Roll a natural 20

>Burning Wheel

>roll a natural 20
>hit monster so hard that it travels back in time and explodes, causing the extinction of the dinosaurs

This shit of 'your own success cripples you!' pisses me off.

I once had a DM who, every time we killed an enemy, had them die in a ridiculous manner that always involved their head exploding. Eldritch blast? blows up their head. Fire whip? Destroys their head. An arrow? The head explodes. Literally every single death was their heads exploding, much to my initial confusion.

Then I realized he was doing it purely to fuck over the party necromancer so he couldn't speak with dead to interrogate them or raise their bodies (not that there'd be much of a point, given how raising humanoids works in 3.5).

That there are legitimate ways of accomplishing the same goal that he didn't use ticks me off. Against the same player focusing on a stealth character in a game I wasn't in, I later found out he gave the enemies goggles of bypass-all-possible-stealth-attempts or some nonsense (yes, even with taking all the appropriate darkstalker, etc feats. Literally every single possible RAW and RAI avenue covered). I think then he either had them inexplicably break when the party recovered them from the enemies, or just had them have a sell value of nothing or whatever.

No idea what he had against that guy, but this is the same DM who would just have a wall of force appear out of nowhere if you tried to go somewhere he didn't want you to go, and then try and argue walking into it inflicts terminal velocity falling damage.

Amongst other things.

Too slow and clunky

>Roll a natural 20 on CON check trying to outlast a succubus
>It's midday tomorrow, the inn caught on fire from friction, and the top half of the succubus is missing

>roll a nat 20
>miss
>remember this system is roll-under

Did anyone ever call him out on his bullshit or at least stop turning up?

>didn't even have to bride them
That's not what "animal husbandry" means, user.

nigga what

>roll natural 20
>i do the thing i wanted to do to the absolute best of my ability.

Yep. Why do you think I wasn't in the game with the stealth issues? Steadily increased from there.

GURPS with a competent DM.

It's got:
1) Engrossing combat rules where you can actually feel like you're participating in the fight by smartly picking maneuvers, and thus feel extremely heroic when slaying big dumb orcs.
2) 3 Major Magic systems (Basic, Sorcery and Ritual Path) and countless minor systems to choose from that can be tweaked to the GM's liking.
3) An strong line of books tailored for hack and slash, dungeon delving adventures (Dungeon Fantasy), as well as some of the best sourcebooks for fantasy and medieval settings (Fantasy and Low-Tech).
4) The extremely robust character creation system can create any high fantasy character that you can think of.
5) Countless articles published in Pyramid, a GURPS magazine, about the subject of fantasy gaming.

You must be 18+ to post here.

My only problem with gurps is the lack of updates. The system is great, the supplements are good but I can't shake the feeling it's all but abandoned by now.

WFRP 1E/2E, Harnmaster, MERP, Runequest/Mythras, DSA/TDE.
A random pick of any of those and minor house-ruling will provide superior results to playing minorly-houseruled D&D of any edition.

>roll nat 20
>DM tells me I get to roll damage twice and that's it
>WTFOMGREEEEE THIS IS NOTHING LIKE MY SOIBOI PODCAST LED ME TO BELIEVE

>roll a natural 20
>get told to reroll using the dice I was supposed to use

This tbhfamalam

Does it really even need any more updates? It can already do pretty much anything you want, and the rest can be extrapolated and homebrewed from what already exists.

>roll a natural 20
>swing the sword so hard it break my arm

>unironically using /pol/ memes on Veeky Forums
Your post is not incorrect, but you still need to go back

lol

>roll a natural 20 bluffing that i'm the leader of a bandit gang
>30 bandits appear behind me

>roll a natural 20 on my response to a shitposting thread
>My post is so witty that it inspires a new age of reason on the Veeky Forums board and nobody ever shitposts or plays dnd again.

>Natural 20 knowledge (religion)
>DM tells me I can say 3 things and they'll all be true facts about that religion

>roll a natural 20
>my dog stops growling at the wooden chest

>roll a natural 20
>on 2d6 somehow

You play in a setting with the Kingdom of America?

>roll a natural 20
>unionised muslim homosexual jewish atheist communist college professor who is a member of the frankfurt school is unable to disprove the existence of god
>a flight of f-16s appear and a crying eagle lands on the US flag
>GM reveals the eagle's name... was albert einstein

Nice.

