That Guy thread

We have this
imgur.com/gallery/Z8D9g

>Iberian?
This isn't any better, it could refer to Iberian Celts, pre-indo-european Iberians, Iberian Germanic people (visigoths), or the amalgamation of all of them plus arabs and jews, that is the modern population of Spain.

>Aryans? Dravidians?
Exactly, as you can, see, population of India consists of two very genetically distinct groups, and one of them is closer to Germans than to the other.

>I CAME TO THE GYM TO DO BODYWEIGHT EXERCISES
Gets me every time, and I'm not even Veeky Forums.

Either way, using 'race' to refer to ethnic or ethnolinguistic groups is outdated as fuck.

I'd give him his diversity but he wouldn't like it
>orcs are blacks (violent, stupid, rapey)
>goblinoids are asians (beayd eyed, buck toothed, swarming, live by the sneak attack)
>dwarfs are jews (greedy, hairy, short)
>elves are pansexual two spirit crossrdessign snowflakes
>hobbits are now mexicans (lazu, hungry, sleepy)
>all humans are white

So, basically the diversity of stupid racist straw man stereotypes rather than actual diversity.

I'd have laughed him the fuck outta there.

>slavs are not human
FTFY

Do slutty brown elves count as diversity? Because that's the kind of diversity I can get behind.

>that isn't actual diversity!

Do you happen to not know what diversity means?

A plate of ten different kinds of animal shit is a diverse selection. Just because you don't like it doesn't mean it lacks diversity in any capacity.

If you posted this three months ago, I'd just slapped a
>shit that didn't happen
and leave. This time, I'm inclined to believe.

Ha
Take a Mydol snowflake it’s just a joke.

That's the wrong kind of diversity. She needs to have rainbow coloured hair, be at least two hundred kilos and have a variety of mental disorders, both imaginary and real.

>Do you happen to not know what diversity means?
You made the mistake of speaking English. In English and Newspeak, "Diversity" is a so called faux-ami, or a word that sounds the same but means something entirely different in another language (a famous one for French and English: Blessed and Blessé [injured]). In Newspeak, "diversity" doesn't mean variation, it means less black people. A homogenous African country is diverse, Switzerland with its four distinct majority white cultural groups is not "diverse".

Learn the difference, it could save your life some day.

>all humans are *normal
ftfy

>be at least two hundred kilos
She's working on it. Whether she's working on getting fat or fit remains to be read.

>is a so called faux-ami
The term "false friends" exists in English, you pretentions cunt.

Rude!

I’v been kicking around an idea for an eastern style campaign for an OSR game
>Humans: Japanese in the pre-jidai period.
>Elves: Chinese Celestial Court with an Eternal Jade Emperor and everything
>Dwarfs: Dutch merchants
>Hobgoblins: Koreans
>Orcs: Mongols

Slavs are subhuman.
And that's coming from a slav.

>pre-jidai period
That shit makes no sense. I meant pre-Sengoku.

>Orcs:Mongols
Mein dark skinned bretheren from a long lost ancestor
Mongolian orcs with clans, tribes and Khans are the best thing i've ever done

Wanting diversity isn't automatically bad. If a group of humanoids evolve closer to the equator, they should have darker skin. If you always run a game in the same part of "not Europe" things can get stale for some people. You don't have to go all white genocide, but even in the real Middle ages there was some ethnic diversity. I mean, it was primarily Mongol hordes and muslim pirates, but that's cool ass shit.

I am Irish as fuck. I can trace back my lineage to 1726. That said, a lot of men in my family have black hair, like North African black. The moors did some trading on the coasts, and occasionally banged some fish monger.

He still sounds like a raging autist though.

Six one-dimensional strawman cliches instead of actual cultures do not make much diversity.

Your doll snowflake?

Strawman diversity is still diversity.

If you want realistic cultural diversity, ASK for it. Don't just ask for some nebulous, undefined 'diversity' and expect everyone to automatically hop onto your specific train of thought.

Players like that are every GM's horror story.

Yes, and noobies doing exercises wrong is not the annoying part, it's the gymbro's doing retarded stuff.

>In Newspeak, "diversity" doesn't mean variation, it means less black people.

