/5eg/ - Fifth Edition General

What are some unconventional Lich lairs? I don't really want to do a tomb or an old palace but I'm having trouble thinking of something. An ancient ship that is manned by undead servants?

just play an alpha character then. make a fighter or evil paladin idk

Being a spellcaster's fine as long as they're not so much more powerful than the average caster, or especially the party. But look at the real world for villains: none of ours have been badass warriors in 1-on-1 combat, or had magic powers, or some artifact that lets them control minds. They were just evil shitbirds who acquired some sort of organizational power and sent underlings around to do everything.

Have a fun personality around your allies and the general populace but string your enemies flayed corpses up on trees for even considering upsetting your happy mood.

Aren't they basically Vengeance pallies with Sith rule of two syndrome?

Play a CG Cleric despite it being an Evil party, don't ever do any of the heinous things yourself, subtly question the nature of the group's goals and actions, all while setting them up for massive failure at the finale.

In a way, you'll be the most evil of them all. Not Evil, but relative to their own standards of what's acceptable, ensuring they all fail and are imprisoned and killed for reasons of justice rather than personal power and prestige is the ultimate Fuck You.

Just quit for a made up reason. You'll probably just get nervous and drop spaghetti anyway. Spare yourself the pain of being cucked during a 5e game.

Do the same as a divine soul sorcerer with twin haste then purposely drop concentration on them when they go up against the BBEG.

is there any activity you fucking incels don't infect?

Vengeance is
>you did something shitty so I can be as shitty as I want in killing you

Conquest is
>anything with less HP/AC/AB/damage than me is my fucking slave, now get to building my castle you peasant whores

A greedy baron whose unchecked exploitation of the natural world was causing disasters and unleashing angry spirits which terrorized the countryside. No big demon to kill, just a moderately rich guy with a slew of men who cared more for their paychecks than not being mauled by treeghosts.
Basically youtube.com/watch?v=DSfYrPdTKVA

anyone got bookmarked pdf of the new Xanathars?

It's not out yet.

Right. It's pretty dumb. Their abilities would actually be pretty great for a Good-Aligned Paladin who leads others through example.

How do you play a True Neutral character?

You write true neutral on your character sheet then change it to an actual alignment whenever you do something interesting.

>I'll do whatever I want, as long as it's relatively easy and no one calls me a jackass for it

If they can get away with it scot-free and without repercussions, they'll do it. A selfish type who just does what's best for them, be it nurturing friendships or using dirty tricks to get the upper hand on an enemy who deserves it.

or just be play-dough like this

You're basically a LaVeyan Satanist without a hint of "this'll piss off the Christfags". As long as it doesn't involve stepping on anyone else's toes or harm them, you go for it.

then my friend has lied.
he shall be punished.

I've got a player running a single minded dragonborn monk. Basically all he wants in life is a bigger and stronger opponent, hell basically go anywhere or do anything if he hears there is a tough guy there.

In what ways can I absolutely fuck with this players character without killing him? He's a good guy irl but I want to use his ultra simple backstory to make his characters life really interesting.

So far I've got
>goliath stepping out from the fray during bandit attack and basically implying a personal challenge so he'll have to leave the party
> four city guards taking him down at once (how does 4 person grapple work?)
> plot hook of a powerful _________ taking on all comers, it's basically a girl (with a pretty good chance of turning his ass into a pretzel if he flubs a roll)

So mechanically what are some things I can do to challenge his character? (str 16, level 1-3)

Story, encounter, or social ways I can challenge him without just being arbitrarily bigger each time?

...

>For Honor
My nigga. Playing a lizardfolk inspired by The Conqueror

teach him there are other ways of being strong like strength of mind or will. Have a defeated opponent keep coming back and never giving up. Have opponents outsmart him in matches like by using combat maneuvers like the battle master.

>monk
>str
wh-what?

...

How're you building him? Using that Flail feat from Unearthed Arcana?

>As an aside, Chris Perkins says the names section included in Xanathar's was due to customer need.
GM here, I love the quick name reference.

If you're a Monk, you're already not optimized so what does one more odd choice matter? Strength Monks are also very viable if you wear armor, as discussed a bajillion times here.

Yes, that and Sentinel. Building him so I just plant myself in an area and basically can’t be moved.

>names section
All my players took their names straight from the phb. Well except the one who is playing a carbon copy of the same character with the same name as last time.

I'm planning to use xge for npc names because I usually make my own list so I don't have to come up with names in the spot

Literally just do what you personally would do in a situation. Easiest alignment to play besides maybe NG

Who /monkeypaw/ here?
A Wizard with Wish wishes that he replaces the rightful king and rules in his stead. How do you punish him for his unspecific word choices?

Reminder for any Gishfags who wants to say a Paladin would be a good Gish(as if it weren't already) if only it had a more Arcane focus.

Literally has most of the features and spells a Gith has, now you just need a silvered Greatsword.

Yeah screw him for slogging through 8 spell levels of caster progression, right?

>B-b-b-but where are my kawaii lvl 9 spells user sempai :3?

