We create a nonsensical world one post at a time

>third god doesn’t believe in reality
Sooooo... tumblr?

>when that guy with the trumpet comes in
Literally kino

Stringed instruments bards are martial focused.

'War' and 'Symphony' mean the same thing

youtube.com/watch?v=dihJ1w48Jh0

The king is a duck, randomly chosen from a large pool of specially bred ducks, whenever a new bardic title needs to be handed out. After bestowing the title of bard, the duck is slaughtered, cooked, and eaten at a celebratory feast for the new bard.

There's a race of catgirls. They reproduce by magically turning part of them into catboys for short periods of time and can breed with other races. They make good adventurers and hunters.

Dex replaces Cha.

For every new rank the bard acquires they receive a new hat. They must wear the hats for their rank and every rank below it in order to establish their rank.

Although multiple people can apply to become official bards each year, only one of them is appointed. The rest are then eaten, with the king served as a side dish.

>Wyrd thread
Cease.

A revolt was recently led by deaf people. Given they are unarmed, they are some of the best barehanded martial artists.

Well, were. But they were slaughtered. That's why the few that remain hide on monasteries on top of mountains, with giant bells. The soundwaves repel anyone that still has a sense of hearing.

Bards are actually just specially-bred, plump turkey-like birds.

Quadrupedal penguins are men best friend

Why are you acting so wyrd user?

They use giant fluffy walking stools to travel, as walking is for dogs. Dogs meaning of course anything that's alive, not edible and not cat. Adventurera don't walk either, they hunt. Big difference.

I want one and the bipedal penguin to ride it

Only those birthed from quadruple amputee kitsune lolis have the potential to become bards.

I don't think that would work since penguins tend to be short in the leg.

Some clever clogs have devised methods to simulate bardhood, from bard-themed tulpas to robotic bards, although the absolute best was a random hag who learned bardic combat solely because she didn't know she wasn't able to.

CHA is the damage roll stat, and used to impose your will on the world through War/Song, both being an offensive and massive conflict of interests and loud noises.
DEX is the diplomacy stat, only people with quick fingers and impressive technique can enter into the tightest and most exclusive of social circles.
FAI is a stat that is randomly generated by a series of calculations and dice rolls no player nor the dm is permitted to comprehend, somehow affecting how grounded in reality the character and indeed the world itself is. There are stories of games having to be abandoned because the FAI potential was too low, and so led to psychedelic and near eldritch perversions of reality for all involved, complaints have been made this makes the game unplayable, or at the very least too deep.
ETC is every other stat rolled into one, for ease of play.

Time flows upside down.

AND THEN THE WINGED HUSSARS ARRIVED!

Their wings caused them to be flung from their horses and into space where they high-fived the sun and returned to London.

Let's see what we've got so far:
>Weapons can only be used properly by bards
>Bards can only be nominated but the king
>The king is a duck who is eaten by the newly created bard
>Bards are purpose bred, turkey like birds
>There's a race of catgirls that ride around on fluffy stools and reproduce by gender bending.
>Quadrupedal penguins are man's best friend.

>Time flows upside down
>Only turkeys birthed from quadruple amputee kitsunes can become bards
>Deaf monks live in the mountains and scare off intruders with deafening bells.

>There are creatures commonly referred to as "Daemons" by most, that only Bards can combat in any capacity.

>All "Daemons" are made out of mathematics, random assorted sounds, weird poetry, non-existent colors, experimental music, FLESH, the screams of young children from 0-10 years of age, shattered god-stuff, CAKE, the souls of the damned, assorted abstract concepts and raw Impossibility.

You can only get erections from maple syrup.

Not strictly a bard, but...

There is a steampunk viking civilization that have trained to fight using only their voice.

There is a race called Altis that is like this:
The race is human with those changes.
1-The race must sleep 21 hour per day
2-If at the last 24 hours the race slept less than 21 hours, he will automacally fall to sleep.
3-The race can fall to sleep any time he wants, this happen automatically.
4-When sleeping the race don't feel pain, heat, don't get hungry or tirsty. But he dies from age while sleeping.
5-When sleeping the race don't dream, but he knows the amount of time that passes since he started to sleep. Assuming the race slept at least 21 hours at the last 24 hours, he can wake up at any moment he wants.
6-This race when rested can decide to not wake up and continue sleeping. The race if wanted can sleep forever (he will still die from age).

airspace and mineral rights below the foundation of buildings must be bought from the crown separately from rights to own and develop a plot of land.

The Altis can summon Leltigres from the corpses of their kin who have died from sleep. A Leltigre possesses the memories of the dead ones used to summon it, and are generally considered dreamlike by other races.

GURPS is the go-to system for tabletop games

COMING DOWN THE MOUNTAIN SIDE

I understood this reference. It's not a good one but I get it.

Teehee Maccaroni was an Altis who tried to become a Leltigre while he was still alive. Needless to say, that did nothing other than making his mind go macaroni.

They don't live past two years of age and infanticide is common amongst parents

>a living corpse worshipped as a god known as the emperor of mankind psychically makes warp travel possible.

Expanding on this, there is an inebitable future will happen no matter what you do, but everyone has alternative pasts.

people use horses as dinner plates

So we got the first god Veeky Forums, killing anyone who believes in God's, then we got the Reddit God, killing anyone that believes in himself by cenosrship.

Then Tumblr is just a retarded fart god outside of reality.

Fire is a liquid.

The world exists on top of a flower with a ocean of water in the middle. One region of the coast of this ocean is where the Ducks Who May Be King are bred.

>that guy literally turning his teammate into a flying guitarsolo eagle then a crab fucking drum
>guy busts out a trumpet that's clearly a synth
>explodes the crab with the guitarsolo eagle drum
>doesn't bring his teammate back, despite some random guys showing up with a guitar and a trombone
Oh fuck I miss /m/ so much.

Maybe I'll go back and get some more sentai to watch.

Fire also exists in the non-liquid state we know, but only in the dream-world.

Some scholars theorize the cosmos to be comprised of three planes. The universe they live in is the Garden. As the world exists within a flower, then other worlds must exist within different flowers, such as the world described here .

"Below" is the Dreamscape, where people go when they dream. Spirits also dwell there.

Finally, "above" is the Realm of the Two, where the gardeners-who-are-not-gods dwell.

They can have special saddles made with seatbelts

I've been toying with an idea, myself, about the concept of a military unit of bardic spellcasters who, rather than performing bardic songs for a party of 5 or 6, perform in concert to bolster or demoralize and entire army.

I've been calling them the Imperial Symphony Orchestra, with the idea being that one of the Princes or Princesses lower down the royal line have taken it up as a project (while also probably maneuvering for the throne) by being so goddamn, show-stealingly charismatic and vibrant, they manage to sweep up a literal battalion of individuals who are naturally predisposed towards being the center of attention. Could end up being a potential not-quite-BBEG for my next campaign. "The Composer"

What they really needed was a large steam chamber and a giant stick of butter...

The word inebitable has the following meaning:

E stote on wush eberitink strots 3 ekam inexpicably les snense}

All spellcasters are inheritly evil

However, all spells are inherently good.

However, nobody's ever seen a spell at anything other than seething over being cast, so nobody knows this.