/5eg/ - Fifth Edition General

But a good handful of cayenne and chili powder can be like a blast of mace if you get it in your eyes, at least in my experience.
On a similar note, the oily residue of garlic can have a really stingy burning effect on your crotch if you have to scratch an itch down there and you forget to wash your hands.

...

This is, unironically, one of the worst posts I've ever personally seen.

>Not knowing that DC 30 exists and Persuasion isn't mind control.

Go learn the basics again, scrub.

it seems like you either are, or play with, a shit DM

every skill roll should be made in the context of what is happening. If the players feel entitled to success, they should be shot down and then mocked by whoever is running the game.

>Arcane tricksters are the best class.
FTFY

Okay, so trying to re-balance for a player the four elements monk without massively overhauling it or just outright giving it spells. I'm thinking two of the following three changes would be a good buff, but I'm looking for feedback from people who actually play and don't just sperg out online. Options are:

1. Ki cost of all features reduced by 1
2. Getting an extra ki point every odd level
3. Killing an enemy recharges 1 ki point

But you can't just make Prestigidation have an effect it doesn't have.That's like saying slashing weapons should always include a bleed effect. As far as I'm concerned, the effect of Presidigitation fools the taste buds through a voluntary illusory effect. It doesn't actually replicate the chemicals that cause such adverse effects to the human eye. Which is why I said if there's any blindness, it should be from the physical things being thrown in your eyes.
It's like if you try to flavor a glass of water to taste like a health potion- it doesn't gain the effects.

Are you sure you even like roleplaying games?

Is HAM worthwhile at lvl 4?

lel nat20 maymay

HAM is good if you go up against a lot of nonmagical enemies not holding magical weapons.

Fair enough, I just needed to to hear the 'it's an illlusory effect'

They're pretty excellent. I kind of wish the Eldritch Knight was on the same level. Low level illusions are so many times more useful than low level blast spells.

>want to play Drunken Master Monk
>can't because one of our players is getting into hard drugs and will try and play one as an excuse to show up drunk or high

Any ideas as to how I could reasonably reflavor it? All I can come up so far is "generic ninja"

You're not summoning some fucking spices to alter its taste, you just change how it tastes with magic. It's transmutation, not conjuration.

I did only number 1 and it worked out pretty well. Hell that guy rolled 3d6 in order and was still fine.

EK's can be fixed by simply removing the school restriction, or if you're DM is a massive tool, at least pick your two schools.

AT's it's less problematic on, because let's face it, at least ONE of the schools you would pick on an AT will either be Evocation or Illusion.

I don't know why the magical weapon distinction is even there. Creatures have resistance to non-magical weapons because they have extremely tough or MAGICAL hides that need other magic to defeat. Plate metal is plate metal; if a magic weapon has a better chance at denting or shearing through it, that's already reflected in the magic weapon's attack bonus. And Heavy Armor Master is more about knowing so much about armor and fighting so effectively in it that, instead of trying to jerk away from an attack you can't stop anyway, purposefully shouldering into it so they strike a thicker part of your armor or twisting so that a penetrating blow can't go as deeply as you grind it against the walls of its chink. A weapon being magical shouldn't do any about that unless its enchantment is "ignores armor entirely".

I'm playing a Wood Elf Drunken Master that I've reflavored as an Elven Dancer. As opposed to flavoring the sudden movements as lurching or spastic, I describe it all as gracefully flowing from one enemy to the next.
Lore Wise, the GM and I have flavored it as the Wood Elven equivalent/alternative to the Blade Singer High Elves.

Stanky Leg Dancer
youtube.com/watch?v=iRZ2Sh5-XuM

>want to play cleric
>can't because one of our players is getting in to Mormonism and will try to play one as an excuse to prosthelytize

???

Rolled 11, 12, 9, 14, 9, 2 = 57 (6d20)

6 skill roll. My level 1 neutral dragonborn sage fighter will take a shot.
Str 17 +3
Dex 12 +1
Con 12 +1
Int 16 +3
Wis 12 +1
Cha 13 +1
5/6 natural 20!