I think you have that backwards. Surely you meant to say "more black people"

Talk to him about it. Talk to the GM about it. The GM should let him describe what he's trying to do (and not be afraid to cut him off if he starts rambling), then give him ONE roll for something like investigation (trying to find hidden shit) or anatomy (trying to dissect spiders) that applies to the entire fucking thing. If it fails, tough shit. If it works, give him a preset number of items depending on degree of success (barely made the investigation roll: he finds the homeowner's purse in a drawer, with enough money for one day's worth of rations. nat 20: hidden passage if they're trying to flee, hidden compartment with jewelry or decent gear otherwise).
If the guy drags shit on too long, throw him a curveball. He spends several hours dissecting the spiders -- a bear has decided to make this abandoned cave his home, or the spiders' offspring has been lured in from the pheromones they release when they die, or (if he doesn't get the hint after several sessions of shit going wrong because he's dawdling AND you talked to him about it) the spider venom has soaked through his gloves and he is now feeling unwell. Temporary stat penalties, and if he doesn't get it looked at, permanent stat reductions or other drawbacks. Maybe he now emits a horrible stench that makes sneaking impossible for him, not to mention seduction.

ITT
OP's fantasy that never happened

...

>thatisthejoke.jpg

>trading
Thats a polite way of putting it user.

Im sorry what?
>The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

More individual blacks but less people, user.

i need the source on that gif
for research purposes

Now that the number of idpol threads on this board is more than 8% of the board, should we have a separate board for political shitposting threads disguised as discussions about traditional games?

There's not a single That Guy post here besides the OP.

Congrats, /pol/.

On one hand, could be fake since it's so cartoonish. On the other, that's exactly how some of these nutters act. A conundrum.

"White people are elves" was literally a /pol/ meme.

>be on Veeky Forums
>that guy starts a thinly disguised /pol/ thread
>baits people in, nobody discusses Veeky Forums related topics and instead circle jerks political memes

Even if it was bait, the question must be asked; why are people biting?

I like how this thread has gone full /pol/ when the biggest part of OP's story had nothing to do with it

God bless Plague out there on his meth farm

I'll throw a that guy story out there.
>see Exalted game recruiting, GM mentions that it'll be crafting/sorcery focused, so you should come into the game with that mindset (this will be important later)
>contact the GM for more info
>red flag 1: he mentions that it will be an ERP game
>say "i'm not really into that," GM says that's fine and that it's not going to be a major focus of the campaign.
>decide to explicitly build my character to be as immune to ERP as possible
>build Twilight caste blacksmith, former thief, missing a hand. Used to have a partner who he was in a relationship with, they betrayed him to get a lesser sentence, left him with gynephobia.
>i'm not taking any chances, who knows what kind of degeneracy lies in store. take Horrifying merit, make him gruff, old, and covered in scars
>red flag 2: two of the other players drop out a day before the first session, and the GM decides to invite some of his friends over to fill in the gap
>the other player who didn't drop built a sorcerer catboy trap
>GM decides to run a session zero with me, the catboy, and the one of his friends who vomited out a character sheet in time
>campaign is set in the west, on an archipelago somewhere near the south, greek/roman inspired societies
>catboy turns up at the port while my character is waiting for a delivery, asks him to show him to those weird ruins out in the jungle
>character figures "sure, i'll get paid for it" and starts leading him
>catboy and I banter a bit on the way
>red flag 3: before he describes how he abandons half his clothes in the jungle because "it's too hot"
>GM's friend still hasn't showed up yet
>we arrive at the ruins unmolested
>venture inside, where we are introduced to GM's friend, who instantly seizes the reigns from the GM (backseat GMing was kind of a thing for him)
1/?

>Even if it was bait, the question must be asked; why are people biting?
No quest threads within easy reach to occupy our time.

I'm already on Veeky Forums. If the choices are "go to /qst/ and see if there are any threads that catch my attention while browsing Veeky Forums" and "stay on Veeky Forums and reply to bait threads while browsing Veeky Forums", I'm not going to expend the effort to browse a different board.