>Roll a natural 20
>questfags shut up forever, and Veeky Forums immediately improves as they stop making shit threads

>bride them
>give them meat
Take the knot, brother

>roll a natural 20
>summon a ring to enslave mind and and soul of cute catgirl
>roll a natural 1
>stops time for whole party and the boss
>roll a natural 20
>flex out titan abyss guardian

>roll a natural 20
>thing that doesn't happen 5% of the time happens

this

>roll dice for a game
>think it's somehow better than rolling other dice for other game
>remain kissless virgin

On the contrary. GURPS is getting new updates, and is actually on the rise. There's the Dungeon Fantasy Boxed Set. Pyramid articles are still being written and published. Steve Jackson Games has allowed someone to automate GURPS for Fantasy Grounds and publicly release it (something against their policy, save for private use). Not to mention that GURPS pdfs are being sold on two other RPG sites, not just their own website. It's a great time to get into the system.

>Roll natural 20 on intelligence
>Roll natural 1 on charisma
Me irl ;____;

> give them meat
> take the knot

He gave the meat, so he gets no knot. Also, he was gonna bride them... make transgender animal brides of them (a pack?). Still the top.

>roll dice
>something happens

So if I want Conan style action for the fighters, a harry potter style magic system for the casters and creepypasta monsters what do I look at?

>20 int
More like 2.

i APPRCIATED THIS user.

>20
more like 12 int and 7 wisdom

>roll nat 20 on my knowledge (nature) check
>realize magic is impossible
>become immune to all magic

D6 Fantasy/Mini6

You should never post on a board without lurking for a couple of years.

>DM tells me I get to roll damage twice
The fuck? We always play it as "you roll damage, add modifiers, and then multiply the total by 2".

>Conan
Sorta grounded in realism, right? You want Martial Arts. Add in the cinematic options for sure if you want to do crazy shit.

>Harry Potter
So magic is reliant on wands? Been awhile since I've read the books. You can get away with using the basic magic system from GURPS Magic/Basic Set if you pare down the spell list and give Magery a cheaper cost to reflect needing a wand to cast through (referred to as a "Gadget Limitation" when building this within context of the rules). Sorcery is a good fit too, but is going to require a bit more legwork since you build spells from scratch using the GURPS Advantages and Modifiers system. If using Sorcery, you almost have to need Powers and Power-Ups: Enhancements and Limitations just for the wealth of new things.

>Creepypasta monsters
GURPS Horror and the Creatures of the Night line has your back. You can also draw inspiration from Dungeon Fantasy's monsters, as well.

>he doesn't confirm crits
>he doesn't use proper crit multipliers
baka famalam

Potter is one of the few settings where the Basic Magic paradigm of spells-as-skills would seem to fit perfectly, so aside from adding gadget limitations to Magery, you wouldn't even really need to deviate from the Basic Set for that.

...

...

Will GURPS let me play as a skeletal lich from the start and be balanced with my companions?

>roll a natural 20
>you become the GM for exactly 1 minute (you still get to control your PC)

>roll a natural 1
>GM gets exactly 1 minute to edit/rewrite your character sheet (no ink allowed)

Could one do a stupid "for-fun" game with these rules?

No it doesn't!

> It can already do pretty much anything you want

Except sell.

>Friend Roll 19
"UURRRGGGG, user WHY ARE YOUR DICE SO SHIT"

Yes. Albeit, a lich is an expensive advantage because it includes things like not needing to breathe, not needing to eat, etc etc. You can balance this by giving a lich a level of mana dependency, as well as giving them the innate x2 to crushing damage against crushing attacks.

A lich is fundamentally just a skeleton that can cast spells.

This is the Lich template. Notice it doesn't include the idea of a phylactery. It can be represented by the spell Soul Jar, which achieves the exact same effect.