>want to play a tiefling
>can't because one of our players is already a Mormon and will reveal their inner BDSM fetishist

dont compare heavy drug users to mormons, drug users aren't nearly that bad.

Yeah, that was sort of a 'oh no how do we keep it from being too good' but it just makes it basically useless after a certain point.

...

Goliath Champion X / College of Valor 4 or Goliath Scout 5 / Totem Warrior X? Both sound like fun, even if Champion seems kinda meh.

So the UA knight became the cavaleir, right?

Drunk monk isn't actually drunk, as much as the proficiency in brewing tools obfuscates that. Go watch Jackie Chan movies.

Just use any other Jackie Chan movie.

>One dude shows up high
>People start taking breaks to blaze up
>Game slows to a crawl
That group ended quickly for me. Drugs and tabletop, not even once.

he's completely right tho

>Anyone can roll, so the 5 Int barbarian knows more about magical theory than the wizard and Veeky Forums fuckcocks justify it with "lol he just happened to hear something in a bar"
Oh look, the assblasted wizards are back!

Have any of you ever done The Hidden Shrine of Tamoachan from Yawning Portal? I'm going to DM it soon, but I'm having a hard time finding some resources to use beyond the book. For most instances it seems that I can find a lot of extra material and discussions, but there's not a lot for this particular one.

Any insight is appreciated.

I do. I just don't like the utter bullshit that D&D has become.

And this is the only argument they can bring up. "LOL ur just mad cuz caster supremacy is gone" it isn't gone and this has nothing to do with caster supremacy. Sure let's just let barbarians piss lightning bolts for "game balance" I don't care, that has nothing to do with how they would know SHIT about ancient magical secrets despite NOT HAVING FUCKING PROFICIENCY IN THE SKILL.

Not an argument.
Not an argument.
Again, not an argument. It doesn't matter what the game is *supposed* to be, it matters what the retarded RPG culture has created. A d20 roll should have NO effect on an NPC's actions. It should be roleplay only. Get

I mean, we do meme about how stupid it is that my max Str Barbarian has to roll to move a bookcase and rolls a 3, but the tiny gnome Wizard with 8 Str walks up and gets an 18 and shoves it out of the way.

It makes more sense that a non-Wizard might have heard some snippet or arcane lore than a total weakling could out-muscle Hercules, but still

>LE NOT AN ARGUMENT

We've mostly fought cultists so far. There were a couple guard drakes around, apparently, and also a couple half-dragons with breath weapons

The "not an argument" thing has always confounded me.

It seems like it should be a good point, at least in the right context, but I have never seen it used that way.

Either it is used when an argument is being made, or when there is no attempt at/presumption of making an argument.

Are people just really stupid or what?

I didn't use shitty, passive aggressive green text, I just linked his post, which means I agree with him, yes.

I moved it with my arcane energy.
The ranger with his... eh... finess.
Cleric had a lil help by god and all that.

Barb getting his magic right is like punching a computer and getting lucky.

>I mean, we do meme about how stupid it is that my max Str Barbarian has to roll to move a bookcase and rolls a 3, but the tiny gnome Wizard with 8 Str walks up and gets an 18 and shoves it out of the way.
This is why d20 rolls are garbage, and the "roll for everything" mentality can only be solved by an OSR revolution.

>It doesn't matter what the game is *supposed* to be, it matters what the retarded RPG culture has created
Stop playing with retards? Or could it be those are the only people willing to play with you, because you're an awful player?

We drink like 4 Beers each and smoke 2-4 joints every session, but the again Germans can handle drugs.

New here.
how do i get into D&D? i've always wanted to play it, but i there's like no place irl where i can go to play it with others.
is there an online alternative?

That means "here's your (You)"

It would have been more appropriate to say "this " or something.