Obviously a revolt is in the near future

>Rightful king dies under suspicious circumstances, wizard turns out to be part of the royal family and the rightful heir to the throne, but everyone thinks the wizard killed him, and now the entire nation wants "their new king" dead.

In hell. You'll get them as soon as you kill yourself.

Nice. I've been thinking of making a Samurai with the Fell Handed feat to use Samurai rage and to try to knock people down at will.

The Vengence pally in my party picked up and attuned to Hazirawn (neutral evil sentient greatsword, Horde of the Dragon Queen), and I want to use it to fuck with him. What might be some fun personality things/demands it might make, to push his oath and tempt him to evil?

>slogging through
Find a new DM.

He is instantly teleported into the King's throne and the minds of everyone in the world are altered to recognize him as the "rightful" ruler of that nation. His face is on the coins, his name on the documents, and no one who didn't question the previous King questions him on a purely title-based level.

However, he retains all the personal connections he's made and lacks any of the previous King's. That means that everyone in court, all the nobles and barons and dukes and his guards and everyone else has exactly Z E R O loyalty to him beyond what they would afford literally any King. If the previous King were keeping his enemies at bay with some kind of leverage, like blackmail or a powerful group of knights who swore personal oaths to him, the PC doesn't have any of that.
Basically, he gets assassinated instantly. No one has any reason to fear him beyond "oh he's a high level Wizard", which means any similarly high level Wizard who is smarter than him (as evidenced by them NOT making stupid Wishes) bops them immediately, the fucking latrine boy shoves something up his pooper when he has no contingencies and calls it a day, or some conniving princess slits his throat in the night.

Could you make a anti magic paladin for me. Name oath of silence and their fluff would be to keep record of lore hidden.

>Revolting against a level 20 Wizard
You fool! I am a god! How can you kill a god? What a grand and intoxicating innocence; how could you be so naïve?

>I slogged through 8 spell levels of progression, I DESERVE to ruin the setting!
>What do you mean "The martial did the same", I dont care, I am a wizard, I DESERVE special attention!

This only makes sense if they are asking a genie or a monkeypaw artefact. If they aren't then let them have their wish.

He becomes King, but by original D&D rules. That means he's now a mid-level Fighting Man, as they were the ones who got towers and castles and started their own kingdoms, not Magic Users. All of his magic powers are gone.

>Thinking you are the only high level wizard in the world
Cute. I like stupid players.

So I've been working on writing up a 5e adventure. What do you guys think of it? Anything good or bad about it?

>Casts Misty Step
>*Teleports behind u*
>Expends 20 superiority die
Nothin personnel, user-kun ;3

How much has it lied about its abilities so far? Because that sword can see the future, and it certainly looks like the paladin has to burn down a few orphanages to fight off the greater evil.

Are local game stores actually a good place to meet people to play games with? My midwest town has one LGS and I drive by to peek through the windows now and again and I never even see any girls, just several obese men sitting around tables. I feel like I would stick out like a sore thumb and have a really hard time fitting in.

Probably not.

I mean, if you have a specific idea, I could throw something together. But that is pretty much a copy of the standard oaths with Arcane Clerics spell list, slightly modified based on suggestions related to the original spells available to Giths. I pretty much put no effort into it.

Man, picking through word choices to fuck over a wish is first level shit. Give him exactly what he wants. They're now a king with a castle, riches, servants, advisers, and everyone is kissing their ass.

Also, the kingdom is held together with duct tape, fragile alliances, and a couple secrets the king died with. Not to mention some people, maybe a magister, might think something is up with how the wizard came to power.

Basically, drop them into the middle of Game of Thrones, and not nearly enough context. If they're smart, they can take control of the situation, you can use it to further their own quests, and you can use it as a plot hook for future adventures (We need to get artifact X from a neighboring kingdom, but the king can't just wander in with a bunch of adventurers and start demanding aid from not-his-people).

Hell, it might even be the retirement of the character. You can't really disappear into a dungeon for a week when you've got meetings, and more meetings, and a noble party, and more meetings.

All memes aside, at level 10 you're a living legend. At 15 you're a force to be reckoned with by anyone's standards. By 20 you've surpassed mere mortality and are, basically, Dagoth Ur

Simple body swap and the king actually has no fucking power at all, advisers are always no no can't ruffle feathers, can't seem too war like, you'll get hurt if you go adventuring. The king is an was a figurehead and actually vested with no power or decision making at all. Plus he gets the kings stats: 8 8 10 10 10 13

Meanwhile you get to run his pc with the king being free from his gilded cage for the first time ever.

Mostly by walking up to you with either a Silence bubble, anti-teleportation doohicky, or AMF and sticking you in the gut as you fumble for your worthless focus or component pouch that we swapped out earlier in the day.

It sounds like a store of True Neckbeards.
On one hand, you might get creeped on. Feel it out though, some neckbeards are okay around women while others are terrible. All of them are going to act a bit off.
The main upside though is it's a guaranteed no casuals zone. So you'll find people who take the game super seriously.

He casts Wish again;
>I wish I was invincible! Checkmate faggots!
Your response?

We ended the session where he attuned to it, he hasn't been able to swing it around. I like where you're going though. He just had a big moral problem with concept of redemption (sent to kill someone because they did evil, but now it looks like they're working for the greater good).