Lich 105 points
Attribute Modifiers: ST-1 [-10]; DX+2 [40]; HT+2 [20].
Secondary Characteristic Modifiers: Basic Speed+1 [20]; HP+3 [6];
FP+3 [9].
Advantages: Doesn’t Breathe [20]; Doesn’t Eat or Drink [10]; Doesn’t Sleep [20]; DR 2 [10]; High Pain Threshold [10]; Immunity to Metabolic Hazards [30]; Injury Tolerance (No Blood, No Brain, No Eyes, No Vitals, Unliving) [40]; Temperature Tolerance 10 [10]; Unaging [15]; Unfazeable [15]; Vacuum Support [5].
Disadvantages: Appearance (Monstrous; Universal, +25%) [-25]; Dependency (Mana; common, constantly) [-50]; Fragile (Brittle) [-15]; Fragile (Unnatural, Mitigated by potion, monthly, -70%) [-15]; No Sense of Smell/Taste [-5]; Skinny [-5]; Social Stigma (Dead) [-20]; Vulnerability (Crushing Attacks; ¥2) [-30].
Quirks: Cannot Float; Sexless. [-2]
Features: Affected by Pentagram; Can be turned using True Faith; Skull has only 2 total DR.
Racial Skill Modifiers: +1 to Thanatology [2]

the magic system sucks

...

>anyone with 16+ int on Veeky Forums
>never ever

>roll natural 20
>table congrats
>roll followup - natural 20
>table cheers
>roll secondary followup - nat 20
>table goes silent
>noone actually at table anymore
>have placed all members of party in positions of leadership in galactic empire
>and toonami is back

Ah yes, multiply your snake eyes damage and feel like you accomplished nothing with the best hit you could do at the moment.
Crits (in D&D) make it so you roll double the dice for damage so you have less of a chance to just roll minimal damage and actually have the critical feel like a critical. The mods are added after the double rolls. Also anything that requires an attack roll can crit, spells that use attack rolls state they do so they can crit.

Wow, thanks! I'm sold on GURPS. I actually got into ttrpgs because I wanted to play a lich after reading some light novels starring one. D&D left me out in the cold.

Spoilered for skub/anti-skub but I've found it in the past 3~ years that quests tend to have better nat failure/successes except Soma that one time. The two DMs I've had push into the meme nats territory

>Social Stigma (Dead)

Imagine being this much of a faggot

Great! You want to get GURPS Magic, too. That's where the Lich template I posted is from, as well as the more robust listing of spells.

Well of course those goggles have no resell value, everyone already has a pair.

But yea, I've had a Dam like that. I know those feels.

>Roll natural 20
>Do thing I wanted to do BEYOND my capabilities.

>roll nat 20
>still not enough to make friends

oh no user. you entertained the autism and now it's spilling out onto the floor.

>Roll nat20 with x4 weapon
>GM describes it as a superlethal attack
>Rolls 1 on damage
>GM retcons everything into a gentle tap

With a x4 weapon you roll the damage dice every time, you don't just multiply at the end.

That is, a 4x weapon dealing 1d10+3 is 4d10+12

>Role natural 1
>Weak mind crumbles under the raw dominant energy of the warlock's spell, forever enslaved body, mind and soul to him forever.

>roll nat 20 on my check to roll a 20 sided die
>roll 21

Every group I have been is you roll damage and then multiply.

>roll nat 20 on my check to roll a check to roll a 20 sided die
>roll nat 21 on my check to roll a 20 sided die
>roll 22

>tumblr is learning about dnd thanks to TAZ and CR
>they think the "nat 1 on intimidation check and seduce the orc" is the funniest shit ever

>DM who would just have a wall of force appear out of nowhere if you tried to go somewhere he didn't want you to go, and then try and argue walking into it inflicts terminal velocity falling damage.
But... falling damage? Why? How?

haha but just imagine
a human paladin kissing an orc barbarian lol
wouldnt that be so funny to see haha
god i wanna see that
i wonder what sound their beards make

haha

>tumblr is retarded
Thanks for the info. Still waiting on that report on the color of grass.

This but with cock.

haha i know right?
anyone got any pics
i just wanna see that for laughs

haha

haha what if the orc got a boner
and what if it was all like doioioing
fffuck that would be funny haha

Fuck off you fags. Look, I get it, you love cock, just post on your own containment boards, or dressup and enjoy your time with your gay boyfriends instead of shitting on everything for no reason.

haha why dont you prove im gay and suck my tongue please

haha i bet you kiss girls too you gay little bitch.
my sides!

90% sure 5e player handbook says roll the damage dice twice