Meanwhile on Demon Hunter Veeky Forums

>Meanwhile on Demon Hunter Veeky Forums
We have done it, fellow Hunters. We have opened the gate, and we have delved deep. We have plumed the depths of the Outer Dark, of Sitra Ahra, and we have returned changed, but wise beyond all knowing. We can see the future that is coming now, with eyes made anew, and we despair at it. The day is coming, the day when the Adversary shall reach beyond the divide, to snuff out ever last spark in the cosmos, and usher in an age of Night Eternal, this we have seen. Are you prepared, Hunters? Are you truly prepared?

Seek the Blade Eternal. It will fix everything.

The Blade Eternal lies shattered, O' Treader Of the Wastes. The power within it naught but dim embers of the glory that it once was. The hope it embodied barely enough to stem the tides.

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Mage's Guild called, it misses you and wants you to go home.

Reddit called. It misses you sucking it's throbbing dong, and wants you to come back.

I don't know what I did but this place is awesome! anyone else know what this gravitationally unstable place is? it's making my flamethrower do some real work.

"Gravitationally Unstable"? Got anything more descriptive than that, user?

imagine walking across the street in a vaccum and suddenly the universe decides you should be on that wall right now.

Oh, seems like you ended up in a realm where the laws of physics have been warped and bent. Doesn't seem too bad, but I would advise that you be careful. You could very easily go "splat" if the dimensions gravity is in constant flux if it is as unstable as you say.

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I enter, I breathe in the atmosphere. And I smile, for I know.

All is calm.
All is bright.

I swear to fucking god, the Fifthists and their subsidiaries are coming out of the fucking woodwork nowadays. How the hell did you bastards even get onto this site anyway?

Funny. I don't remember you American hunters being so "poetic" about this sort of thing. You dabble in dangerous things, leaping into knowledge like that and exposing yourself as much as you are to the powers beyond. When the library is raided, the librarian always comes knocking asking for reparations. I'd be on guard if I were you.

fuck off

You Japanese aren't any better, you know. You have your heads up your own asses to such a degree sometimes that it's almost impossible to trust you lot to *not* fuck things up and make an already bad situation even worse. We couldn't even trust you lot during that one time when a fragment of Amatsu-Mikaboshi broke loose and started to devour everything in its path. Or that one time when Izanami arose and attempted to drown the owrld in rot and death. We had to handle that one too.

how to summin succubus (male)?

Round yon virgin mother and child.
Holy infant, so tender and mild.

have fun being exiled to my buddies

first off all its a incubus
second of all not telling

>Izanami
That was the Italians who fixed that one. Vatican Hunters don't fuck around; don't take credit for the Pope's work.

The point still stands either way. The Nips are shit at dealing with most threats, even tihngs that originate form their own damn countries. So they really shouldn't be acting all high and mighty towards everyone else.

It's not entirely their fault. Japanese Hunters are usually pretty hot shit and relatively powerful; they've got all kinds of powers and tech at their disposal. They just have a bad habit of overestimating themselves or picking bad fights because they don't know how to ask for help.

New Hunterswake reporting in.
The forest is gone.
...what the fuck did you guy do this time?
On the plus side, my daughter's back.
On the minus side, Toby's flipping out about needing to find something called Arkhalis.
Anyone got any hints on where to find that?

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So me and couple of Hebrews ended up in what we think to be ruins of old Elves kingdom. Theres litreally no life down here and the groups rabii's golem is acting up. (Note they only do this if a Abrahamic Demon is near by or some form of unholy relic is near). I need help.

Why are you working with a bunch of self-proclaimed "Hebrews", and why are you now in an ages-old ruin? Those two factors combined are just asking the multiverse to murder you in some truly horrible, and somehow darkly ironic manner.

First off I am calling them Hebrews since company policy dictates I never mention there names openly and that my "Squad" is filled with hunters from Israel and are offically sanctioned by a Chief Rabbi. Secondly we entered the gate with the intial Under Dark Party only know how we achieved a stable net work connection and were able source check the ruins we ended up in.

Well, you're probably going to die horribly then. Entering what are almost certainly haunted ruins is stupid on its lonesome. Doing so with Hunters that are less trustworthy than the sand-maggots of the abyssal Dunes as well? I do not like your odds there friend.

Ive worked with worse.

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Portlander here.