>describes how the catboy and i walk into a courtyard, where there is an "incredibly attractive man" holding a sword, "who radiates an electric aura that leaves a pleasant tingle on the skin"
>he immediately draws his sword and proclaims that he is the god of this city (read:pile of ruins) and protector of this place, and we should submit to him.
>in character, am not afraid because I picked up Shattering Grasp on character creation
>red flag 4: backseat GM mode activated
>"actually, shattering grasp doesn't work that way on artifacts,"
>explain that I know that, but i just know how to separate in character and out-of-character knowledge
>meanwhile, he continues his rant about how he's the greatest and most powerful person ever, and could kill us all with a flick of his wrist
>red flag 5: in case you didn't notice, backseat GM built a Dawn Caste warrior for a "crafting and sorcery focused" campaign.
>old blacksmith mumbles that this guy's crazy, probably got his mind fucked by that artifact sword or swomething
>backseat GM: "actually, that's not how artifact personalities work"
>all the while this scene is happening, actual GM has gone radio silent
>red flag 6: ask the dude out of character to let up a bit, he responds with "it's what my character would do"
>in character, shrug and leave the crazy to his crazy, since catboy is real interested in that spire over there and there might be some artifact shit still inside
>he follows us, continuing to rant about how he's superior to both of us, being a god (flashing his caste mark). I think he was trying to bait us or something.
>walk into spire, catboy starts going crazy, messing around with sorcery and shit
>exalts from turning the ruins on
>turns out it used to be a flying city, as described it was actually a pretty cool base
>fly city over jungle into the ocean, explicitly staying away from the city
2/?

>hours later, in comes a bunch of refugees
>backseat GM makes sure to greet all of them with "i'm a god and you should treat me as such", catboy's still high off his exaltation, names himself master of this city
>old blacksmith is not very trusting, does not reveal that he is an exalted, does not join in with backseat GM's speeches about being a god, just says that he's along for the ride
>in comes the next set of refugees, who want to know that we're not Anathema
>backseat GM goes radio silent (i'm surprised he could hold back), catboy explains that we're not, he's just a sorcerer and figured out how to make the city work again
>side note: my character had Influence 1 as a merit, pretty well known in the community (this will not be important later, or at any time in the future)
>he's hiding his face, trying to appear uninvolved with all this craziness
>big boat arrives, carrying the DMPC
>we'll call her Tits, because that was her only character trait
>Tits is the leader of a cult, and is a Zenith Caste exalted
>basically forces my character to admit to being exalted
>flips immediately to "we should take control of this region, we are the chosen of the unconquered sun, yadda yadda"
>backseat GM says "i could siege this island alone,"
>old blacksmith does not take kindly to threats to his people, tells him that that won't be happening here
>red flag 7: GM immediately PMs me, saying that I'm playing my character too much like a paladin and I need to chill out
>backseat GM backpedals, saying that he didn't mean he was going to hurt anyone
>end the session there, since we couldn't decide on a plan and the GM's other friends hadn't turned up yet
>fast forward to next session, introducing the fourth player
>we'll call her Discount Disney, since that's the character he built.
>describes her as "luscious and thick, her body full of curves"
>red flag 8: discount disney had made it his personal goal to seduce all of the players as soon as possible
3/?

Why would you stay?

Of course I'm against it, what kind of faggot would want to be portrayed by an elf?

It's SiR, not plague

Why are you putting so much effort into typing this.
I can guarantee this leads absolutely nowehere.

The kind that makes this, spoiler'd due to cancer
YES KEEP GOING

>some person brings up some gripe about Veeky Forums
>THIS WOULDN'T HAPPEN IF YOU SHITLORDS DIDN'T BAN QUEST BRING BACK QUESTS FUCK YOU
Every time.

>constantly bitches about quest threads not being here
>too lazy to just click the link to another board
You faggots were never really interested in quests, you're just mad that you can't annoy other people with them anymore.

Don't worry user, I'm interested in seeing where this goes.

>Been part of a 4e campaign for a while, comprised of good friends
>One friend (That guy) has a chaotic neutral character
>Takes that as "do whatever the fuck I want with no consequences"
>Has randomly attacked me and other party members for no reason, nearly gotten us killed by an angry mob, regularly steals from other party members. Even killed a very valuable nobleman we could have used for information.
>Catch word that BBEG has a massive castle build into the side of a cliff
>Castle itself is situated about halfway down, can either climb up or sneak down.
>Me: "We need some way to sneak down there."
>That Guy: "Come here, I think I found the way!"
>I walk over
>That Guy: "I kick user over the cliff."
>DM allows this, I just barley dodge
>"What the fuck is wrong with you?"
>That Guy: "Chaotic neutral."

