that shone like brass, and here, on the wide melanotic shore of the lake, unicorns had been known to dance, to fight and to couple. And this night the unicorns came, as if they were the sigils of a man's terror and craving.

The unicorns were savage, not white as doves, but the colors of scarlet gum and old yellow bone, with twisted horns of tarnished swarthy gold. There were three. They emerged from the gruesome woods where the metallic fruit clinked. A hare started from a thicket and a unicorn tamped it to the earth with its forefoot, ripped and shredded with the serrated oblongs of its golden teeth, then kicked the carcass aside and stalked on.

On the lake shore the unicorns ran and circled, their hooves crunching the glittering charcoal sand. One had a silver scar on his flank as if a star had burnt him. He flung about and clashed his single horn against the single horn of another. Lowering their heads these two, pawing the sand, glaring from their eye sockets at an impossible angle, began to duel. The whorled horns came together, smote, screeched, struck sparks, scraped off, returned, like two smoky swords. The third unicorn, partnerless, reared to lash and thrust at the moon."

Unicorns are now land dolphins.

DELET

Since I tend to dislike how modern fantasy games lack a lot of the cultural impact and awesome (traditional use of the word here) implications that actual folklore monsters had, I tend to over emphasis their majesty and goodness.

Literally every step a unicorn makes is perfect, the grass softly folds out of the way but will spring back up to full bloom when the unicorn retreats. They have no odor or filth on them, and butterflies mingle in the air around them. Even seeing a Unicorn is considered the single greatest good or positive omen someone can receive, except maybe a visit from the God(s) themselves. Unicorns cannot be seen, touched, harmed, or conceived by anyone with evil intent. Wearing a single lock of a unicorn's mane on your person means the cruelest bandits and orc warbands will simply be unable to harm you no matter how much they want to. Only a virgin can ride a unicorn, and anyone virgin maiden who does ride a unicorn (only in times of danger or need would it appear) will permanently make them more beautiful. If a unicorn brushes against your arm it cures infertility and a unicorns breath stored in a glass jar can end any curse.

Now imagine all of this shit but backwards for demons, and you see what I'm talking about. Players don't feel wonder or fear because you don't make them significant.

Fucked up. They're wild horses with a fucking horn. They'll fucking stab you if you aren't virtuous enough. Killing one unleashes a terrible curse. Goblins actively hunt and capture them. Chaotic female elf warriors ride them into battle like graceful berserkers.

Horny.

Unicorns are shit. Kelpie are way better.
>No horse fuckers know they exist
>Cool aquatic aesthetic
>Piles of pure murder

I like them as stern and gruff warriors. Also with big horns.

I thought that was Centaurs.

well done.

>No horse fuckers know they exist
Shoo be doo, shoo shoo be doo. Faggot.

Oh, so even that's ruined. Great.

No, they're pure creatures only visible to virgins. I wonder if serial masturbators could see them.

Yeo

I like 'em all. Unicorns, monoceroses, karkadanns, even xiezhi.

Those are Greco-Roman orcs.

>No, they're pure creatures only visible to virgins. I wonder if serial masturbators could see them.
Trolling for a yes answer so that you can claim you're not a vigin anymore eh user?

Ruined before you were a twinkle in the eye of the mother who should have aborted you.

My /mlp/ based answer? Not a fucking sellout.

My normal answer: basically part horse, part celestial, part fey.

Definitely summer courtiers and friendly, just don't think they're nothing more than show ponies. They pack mojo and do remember, they can get strong enough to become patrons of warlocks.

I like my unicorns terrifying

I mean... they have breasts.

We hear about unicorns all the time, but have you ever considered whatever happened to bicorns and tricorns?

They were all killed to become stylish hats

Consider the following:
>tricorn = animal with three horns = triple-pointed hat = tricorne
>bicorn = animal with two horns = double-pointed hat = bicorne
>unicorn = animal with one horn = single-pointed hat = the classic conical wizard hat
I'd argue that unicorns would've gone extinct way faster than bicorns and tricorns, if what you said have actually been the case.

>Wizards hunted unicorns for their horns to make hats
I guess this means unicorns actually hate virgins.

I think the wizards' virginity is more like a lightningrod to unicorns. So most wizards think 'why not' and polymorphed them into hats for them to wear.

As we know in real life, the best way to extend the life of a species is to make humans depend on these animals for a product, such as foodstuff. This too is the case for the unicorn; nobody wants bicone hats or tricone hats. We breed unicorns and give them a priviledged position in nature whereas the other animals have to compete for suvival against the likes of basillisks and other monsters. They perish. The unicorn endures thanks to the 'wanton' interest of society.

Sorry that I don't know everything about a show that only autistic horse fuckers watch.

Damn gurl.

>We hear about unicorns all the time, but have you ever considered whatever happened to bicorns and tricorns?

We have those, user.
Those are just Deer.. Or Rhino's depending on whom you ask.

Somebody make an edit with a Chad centaur.

>Dana Simpson
You'd never think that someone who draws cute comics would also be an insufferable asshole.