GF's regenerated... Mostly. She's the size of a kid now and kinda mad at me.

I had to dump her arms and legs in a river to keep her from running. It's that India one that everyone bathes in and dumps their trash and ashes into.

I still need advice on how to fix this relationship.

Why the hell do you still have that thing around, dear Hunter? I thought you were advised to destroy it as soon as possible.

>I still need advice on how to fix this relationship.
You can "fix" it by burning that aberration into a mass of carbonized fibers before it starts to grow and spread even more.

Look: 1) She's my girlfriend; 2) Setting people on fire does not make for good relationships.

*sigh* I'm gonna see a sherpa for advice.

Portlander out.

She is not looking for a relationship, she's looking for a host!
You're doing a bang up job of that thus far!
You're supposed to fail at that, by the way!
Listen to us and melt your "girlfriend" of an eldritch horror in acid before you fuck everyone over!

Checking in again.

Had to shave off some bits so she woudn't be mobile while I was trying to negotiate our relationship. Had to get rid of the parts as usual... Sold them to a family next door for basically nothing. Which was a mistake...

They were Muslim. They said it tasted like pork and got the community riled up. Really? HOW THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW WHAT PORK TASTES LIKE?

Fuck it, I'm out. Good thing my GF being a child-sized torso means she fits comfy-snug inside the duffle again.

Portlander out.

Don't even bother, his mind has long since been devoured by the thing. The only way we'really stopping him is through killing both him and his "girlfriend", and swiftly burning the remains. In fact, we've already sent out a team of our own Units other go and handle the threat.

I'd like to point out you're uppity about setting people on fire not making for good relationships. So you think cutting her up and stuffing her into a duffel bag does?

And feeding her to his Muslim neighbors, no less.

Those Muslims are going to die horrible, screaming deaths once the creatures infesting them finish gestating. But then again, they were dumb enough to eat the stuff, so they probably deserved it.

How does one man fuck up so bad

Seriously, fucked-ass situations like this are why my problem-solving system involves an increasing scale of caliber until it says, "FUCKITNAPALM".

I usually just chat with the threat of the day first. Have my daughter's boyfriend translate if necessary.
Not every eldritch horrorterror is here to incite madness and rend the world in half, you know?

He's been cutting up and dumping body parts across Japan, a boat ride to china, throughout china I think... Now he's in india. He's been feeding parts to dogs, disguising ribs as ribs in a butcher shop, now he's actively feeding them to other humans for digestion.

We've likely got clones on the ocean floor, clones growing in the forest, clones growing in people's stomachs, clones growing in mammals, birds and fish, people turning into clones... Fuck. I just remembered. He said something about food disposal, right? There are probably clones growing in the sewers judging by his M.O..

How many units do we have to send?

Fuck. Someone give this guy some advice that doesn't involve destroying his "partner". Maybe that will make him settle down so that we can kill him. Maybe it will also stop him from cutting her up.

On the one hand, they're probably terrorists and will blow themselves up. On the other hand, that's bad for quarantine. Nothing like viscera and red mist to make containment "fun".

Don't tell this to any in the Brotherhood. I'm not sure if they're the sane Muslims or the terrorist ones.

I've tried to lure him over to New Hunterswake.
Something in the local space dampens powers enough to sever a hivemind's connection to others, and even prevent infection.
Said Tomie, named Dog-Ear Tomie, later merged with a direct mirror version of herself from another plane of reality, which was done to quash any chance of further infection.
It's worked out well, adn i think such a half-built Tomie as portlander's carrying might just either drop dead or get merged with another anti-Tomie when she entered New Hunterswake.

Right now, though, i can't say much. We used to be near Dover Cliffs, there was that misty forest between us and the main road. Now the forest itself is replaced by some sort of void and i'm seeing weird glowy lines in the void's center area.
So i don't even know if the road's usable anymore...

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>he still hasn't figured out how to filter threads he doesn't like
Oh, sweet summer child.

You guys are still dealing with that. Also need any help, ill see if I can round up some Yokai Hunters maybe even some guys from "Organ Collectors". But yeah do you need any help out there.

which faith
abrahamic, etc?

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Maybe not with most of this, but if someone could drag all the Tomie fragments Portlander's left in his wake, as well as Portlander's Tomienugget over here we could probably induce more anti-Tomie merging.

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