I don't see why the other party members would keep someone who keeps fucking them over around, but it's not like this story happened anyway (chaotic neutral isn't a thing in 4e).

We just used regular alignment, not like it's impossible

In game you should gather the rest of the party, and vote to kick him out, or end him. Don’t tell anyone what is happening, just do it the next time he is out killing a NPC. Or think of an errand for them to run. If they are trying to kill you, you need to defend yourself. One way or another user.

Post away, I’m still reading user.

>You faggots were never really interested in quests
Exactly, that's why making a separate board for a Veeky Forums-centered activity was retarded.

It would be like making an entirely new board for stat-me threads or Excuse Me threads because triggered babies can't stand to see things on Veeky Forums they aren't interested in. Remember that the mod who created /qst/ said that quest threads were Veeky Forums-related.

>I never cared about quests
>I just care that they aren't shitting up Veeky Forums and we need to fix that

Every day I see the sticky and smile. Shitposters like you were so smug and confident that your shitposting was the epitome of high quality content, it's so wonderful to see that you're still butthurt more than a year later.

you mean a Tolkien meme

Now that all the questfags have been banned, I'm sure Veeky Forums will resume churning out OC any day now.

I'm on Veeky Forums and /pol/ besides here.
Terrible people come all the time, yeah.

stereotypes are always based off of kernels of truth and never straw men. Don't just throw words around because you saw them on a reddit thread you upboated.

>all
>you're still posting
i don't think you know what that word means

>Within easy reach
it's a click away ffs, go do it.

>questposters were the OC creators
Is that why I keep hearing questfags complain about their dead board and fractured community? Huh, that seems counter-intuitive, but I'll take your word for it. But please, continue to lecture me on how shitty and terrible the board is and how much I obviously hate it just because you're butthurt.

>discount disney arrives on the back of an armored terror
>climbs up through the sewer system
>Tits notices her, sends out cultists to retrieve the other players
>backseat GM arrives via intricately described parkour (this would also go on to be a theme)
>catboy arrives groggily (for you see, he was a cat and liked to sleep. truly the height of comedy)
>wearing female clothes
>turns out catboy trap was actually a catgirl reverse trap
>backseat GM now cannot go a single post without mentioning how hot catgirl is
>discount disney is, meanwhile, generally confused, though she keeps trying to hug everyone
>blacksmith stops her, offers a handshake instead as a compromise (but you see, I offered with the stump hand. truly the height of comedy)
>ignored
>tits reveals that she's exalted, rest of the players do the same, backseat GM does his generic god speech
>red flag 9: discount disney didn't have any idea what being exalted meant, despite being zenith caste, i.e. the caste that gets personal instructions from the sun when they exalt
>around the same time, player number 5 arrives
>red flag 10: immediately asks me what my fetishes are
>give him a non answer (he was actually pretty cool outside of this moment)
>he continues, tells me about all his fetishes
> "cool beans dude"
4/?

>handshake except without the hand
this is actually funnier than the rest of your group so far tho

>Does Veeky Forums have threads about the horrors of gym etiquette?
well, yeah

I consistently laugh until I cry several times while going through those
I hope it never stops being so effective