>unicorns

>looking like horses

The unicorn lived in a lilac wood, and she lived all alone. She was very old, though she did not
know it, and she was no longer the careless color of sea foam, but rather the color of snow falling
on a moonlit night. But her eyes were still clear and unwearied, and she still moved like a shadow
on the sea.
She did not look anything like a horned horse, as unicorns are often pictured, being smaller and
cloven-hoofed, and possessing that oldest, wildest grace that horses have never had, that deer have
only in a shy, thin imitation and goats in dancing mockery. Her neck was long and slender, making
her head seem smaller than it was, and the mane that fell almost to the middle of her back was as
soft as dandelion fluff and as fine as cirrus. She had pointed ears and thin legs, with feathers of
white hair at the ankles; and the long horn above her eyes shone and shivered with its own seashell
light even in the deepest midnight. She had killed dragons with it, and healed a king whose
poisoned wound would not close, and knocked down ripe chestnuts for bear cubs.

Undead and ravaging the kingdom of Dundee.

Chaos wizards rise!

I like them-
>[this user has been banned for breaking global rule 15]

>>No horse fuckers know they exist
>he really believes this
what you should have said is horse fuckers die fucking it

...

>tfw no porn of milfy unicorns having to settle for neets because they have no other choice these days

Gelatinous.

Nice read.

...

"Unicorn". Old French, "unicorne". Latin, "unicornis". Literally, one horned: "unus", one, and "cornu", a horn. A fabulous animal resembling a horse with one horn. Visible only to those who search and trust, and generally mistaken for a white mare. Unicorn.

...

>(((breasts)))

Where I can watch them.

Well, if you're in a fantasy setting, Haggard's Castle would be a good bet, if it exists in your setting; if not, check for the forests and woods where spring never seems to end. (How are you posting on Vietnamese basket-weaving sites, then?)

If you're in somewhere more like Shadowrun, check whatever video-streaming services exist in your local intranet (Yourtunnel, Spasm, Scarletunnel, or whatever the local names are). Or just the local zoo, if they (the unicorns, the zoos, or the unicorns at the zoos) exist anymore. (There are likely some in some obscenely rich dude's private reserve, but the odds of you getting a view are slim to none, even if you actually work there.)

>(How are you posting on Vietnamese basket-weaving sites, then?)
Got a deal with a butterfly, time and space are meaningless to those guys where media is concerned. Sure they just use it to make anachronistic references, but it works for other things too.

But yes, most who see a unicorn don't even know it, they'll think she's just a mare.

(...Fucking butterflies, man. One rickrolled me over a thousand years before the song was even written. And let's not even mention Lorenz...)

Pity you aren't from one of the futures with replicators or 3-D programmable factories; then you could just build yourself one. With lasers and vibro-hooves or something.

Sentient = has emotional states such as anger or contentment, most animals are sentient.
Sapient = conscious, thinking, self aware, remember it as "homo SAPIENS"

Interestingly, someone with a disorder like schizoid PD or sociopathy could be considered to be perfectly sapient but not very sentient. Now you know!

Underrated.

She's got a very dinky and mishapen horn

Turned into antipoisons.

bitchy and wearing a purple hat.

In this hentai, Unicorns are named after their... Lower Horn. That decoration is just a symbol.

I like them purple and being former commies, sweetie.

I see excellent

I liked that one better when her name was Rodimus Prime

Badass.

I think they just gore or hide from anything that isn't a virgin

If unicorns can only be seen by virgins then would it go invisible if you bust a nut in one? When does virginity leave, is it immediately on penetration or orgasm or what? Could a person film porn with a unicorn to fulfill the invisible rape fetish? Do you think there would be a market for porn where someone gets plowed by a unicorn and the camera man gets a good internal shot of the action as they get plowed?

Asking for a friend.

>Jennifer Diane Reitz

Thank you kind sir, I'll make sure to remember that.

kinda ugly like a donkey and with toes

and they are short

I agree kelpies are awesome

remember the NIck movie

Go Fuck yourself good Sir.

One of my all time favorite webcomic series.

It looks cute, what is it about?

The premise is humans from earth, in our distant past, our distant future, and modern times have been moved via cosmic rain to a new Universe. All collectively dropped on an alien world.

The First Story, Unicorn Jelly is about the descendants of these people, and how they manage to escape another cosmic event threatening that universe. A cataclysm set into motion thousands of years ago by the Arrive of humans in that universe.

The next two stories are... related... its all related.

UJ is a little hard to get into but if you stick with it past the first 20 or so strips it really picks up.

The entire first comic was made with a program very similar to fucking MS Paint, so the amount of effort and work that went into the art was amazing.

Sapient woolie rhinos with anger issues.

Here is Every Comic in the first series on one page.

+ The Alternate Universe Strips which explain things about the Universe and how its alien physics behave.

unicornjelly.com/megamanga2.htm

Huh, alright. I can certainly appreciate the artstyle for what it is so I'll give it a shot.

Fat, gray, African. Real unicorns are best unicorns.

It's more asking if chronic masturbators are pure. I'd like to see a unicorn.

I can promise you it will be an interesting Ride, the 2nd and 3rd series are even better.

...

Neurotic, overworked bibliophiles who get saddled with other people's interpersonal baggage.

Dude you do know what 'she' went on to do, right?