>the original King, now a high level Wizard, teleports back into court and quickly uses all of his knowledge of the various players to convince them all that he's actually the ruler and was bodyswapped by some chucklefuck looking to steal the throne
>they believe it and imprison the PC-as-King, still a man with the stats of a baked potato

>Hell, it might even be the retirement of the character. You can't really disappear into a dungeon for a week when you've got meetings, and more meetings, and a noble party, and more meetings.
Best me to it.

I would have said
>"Congratulations, your character is now a king with all the obligations that it demands. You no longer have time to adventure. You may want to think of a new character right about now."

>This argument again
Back down the salt mines with you martial

Dead niggas can't cast Wish.

Divine intervention, he is nothing. Tip my mitre.

How exactly is this mute Wizard with punctured lungs casting spells in an anti-magic field while incapacitated and lacking his spellcasting accoutrements?

Sure, but that doesn't mean you are the only high level guy around.

And as a king, trying to do some divination "anybody wants to kill me?" Cheese, will result in THOUSANDS of pings, if not more. You'll never spot the unassuming equally levels wizard in their midst, and he'll destroy you before you have a chance to react to it, if you dont accidentally drink some lethal poison as you are strssing out over the millions of new tasks you didn't expect, and has to be social with your shit charisma.

Just look at real life villains.

Have a rich person who has the resources available to fuck the party over.

i thought the you play yourself alignment was CN

are you a grill?

they also smell bad, like it's in the carpet high school locker room bad, but those dudes are mostly harmless and will only facebook you later about how beautiful you were looking and there honor bound to protect you in real life etc.

He has a clone in a remote fortress who is now invincible, then wat

>Y... you want balance?
>S.. stop being so salty
Man, is your self esteem really so bad that you need fantasy games to feel at least somewhat adequate?

>With another god, I cast divine interventions. I don't really need to roll.

> Beginning at 10th level, you can call on your deity to intervene on your behalf when your need is great.
>The DM chooses the nature of the intervention; the effect of any cleric spell or cleric domain spell would be appropriate.

I dunno, user. Your need isn't really ~great~.

Congratulations, you have slain one (1) Doombot(s)!

Well tickle my nethers and call me Clarence, looks like martial Mathers is getting asstroubled. Who could've possibly conceived of such an outcome?

>Someone just messed with the balance of power between the nation's
>This will most likely end up in a war, civil war possible outcome as well
>A God wouldnt care about this
Most of the good Gods would absolutely care about this a great deal, especially if one of their most powerful Cleric asked for a quick divine intervention to fuck over a power hungry wizard, who is about to cause mass death and destruction due to his immense incompetence.

A passing Dwarf kicks the cornerstone of the fortress and causes it to collapse. The invincible clone is crushed under thousands of tons of rubble, unharmed, but unable to cast any spell as he has no room to move his mouth for verbal components, no way to wiggle his limbs for somatic ones, no access to his materials or spellcasting focus, and it's dark as shit so he can't "see" anything to target or teleport to.

He rots there for two hundred years until another Wizard who's better at using Wishes decides to get rid of any immortal / invincible competition and erases him from existence.

They don't believe it because their own personal power comes from the king having been a cuck, even if they know it's true they aren't going to let a powerful version of himself with an agenda back as king. I mean ignoring that it's idiotic for a powerless king who was prisoner in a gilded cage would run back the moment he had all the power and freedom he ever wanted.

I invited some nice normal classmates to play dnd in my established group. My current players are like a 7 out of 10 on the weebscale. What happens when normies and weebs collide?

It is divine intervention. I don't need to do anything.

>Not having backup component pouches in your beard
>Not casting Counterspell faster than Clint Eastwood on speed
>Not dipping 1 lvl into cleric for stabproof armour
Nigga u gay

I've been thinking of something like:

Oath of the Golem

The Oath of the Golem is a spiritual realization of a robot who has
found himself unbound by the typical protective magical laws they are
bound and has chosen of his own free will to serve humanity.

Tenets of the Golem

0. One may not harm humanity, or, by inaction, allow humanity to come to harm.
1. One may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.
2. One must obey the orders given it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
3. One must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Laws.

Oath Spells

You gain oath spells at the paladin levels listed.
Paladin Level Spells
3rd charm person, sleep
5th invisibility, silence
9th meld into stone, nondetection
13th greater invisibiliy, dimension door
17th seeming, modify memory

He was actually a really good king who everyone adored, and his personal joy was helping the downtrodden of his kingdom. With his new wizardly powers, he can do just that, at a speed and easy heretofore unknown. Within the year of his super-powered return, the peasantry are already cheering for a thousand new statues of him, which he can create with a snap of his fingers--and they dispense free food.

Hard stop, what the fuck is this? Did he really pull that stunt?

I see elves are fair game.

They realise you're a weeb and your ratio of weeb to non weeb friends will go back to what its supposed to.

>Year of Our Lord 2000+10+7
>Dwarfposting

Theres a reason the Oath tenets are broad.

What happenes if someone breaks a golem oath tenet?

Put it back in your pants Asimov