I feel like half of this shit is on the DM and what rolls he's asking
I was playing my barbarian and I wanted to move a bookcase in front of a door to stop some skeletons. Considering I had 20 strength he was like "Yeah you move it." If your DM leaves everything to skill checks, thats more than just shitty.
>"I go to open my waterskin"
>"Roll a dex check to open the cap"
>Nat 1
>"You close it tighter."

Wish that group was the same, barely did shit once the blunts came out.

What sort of shops would be in Innsmouth? I'm using it as innspiration for a town in the Abyss, leading into a horror-themed session in a castle on the hill. Lovecraft-meets-Dracula-meets-Amnesia the Dark Descent.

Also random puzzle ideas are welcome, I struggle with puzzles.

But it was 3 link

Nah, warlocks are.
>See through darkness
>Repelling blast so that it can't ever reach you to bite you

It depends on the people in general. I'm an amerifag and my friends can have a few beers and 2 of my other friends usually smoke when we play. The game for us doesn't die, in fact one of said pothead friends opens up more and gets way more engaged/in character. Shits great.

It's the result of people not following the directions and rules. We're told:
>DO NOT roll for things that are impossible
>DO NOT roll for things that are trivial
>DO NOT roll when the consequences of failure are uninteresting
>DO NOT roll when something is achievable and there is no time crunch
and people ignore it because, hey, if you're attempting something, you must have to roll, right? That's why we have all these skills. If the use case isn't strictly covered by some existing rule (you can jump X number of feet), doing anything like that necessitates a roll.

It's bullshit. It's the same reason most people played alignment wrong and then bitched about how stupid it was. They didn't fucking read, or understand, or they just fucking forgot.

>REEEEEE/10

I only let my party roll once to accomplish a task in a certain way. If the barbarian tries to kick open a door and fails, that means it's a strong fucking door and nobody else in the party would be able to succeed.

Right. Players want to get away with the absurd because they got a 20, DMs think that every little challenge needs a roll, other players want to force a roll on another PC's action, and so on. No one read or recalls the fucking book or basic tabletop sense.

Doesn't matter what system you're playing. Even the more narrative games run into this same problem with DMs or players expecting rolls for things that flat out don't need them.

I make beholder eye attack with disadventage if he can pick you up with his 22 passive perception.

A LOCAL shop for LOCAL people
youtube.com/watch?v=YOtpgz4L5d8

Except this makes no sense whatsoever. They are a subclass of fighters. Fighters hit shit and get hit by shit. The subtley of the Illusion school makes absolutely no sense for an EK

It's no use to hold onto a fool's hope, user.

Illusion helps them not get hit, which is even better than getting hit and taking less damage.
Also, they're pretending to be be Wizards, something they aren't.

this

But on the terms of rules lawyering, our wizard in the group wants to attune his familiar to a dancing sword so it can attack on a different turn (letting wizard do more magic). I made the comparison it was like trying to attune a magic ring to a Mage Hand spell, but looking over the 5e familiar spell I don't see anything saying otherwise?

>fighters can only hit things
m8 a fighter using illusions to get the drop on their enemies would be great as both a character concept and as an actual functional character.

>LOL NAT20 NOW IT HAS TO HAPPEN
Not a rule.
>though the lie is so blatant a child would catch it.
Do you roleplay hitting monsters by getting a greatsword and chopping off the DM's head?
>Anyone can roll
Variant rule/standard option for the DM: You have to be proficient to roll.
>Outlander background obliviates the entire ranger class, as does any other class that gets access to survival, makes ranger goddamn useless. Now it's a full caster class because they couldn't find another use for it. It's a druid that is slightly better at combat. Fuck Survival.
Survival just lets you do some ranger-ey things, and even rangers have to roll to do these things sometimes. Rangers are just very similar to archer fighter EKs, and that's their role. Nobody cares about food tracking.
>Just an excuse to do absolutely stupid shit, where you can jump between 1 and 20 feet and no one has any idea how far.
You have a set distance you know you can cover which means you won't autodie to a bottomless pit. If you try to jump beyond that you have an X% chance of instant death. Have fun with that.
>Maybe the only skill besides Stealth / Perception that deserves to exist.
I can agree that you could condense things down to the most cancerous powerful skills such as athletics (grappling), stealth (sneeki breeki), perception (anti-sneeki) and that shit. These skills are just way better than any other skill, usually.
>Persuasion
Greatsword chopping DM in half

Ask yourself how many attunement slots the familiars have.