>assassin girl arrives, somehow gets away with not revealing that they're exalted
>subsequently molested by discount disney (he went super in depth talking about how his character's body pressed up against them, etc. etc. red flag 11, by the way)
>at this point, we transition to evening, we're all drinking
>discount disney is playing it up, starting to get a bit more handsy than usual
>assassin makes a couple posts, then ghosts, has to get to work early in the morning.
>discount disney manages to drunkenly explain her backstory (princess of a bunch of tribal islanders, left because she loves the sea, has an incredibly protective brother who is chasing her down)
>backseat GM starts putting his hands all over Tits, at some point they disappear into a private chat for ERP purposes
>discount disney drags away catgirl
>old blacksmith left alone
>continues drinking, fade to black.
>fast forward to downtime activities
>oh, i think, this is my chance to start doing things in the campaign as a crafter, i can start fixing the city up
>nope, red flag 12: GM is imposing a 3 dice penalty for missing a hand
>despite me explicitly having a charm that waives the needs for tools
>whatever, make most of my rolls anyways.
>next session, assassin comes back with a ton of info on how different senators are corrupt
>red flag 13: ignored, instead we focus on the one deal that Tits found out about.
>senators are paying off a bunch of pirates
>catgirl does some sorcery to find out where the deal is happening, and spends a bunch of willpower to see the pirate captain taking the money
>pirate captain is not on a boat, instead he is in the city, as my character can tell via the desricption of the background
>everyone assumes this means that the pirates don't actually exist, and the senators are just stealing money from the people
>take Tits's boat over to the meetup point
>backseat GM jumps over to the shore for some reason, to ambush them there
5/?

What *were* his fetishes?

impregnation, breast/nipple play, "lots of cum" and monsters
>the money arrives, on a shitty barge
>discount disney looses her giant fish to "immobilize them"
>the barge pretty much immediately begins to sink
>pull in the boat, assassin and I jump off to try and save some for evidence
>save the dudes driving the barge too, because they'd make good prisoners and "gotta save muh people"
>meanwhile over on the shore: in come a bunch of tribals, presumably to take the handoff
>red flag 14: led by a loli in black
wait, fuck, i forgot about player number 6. alright, crash course:
>arrives on boat with assassin after downtime
>describes his character as wearing heavy robes and a mask, of uncertain gender (switched pronouns every post, and used a pic from Journey as his character art), I at first thought he was my brother in the cause of anti-ERP
>immediately starts doing sorcery, flies around on a cloud inspecting the ruins
>catgirl and backseat GM show up first, backseat GM does his god speech (are you sick of reading that yet? maybe you can imagine how i felt reading the whole thing every time a new named character was introduced)
>Journeybro also pushes away discount disney, refuses to be molested
back to our regularly scheduled program
>Journeybro instagibs loli from up on his floating cloud
>GM rules that the damage was nonlethal, didn't want his NPC exploding into a fine red mist
>backseat GM gets to have a long, intricately described scene where he beats up the rest of the islanders
>while I continue to fail my rolls to lift any of the crates with one hand
>Journeybro flies back over, has his cloud lift up one of the boxes
>Assassin somehow manages to pass the roll to lift a box up
>for some reason, discount disney wants me to use Crack-Mending Technique (for those of you who aren't familiar with Exalted, it lets you repair something to perfect condition within a few seconds) to seal the boxes up since we can't save them in time
6/?

Sounds like pretty vanilla fetishes, depending on the monsters.

I'm not calling him a degenerate, just that I didn't really care that much since I wasn't in the game for ERP
>backseat GM jumps in, says actually if I wanted to do that there's another charm i should use (which I don't have)
>discount disney sulks (this will become a theme)
>red flag 15: attempts to molest loli with mouth-to-mouth because "teehee she's so innocent and doesn't understand that she's not drowning, she got knocked out by hard light beams and has three broken ribs"
>catgirl is even more ineffectual than I am, built basically entirely for sorcery and sorcerous workings
>the barge goes under, we lose the rest of the loot
>assassin cracks a box, they're all deeds and various proof of ownership for property on the island we started at
>discount disney hauls loli over on the back of her giant fish, starts asking if any of us know medicine
>red flag 16: 6 players and 1 DMPC, not one of them has a single dot in medicine
>backseat GM and Tits stay to try and get info out of the islanders and the loli, the rest of us fly back on Journeybro's clouds.
>session ends there
>back at the island, discount disney somehow coerces the autistic catgirl into a dance contest
>recruits Journeybro, backseat GM and me to judge because we're nearby
>He honestly doesn't care that much, they pulled him away from his work to do this
>side note: discount disney was fucking stacked with social charms
>i'm talking he rolled 19 dice to catgirl's 8
>they come up with the same number of successes
>discount disney sulks, said that if he actually tried he would totally have blown catgirl out of the water
>whatever, rule it a tie and try to get back to work
>Journeybro suggests that they can both win
>apparently this was acceptable
>internally wonder why the fuck they even had the contest in the first place then
>it is explained that they were doing this to try and settle a bet
>discount disney tosses catgirl some skimpy underwear, which was her part of the bet
7/?

