Never played any TTRPG in my life

>Never played any TTRPG in my life
>Always have to see other people play it on youtube
>Don't have any friends to meet up and play
>Doing it over skype/discord/tabletop sim seems boring to me.

How do I fucking find a group?

Nut the fuck up. Join a roll20. And stop complaining.

This. Beggars can't be choosers

You don't, you just yell at people who do. It's what the board is for, after all.

Organized play. Check a local game shop on Wednesdays and there'll maybe be a public group.
If not see if your local library or rec center has any TTRPG groups, or if there's anything nearby on Meetup.com or sites like that. Or your town's facebook or reddit page, or whatever.
If you don't find any games through those then consider setting up a group like that yourself.

Roll20 groups are often shit

...

How I started:
>walk in to comic book/game store shop
>see people playing DnD
>say "can I play?"
>man responds "sure would you like some donuts mystery man"
>proceed to eat donuts and play DnD

So I guess DnDnD.

Check listings at local stores.

Were the donuts good?

Suicide is generally a safe bet.

This.

>you just yell at people who do
OPs pic is pretty appropriate then.

Definitive best answers for your situation. /thread really

The same way you find volunteers for anything else - parks after sunset, bring chloroform.

Look into public games (adventure league, PFS.) They're kinda lame, but it's better than nothing, and it's a not-so-bad way to find your way into a new group.

I wouldn't eat donuts handed to me by a sweaty grognard myself. They always strike me as basicallly emmisaries of nurgle when I go into the local shop.
I disinfect the books after buying them as well.

Diptheria, clostridium, e. coli, listeria, norovirus, salmonella.

When I looked for a game, I went to a site, I think it was meetup.com? Joined two tables, which led to joining a third. Still with the same three groups. I had considered joining a fourth table, but since I'm not a NEET any more, I don't think I have the time.

Almost every city has a facebook RP meetup group, you should probably check those out. They're usually full of people in the same situation as you.

>I disinfect the books after buying them as well.
Even if they were shrink wrapped? Or you mean just second hand?

>>Doing it over skype/discord/tabletop sim seems boring to me.
this probably means you crave real human interaction instead of TTRPG

>never played tabletop
>got a decent grasp of general concepts of 3.5e (and by extension PF) from PC games
>friends never played, say they want to play, so we try
>friend of a friend has some materials, die, and has printed off free 5e materials that we can borrow
>there are only 4 races and 4 classes in the 5e basic rules and class features, domains, etc. aren't listed
>we don't have the PHB with us (which presumably contains those details)
>don't have even a conceptual understanding of 5e or how it's meant to work
>want to play 3.5e or PF in Forgotten Realms setting because it's what I know
>nobody knows the rules and I'm the only one who bothered to even skim-read them
>have to help everyone make their characters even though I don't know what I'm doing
>friend volunteers to DM but has even less of an idea than I do about how the game works
>don't want to DM or babysit because I want to actually experience the game as a player

Would it be a good idea/possible to try to outsource just a DM?

I am thinking that we will treat this 5e game as a trial run just to make sure people get the basic idea of what tabletop RPGs involve and how they work. Then I can tell people to go and read the basics of PF and we can play that instead. But it seems to me that we need a more experienced player as the DM, and none of us have any experience playing at all (except for one friend who played a two-session joke game of 5e).

Any other suggestions?

Get friends.