Papa lazarou is how I played a mind control bard before, anyways good fun

Is Tough worth the +2HP/lvl at the cost of a feat slot? I tend to overprepare, which is itself an understatement, and I'm getting ready to roll up either a fighter or a barbarian. It's been a while since I've played a martial, so I'm going back and forth on this.

Thanks

Abso-fucking-lutely do not allow him to do this under any circumstance, no matter how justified you think it is RAW.

Having a familiar is already perk enough without letting it attack for him while he continues to cast spells all day. Fucking hell, this is what gives wizardfags a bad rep.

Consider that it's 1HP/lvl over +2 to CON and no extra +1 to CON saves. It's worth it but weigh up the choice between CON first, especially if you go barbarian because that could be AC too.

No, there are far better feats to choose

thanks bois

It's 3 HP if you're a Barbarian, but regardless of class you can find other feats to avoid taking damage equal to what Tough would give you entirely, which is better. Shield Master (assuming you're sword and boarding) is fucking absurd for your survival, but even something like Resilience: Dex or Wis will save your bacon more than having a sliver more HP will.

>go to character building session
>one of the other players is literally "lol my guy is a cuh-razy & edgy rogue that'll steal from you all"

>"funny, my character's a neutral druid who will literally eat anyone who steals from him"

>go to session 0 where you iron out shit like that
>didn't say that you didn't think that sort of character would be good for the party or campaign
>didn't judge the rooms opinion based on that statement
>didn't go with "yeah, this game isn't for me guys, thanks" if they were cool with it
>bitch about it on Veeky Forums instead
lmao, have fun turning up weekly to a game you hate beta boy

>Played a rogue and the Paladin "that guy meme edition" of the party would call out to enemies that I was stealthing near them, intervened when we tried to deal killing blows and refused to do anything but use his shield for himself, lacked the strength to use his heavy armor
Not sure what's worse honestly. Heard he rerolled as a bear druid when he got blown the fuck up cause he couldn't outrun enemies and the party just left his ass.

>my character is a Lawful Good Monk who believes that material desires are sinful
>he will have nothing for you to steal

>go to session 0 where you iron out shit like that

do people actually do this nerd shit? Is it too much for the DM to send out a group chat addressing this shit in a single paragraph?

>nerd shit
>plays D&D
pick one, chad

>Play a guy with ridiculous passive perception
>Point out literally every time the rogue tries to stealth
Perfection

>Make a Rogue1/ClericX, start at 16 Wisdom Rogue, expertise Perception, grab Observant with your VHuman feat
>Start with a passive perception at 22 at level 1.

"What are you doing over there? Should we talk to this person? Is that the plot arc? Lets go talk to this person. 'HEY PERSON!'"

This turns the CN 'lol so randumb' rogue into an amazing plot bringer for the DM. Rogue unintentionally leads the entire campaign based on the stupid 'random' shit they're doing thanks to the Wisdom based rogue multiclass with 30 pp

Can I be a bard if I cannot sing IRL and I'm not very charismatic and outgoing?

I like the bard features but I can't play it

I did do that, you expect a typical D&D autist to listen?
something something here's your (you)

there's always poetry or simple verbal prose, if you can't really do those either, just explaining what you do rather than roleplaying it is enough.

I am skeleton and I can play fighter. What stopping you?

Session 0 is more to get the players involved with work that's traditionally GM-only, like overseeing chargen, and also to know how everyone works together as a group. Also, having an scheduled session tends to bring out more thorough responses than just asking it in a chat or something

Buy a pocket book of poetry and flip to a random page whenever you need to do something bardy idk