>I wasn't in the game for ERP
I still don't get why anyone would join one if that was going to be a part of it, ERP means you'e GUARANTEED to deal with horrible people.

manga is elf-san wa yasararenai by synecdoche porn name is methonium

>backseat GM smells blood
>apparently he had had a scene with discount disney that went down in private (read: ERP) teaching her to do "massages"
>tells her to give catgirl a massage
>i see where this is going and alt tab, go play civ for about an hour
>red flag 17: come back, both discount disney and catgirl are accusing each other of molesting the other
>discount disney starts getting a bit autistic about it, sulking and whining
>at some point during the 'massage', discount disney rolled an instill action to give everyone watching a tie of lust towards her
>7 successes
>poor old blacksmith man only has 3 resolve
>excuses himself, tries to escape to his workshop
>discount disney follows me into my workshop, apparently was finished with catgirl
>full of empty bottles of wine, the forge is empty, all this and more are signs that this character is not right in the head
>red flag 18: instead of asking what the fuck's going on, decides to try and molest me again
>decide at this point that i'm kinda sick of this shit
>blacksmith flips out, tells her to stay the fuck away from him
>explains his backstory, which is pretty much as described in part 1
>with one added detail: he considers himself guilty for killing his father, since he was murdered with a knife that he made
>since then, he swore off making weapons, and has never again made anything designed to kill or hurt people
>discount disney starts whining ooc about how i'm 'yelling' at her, somehow can't imagine that anyone wouldn't be okay with how he does things
>next session, backseat GM has troubling information about the loli: turns out that she's a dynast assassin
>everyone begins contemplating killing her or questioning her for information
>discount disney jumps to her defense. "but she's only a little girl" and "you can't torture people"
>decide to just ask her a few questions
>who is the pirate man? why does he live in the city?
8/9

Oh my bad. I put more meaning into "cool beans dude" than you did, I guess.

i don't think you understand how starved i was for an Exalted game.
>turns out the pirate captain was actually a displaced prince, working with the senate to place him on the throne of his nation, which had been "destabilized" into a democracy by third, evil island nation
>red flag 19: this island is run by a senate, and is heavily inspired by the Roman Republic, and they are conspiring to put a king on a throne
>red flag 20: all the while, discount disney is crying both ic and ooc
>ic, she's begging us to stop asking the loli questions and conflating it to torture
>ooc, he's crying about how other characters are taking social actions (read: backseat GM rolled one time to intimidate) and how no one ever lets him do what he wants to do (read: stop the session dead in its tracks)
>scene stops as GM tries to calm him down in PMs
>returns to the game, ooc talking about how he should just reroll since everyone was better at being social than he was apparently.
>red flag 21: says that when he rerolls, he's just going to make a character with the party's agenda in mind, since he can't handle disagreements
>catgirl's player and I spend about two hours trying to get him to calm down.
>DM sends me pic related (Di is discount disney, Alany is backseat GM, Chen is catgirl)
and that's the story of how i got booted from an exalted game full of that guys for not being sexy enough
final red flag count: 21.

I hope you learned your lesson. ERP means Escape at Rapid Pace

>When you're scrawny but tall as shit so You convince yourself you're healthy
>When your girlfriend likes you carrying her around but you're barely strong enough to
>When you get stomache pains from eating the same shit you've been eating for years
>When you just want to have a better life but the inertial momentum of terrible, awful, shitty life choices won't let you escape the gravity well of failure you've been building for 20 years
>When you remember that your favorite website has a board for people like you
>An user posts a funny comic that makes you remember you can talk to people about getting started with changing your life

I'm gonna go read a sticky. Thanks user.

incredible

Honestly breh, I expected that to go a lot worse, but damn, I'd hate to have been in that party.

What is it about Exalted that made you starve for it? You liked the lore?

The lore, the system. I got a bit into creating characters just for fun.
And I've still got a line through the game through the catgirl's player, so we'll see what tales of degeneracy he comes out with.